You have more say as far as his medical care if he gets sick… his life insurance… and much more if your his wife versus just his girlfriend. If your buying a home together… and raising kids then I would push to get married. Is he worried that if y’all spilt you would get half or something?
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Um everyone has their opinions, but if it’s just a piece of paper there are a lot of legal papers we sign, birth certificates, deeds to house, contracts, of course it’s a piece of paper. But, also it’s how you treat that piece of paper. I mean it’s how the world unfortunately runs. You sign everything, why not a marriage? I think it’s more than a piece of paper, it’s a commitment to each other. If you think it’s important than it is.
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I didn’t consider certain things an option until marriage. Children, buying a home, move long distances away together, and those things didn’t happen until I was married. If you don’t have conditions like that then I’m not sure there is a difference or a point. Getting divorced is difficult and why risk that for something you already have? At this point is not just a piece of paper? He can name you on his life insurance if your his girlfriend, POA paperwork can be easily done and isn’t all that difficult to get out of unlike a marriage. Seems like it depends on what paperwork enhances your life your going forward with the least disruption to the live you already have.
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If something bad happens you have no say medically for each other and often you won’t ever be able to see each other and worse case he or you die. The other has no right to thier belongings
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No , he apparently is afraid of commitment .
Texas say if you identify your self as husband and wife to just one person, You are common law married and divorce will be needed to Legally separate
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Just tell him it would make you happy. Hugs
Good thing Pennsylvania is common law married after five years… Where are you from?
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We didn’t tell anyone
we went to registry office in Adelaide to get married and went out to dinner after
What? I will be having words
My dad is the same way, I kind of am. Why pay 
to declare your love for each other
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No, God forbid he passes away and his family does not respect you and your childrens wishes for his remains. Just the piece of paper he mentions could save you a lot of hassle.
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I agree with him . I don’t need a bit of paper and spend all that $$ for just one day when I can show them every day I love them you don’t need to be married to be happy 
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Is it the getting married part he not sold in or the wedding part?
If its the wedding part, skip that part?
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So is Money 
and the whole world runs on it !
After five years you are considered sort of married anyhow just without the ceremony or papers…
He loves you sweetie and He has it all now he has you, kids, getting a house together thats why he figures why bother getting married because the only thing left is a marriage contract…even if he loves you…you cant make someone want to get married…and the word marriage does scare alot of guys and puts alot of pressure on your relationship…you can either keep pestering him to put a ring on it or let it go so you dont end up resenting him…because while it does hurt im sure you arent going to leave him right…i know lots of people who are happy and not married …one couple have been together for 40 years they just have rings they have a business, kids, everything …maybe in the future he will ask but only he can make that decision to ask you…some people are worried about medical and whatever but just make a will up because everyone should have one whether you are married or common law…we live in canada so we just made up our own and signed it …its considered legal but in the ststes it might be different and im sure you can always get papers drawn up like power of attorney so if one of you had to be hospitalized then they can make choices …go and enjoy your life together sweetie
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A marriage doesn’t guarantee happiness or lasting love, but can save you a lot of problems is something happens to any of you , like insurance stuff , money , properties etc .
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i mean… i get it. it is just a peice of paper, getting married doesn’t really prove anything, why is the need? i get that people want to get married, yeah it’s a lovely day. but there isn’t any need. then comes the expense of a divorce if that were to happen. that would put me off forever tbh😂 and if he has made his decision then you either accept that and move past it. or leave and wait for someone to come along who wants marriage.
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It is a piece of paper that’s the easy bit!!!. Its the vows you make to each other, it’s the legal partnership that you share together. It’s taking the same surname you all share. It’s give and take etc etc . We are married 39yrs this Yr and we still hold hands 
.
We got married because we’re Christian and we don’t believe in living together and not being married. I’m not sure what marriage means outside of that so I guess you should talk to him about why you want to get married. It really may be just a piece of paper to him if there isn’t going to be any kind of change once you’re married.
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It’s not just a piece of paper. It’s security for you should anything happen to him.
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Nee hoor ik voel het zelfde net zo iets als jij maak ik mee
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Signing for the house was “just a piece of paper” too but he wanted to have that commitment in writing so the seller couldn’t walk away with his investment. Marriage is a promise before God and should be treated so.
