My husband comes home and doesn't pay attention to me: Advice?

he won’t get it cuz he doesn’t live it. find some local mommy n me groups or something. U need to find friends. I’ve been in ur shoes. I also know working and caring 4 kids. At least hubby is helping there cuz it was my job 24/7.

Maybe think about a part time job. 2-3 days a week. It gets you out of the house and around other adults. Find a reliable baby sitter for those days. And make Friday or Saturday night date night mandatory time with your husband.

No u need love and attention. Try to talk to him. If that doesn’t work try counseling. U need to get out at night w other women card group bowling league many choices. U desperately need a support system

I don’t think you are wrong for feeling this way. I do think you need to talk to your husband to let him know how you feel and that you need adult conversation when he gets home. Also, if that doesn’t work I would suggest going for a walk or to the gym or do something for a few hours after dinner and the kids are in the bed to unwind. Maybe a glass of wine in the backyard or a good book would do the trick. It’s not selfish to need some me time I’ve been there myself.

Family dinner every day. That will keep conversations going among all members of the family.


So go upstairs and relax with him… put a movie on for the kids and go spend time with him. My husband works 12 hours a day and is also a bodybuilder, so I go to the gym with him and we steal every moment we can together. We’ve been married almost 30 years. Is there anyone who can take the kids one night a week so you two can have some adult time? Hire a sitter if you need to.
He sounds like a really good guy. That he comes in and helps you put the kids to bed is awesome. Adult time is very important.

Maybe he’s having an affair. You need to change into a goddess, get the kids gone for a night then get sexual with him.

sounds as if hes a hard working man and a good provider, hes tired, try having a date night twice a month or an activity with the kids on the weekend, your life sounds quite normal for a mom with 2 young kids, stop complaining and thank your lucky stars you have a good man, start making plans to do things either with him or with the kids, get out of the house more, join a play group with the kids, just do something

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Communicate your feelings of loneliness to him. If you don’t say something he won’t know how you are currently feeling.

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He should clean kitchen up with you…help bathe the kids and then you BOTH Get to relax TOGETHER?.

I would not try wine clubs,mom groups. Those groups just seem to find things to gripe about,r idea get into a drinking pattern. look for something like a church .they not only have Sunday services but social groups,fund raising socials like groups,charity groups,and then there’s choir,orchestra practice.and several other groups special to a few churches. Or Temples . All at your choosing.Book clubs are good too.

No, you’re not wrong to feel that way but you also shouldn’t depend on your husband to be the only adult interaction you have all day. Get out and find some friends. Find out what you like and do some hobbies. I agree that you and him need to do try to communicate better but it’s also not healthy to have no friends and relying on him to interact with. He has to work, and comes home to try to spend time with everyone and also try to relax from the day. Maybe talk with him and figure out a date night once a week?

Sounds like he might be upset about something, ask if anything is bothering him or if theres anything you can do for him. Maybe initiate a date night without asking on a night off, run a bath for the two of you romantic dinner, maybe some wine and movie. If you dont have a babysitter wait until their bedtime.

While still under Covid - find groups you can join online. Your church might have virtual classes including group discussions. BSF is an international group that has mostly women only classes .

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That’s life, at least you have a husband who loves you and works for his family.

Sounds like my life many years ago. Get a part time job. Don’t forget who you are.

Sometimes I feel like my husband is ignoring me, but its usually when I’m talking about something that hes completely uninterested in. Lol.

Go back to work and get your life, independence and dignity back. Stop giving someone the upper hand in your happiness and life.

No you are not wrong.You need a day to relax to so my advice for you is tell your husband that you are taking a mini vacation just for yourself so you can relax and enjoy it.

37 yrs. Here, still in love. Communicate don’t hold back, put the kids to bed, have a separate dinner with you and him, alittle wine helps, just saying. And tell him what’s on your mind, if you don’t do it now you’ll be a depressed, regimental wife, keep that fire burning my friend.

Join a mommy group. Play dates and socializing with other mom’s. It was a life saver for me when I moved from NY to MI. I had 4 kids 3 at home full time and my ex husband worked and went to school.

My wife felt the same. I worked 2 full time jobs to give her things she wanted. When she told me I didn’t pay enough attention to her, I asked her to tell me which job to quit. She couldn’t do it.

You have every right to feel the way you do. I was in the same situation many years ago. My husband came home, ate and went to the basement to do things he wanted to do for himself or the house (it did not matter if I wanted those things for he house). When I tried to tell him I needed adult companionship he would want the kids and me to come to the basement with him although there was nothing there for us. It wasn’t until the kids were in school and I could meet and make friends with other mothers that I was able to have a life of my own. I also did not have a car for the first 3 years and there was nothing in walking distance to take the kids. If your children are in any kind of school (although that can be hard right now) get involved with any parent groups at the school. It saved my sanity.

