Maybe tell him? Also 12 hours a day working is tiring as fuck.
hope it gets better for you
My husband worked 1 1/2 hours away each way, would leave at different hours but always before 3 am because he delivered concrete for a living so had different start times daily. Heād come home beat from driving all day, eat, watch a little tv and fall asleep by 7 or 8 pm. Very little communication or interaction till the weekends. I signed up for Crossfit and did volunteer work with friends which helped alot.
Please pray only Jesus Christ can touch his heart 
itās the Holy Spirits job to convict Itās God job to judge And my job to Love . I well pray with you.
When I worked out on the rig welding, it was atleast 12 hr days and Iād come home so tiered I didnt know the difference between sigāum and come here. My wife put up with it durning while I was working. Time off was herās. I got to sleep in a an hour or two and then I belonged to her. She did it for 20 years.
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Communication you need to tell him how you feel !
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And two douchebag men are the first ones who laugh reacted but no you are not wrong.Everyone has responsibilities and is tired. You canāt just ice out your spouse thatās exactly when shit goes sideways
This is why being a stay at home parent ruins your mental health.
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Your wrong because he been gone for 12 long hours to provide a good life for you and the kids. Maybe join a group or get a part time job.
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Time for you to grow up!!! Its not always about you!!!
He works all day every day while you sit home taking care of the kids you chose to have!! He spends time with his kids and obviously he sees thatās more important then spending time with you which is truešÆ%ā¦ some women would be bitching that their man wonāt leave them alone an here you are bitching bc he doesnt spend time with youā¦ Well maybe there is something you need to change about you like maybe getting off your ass an getting a job so he isnt the only one bringing in moneyā¦
Arrange for a babysitter and surprise him by going out to dinner and getting some alone timeā¦then talk to him and explain how you are feeling
My hubby does this! But I know he really just wants to unwind! When I wanna hang with him Iāll just hangout beside him while he plays video games and do my own thing. Iām a stay at home mom and Iām currently attending online classes for my BA. We legit just enjoy each others company. I get moody sometimes and tell him I need attention. We do spend some time together though.
You arenāt wrong to feel that way, but its important to recognize that heās not really doing anything wrong either.
Your a grown woman. If youāre not happy about something then start taking steps to fix it.
If you want more time/attention from himā¦instead of asking him take yourself to the room heās in and interact with him.
If youāre upset that you donāt have friends outside of the home take the steps to make some new ones.
Iām not trying to be harsh or mean, but at some point we all have to take responsibility for our own feelings. If weāre unhappy then we put the steps in to make ourselves happy.
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You should try making new friends. Or start working as well. It could just be too much for him. I know when I was working and my husband wasnāt, he would want to talk and stuff after work but Iād be so drained. It would overwhelm me to try to be attentive.
I am a stay at home mom as well. Unfortunately I donāt have any answers for you but I do want to say thatā¦
No, you are not wrong to feel this way! You are completely justified and your points are valid!
Definitely try to work on your relationship with him but what I think you need more is some friends.
No. I work also. But when I get off of work and get home. I make time for my wife and kids
Why donāt you find ways to helpā¦you say he works long hours,tired hungry and wants to relaxā¦I know being mommy is a 24hr job whether you stay home or workā¦after he puts the kids to bed give him some loving attention say a back rub etcā¦break those walls down and talk with him then you will get the interaction you want and he will have the chance to relax. Best of luck to you both.
I donāt want to scare you in any ways but I was in that boat once and come to find out he was cheating on me and only wanted to be with me for our kid so he didnt have to pay child support just being honest with you doesnt mean he is but itās a possibility
Make a date night once a month
You are communicating wrong. First I recommend reading men are from mars. You will learn why he does what he does (its chapter 3). But it will also help you understand your needs and also why he cannot fulfill all of them. You need to seek out new friends or your family. I can summarize super briefā¦men need interaction 20%, women need 200%. He is getting his fill of 20% at work, which leaves nothing for you. And when he gets home you try to get all 200% out of him, and its pushing him away. You need to find an outlet for 180% so that you dont bury him. And then learn (from the book) how to communicate your 20% need. After you get that all figured out, get in to the five love languages. You are probably not the same love language and need to make conscious adjustments there as well.
