My husband has paid bills for 3 months and won't stop throwing it in my face: Advice?

Do you mean you paid the bills like wrote checks etc or did yoyu financially support the household? My hubby takes of everything financial from our joint account. He just tells me what I have to spend. Your gyy needs to step up or you should step out!

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Yep… im responsible for kids pets, chores, work, remembering everything… almost everything goes wrong… making remembering grocery list…hell I’m just responsible for everything

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Tell him it’s cheaper than divorce!!

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Time to go, yesterday

So he has stepped up the last 3 months to finally be the husband he was supposed to be from the start and provide for his family. Throw that in his face.

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Dump his ass. What’s he do with all his money

Why are you even with him?! Like seriously?! If you are married you’re supposed to be a team! I haven’t paid a single bill since having our first child 5.5yrs ago and not once has my husband ever thrown that in my face and i would be gone if he had. You should be pooling your money together and working out where it goes TOGETHER! And if you’ve been paying the bills all these years what has he been doing? Was he the stay at home parent, or just doing whatever the hell he wanted with “his” money? Cus if it’s the latter, you should have left long ago

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Time to go? That’s the last thing to do. It all depends on how important your marriage is to you. Negotiate all of the responsibilities of caring for the children and the house. Show him how many hours you work. Try harder before you plan to leave

He’s clearly not a team player. Ditch his ass

A marriage is a team effort and not well I do this and you do that. Maybe try telling him all those things you do every single day and see if he changes his tune… otherwise maybe its time to think about leaving.

I would sit down and talk with him about it. Explain to him how you feel but also listen to what he says. You guys are a team and should be working together.

Shit get a job pay what you can and tell him you’re an independent woman. EFF that shit!!

tell him to come back with that one again after he’s paid the bills for 72 months.

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He’s complaining about supporting his family? I don’t get it. What DOES he actually do that contributes to the marriage and the family as a whole?

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Is the sex that good? You are better off single

Just like my partner if he help with any chores it like I have to sing praises all the time so I don’t ask him to do anything

Kick his ass to the curb…sounds like a Lil B&$@%, not husband material…just saying🤷🏻‍♀️

Who paid for a year and 9 months???

I agree ,tell him that it is cheaper than divorce.

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I’d tell him one more word about it and he’ll be having sex alone too. Like sorry not sorry, but partnerships are equal in effort not finances.

Wow! So he’s bragging he has a job and pays bills like and adult….being a role model for his children?!?! I don’t get it. Trying to bring you down for being a Mom?!?!?! Sounds like an adult conversation needs to be had for your children’s sake.

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What does he even pay for!?

Lort I’d be gone, no way I’d be doing it all for 6yrs and he just kick his feet up and relax.

Why are you asking, girl? Why aren’t you busy packing?

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Throw it at his face back for all the years you did on your own. Tell him to stop being a lil bitch about being the man of the house when you had the pants longer then him. Man sorry you wasted all those years with him. Tell him to stfu or you’ll be leaving him since you do everything anyway.

As a Husband he is entitled to pay most…if he gets paid more than you. You are the wife not the servant or the house nanny. You better get him straight before your life passes by…sounds like it’s miserable so get him straight;)

My ex husband was that way. Best thing I ever did was leave!

So he is complaining about doing what he is supposed to be doing? Maybe you need to add up how much it would cost for a maid a cook a nanny and chauffer and that would be on top of the billd and child support he would have to pay you if you were to leave so he should shut up. Wow men used to be the SOLE providers and it was their job to provide all by themselves all the money for the family all the time so he should be grateful its only been 3 months and quit being a whiny little baby.and hope he doesnt get divorce papers and get hit with the door on his way out it. Cus you should make him.leave that is your house he is staying in.

“Bully for you! Now why don’t you wash some dishes so we can be extra proud of you”! He needs a therapist.

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So that’s your only choices? Ignore it or leave? I would say you should discuss it with him.

Have you considered pointing out everything you do every time you do it?

Peace the fuck out, my girl.

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Um maybe he just needs words of affirmation. He wants to know he’s doing a good job not exactly trying to put you down

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Throw the whole husband away

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Wah wah cry me a river

That’s manipulation. You did it for how long and he did it for what? 3 months? And he’s throwing it in your face, I liken this to someone saying after all I’ve done for you?? You owe me. He is a big baby, ask if he needs his bum changed too. Why are you putting up with that behaviour? If he is unwilling to change this manipulation and throwing things he’s done for a whole 3 months in your face then you need to up and leave. So many man babies out there expect praise for doing the dishes or cooking tea once in a blue moon, when women hold down the Fort day in day out.
This is his way of trying to control you by saying look! Look what I’ve done for you! It’s honestly the most immature man baby behaviour.

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Where do you ladies find these men at?!?!?! My husband pays ALL the bills except two and he has NEVER thrown it in my face. He also makes 40 thousand more a year than me so darn right he should pay 95% of the bills. Y’all ladies need to have higher standards for yourself so then you will find a worthy man.