Stop cooking for him and having things ready are you the maid. Your his wife it’s 50/50 even if he’s working out of the home there’s more work at home than out on the field.

Find a Mother’s Day out program some churches have them take those few hours to join a gym, Find friends at church or take kids to park, And meet other parents.

When you have to find your own life something is wrong. You married to be with each other not find another life. Just thinking :thinking:

Get a babysitter to get out of the house for an hour or two. Or get a job. Something to get you some adult interaction. And some money to make any change you decide to make if he can’t give you what you need

You need to find things to do. If he is home…go out!


Part time job you will be out w people even if the money goes for childcare it would be good for you then when they get in school you will be ready to get out there again I think you seem to have a good husband he’s just tired believe me you could do so much worse

Try to join mommy and me groups with other mothers. Hire a babysitter and plan an evening out or even an afternoon off. Just don’t stop trying to communicate with him

Then when someone comes along and shows her attention or she flakes on him they start crying and getting mad so like your cars take care of her or it will rot away

Or even go back to school get your degree

If the relationship is worth salvaging, maybe you should reach out to your friend?

Make a “mom-friend”…keep talking to him about it…but get a mom friend…

When he gets home, leave and let him figure it out.

Take the kids to the park and talk to other parents.

Go to church. Join a ladies group there make new ladies friends. Join some of the church clubs. Some church have couples clubs. Ask for and plan a date night with husband.

Get him to baby sit sign up for some course’s in something you are interested in , you will meet some friends and do not give in you need your me time they are his kids he can watch them 1 night aweek

If you can’t get a date night then maybe you can arrange a breakfast away but you do need time with just the two of you

Try taking a course in college or something . Get a hobby or join a group with the same interests as you.

What I want to know is: what does he do on his days off?

Go back to work kids can go to day care.


That means usually he’s been seeing somebody else and he’s tired of giving attention because he’s selfish

If there’s no sex, hes cheating…men always are ready for that…sorry for you having to do this but you deserve something…good luck sista stay strong !

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On his off night. Put on red dress and some high heels and some sweet perfume and tell him, baby i don’t got no panties on. …and if that doesn’t get your husband he just might be dipping somewhere else. IJS

How come you don’t get a part job or sit down and start the conversation with your husband. How does he know what you want?

Why would anyone laugh at this? :rage: It’s a real thing. Being a stay at home parent is TOUGH


Pray for him. Thank God for a good provider, Tell him you love him. Squeeze his arm as y’all pass each other in the kitchen. Pray for him more. Tell God how you feel. Ask God to help you not feel lonely. Feel his touch.

No you need attention , too he is one of those husband he doesn’t care about your…selfish

Start planning date nights. Plan ahead. Get kids with friends. Be alone just you and him

Get into a life group at Grace Fellowship. Meet other young mom’s like yourself.

Join game of sultans lots of good ppl to talk to I love my group of ladies they also provide the adult conversation I need :heart:

Make arrangements to have date nights
Just you two.


Find a baby sitter, and go out to dinner !


Put the kids in daycare and get a job of your own.

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Try marraige counseling if he won’t listen. Then, if he still doesn’t have time for you, divorce him.

Buy a copy of The Power of a Praying wife by Stormie Omartin. Start praying for him.

Plan date nights, join a mother’s group, tumble tots, go to library story hour, you will meet other mothers.


Deflty not my love I been with 20years and now he shows me no attention I feel like I be lonely and etc I feel u

No you are not wrong at feeling like this…unfortunately the only thing I can suggest to you is to try and talk to him again about it or start making changes in your day. Maybe start finding hobbies to do with or without your kids. If you can afford a few hours of daycare a couple of days a week and meet new people and don’t worry so much. You have to have some sort of adult interaction.

Not at all. You need to find a hobbies. Even if it’s with other stay at home mother’s find something of interest. Your children will be school age before you know it so you can update your resume starting with part-time work. He will see the change

Join a church and you will make new friends and so will your children. And maybe your husband will start to notice a new you.:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Join a moms day out at a church.

Find a mom’s group, a ladies group at church, go back to work

No you need to make him listen and talk to you

Tell him you need to talk. If he refuses ask him why. Maybe he has another.

Join a play group with your kids and meet other mums

Are you ready for him when he comes home do you fix yourself your hair a little bit of make up perhaps some lipstick look nice when he gets home

I’m in the same situation…

Go back to work. Make some friends!

You need a date nights

You need to find you something for you.

Join a mommy group for some adult interactions

No, you aren’t wrong.

I would’ve gotten rid of his ass long before now

I don’t think You know how lucky you are ! The man sound’s like he is just tired ! He works 12 hours a day, comes home and plays with the kids and sleeps !Tell him how you feel and then appreciate what you have ! Find some other moms with kids at home and also live close ! Your kids would love it !

not at all. is he pissed because you are not bringing in any money?

