I have been a stay at home mum now for just under a year; before this, I worked from the age of 14 years old. Not long after quitting my job, I had a big fight and lost touch with my best and only friend. So now the only people I have in my life are my parents, who I don’t talk to all that much. They love far away, and we’ve never been overly involved with them. And my two boys 1 and 3. And my husband. My husband goes to work at 6 am and does not get home till gone at 6 pm. He always has food ready when he gets home, and the house is generally tidy. The problem I’m having is he doesn’t talk to me or spend any time with me!! He comes home, plays with the boys go up to the room and relax, comes down to eat the puts the kids to bed, and off to bed he goes; I get no adult interaction all day; I don’t have anyone to talk to, and it feels like every day I’m waiting for him to come home and when he does it like I’m not even there. I have tried explaining to him so many ways, but he never seems to understand I feel so isolated and alone, and I know he loves me, and he’s busy and wants to relax after work, but I’ve been home with two kids, cleaning cooking the same thing every day!! Am I wrong to feel this way??
Maybe go watch a movie together or try to get the kids in bed a little earlier so you guys have some time together 
No your not wrong, u need time with him. I’m also a sahm with 2 littles, try watching a movie with the family or just getting the kids to bed and watching one with him.
That’s horrible you can’t live like this forever
Your asking for the minimum as he’s ur husband. Try to have a weekend or even 1 night without the kids if possible. You shouldn’t have to demand time from ur husband. Even if he’s tired some adult conversation shouldn’t be trouble at all or even a movie and some cuddling. You have every right to have some quality time and if he fights u or argues then that’s a bigger issue.
You aren’t wrong to feel that way but it also sounds like he’s doing a lot too. This is where date nights are crucial. So you are both removed from the craziness to have time alone and together.
Join a local mom group. Thats how I have found some adult friends
I understand your frustration I have been there myself. You need to hire a baby sitter and have date night. Also consider finding a part time job where you work on his days off. He is working 12 hours a day and is tired, you also need to understand that. He is also stressed about providing for the family.
Talk to your husband
Its not healthy for your spouse to be your main source of adult interaction. Its harder bc of Covid but you need your own friends.
No,you’re not wrong,been there
I was there. The TV was always more important. No conversation no talk. He spoke with everyone else though. Others knew what weekend he had to work during that week and I didn’t find out until the night before. I dealt with it for 4 years. Then he started lying over everything. Even things so small and that didn’t really need to be lied over. I finally filed for divorce.
Make a date night !!
Not good / marriage maybe in trouble. Try talking to him in private and find out his feelings. Ask him upfront if there is anyone else he would like to be with. Hope y’all can work things out.
Do you try to talk him when he comes home? Like, hey babe, how was your day? Or something pleasant to start off the evening with? If yes and he ignores you, try sleeping on the couch a couple of nights. When he asks why just simply say, I didn’t think you’d notice since I’m invisible.🤷 sometimes guys only understand how you feel when you ‘show’ them by doing what they do, just to prove a point.
I am in couples counseling and my counselor said just spend 30 minutes today after dinner or a designated time are you guys talk to each other. Also ask open ended questions say your husband is reading some thing about the news ask him how he feels about it. Make sure to always ask about his day. You have every right to be upset though I know exactly how you feel that’s one of our issues at least he’s somewhat trying to help you with the kids. But you really should explain to him about how important this is to you he can at least devote 30 minutes of time a day to you
Do you have any pets. Maybe get a dog
You need to join a support group. Churches often have mom’s day where they provide child care and the moms meet, have programs and speakers. Also what about a date night? Call your mom and dad . My daughter lives in Fl and we try to talk everyday. Go online and join an interest group.