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l get paid over $125 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18150 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Details HERE… https://onlinehomejobbiz6.neocities.org/
It is. It doesn’t change anything, you just get to save agro after money, insurance if someone dies etc and get a last name (if you even want it) Divorces are expensive as hell. Buying a house together is just as serious as marriage, hell, so is having kids with that person.
You two have children together , have committed to a most likely 30 year mortgage together , if it’s just a piece of paper then I’d have to ask why he’s signed all these other papers, birth certificates and mortgages why not give you the piece of paper you want? Shared health insurance, everyone having the same last name., what you want isn’t taken into consideration
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The problem here is you want a marriage and he doesn’t. A marriage is more than just a piece of paper, it’s a legally binding commitment to one another. If you want a marriage and he doesn’t then that’s something to seriously discuss as a couple because you shouldn’t have to settle just because that’s what he wants and the same goes for him. Neither of you should be settling for what the other person wants because there is a big chance it’ll cause resentment later. You can always discuss bringing up the conversation at a better time, but you both need to sit down and discuss what kind of future you see for your life together and if it’s something you know in your heart you can’t budge on then you have to decide to either walk away from the relationship or stick it out without trying to pressure him over it later.
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It’s not a piece of paper believe me if he decides to walk out one day that paper protects you and trust me people walk out everyday
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I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 year and while we have committed on every other way both of us are on the same page about marriage it’s a no no we both think it is just a peice of paper that we don’t need. But if you need that price of paper perhaps talk to your boyfriend about it. Communication is the key.
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I mean my husband just says it’s a piece of paper and doesn’t mean anything so
Make sure both names are on the house .my wife Cheryl died of cancer when I sold the house . I had to go thru probate .Didn’t owe a penny on it. But the courts and the lawyers got over 3k dollars 
so get both names on it or BEWARE
I just put marriage and children together.
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The reason that the Gay/Lesbians fought so hard to be allowed to marry is that it is NOT just a piece of paper. Without that piece of paper if you or he gets sick that persons family can stop the love of your life from seeing you at the hospital, can take their part of the house and sell it, depending on how you set the ownership up and the children can be taken away because it can cost a lot to prove a genetic relationship, especially if the survivor does not cooperate. If you are not goint to get married then get an attorney a d make sure that everything is locked down so that if one of you gets sick or dies some disgruntled or money grabbing family member doesn’t rush in and make a bif mess of the life you had built.
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l get paid over $125 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $20288 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Details HERE… https://onlinehomejobbiz14.neocities.org/
So is the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Are those not important? It’s not about the paper it’s written on. It’s the meaning and intentions behind it and what it means. In this case, stability and commitment. It’s not so easy to undo. Where as a bf can just move out and decide he’s done. That’s not stability or commitment.
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In Gods eyes it wrong. If he loves you, what’s the problem. Me personally, I would have never put my name on a mortgage unless we were married. If you were to split up, it’s a big mess. Trust me. Like I said, if he loves you, what’s the issue.
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I’m not sure if your dad is here with you ,but if he is your partner is not only Robing you of being a bride but his also robing your dad from walking you down and giving you away ,one day your dad won’t be here and your childhood dream will never happen , That piece of paper claim you as his lawful wife ,not his live in parter
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That’s an excuse! My husband and I got together… He wanted no more kids which was fine with me bc my tubes were tied…and we both agreed that we never wanted to get married again bc both of our previous marriages were awful! Do you know how long it took for then boyfriend to change his mind? 5 months in just laying down talking and he says we should get married… we planned a wedding and we’re married 11 days later and then got my tubes untied and had 2 babies together… He knew what he wanted and he didn’t make any excuses and for someone like me who’s so self conscious and anxious about being liked it had changed everything about me to know that there’s this one person that lives me so much he changed his whole life for me!
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Leave him don’t waste time no more
No. If you want that security, especially before having children, that’s what you want. I’d be asking, why doesn’t he?
My husband thought the same till I almost died. It’s not just a peice of paper if something was to ever happen to you he would get no say. Unless he’s your next of kin.
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A marriage is a commitment but there’s also all the legal stuff behind it… certain pensions will only go to a married partner. Probate after someone passes away. The will sometimes costs more than a simple wedding.