People are really rude to laugh at this… wow!

You just do not know how to be a wife or a woman. If you did no troubles


Men are not like woman who need to talk things out just to vent. I am not saying this to annoy you, it’s just how men and women are wired. When you try to talk to him to talk to you, he may be perceiving this as nagging which will only alienate him more. Act like his girlfriend, not the nagging wife when he gets home. You know how to get his attention. You did it when you were his girlfriend so successfully he married you. That guy will knock down walls to get home to his girlfriend, not the nagging wife. Give him a back rub, run the shower for him with his night clothes nicely laid out, dress nicely for his arrival. Give him something to come home to.


Do you have a church. Some churches have activities that stay at home moms can do together, to get to know each other.
And they are generally safe spaces.
That helps with the adult interaction.
Then go on a date night once a week. And go for a family day too. Family activities don’t have to be expensive. Take the kids to the park along with g b a picnic lunch.
Make sure you allow your husband some alone time as well. Everyone needs some time to decompress.

Get a hobby or craft class to go to after he gets for work. You need to be with people and adults. Go to bingo You will meet people there so maybe you can meet a new friend to hang out with and to talk to. Tell your husband how you feel too. He can’t read your mind. Maybe you could have a date nite with him. On weekend when he doesn’t have to work put the kids to bed early. Have drinks music Dress up sexy. Lite his flame again. Maybe that’s what he needs. Sometimes it’s not their fault they need stimulation too. Good luck from someone who’s been married 41 yrs and still does it.

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People, especially women it seems, are really hung up these days on having their “needs met”. Spend your time focused on &
making sure the people you care about are having their needs met. That’ll leave less time for you to dwell on your needs that aren’t being met. I don’t get the “needing adult interaction” either. If I can make it through a day without having to talk to anybody, I’m happy about it.

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He’s probably tired…that’s a long day…why don’t u plan a date night once a week after the kids are in bed…or ya kno u could talk to him about it and tell him how u feel…also maybe you need some time to yourself…it sounds more like you are missing adult time and need a break more than u want his attention…

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Smack him upside the head and show him your question. He probably thinks (rightfully so, btw) he is giving you what you want because he helps with the kids. However, men aren’t good at guessing what we want.

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No where in this article did she say what his issue is. You need to talk to your husband. Find out what he needs and tell him what you need. Don’t linger around waiting, wishing, hoping. Talk to him. Write it the same way you wrote this post. Out of the 800 responses and comments none of us know him like you do. Put them babies to bed and talk to your man girl.

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Maybe you’re boring to talk to, from a man’s perspective. Is he at least still sexually attracted to you? That might inspire him to try harder. I’m sorry the way this sounds, but a guy will talk to a boring girl who they have nothing in common with, if at least they have good sex to look forward to eventually.

I worked a full time job, adopted a baby, has to quit for awhile, then went back to work, we needed the money and insurance my company provided. My husband left every Friday to hunt, fish, crab, shrimp, etc. and did not return until Sunday afternoon. Then he would bring back stuff I had to clean to freeze. I dropped off and picked up my daughter from day care every day. I did all laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning of the house and paid all of the bills. I worked 40 hours a week.

Get a job even part time . see I dont have that problem I love my space my bf sometimes feels neglected but its just me my job is so mentally draining I just like peace when I get home . n if he is working 6 to 6 cut him some slack save it for a weekend

You need to have date nights. Find some friends like at Mommy’s Day Out.


I’d do nd something to do. A hobby or something that gets you out of the house to meet people. You need friends. Try church maybe or something with the kids that other moms go to. Or make up with your friend. When you try to make one person your life and your everything, it can be a burden to them. Maybe try leaving him alone when he comes home and letting him unwind and then after the kids go to bed, can’t me to the bedroom in a sexy nightie. Spice things up a little. Just a few tips. Marriage is hard work and you have to keep working at it. There are good times and bad. But girl, you definitely need to find some friends and make sure you aren’t just being mommy. You gotta be wifey too. Just a few things I’ve seen mess up marriages over the years. Not sure exactly what y’all’s deal is but all any of us can do is guess.

Well quit cooking,quit cleaning,start going to the park rent a motel for you and ur kids for a couple days if he doesn’t message the love is gone if he does then you know he’s hungry

Demand regular date nights. The rest will work itself out as you’re alone.

Get a babysitter before he comes a nice done.his favorite outfit. On.act like you in your twenty.make it wake back up.see what a sex book.if you forgot what to do.its not hard even with kids.

Do date nights and if you want get a part time job that way you keep busy put ur chilldren in daycare part time

I just wanna say whoever laughed at this are probably men and assholes.

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He has been dealing with adults all day.

I know your heart is breaking. I’m sorry.

He’s a PIG your his wife MOVE OUT ignorant bastard !!!

Play naked tik tok on him