Definitely need to find friends somewhere … take the kids out during the day and make friends. Show him the same love to see if anything changes
You need to talk to him about it. I felt this way but talked to my husband about it and he puts a huge effort towards it now. Ilhe makes sure I get out with friends too
Nope, same boat here…right down to the previous employment and it’s almost been a year for me as a SAHM. We relocated right before COVID so it’s been tough
I would go get a job
When the kids are in bed talk to him ask him if you guys can have 30 minutes before he goes to sleep to talk, cuddle and unwind. Get a sitter once a month for his day off even if it’s only Sunday even if all you do is hang out at home and watch a movie together. It sounds silly but we schedule 1 night a week to be alone and we have a sitter 2 times a week so I can get a few hours away from the kids and go grocery shopping for the week
I’m a mom to 5 and just recently became a SAHM too! My husband works 6am till late at night 8 sometimes , sometimes working 7 days a week . I’ll have the house cleaned and dinner done laundry etc. also not much time for us but if anything watching a movie till he falls asleep a message , you mentioned he plays with the boys maybe try joining them or making activities where you can all be engaged. I don’t have friends and don’t live by family so I understand feeling isolated not a healthy feeling but I do make myself known to my husband and communication is key! If he still doesn’t acknowledge you or doesn’t conversate with you I’d have a talk about where your at in your relationship and try to work through it ! Hope things get better !
Tired or not you make time for your spouse. 🤷 I leave for work 3 or 4 in the morning, domt get home some days til 7 or 8 in the evening. We have 3 toddlers. I couldnt imagine coming home and not wanting to talk or be up under my husband. That honestly sounds like more of a roommate situation. If you have told him how you feel and he does nothing to change it, that says a LOT. Go back to work. Join a moms group in your area on Facebook. I’m sorry tho 
You can message me. I have been a stay at home mom for 9 years with on and off again little side jobs. Feel free to talk to me if you need to vent.
Complaining to him is not gonna help it’s only gonna drive him away. When he gets home how do you look ? Are you in sweats and look like a run down house wife or are you put together looking good. Think back to when you saw him : your eyes brighten ,you got a big smile on your face, your heart beat raced faster, you looked your best and was excited to her his voice and talk to him. Understandable sometimes you exhausted but if you don’t put in your not gonna get anything out. It takes two and since your asking maybe you should make some changes first. I am sure you dont want your marriage to end without putting your best foot forward
Well God says to give to him what you want. So keep giving him attention and wait till God turns it back to you.
Been there.
One day I walked in the room he was relaxing in, got his attention and said, “I think I want a divorce” and walked out to get ready for bed.
He followed me within 30 seconds and was floored. I used simple sentences explaining what I needed from him. It wasn’t a cake walk, but we made our way back.
I am also a new stay at home mom due to COViD. I have always worked but when the pandemic hit we decided it would be best for me to stay home with the kids.
I feel this way almost everyday! I feel like i have lost my identity and now im just the endless cleaner , food maker and fixer… its a really battle momma! All those years of saying stay at home moms have it easy … i was so wrong !!
Start by talking to him…
Im a very blunt person i will tell hubby hey i can i get some attention? Lol …
And i will ask him out on dates even if we take the lids too … drives work well! Fill up the gas tank and go !! This has really opened the communication for our whole family!!
Good luck momma! Stay strong! And you are not alone!
Gotta find a way to have a date. Pay a babysitter. Something. Then outside of that you need to figure out some things that you enjoy. Like a hobby and see if there are any like minded people to talk to. Does he really work 12 hours a day 7 days a week? Gosh that sounds awfully hard. I remember when I worked long hours on my feet without a day off for a week. Its rough. You have every right to get some interaction though. Unfortunately these things need to be scheduled now. You have to make time. And he needs to give you a little of that time he needs to put aside for you. Maybe once a week or so.
Communication. I’m a stay at home mom as well. I think we get so accustomed to our routines of a busy marriage that it’s hard to focus on the marriage itself. Tell him how you’re feeling. Give him suggestions on what could improve things. Life’s hard sometimes, better days are ahead.
You need to make new friends. Hubs can’t be your be-all and end-all. Maybe some women on here live nearby. Can you join an interest group for a hobby, your high school or college alumni group, a local history or preservation group, a cycling group or mom’s group? That’s where you’ll find friends.