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Honestly nothing changed in our relationship when we got married after 6 years and 3kids, we have always just been committed to each other, we rushed to get married cause I needed to be on his health insurance, here we are going on 22 years together and married 14 of those years. We both came from broken homes and marriage scared us both . I would have a heart to heart with him and always tell him how you feel.
No ma’am, that piece of paper gives you and him rights if something happens to one of you .
Look up medical rights and death rights
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Without that piece of paper if y’all split up the only rights he’d have to the kids is taking you to court for any custody rights and visitation. Being on the birth certificate doesn’t give unmarried fathers custody rights. (I’ve researched this, and technically this is how it is by law though some places don’t follow it but a lot do). If one of you dies, then I’m pretty sure the unmarried partner wouldn’t automatically have rights to any money or anything the dead partner left behind. If one of y’all was in a horrible accident, you wouldn’t have the right to decide what happens to the person like you would if you were married. While I agree marriage is a piece of paper, there’s a lot of privileges that come with that piece of paper you don’t have without it.
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So he lied to you? And when he asks who cares if we get married, tell him you care, it matters to you and that should be enough. If not, you may need to revaluate your relationship.
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He won’t marry you, I had the same issue with the father of my kid and he thought the same thing. They say marriage will be a possibility just to keep your around. But they have no intention of getting down on one knee. Either you accept he doesn’t want to get married, or move on.
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I agree with him all it is a legally binding peace of paper. It don’t prove love or worth commitment of any of that. If your gonna be shitty or cheat your gonna do it marriage or not.
We had power of attorneys written cuz w were together a long time before getting married and I had a written document in the safe that everything would go to my now husband if something happened. Just have to be smart about things. Get stuff written up and notarized and be prepared.
You can have love commitment and all the things just the same without a marriage. So to me it’s nothing special. As long as you love each other and are happy and faithful that’s all that matters. Our level of love or commitment didn’t change I was just able to jump him on the insurance and things as his name isn’t on my house and we were together when I bought it. He just moved in a few days after I did as my boyfriend.
Goldie hawn and Kurt Russell have been together not married for 30something years,raised her kids had a kid of thier own…its all about the kind of commitment you want,never go in saying…well if it doesn’t work out…married .un married…IT IS WORK!
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I feel the same way as you bf. I did get married but honestly it is just a piece of paper. Even after 12 years. I would still love my husband the same marriage or not.
It’s not just a piece of paper, it’s a commitment to each other. Not to mention all the legal aspects of it.
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I’d he really feels
That way, then get powers of attorney for medical,financial and legal matters, especially when it comes to the kids. Personally, I would never have children or buy a house with someone who doesn’t want to close the “single” door. If he can make such serious commitments with those things why not marriage? Cover your ass girl get those power of attorneys.
Me and my boyfriend have been together for going on 15 years and he feels the same way… He used to feel different but people changed their minds about things and honestly honestly I would like to get married but he means more to me than that piece of paper and the title…
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I think either you love each other and are committed or not. The only things he should think of is God forbid he needs decisions made about his end of life, his properties etc. If he’s set against it, definitely seek a lawyers aid to ensure the big things at those tough times in life are legally covered
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I won’t ever get married! To much bullshit if shit ever hits the fan. Been with my man for over a decade and we ain’t going no where. 3 kids a happy healthy loving home but you jus never kno what could happen in the future and I’m not willing to take that risk…. On anyone …. I don’t want half of his shit he don’t want half of mine. I’m on his will and work benefits if anything were to ever happen god forbid. I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me I love someone and stay committed.
Lol if it’s just a piece of paper then it shouldn’t be an issue for him… I mean piece of paper to make you happy sounds like a good deal. I’m such a pain 
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I would hope you gave your children your last name if you’re not married… so when you leave, they have your name not his.
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My boyfriend and I have been together for 15 years and we have 2 children together, we own a home, and my boyfriend thinks it just a piece of paper - and after years of being upset over us not being engaged and us not being married I have realized it is just a piece of paper, and more of a hassle than it’s worth if ever you need to get divorced. Would I still like to be married? Yes. But, I have everything i need aside from the same last name as my partner and kids. So if not being married is the route we are on then so be it. I would rather live in the now happy with what I have than to waste more time being upset over essentially, an overpriced piece of paper with a title. I can change my last name for less than the cost of a wedding. However - we have been together since middle school so take that how you will.