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Throw the whole husband away

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband has paid bills for 3 months and won't stop throwing it in my face: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

Time to go!!! You did it all without him, you literally don’t need him. Find someone else that wants to be partners and equals.

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If you haven’t spoke to him about it then you should. He can not change his actions if he doesn’t know about them. If you have spoke to him and he still continues to do it then that’s a even bigger issue. To me it is a “respect” issue. I have been together with my honey for almost 30 years. He pays more of the bills because he makes more then I do (yes, I work full time). He never throws it up in my face…actually it’s the opposite. He appreciates what I can do and I appreciate that he is a great provider. I realize I was lucky to find him that’s why I’m keeping him! <3

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My husband has been the sole breadwinner three out of almost 7 years we’ve been together (only married for 2). Not much of a choice as I became physically disabled before we even had children. He should never throw finances in your face because it’s a family’s job to care for each other no matter what. He is holding it over your head to control you and seem superior.

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I’m all for being independent but what happened to when a marriage used to be a partnership where you did teamwork and the money is not yours and mine it’s ours.

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It’s time to hit the door. Even if you didn’t do all that before no one on either side should ever be throwing anything in anyone’s face. A conversation asking for help is different but to literally say “I do this so you should be doing this.” No way. :-1: you sound smart and very capable! I bet your pretty too! You can do better.

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WTH!! Looks like you still doing your share maybe you should have him switch you responsibilities for a month. I say a month because I’m positive he will crash. We women are phenomenal creatures

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You aren’t doing this marriage thing right. There is no such thing as you paid he paid. His money is your money, and your money is his money. Y’all have been paying bills together for 9 months. Keep reminding him of that. I’d tell him, excuse me it’s our money or I’m outta here

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I’m sorry, this kind of stupid drama is why I’m single. Who needs to deal with this kind of crap every day?!?!?! Tell him to shut his pie hole and he isn’t nearly contributing enough.

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Omg some husbands, I swear. They think they do one thing and they are God’s gift for contributing to the household. I probably wouldn’t leave over that but I have a feeling if you’re thinking about leaving, there’s more to it than that, and this is the straw that’s breaking your camel’s back. You gotta do what’s best for you/your family/your kids.

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Please talk to a counselor. No one should be bragging about paying bills. He’s not a disposable boyfriend, he’s a husband. Work it out. Couples fight. Everyone has vices. The next guy won’t be perfect either. Please try to work it out.

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Family expenses should be shared. However you choose to do that. Family responsibilities should be shared as well. He isn’t another child in your family. You need to have some hard conversations and he needs to step up.

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I would most definitely put him in his place. Then give him a bill for all you do for the house and family and contribute part of that to the bills and now you both paying bills so he can’t say nothing. He really shouldn’t be putting that in your face though it’s really not right and I would call him out on it and remind him of all you did and do and let him know going forward you are a family unit and there is no his or yours just ours

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I would tell him straight… you are equally responsible in the family… the fact he pays bills means nothing…

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So he paid the bills for three months… after 6 years of not having to… and he thinks he’s somehow special for this because…

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Ask him what he needs to hear from you and why he doesn’t think your contribution to the home is equally important. Maybe he feels undervalued. It’s obvious that you do. You should be having a serious talk about this before letting your family disintegrate.

Maybe it’s time to tell him to man up and actually stop expecting you to mother him! He should be helping you with it all!!

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Did you ever throw it in his face that you were paying the bills the 6 years out of the 8 years you’ve been together?

Yeah no, it’s supposed to be a partnership. Drop him, you’re better off without him. Clearly you can handle your own, so you don’t really need him.

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From my experience. Men NEVER change. I’m kinda in the same boat. Was single and independent for many years and my other half does the same thing. Yet, I pay for everything. We just have to remind them often that we can do it without them. Good luck

Tell them you will split all expenses down the middle. But he has to do everything equal at home and you both get the same amount of time to yourselves. Or just go on worker strike

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Shock him and say I know what it’s like to work hard and all that hard money goes towards taking care of your family and this house thank you for that! And I’ll keep this house clean and keep taking care of our children and you!

:sweat_smile: is this real? Wth was he doing for the first 6 years? I’m trying to figure out hth that’s even possible… was he at home doing everything else & now the last 3 months the roles are reversed or what?!

Tell him marriage is this way so either he wants it or he dont. But he cant keep doing this its not healthy for you children to see this God Bless and praying everything works out

You could have just stopped at the first sentence. Your husband sounds like he’s burned out. I would definitely talk to him and see what the underlying issue is. I would also focus on different vocabulary because there shouldn’t be “I” or “my” when you speak about bills and finances. It’s “ours” and “we” when you are married. I hope everything works out!

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I’d say time to go. My husband has been paying the bills and everything financially for the whole 11 years we’ve been together. I do stay at home with the kids, and I homeschool my oldest so maybe not every situation is the same, but… My husband has never complained.