You should seriously speak w/him, hust as you do a daily routine so does he; when getting up at 6 coming hm at 6, spending time with his kids gets ready himself & so on. Not sure if he does this all week or only weekends but try & just watch a movie together. Unfortunately, its part of growing up when bringing a family into the world. Or go back to work.
He’s just tired from work everyone needs a break when they get home. It’s awesome that he plays with the boys but I get feeling lonely. When he gets home take some time for you to go out and excercise or take a bath and set up one day a week or two when you guys can have dinner just you two or do something together.
That.life my ex the last year of our relationship it was just like that and I had no family where we lived since I moved with him Tina different state. Well we ended up breaking. We were together for 8 years but after that last year I was done so I left him. Glad I did.
Do you all have issues like fight a lot? Maybe he just doesn’t want to get into it with you and just does what he needs to and goes to bed ready for the next day to leave. There’s something behind it and only you know what it can be.
Get ahold of your best friend again…she probably misses you as much as you miss her. Quit making excuses for your husband …hes being a jerk…plain and simple. Start looking for a reliable sitter, and get back in the job market…good luck to you hun…
Ask him whats on his mind or what’s bothering him. As women we often are stressed about what hurts us and we forget our spouse has inner feelings as well
No your not wrong, seems like something is wrong with him!
What do you do o. His days off? Find a hobby join virtual learning. Reinvent yourself to make you happy. You can have it all. Znd make friends
Same. Mine comes home showers ,eats, talks to our daughter and then he has a friend he talks to on the phone. I’m used to it already but it’s messed up. We did get to watch a movie together though today. And last night. I’ve told him but he feels that if I need attention I need to find someone else. 
Just tell him you want some D , 
sorry for the bad advice just want to make you smile 
Have you talked to him about how you feel??
Find a friend. He’s had a long day too from what you said.
Get you a man…when he goes to bed.
Communicate clearly with your husband and sit down with him while he is relaxing and be with him also you can join a group in person or online and make new friends. Best wishes on your conversation with him
It is not normal for your husband to not talk to you. He therefore is not being any emotional support. It sounds like he has blocked communication both ways. Being home with the kids is hard—when do you get your free time? I would suggest a weekend away (if there is anyone to watch the kids). If not, then therapy. They say the number one marriage killer is “unrealized expectations.” Therapy can help get to the root of that. Also, maybe see if there are children’s play groups in the area—and hopefully some moms who need a friend too!
Definitely not. I would suggest trying to find some friends and have “your own life” away from the kids and him so you’re not looking to only him for fulfillment. I would imagine when you had other plans that didn’t involve him he would be more interested in spending time with you since you aren’t at his beck and call. This is such a struggle for stay at home moms as i am one myself but the only way I was able to have my personal identity was to do things without my kid and husband. The gym was a great place for me to meet friends. If you’ve already expressed to him many times that you need more and he refuses to give it to you than you’re going to have to find the adult interaction elsewhere. Although it’s pretty shitty that your happiness isn’t a priority to him but I do think working men have zero grasp on what it’s like to be home with kids 24/7. I would try the gym, mom groups, wine clubs, book clubs etc. and counseling for you and hubby for him to better understand your needs.
My husband and I try to plan a date night. With covid things are more difficult. We will choose a tv series that is kid friendly and have family time. We both work and are tired. For awhile he worked 2 jobs and I was home with our kids and I baby sat. So my life was just kids. And he would come home eat, shower and go to bed. He barely had energy for that but I was missing adult conversation and I missed him. Try to find you something. And schedule a couple night a month for the 2 of you. Even if it’s just take out and a movie at home. It still counts as a date and gives the 2 of you one on one time.
Make friends of ur own thru groups of other moms to get some self positivity. Then encourage ur husband to commit to date nite at least once a month. More if it is possible. But at least once a month no excuses. As the kids grow ur relationship changes so always be open to change together. Being kind to someone when ur hurt is hard but well worth the outcome.
No. You need his support and some friends with children that you can talk to and have some play dates for your 3 year old. Would you go to church as a family. Many great marriage suggestions come up at church.