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No… there are legal rights that come with that piece of paper. I’d ask him if he’s willing to go to a lawyer then and set it up as though you had gotten married. For example if he dies and the house isn’t set up for his half to go to you upon his death his next of kin could force the sale of the home. They could come in and take all the things that are his. Or say he needs medical care and is unable to make his own decisions. You can be shut out of the whole process bc you are not his next of kin. His family could bar you from seeing him in the hospital, making any type decision for his services and keep you from the services. And that can happen with families that get along alright. And if he dies and bills are set in his name only too that’s gonna suck. What about your bank accounts? A lot of rights come with that piece of paper.
Also it brings up that maybe you guys don’t value the same things and if you are really ready to be tied down with big investments. It sounds like you two need to discuss things with professionals so you both can be in the same book…
You can be married without that piece of paper you have to pay for.
People for 1000 of years got married without that piece of paper…
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Ok here’s the thing it is just a pice of paper BUT that piece of paper gives you rights. Let’s say he was in hospital, the hospital can’t give you information (your not family legally). If he passes away you get NOTHING not even the house you just got and vice versa. Insurance you get nothing. His family can fight and you end up with nothing because YOU ARE NOT considered family. your being hurt is understandable but is it really a deal breaker.
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I feel marriage is far more of a permanent commitment and not just a piece of paper. We made vows before god and to some that doesn’t mean anything but to us it meant everything. I never wanted to be a gf forever I deserved the title of wife and he deserved the title of husband. Previous long term relationships I also felt marriage wasn’t important and that’s how I knew they were never the one, but I never questioned if I wanted to marry my husband. Too each their own but this was us, it was always gonna be us, but that piece of paper meant far far more then most can understand
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It’s more than paper it’s a written commitment of love to one another. It let’s everyone know that he’s committed to you and you’re committed to him.
It’s also legal authority to use his last name and as my husband and I just found out it legally gives you heir benefits upon death. My father in law wasn’t legally married and died his wife assumed everything went to her automatically Nope estate lawyer said she gets nothing unless my husband signs it over to her. He is the rightful heir. So there is that.
No your not you will get nothing if an emergency comes up and something happened your not family
Technically he’s right and it also gives him ownership over you. Literally, me and my husband got married anyways we were going into the army together. Wanted radiotherapy to get any benefits, found out I was pregnant instead. For some reason the military frowns on pregnant women going through not camp…
but yeah it’s just a piece of paper
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Have a symbolic ceremony. No paper involved. It’s a compromise.
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I guess it all depends on whether you believe in Gods law.
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" which do we need to make happy by getting married?" You… the answer is you…
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I am like your bf. I don’t want to get married. Ever. I also don’t want anymore children. (I already have 3.)
Everyone I know who lived together first, got married and then shit fell apart.
Right now, I’m single, but that is a conscious choice. I don’t have time for a relationship right now. My focus is on taking care of my children.
Marriage truly is just a piece of paper. I got married in 2016 and while I’m super happy that I’m married and I love my husband unconditionally, it has caused some problems with our financial situation. I make significantly more than he does and because he owes back child support (he has a son he didn’t even know about until he was like eight) it has messed up our taxes and we can’t get a house. It’s a nightmare…I LOVE being married but had I known then what I know now, I would’ve skipped the piece of paper and we would have just lived together and raised our daughter together to avoid all the financial issues. 

It is just a piece of paper to have the government involved in your marriage it used to mean more back in the day but now a days that’s all it is
Okay so is it a deal breaker to you? Because here’s the thing if it’s important to you like you really have your heart set on being married having a ceremony taking on his last name so forth and so on and he has no serious interest in it at all that’s going to cause a problem for you.
Now if it’s just a commitment ceremony that you’re looking for then have a commitment ceremony, I mean legally the way they have most things set up it’s not the same thing but if it’s okay with you and you’re just wanting some form of a serious commitment then that would be the way to go.