Not wrong. My husband has been home way more with the kids then I have. There have been times where he has been the stay at home dad. I have always tried to check in with him during the day and I always make dinner when I get home. We hang out as a fmailyā¦yes granted I ask for 45 mins of me time to sit and not have to think. But we always make time for each other after family time. Doesnāt have to be romantic but catch up with each other. She should start joining some groups and might find someone to talk with. But her husband should give her some grown up timeā¦he should consider how she feels to make a good relationship. Communication is a huge key. Maybe surprise him with no kids one night and just have a movie night and to go pizzaā¦sometimes just having one night of unexpected alone time can reset a relationship for a moment
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I agree with above to join a young mothers group to have some other interestsā¦that will make you interesting to him, too! I also think heās tiredā¦offer to give him a back rub, put yourself in his placeā¦thank him for working so hard, etc. Consider finding a part time job you enjoy!!! You need self confidence! That being said, itās not easy to make new friends and find a job, but itās worth it!! Good luck!!
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No, youāre not wrong to feel that way. Hey listen, pick a day every other week and go get your toes done. Or go to Starbucks or just go for a ride and listen to music. You need alone time. Youāve told your husband what you need, he didnāt listen. Go do your own thing.
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Find a mops group. Mothers of pre schoolers. They are faith based and will connect you will ppl with kids your kids age.
Also search for groups for preschoolers. My daughter does a tree school. Go to the park nearby. Itāll take stepping out but introduce yourself to some moms there.
One night a week hire a babysitter. Go on a date night. Make time for quality time with your husband.
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My hubby and I are the opposite. He stays home with the kids and I work. After 12 hours away from home and getting the kids down for bed, we are both exhausted. Hubby will cook dinner and then I go soak in a bubble bath to decompress. We will get in bed and watch a little TV together, talk for a few minutes then lights out. Iām not going to be up to sitting and chatting for hours after a long day. After constant stimulation and conversations all day, I need some quiet. My hubby also wants some quiet after listening to the kids all day. I get both needing your needs met but you both have to understand the perspective of the other. If heās sitting down to dinner, use that time to talk. How do the weekends go? If he still wonāt talk to you, there may be a bigger problem. But work days are tough for everyone.
That is a normal reaction to feel that way; however, you must find your happiness on your own. Time waits for no one. Try working on you, the rest will follow. If you donāt you will be that toxic person in the family unit.
Take a shower with him, have the kids have independent play in a safe child proof environment
Give him a hug
Talk about future things
Groceries, dinner, how day went
Every wife needs her OWN time. As unpopular as this comment is going to beā¦my suggestion would beā¦get a job. Something part time in a field you enjoy. Make your own friendsā¦have your own experiencesā¦make your own money. Yes your kids will be in daycare a few days a weekā¦honestly it wont hurt themā¦they will need the socialization ( time with someone other than mommy and kids their own age) skills when they go to school. It will make that transition easier for them. Yes daycare is expensive but even if you break even financially the independence you feel will be worth it. Bringing in your own daily experiences into a relationship makes you more self sufficient and less needy. Sounds like he is exhausted at the end of the day and PERHAPS ( just an idea) the idea of you needing him at the end of a long day is just overwhelming for him. I think you will feel better in the long run. Once youāre more adjusted to the change start setting up date nights for reconnection time. Jmo hope it gives you some ideasā¦ive been through this myself.
No, but that is life. Try to find your own friends, put kids in day care and get yourself a job, thatās what I did.I talk at work am too tired to talk when I get home.
When you learn to serve God and The Trinity every thing else will fall into place , take your children to church even though the world tells you that is silly . Your children are your people now , they need you to guide and nurture them 24/7 because they are only loaned to you , you do not know their last breath so be with them like itās their last day , make memories , do fun things with them , teach them morals and how to be little men so that they are and will be ready for real Godly men . Then there is your man lol , you have to guide him too , you have to make your joy with your man , treat him with kindness , give back rubs and shoulder rubs , you have to give him praise , just for starters Good luck and God bless
Get involved with the ladies group from your church or a bible study. Sometimes when you start going out, while be spends time with the children, heāll want to spend time with you. Otherwise, youāre getting adult conversation and fellowship. Youād be surprised how many other women are in the same situation.
Your wordsā¦ I know he loves me. Treasure the time you have with your children,it is a privilege denied to many. Love the moments they go quickly.i blinked and my son was Fifty! But I got to stay home for ten years and was blessed to be their mom. If you know he loves you ,stop the drama. Does nothing but destroy your joy! Love at it with love !
Think of the environment he was raised in. He might think this is normal. So you might have to teach him how things should be. Maybe looking at yourself may help. We all need to look with in now and then. Keep trying to explain to him how you are feeling.
Itās hard when you kids are little and the hubs is constantly working or tired. This will pass and get better/easier. You need to find a mom group or a play group for adult interaction.