So he’s working 12 hours a day, no decompression time, pays attention to the children, and because you lost your friend you’re putting more pressure on him? Go meet other moms. He might be talked out from work/meetings etc… sometimes they need to decompress and chill.
Maybe you could meet someone at church. Or invite a neighbor over. Hire a sitter a couple of times a month ,spend the afternoon shopping or getting you hair done. Go to a coffee shop and people watch. Volunteer at your church or shelter. I’m talking just a couple of times a month for a few hours. It will get you out of the house. You’ll be around adults. And it will give you some you time. And perhaps you’ll meet another great mom out there. I hope you do. No one wants to be lonely.
You’re not wrong to feel that way. Everyone has the right to their feelings, they your feeling & you have the right to them. Right now you can’t even get to make friends.
Try to remember this will pass, soon hopefully.a lot of us are feeling the same way.
Find out what are his interests, get interested in them too and when he comes home you can subtly start a conversation with him about them and by so doing it will be easier for you to digress into other topics and be will be interested. That works for me.
Therapy. I know it’s a last ditch attempt due to his work hours…but if he values you and the relationship he will be there. You just need someone one hour a week. It’s amazing how a stranger can turn super helpful.
He works 12 hours and takes care of the kids and puts them to bed… sounds like his day is pretty busy. Y’all need date night. I know it sucks. Trust me I know. But he’s tired. Date night every other week at the minimum will help
How easy are you to communicate? Lost your best friend in a huge fight. Not at all close to your family. He may not be attentive, but check yourself first for your attitude.
No, you are not wrong. My now ex-husband did the same thing. Can you plan a date night every week? Maybe set every Thursday night as the night with just the 2 of you. Doesn’t have to cost anything. Put the kids to bed then sit on your back deck with wine and music. Talk to him now and often about your needs. Sincerely, not nagging. Tell him you need adult interaction. I’ve been there. Good luck!
Your not wrong, your other half should not ignore you and or you shouldn’t feel ignored I understand after a days work maybe he needs time to relax or clear his head, just like you need adult interaction. Yes you need to find mom or other women to hang out with and interact with. But you both need time together to. I would plan something or have him plan something for you two a date. Then toward the end let him know you need more alone time and adult time with him either each day 30 min maybe an hour. Tell him fully what you need, what you need to change. Then give it a week or two and if it doesn’t change ultimatum, he changes or you find someone who will give you the attention n time you need.
Get a hobby or something my husband is on me about this all the time, the more he nags the more I run away. Maybe start some conversations or listen to music together. I feel like there is always someone around with three kids inlaws and my hubby. I just want to chill and I can’t do that if you make me feel like crap everytime I’m around.
Print this post and let him read it. Then it’s in him to change or not. If he chooses not to change, then the ball is back in your court. Either resolve yourself to the fact this is the real him and he will always be this way…or you decide to leave.
Have somone watch the children… when he comes home, be dressed for a romantic evening, cook a romantic dinner. Make time for just the two of you. And do this on a regular basis, but as a surprise. Also, make time for yourself, get out and join a group, sport, painting class. Whatever you like, but cultivate yourself and your time for yourself.
Find time for a date night just the two of you even just once a month. Be patient in time your children will be your best friends as you grow w them. Get out go for a walk get fresh air w kids have fun w them their only young once. Enjoy them cherish these ages .
NO, you’re not wrong, marriages all have ups and downs, I’m a great grand parent now, but I had those days too. I prayed to God to send me a new friend, then got involved with my new church and volunteer in some events. I found friends, and got my husband into church stuff so he made new friends too!
The purpose of a marriage is not for one to clean and for the other one to bring money, the very essence is the love and relationship between the two. She is right! Even a simple text on “how are you, what are you doing” shows that he is thinking of her. He is working but so is she. She did not enter marriage just to clean and take care of kids. The essence is their relationship. What about her needs, her worries, her wishes? Put it out on the table. He cannot be always with her, but he cannot simply avoid her neither. Two separate people living in the same house is not marriage. Flat mates live underneath same roof, share duties, however they are not husband and wife.
