My daughter is 17 her bf is 19 she has been dating this guys for about maybe 4 months and she is asking me for birth control. This is her very first boyfriend. I’m not comfortable her having se* but I rather her be safe then sorry but honestly I think it’s too soon…help me need advice…
If she’s asking for it, that means she needs it. Support her and get it. Regardless of which way you go, she’s going to do it. Good luck mama.
It’s that or you become a grandma which one would you prefer? Be supportive mama she is trying to be responsible and do the right thing and coming to you for that support.
She will most likely do it regardless of your opinion. It’s best she is safe. Go to the doctor with her and discuss options. Also remind her the only form of birth control that also protects against stds is condoms
Put her on birth control! Sincerely, a very young grandmother
Yes get her on it! Or risk the chance of pregnancy! You may not approve of it but atleast she trusts u enough to let u know she needs it and that’s awesome!
What would you prefer?
Be a grandmother to soon or put her on birth control?
I think I know what one I’d be choosing.
If she’s asking for it then obviously she is ready and wanting it.
She’s being very responsible.
She’s going to do it anyway. If she’s asking for birth control, take her to an o.b to discuss her options. It doesn’t hurt to also have a discussion with her and let her know that she doesn’t need to do anything she isn’t ready for and that she should still use condoms.
If she’s asking she trusts you. So listen to her. She’ll do it even if you say no I won’t help or don’t do it.
Yes. Yes. Yes .Yes. Unless you’re ready for your daughter to become a mother and you to become a grandmother. Either way she will be having sex and sex is better with more protection.
Yes, get her on birth control. And make sure you tell her you appreciate her coming to you, and make it known you are there for any other questions she might have, now or in the future. Sounds like you have done a good job with her, she is thinking about the consequences of being sexually active and not just the activity itself.
It’s not your decision. Facilitate her taking control of her body and her future. The fact that she is speaking to you about it, means she has the maturity to do what is right for her at the right time. We don’t own our children, their bodies, or their decisions.
Just because you aren’t comfortable with her being sexually active doesn’t mean she won’t be. The best thing you could do is sit down with her and talk about it. I’m going to be 25 this year and was never actually talked with about “the birds and the bees” and now having a daughter I don’t know where to start when she gets to that age.
Is it too soon for her to become a Mommy and you a grandma?? There is no “too soon” if she’s asking to be put on it. First of all, she can go to any clinic without parent consent and get birth control so you don’t decide when are can and can’t be on it. Second, if she’s asking you she’s trusting you to help her.
Give her the resources to protect herself. Be supportive and be thankful she is being smart about it. But her some condoms too. While birth control is helping with pregnancy prevention, condoms are important too. Protect your daughter and guide her when she’s asking for your help!!!
If she is asking she most likely needs it. Her getting on birth control is better than getting pregnant. Also, be happy that she trusts you enough to ask because in Oregon she wouldn’t have to talk to you she could go get it.
she’s 17. not 14. just because this is her first boyfriend, definitely does not mean she hasn’t had sex before. you’re very lucky she was comfortable coming to you. respect her body and her choice and get her on birth control. she’s literally telling you she needs it, you not letting her have it only takes away from her. she’s trying to be safe.
Asking you for help getting it was prolly the hardest thing she has done, sit and talk with her about safe sex other than pregnancy. Then explain her possible options and talk with a Dr to see what would be the best option for her! And be open and honest discussion about letter her know you are glad she came to you before taking that step without being protected.
YES! Honest I would’ve put it on before then, I have a 4 year old and I’m trying to decide, when she gets that age, when to put her on it. In my mind I was thinking 15 or so. I would want her to be comfortable and if she doesn’t like 1 kind, she should switch it up.
Get her birth control. Better safe than sorry.
Even if you arent comfortable, be comfortable with the fact your child is asking you and looking out for herself. If I was in your position, I would get her birth control. I would let her know that I was so happy she came to me and that she respects herself enough to take care of herself and do her best to leave her options of her future as open as possible. I would also let her know you dont feel comfortable with her having sex and you worry the emotional toll it can have on someone, but ultimately it is up to her and you won’t judge or shame her and she can come to you in the future and you can talk. And don’t forget to let her know you’re proud that she is being responsible.
Thats what I would do. Also remind her that condoms are her friend if she is going to be having sex because birth control fails sometimes, and because of diseases, especially the “invisible” ones.
You may also want to set up a word between you two or a phrase that she can come to you with that says she needs an ear and an open mind.