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It’d been my experience, that if it bothers you than you should say something. Parents are supposed to work together, sometimes is 80/20 others is 10/90, however it shouldn’t be that way 100% of the time.

I wouldn’t put up with it I would tell him either change be a man or I’m gone set a time limit

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Time for him to hit the road! It sounds like you’ve been doing EVERYthing for a number of years now. And you need a partner who is willing to be 50/50 with you and apparently, that is NOT what’s going on in this case.

Sounds like he real mean jerk to begin with narc wants control in the marriage controlling you how spend your money have come answering to spend something on the bank card? Talk to you like you a child. Uh! No he not your dad and he your husband both should work equality on financial needs. There’s no I in the team marriage? My advice is leave him take the kids with you don’t need a man child of a husband teasing you about he paying the bills rub it in your face expect you do the job. PS: it’s the husband job do the bills in the marriage. Not other way around?

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If you have to ask, you already know the answer.

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Let me see you walk walk walk. The man is the head. He should pay. I believe in helping.

time to grow up -he sounds childish peace in a home the workd is hard enough

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My spouse and I split costs 50\50. All receipts are saved and tallied at end of month.

Hire a maid and a nanny and let him pay those bills also

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It’s time to sit down while sober and the kids in bed to have a serious conversation about what marriage meants to the two of you. Marriage in mine and my husband’s eyes is a union of two people who basically become as one. The bills, extra money and house chores/kids are both your responsibility and in my eyes, it doesn’t matter weather the money or work comes from you or him, just that it’s paid. I’d lose my shit lol

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Let him pay child support….

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Uhhh NO
Stand up for yourself
He sounds like a bully
He is supposed to be the MAN
It should be 100/100
Not his lil 3mths and your 6 years…

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One question, where do you all find these winner’s… sorry I meant men? :thinking::face_with_raised_eyebrow:

Gawd. Does no one attempt to communicate? Everyone is just ready to leave lolo. :woman_facepalming:

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Uh Hell No- 50/50 in marriage . Uh take a day off go somewhere you enjoy just you leave the kids with him he’s daddy he has to deal with it too not just you ya know.

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Time to go girl I put up with it for years it won’t get better I promise

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Write a list of everything you do and then write a list of everything you see him do and then ask him if there’s anything you missed to be fair, allow him to add.
Put a price tag beside each job and tell him if he’s not doing half then he can pay you for the extra work you are always doing and apply it to the total :wink::wink: then back track for 6 yrs and add interest and let him know he might owe you lol :laughing::laughing:
Some people don’t appreciate how much work goes into a household because they have never attributed it to how easy their lives are until it stops.
I actually encountered this behaviour and stopped doing everything that was not appreciated and or on the radar. You will be surprised how much adds up quickly.
Let him know you expect half the work to be done by him, make a job chart!! They are always a hit :hugs::hugs: good luck :crossed_fingers::crossed_fingers:

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This would NOT go over. Need to have a real discussion with him

I’m a SAHM and my husband works and I literally say when “we get paid” or “we don’t have the money” and vise verse with him. He has never discredited me and I wouldn’t tolerate it and he knows it.

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Follow him around the house all day long, and say things like…

“How do you like that bed, honey? I made that bed. Isn’t it fantastic?”

“How about that dinner? I made it. I make it everyday. Look at the sacrifice I made. I could be watching Oprah.”

“Like these kids, honey? I made them. Took nine months each, and I still have stretch marks! Can you believe the work I did for you?”

“How about that sex I gave you! Whew. Good thing I put that book down and gave you the time of day! Yes, sir. You are one lucky man!”

He’ll shut up. :wink:

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Not teaching your children alot…just my opinion

Only you can decide if its worth it

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Ask him if he wants a cookie or a sticker every time he says it.:joy:

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Tell him to get another part time job if he doesn’t have enough money to pay the bills, your shut up already.!!!

Time for you to get paid…or he needs to help

Mine pays everything but water bill

If he throws that in your face, you should throw in his how long you paid the bills and he didn’t!

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When I wasnt appreciated I WENT ON STRIKE …I no longer do wifey sh*t at GF PAY…
Appreciate me or do it yo self …

Fuck him off if he complains get him to find somewhere else where he doesn’t have to pay his way

You’ll better figure this out before it details

I think you know the answer yourself.

These booths are made for walking…. Bye. Bye :wave:

Everything should be half and half. EVERYTHING

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Throw the last 6 years in his face. Give him his own medicine. Three months is nothing.
Or add up child care expenses for the week, cleaning expenses, cooking expenses, washing clothes expenses, that you don’t get paid for. And don’t do his washing or cleaning.

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Why is everyone’s answer to leave when things get tough? What ever happened to for better or worse? It always seems when things get tough or unpleasant the first option is to leave the marriage.

Tell that boy “buyyyyeeeeeee” just like this lol