Find other moms with kids the same age and have play dates for kids and chat time for mamas. Then after you know them well enough you have them watch the boys and have date night
Saturday is date night. Get a babysitter. Get out with the kids . Play groups with other moms. try a park. It might be a little hard with all this covid, but staying in a dwelling not doing you any good. Be proactive in your marriage and happiness. Plan something fun for you two to do.
I’ve literally been in your shoes!
Definitely agree with trying a date night or relax with him, cuddle, spend time in the bathroom with him if you have to! Just to get your point across. Your feelings are not invalid!
I read this to my husband to ask his perspective, from what he remembers; I stressed my concerns to him (which you said you’ve done) and it took him to realize after I backed off from making lunches, cleaning house, and sex he knew something was wrong.
We now make it a point to shower every day together.
But also remember, he sounds like a hard working man and a great dad try not to feel resentful.
You will make it through this.
Do you have neighbors, do you drive, if you drive, call ymca, church’s, even the children pediatrician office to see if they can recommend a moms group, take the children out everyday the weather agrees for a walk, if there is a park close by go enjoy that, talk with your husband and see if he’s in agreement to work out at least one Saturday night a month for date night, even if it’s to McDonald’s, some personal time together, does he have family close by, can you spend time on occasion with them, time to reach out and start communicating with people, keep reaching out, your husband may be overwhelmed with his responsibilities of job and young family, one day at a time,
If you really love him you need to talk to him before resentment kicks in! Tell him what you need and work together to get what works for you both.
Lots of advice, but you need to think of what you really want. Being home all day with kids was great for me, I had my own schedule, I enjoyed my kids, I had quite time for my hobbies, my hubby was home daily at 5 and the kids were clean as well as the house, dinner at 6 giving daddy an hour to read the paper or putter, after dinner was daddy/kid time, while I cleaned the kitchen. Kids in bed by 7:30. Then it was our time to be adults. Some nights it was snuggling and others our different rooms. Our life wasn’t exciting but it was family. As the kids got older we had sports and met other families to spend time with. I do wish we had more adult outside friends, thank goodness I had my mom for all my talk needs. We were married for 38 years and were rarely apart, but there were lonely times too. But you need to get your hubby to listen to your complaint and work it out together. Get his input.
He needs to change places with you for a week, he’ll last 2 days maybe!!!
Talk to him about it. Tell him you look forward to him coming home and would like to have some us time after the kids are in bed. Don’t whine, don’t beg and definitely don’t be demanding or angry. Tell him you miss him.
Have a sit down with him n explain that ur feeling neglected and u want to fix that. I understand that he has long days but he also need to pay attention to u too not just the boys also maybe join a mamas group on Facebook in your area n make new friends
No, you aren’t wrong because what you do is every bit as much work as what he does.
No! I’m in the same boat. It’s tough for sure.
Trade places with him, you go to work take care of the kids and do everything he is doing now, then you can decide if how he feels is how you will feel. I wish I had a husband that did all that. I would be happy to have a man in my life just like him. True Love💕 on a side note: Marriage made me what Iam today, Happily Divorced !!! LOL
The man would be tired from working so many hours, it’s understandable. He trying I see with the kids playing a bit with them n putting them to bed. Have a plan some days to put the kids to bed earlier so he spends sometime just with you. Also find things for leisure, find friends, there is always something to do to keep you mind off things. Goodluck
Id be more then glad to babysit. You need a nice date nice, wear something sexy as if it were you first date. Remind him why he married you. But for sure, hes probbaly tired from work and just wants to rest… ive been in this situation but the tables were reserved…
Get a hobby. Take a night class. Join a church group. Get a gym membership. There are tons of things you can do in the evening after he gets home once or twice a week.
my husband used to work days and i worked evenings he put in 10 hour days then picked up the kids, took them home fed and watched them until I got home 4 hours later then stayed up until i had the kids in bed just so we could communicate even if it was only for 15 minutes. Communication is a big key to keeping a marriage together so while I understand his being tired he still needs to find a way to give you at least 15 minutes of his time before he lack of communication ruins his marriage.