Iāve been a stay home mom for 5 years now. And my husband also works 12 hour shifts goes in at 5am and gets off 530pm. When he gets home he greets me and the kids, I usually have a small conversation to know how his day was and I let him take a nap so that he can be refreshed when he gets up. I feed him dinner and we usually have conversation about our day even tho he already told me how his day went. Then we get ready for bed but before that we watch our favorite show and have a late night snack after weāre done watching we go to bed.
Have you tried asking him how his day was? Does he ask about your day or how the kids did that day?
I know how you feel, is hard to meet new ppl. I take my kids out to the park but I donāt like making friends with other moms. Idk why, I might be an introvert 
. I do have 3 besties, Sometimes I donāt talk because they are busy with family as well but when we make time we have a good time. Try making some new mom friends, you then might have a reason to go out and spend time with friends. Sometimes us moms need āusā time.
He may need his down time but so do you. Maybe I missed something, what does he do on his days off? Your day doesnāt end till your head hits the pillow. Maybe he doesnāt realize what it is like to tend to little ones on his own. Sounds like an eye opener is needed.
An sympathize, my husband worked for a farmer, he left at 5am got home at 6pm or later, we lived 10 miles from town and close neighbor was over a mile, i had no car and everyone I knew was a long distance ph call. (This was yrs ago), we were young and not much money, I was very lonely, when he was home he slept. He worked 6 days a week
NOPE!! NOT WRONG AT ALL!!! See, what happens is, everybody, and I do mean freaking EVERYBODY, slowly forgets YOU! And it seems like youāve reached the point where itās time for you to very LOUDLY remind them all āMy name isnāt Mommy! My name isnāt Honey! My name is (your name)!!ā Thatās who I am, and thatās who you need to remember right now!
Did you consider the ramifications of being a SAHM before you impetuously quit your job? Keeping the house reasonably tidy, cooking and childcare are all part of it. Youāre lucky to have a husband who takes parenting seriously. Do you give him some time to decompress before the kids hurl themselves on him. Doesnāt sound like it. The manās exhausted, and you want attention. Itās up to you to find other areas of adult conversation - find something safe with the COVID situation. Do you have any interests or hobbies you can pursue? Many SAHMās have gone back to finish a degree online, blog, start an online business. Have you thought of going back to work even part time, so your kids have the opportunity to socialize with other children before they start school? Your husband is not your therapist or court jester - what do you bring to your conversations when you have them? Get yourself together so you are someone he wants to come home to, go on a date night with. Itās up to you to create your own life, and be more positive.
Back off on cooking his meals and doing his laundry. Maybe he will remember he had an awesome wife and needs her after all. Heās taken you granted. Maybe take the kids to the park till after 6, when youāre not home he WILL miss you
No you have a dismal life, itās nice he puts kids to bed but that only gives you time to clean up dinner mess!
No,your not wrong.You have talked to him and you seem to get no where.You canāt rely on anyone else to make you happy.I would find some interest and get involved in them.Maybe a night out every week with a friend for some adult interaction.Maybe you could reach out to that friend you disagreed with years ago. If your husband doesnāt realize what he has,he may just loose it.
find a play group during the day for your tots. maybe at a church. lots of momās you will find are great sounding boards and support.
My husband wasnāt giving me much attentionā¦last night I came into the living room in a black fitted tshirt, panties and black knee high socks. Got his attention!
No your not, have a date night, and what about the weekend, talk to him st the weekend
I get it to a certain point. He plays with the kids and puts them to bed. That makes up for anything else he is lacking. But thatās me.
What happens on weekends? Do you have time together then?
You need socialization with other women! Join a local momās group
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Go back to work or find a church something you can be a part of
What about weekends? Plan something!
be grateful you can stay homeā¦get involed with other mothers for play dates and communicationā¦
Might want to read the 5 love languages
Show him the post you have written. Surely that will help him to understand how you feel!
Find a play group, go to the Library for story time, to the park. Maybe you can make a friend
At least he isnāt playing on the computer
Remind him of the Kenny Rogers song
āA woman left lonelyā
Whatever you do, donāt meet a guy. If you do it better be a dog.
Practice some self care maybe
Get involved with other moms, find you a church to join.
Find something to do.
A marriage needs deliberate maintenance after kids. You need to set aside time (like literally pick a day of the week or calendar date) for the two of you. Even if itās just āon Wednesdays, we will watch a show together.ā You have to put the deliberate work into it.
Girl this is what you do.
Once he gets home, grab your purse and walk out the door and donāt say nothing.
Go get your nails done or a massage. Go get some you time. Get a stiff drink.
Then when you come home and he has the nerve to say something just say ā Oh NOW you want to talkā
Should work.
Any chance youād consider shutting your pie-hole and getting on a treadmillā¦?
Join church and make friends
Give him a special massage!