Obviously its different, but my son is 12. I noticed he started keeping things from us because he was worried about judgement and our reaction. So now if he comes up to us and says, “No judgment time” then he feels comfortable talking to us because we agreed that when he starts with that we will have a discussion and not a lecture. He can tell us and he knows we arent judging him or anything. We obviously let him know he couldn’t go steal a car or rob a store and say “No judgment time” and there would be no punishment. Lol but when I hear that now from him, it switches my brain to “My son needs help and understanding, not punishment.” I’m hoping as he gets older this will come into play when he gets romantic partners so hopefully, if need be, we can stop any potential problems before they start.
I hope this helps, and dont forget, you’re doing something right if your child is asking for birth control (she trusts you) and is looking out for her future (you raised her with confidence so she knows she has a future and should value herself.) You’re doing good. Its scary, but its a milestone and you’re off on the right track.
That means you should have done it yesterday. Make the appointment immediately and leave condoms where she can find them. I think we all know when kids/people are ready they are ready not much anyone can do about it. With that being said my son is 12 and my daughter is 8 so hopefully I don’t have to take my own advice any time soon. I just hope my son is smart enough and girls parents are putting them on birth control early enough. Because im not cut out for all of that mess.
I think its great that she felt safe enough to discuss with you. I would also suggest having the chat about stds etc as hopefully she isn’t being influenced because said bf “isn’t comfortable wearing condoms”
Feel glad she was comfortable enough to run it by you. She is 17 doesn’t need permission. (depending on where you live though I guess). Be proud of her mature attitude and doing the right thing for herself.
You may not be comfortable with it, but it’s going to happen.
It would’ve taken a lot of courage from her to ask you.
Go with her to the GP and discuss what options are available.
Also - make sure you tell her that it’s still important to use condoms!
Yes, if she’s asking then she should absolutely be allowed. You should be happy she came to you for BC and not an unwanted pregnancy. If not allowed she’d still be having sex just unprotected.
Absolutely! She is going to do it either way , educate her and get her BC
She is 17, in a year she will be able to get onto it herself. She is asking you and coming to you. You got to realize how embarrassing and awkward that must be for her, even though your mom. Not all teens come to their parents, especially for stuff like that. She is asking for it that means they need it. Shes almost an adult. Support her.
I was that age when I asked my mom for birthday control. She wasn’t happy about it, but she was supportive that I made the right decision and asked her. Its better her asking for birth control then to tell you she’s pregnant. Goodluck mama I know its hard. But you’ve obviously done a good job if she feels comfortable enough to come to you.
I was put on birth control at 14. I think it’s truly okay. Especially that she feels comfortable enough to tell you. Maybe it’s for her period. Just make sure she takes it every single day
It’s a tough decision, because you hate to think your young daughter is sex active
But it’s also too young to have a baby
So if it were my daughter I would take her to a doctor to get birth control.
She doesn’t need your permission to be on birth control. They teach this in school. If she’s going to have sex she will do it anyway. The fact that she came to you over this should mean the world to you. Get her on it.
Yes get her on birth control and thank her for coming to you. Way to go on raising your daughter to feel comfortable enough to ask you❤️
I got on it at 17. Mostly just for acne and to try to shorten my periods because they were 7-9 days long. I did start having sex after being on it for a while. Be glad she was comfortable enough to come to you about it. That shows some maturity. Just make sure you talk to her about it.
Weather you feel comfortable about it she will do it regardless, I honestly think she mature in her head to even be taking precautions and thinking about the consequences that could happen if she don’t go on contraception. She open up to you and is asking for your guidance I would say help guide her and help her take the right precautions. Also tell her to ask her partner to get an std check so she knows he is all clear for stds so she is also being safe aswel as taking precautions. Like wise on her part if she has been sexualy active to also get std check just to be safe.
Be thankful she’s coming to you and asking for it, definitely be supportive and help her get on birth control as hard as it is!
Just because you get it for her doesn’t mean you have to make it easy for her to have sex. You can still have rules for your home, where she’s allowed to go, no sleepovers etc. I’d also get condoms because birth control does nothing for std’s.
Umm when a teenage daughter asks to go on birth control, you say yes. Whether your opinion or not…it’s always a yes. She’s 17, obviously there is a time when she would start needing it
If your daughter came to you she trusts you. As a parent you don’t want to think about it but at the same time you want to keep her safe and you will want her to come to you with other things. Make an appointment asap and have her and you write down questions to ask the doctor and what you would like the doctor to discuss with her about safe sex practices.