No.Been married 42 years and the same.Men just are different.U can call me.
Don’t forget us grandparents or great grandparents to watch your children overnight. Sometimes it’s the simplest times that are the best. Just to wake up together with each other to have coffee/tea in the morning and just be next to each other in peace quiet time. To just breathe in the moment. May you both find enjoyment and laughs with your hectic life…
I feel badly for you. Why don’t you have friends. If you had a best friend and a fall out, reach out to her, again, and see if you can resolve your problem. On top of that, if your children go to school, get a list of all the mother’s you can and form a group. Get together, distancing of course, have coffee and chat. I did work, part time, in the beginning, while kids were young, from 10-2. Was at school, every day to pick them up. Today, however, few schools are open, so that’s hard. Make sure you look and smell pretty, when he comes home, too. He’s out in the work force where there are many lovely looking women.
You are not wrong but you are nit right either. can’t expect him to take care of all your needs all the time. If you need adult interactions join a mom and me class. Go make some friends. Your kids are young and he does his part to provide and help with them when he gets home… they will continue to take up most of your and his time. Respect that and take responsibility for your own needs.
Most men don’t like listen to women talk…my husband kind same way…just wants watch news…tv…but then he takes off to his clubs or meetings shriners things bout every nite…im.alone alot…
You should find your own friends and interests. A lot of people have had to do just that.
You’re situation sounds so much like mine after my husabnd I were married for a 2 years. Unfortunately, I know how you’re feeling… however, you’re husband is working long days, coming home to see the family and to decompress from the day.
You are on his mind just in the wrong direction that you’d want him to be. His main thought is making ends meet and that the kids know that he loves them - he loves you too don’t get me wrong, but he’s too tired by the time he makes his rounds. I had to personally schedule a night out each month so that we had our time and that’s when my husband had to make the connection. He apologized and then explained why…
He loves you first and foremost but his biggest concern is the family unit. I promise this will get better when he fully feels like he’s able to make the beautiful picture that he imagined for you all.
I had to learn the hard way be careful with over thinking his thoughts n feelings.
After a seperation, my husabnd n I rekindled and have been married for 25+ yrs
I understand you perfectly well. You made him your friend and everything at least he should give you a little attention tho he might get home tired. You lack company there. I’m sorry dear
Find a church home. Go. Make contacts … friends. Good for you… good for your children. A man working 12 hours a day … you are lucky he plays with the children. Be up beat … be positive. You want up change something. Change yourself.
He is taking you for granted. Go out and don’t be there when he gets home, find some new friends, go to local music events, even go to church or join a choir. You need to be interacting with other people
He needs to take a little time off. That’s a tough way to live. You need time out with him. Date night. Maybe a mini vacation. What do you do on his days off ? Try counseling.
Once a month my hubby and I go on date night. It’s very healthy for a relationship to have this. Been with my hubby 25 years n also don’t know what happen with you and your friend. But you have to try to find a way to rekindle that relationship. Friends in your life are in important. Life is to short n you guys will regret it in the long run. Good luck 
Have you suggested date night where maybe once a month or once a week that y’all go out spend time together? And then set family time where everybody gets to spend time together. If the boys are in school and it sounds like they are go to school functions you never know when there may be a high school kid maybe looking to babysit where there’s a will there’s a way trust me try every angle you can
I’m a stay at stay at mom. During the week we don’t talk or connect much but every weekend fri/sat or both we have “ date night in” kids go to bed early I dress up we eat dinner and have some drinks and talk about our week. If he can’t make some time you it won’t last long and if it does you won’t be happy
No, but you need to find some kind of outlet. Is there a group you could join (I know, COVID makes that difficult!) with other young moms?
of course you are lonely ; try and find an activity one dsy a week where you can take the children snd meet new friends. a Bible study with on site childcare would be perfect. Bible Study Fellowship offers this arrangement . it is a two hour meeting. children are well cared for on site while you share Gods word with other women your age. i’m not sure where you live but check locations on the web snd mske it happen. good luck
You go to work for a day and have him stay home, maybe then he will appreciate all you do