I started when I was 16, for me it regulated my periods and definitely helped with the pain of the period. It’s also always better to be safe than sorry mama, i assume you’ve had THAT talk with her so just make sure you’re there to support her in the things she believes is good for her🤍
Teens will find a way to do it so better have her protected trust me!
Yes, get her on birth control. Give her all the info about STDs, etc. Educate. Educate. Educate.
She’s 17 she’s hardly a young teenager, I’d rather my daughter asked me for birth control than come and tell me she’s having a baby support her she’s going to do it anyways x
Yes of course she 17 and if she had Come to you and asked for it then she obviously needs it… she will be able to go to doctets herself without your permission at 17 but as your mum she came to you first as she trusts you enough to talk to u about it dont push her away and tbh not really hour decision its her body xx
Her asking is her at least trying to be safe. Not allowing her to could end up with a result no one wants. I would take the time to talk to her about sex, condoms, the choice to have sex and all that comes with it.
And at 17 she doesn’t have to have your permission she can go get it herself. Be thankful she is talking to you about this.
Well I was too scared to even ask my mom. And had my first beautiful daughter at 17. So take that as you will…
I never asked my mum i just went at got it and tbh at 17 their wouldn’t be a issue at the gp and they wont tell the parents
She trusts you enough to come to you and confide in you about this. Some teens would just wait til their 16 and go get birth control without telling their parents as over in uk a parent has to go with you under 16. Go docs with her
Yes if she is asking you for it then she needs it or is going to need it
Absolutely!! At least she’s asking for it and trying to be responsible about the situation. I’m sure it wasn’t an easy discussion to have with you.
She came to you. Respect her and honor her choice
Her body her choice. Teach her proper ways to take care of her self, her options and build her own self worth up. She’s 17 almost an adult. Just be greatfull she came to u bc they can get bc on their own through their dr or planned parenthood.
Sex is natural. And if u push it away like it’s something bad you can cause sexual trauma. Instead take this time to teach her everything she needs to know from a medical stand point . Teach her its ok to say no, Just as it’s ok to want/say yes. Sex is nothing to be ashamed about.
If she’s asking,she already needs it
What a question! Of course better safe than sorry.
Absolutely unless you want to be a grandma
Yes! ASAP! No shame just life. Better safe than sorry!
Do you want her on birth control or would you prefer she had a baby.
Rather her have a baby? I wouldn’t put it off.
Let her have it unless you. Want early grandchildren
She can do it without you so I’d say yes!
Would you rather her get pregnant from a man that’s she only been with a short time? Listen to her and go with her to help her make educated desicions about her birth control options. Sex isn’t a bad thing. Unsafe sex is.
Wanna be a grandma? I’d say yes
She’s 17… it’s gonna happen with or without the birth control
Her asking you is the sign she’s having sex. Get birth control
Never discourage responsibility.
Yep. She’s almost an adult, and she doesn’t want to be a mom at 18. Seems responsible. And she might have already had sex and is now worried about proper planning and such. You should be proud that she told you the truth and came and asked for it instead of sneaking.
Better to be SAFE than SORRY later on…
They are going to do it weather you like it or not, get her the birth control before she ends up pregnant
If you’re going to, I would try to find one that wont’t disrupt her hormones too much and also remind her that birth control isn’t 100% effective and to use multiple prevention methods combined.
It’s going to happen regardless. Get the birth control.
Why is this even a question… it’s her fucking right to get on birth control…
She came to you because she wanted your help and guidance to help her be safe. She needs you to teach her how to protect herself
Get it. And all honesty she didnt have to come to you to get it. Be thankful she feels she needs her mama on this one. When my step daughter was 14 she was caught with a boy. Well her baby sister was 4 months old at the time. So I handed her that baby and said. You want to make adult decisions here are what the consequences can be. For 3 days and nights it was all on her to care for her little sister. I only got up to pump. After those 3 days she was begging to not be responsible for the baby. Here she is 22 and no kids. Thank heavens.
She will have sex you want to or not , better to be safe than sorry as you said , have a conversation with her about pregnancy and how to do it as safer as she can , talk about stds as well
Get her on the pill!!! If she asking you then the thought is already in her head and you should be proud she came to you. Sounds like she’s got her head on straight.
You need to tell that dude to get the f*** on with his life . I hated that when I graduated and dudes my age 1920 had girlfriends in 10th grade still going to highschool parties and shit . He a creep
Be happy Shea asking you instead of sneaking around your back
They’re gonna do what they’re gonna do anyway,
Might as well be safe
Better that than her having an unwanted baby. Explain to her that she has to take it the correct way otherwise she won’t be safe
You should… she’s old enough to do it without your consent… so it’s just better to agree
You do realize that you not putting her on birth control is not going to stop her from having sex!! So please get her the birth control before you have to raise a new baby
Shes 17 shes gonna have sex even if you don’t want her to
Do you want your daughter to be a mother so young? Kinda a no brainer.
I say get her the birth control or don’t be mad at the consequences… also idk if it’s everywhere but where I live I’m pretty sure she could get it without you knowing about it so at least she felt safe enough to tell you. I wouldnt disrespect that
She also needs to be using a condom regardless of birth control, too many dirty dogs around!
I told my daughter when she thinks she is ready to come to me asap, I don’t care what no one says I’m protecting my baby
She’ll be all of 15 in September
Should you let her? wtf you should be telling her to get her arse in there and get on something last thing she needs is an unwanted pregnant because that’s exactly what it would be
She’s gonna do it, ma. If she’s asking you, she’s already done it. Might as well just do it.
Absolutely put her on birth control
Yes! I would also buy a box of condoms, explain (or have her OB do it) STDs and that every type BC can fail.
If she’s asking it’s because it has already happened. Better to be safe than sorry. I know what I was doing at 17. At least she is trying to be responsible. Help her out.
Unless you want your 17 year old to be a mom, I’d say yes. My mom shamed me for stuff humans do, sex… so because I wasn’t allowed on bc. My son was born when I was 17. I’m 27 and he will be 10 this year. As much as I love him & would do it all over again, let’s be real. Being a mom at any age is hard but a teen mom is even harder. Please just listen to your daughter.
Truth… as parents safety is priority. She’s to young for babies and if she’s asking for it she’s either experienced it already or very close to. Educate her, prepare her but support her in her life decisions. In the end, they won’t listen if you forbid it… just like we didn’t. Just be there for her to talk with and get the best advise on being safe she can get.
This is how I handled it with my daughter… I was as graphic and upfront with what could happen with her as possible so she could make her best decisions…
She sounds like she’s trying to be responsible and is ready for whatever may be next. If you do not get it she may go behind your back and get it, it’d be better if you talk with her more, it’s ok if you’re uncomfortable, it’s also OK if she’s ready to have sex, talk about safety and condoms, her boundaries with him and if she set any, you could suggest she wait a bit more and she may but I think to prepare her just support her, she’s almost 18 so she’s cognizant of what she’s doing. Just talk but remember you’re two different people and she was very honest and it’s brave of her to come to you to ask for it, that takes courage we all know how awkward being a teenager can be.
Do you want her to have a baby or be on birth control?!? Sounds pretty easy to me!! She obviously knows she isn’t ready for a kid if she is asking for it.
Id educate her on stds as well as birth control options. I sat my daughters down with my nursing school books and showed them very grafic pictures of what stds look like on bodies, I bought banaas and condoms and demondstrated how to use one properly, I gave them FACTS not emotion driven info. Our kids are smart…they can figure out what is right for them if we give them the chance. I would make an appt with her pcp as well to discuss options and explain she may want to consider asking her bf for std testing before they have sex. If he is a good guy he will have no problems with it. Im just saying knowledge is power and providing her good educated factual info is key to it. Praying for her and for you.
I started it at 15 and I went and got it on my own at my town clinic. I didn’t need parental permission. Be happy she was comfortable enough to approach you to ask for it. She’s being proactive and responsible. Teens have sex. There’s no way around it.
Def i wasnt aloud to date but at 15 i gta bf mum found out we talked about it n she took me to get pill even tho u dont need parents to do so it was closed so i went monday after by myself n got it at family planning im now 33 and only have a 3 yr old so 29 is better thena teen good she came to u n asked my mum n i had such good relationship i could tell her anything
Shows she’s being responsible and after 4 months I’m sure they’ve probably already been there she’s just asking for help and being safe
I’m sure at 16 she can go to the doctors and get it anyone
It’s a good thing that she came to you it means she trusts you. Absolutely take her for birth control. Take this advice from a former teen Mom and now I’m an RN. She is going to have sex weather you are comfortable or not. Take her for birth control and education about Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Also talk about the emotional impact that comes with sex. Good luck Mama! I know it’s hard when they start to grow up. The fact that she felt comfortable enough to come to you means you are doing a great job already.