I mean you kind of have to figure out how important it is to you I mean if people say it’s just a piece of paper okay then why would a piece of paper bother you it’s no big deal to you then it’s a big deal to me then let’s just do it and get that piece of paper because it’ll give me peace of mind to say that hey is some stuff go south and you’re on life support and we’ve invested in the future together you know I have some kind of legal rights to things especially if you have children or you decide to have children I mean a lot of people say oh it’s just a piece of paper and technically yes it is but that piece of paper does a lot of things these days it covers a lot of things it provides a lot of things that are kind of essential for being a couple if you want the benefits that come with being involved with someone long-term as a life partner.
So if it’s just a piece of paper say okay well I would like to go to the courthouse and for us to get that piece of paper I’m sure that piece of paper is not going to bother you and if it’s that much of an issue it’s not about the piece of paper he just doesn’t want to be fully committed and has commitment issues and if that’s the case then you have to sit and you have to sort through your emotions on the whole subject. Are you willing to wait for him to decide that hey you know what this is in fact more than just a piece of paper I do want to commit to you I do want you to be my wife I do want you to take my last name so forth and so on or do you just swallow it like a rusty razor blade and be like okay it’s fine you know I’ll just be your girlfriend for the rest of my life like it’s no big deal and to some people it’s not a big deal I know couples that’s been together forever and they’ve never gotten married and they’re fine with that and if you can be fine with that I mean really fine with that. Then let it be have a commitment ceremony don’t need that piece of paper don’t need those rights you’re just committing yourself to each other emotionally.
Unless you’re religious it honestly is just a piece of paper. People say it’s a commitment to each other but that “commitment” doesn’t stop someone from breaking that vow. My boyfriend and I also have been together 5 years. We own our house (both of our names are on it), we have a son together, he has raised my daughter from a previous relationship like his own. We’re not religious so getting married isn’t going to change anything except my last name. Unless it is going to make a huge financial difference it really is just a piece of paper. Why do you need the government or a church to tell you in “sickness or health”? In a relationship that should be a given already. If they can’t be there for the hard times from the jump they don’t need to be there at all
If he views it as just a piece of paper being the legal side of things into conversation. I explained it to my fiancé as “if something were to happen to you tomorrow I would have absolutely no say in anything. No medical decisions, no financial decisions, no funeral arrangements. Literally nothing” and at that point he understood why it was such a big deal to me.
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“Marriage is just a piece of paper” well so is money and you get up and work hard everyday for it. I do not believe marriage is just a piece of paper, legally it has many benefits to you. I am totally against ultimatums but I feel that he also lied and led you to believe that he saw marriage in your future. I mean, you are purchasing a home and have children with him already. Why should he marry? Is it a marriage you want or a wedding? Because you two can go to a courthouse and do a small ceremony. He might just not want a wedding at this point. Y’all need to talk.
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It isn’t just a piece of paper when it comes to medical decisions and what happens to your property if something happens to one of you. So if he isn’t going to marry you then those other important documents need to be taken care of. Just FYI.
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My fiancé and I have been together almost 8 years, have a 4.5 year old and bought a house together two years ago. We haven’t gotten married for several reasons. To me it’s just a piece of paper. I mean yeah I’d love to all have the same last name, but I’d also love to keep mine and our kids health insurance and benefits. ESP because I’m a sahm. If/ when we get married it would just be a court house thing bc that’s all we both want. So I’m not missing out on a wedding or anything🤷🏻♀️
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Nope , if after two kids he should put a ring on it and make it legal.
Never ever get a house with someone unless your married! That little marriage paper can help you in the long run you’ll work harder to stay together and make it work. If for some reason it doesn’t work you got a leg to stand on
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My husband and I have been together for 11 years. Married for six with a 4.5 year old. We only got married so I could go on his insurance. We probably never would have if he didn’t get a government job
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My husband and I thought the same and in a way yes it’s piece of paper. Honestly we have been living like a married couple and we were more respectful and courteous towards each other than some married people. We ended up just going over to the court and signing the piece of paper because we knew at the end of the day for insurance purposes we needed to make it legal so the kids could be under his insurance at work. As well as it also gives you peace of mind knowing that if something were to happen to you your partner has legal right of what kind of medical proceedings it should take place. I didn’t want something to happen and then him be stuck having to deal with my family making the decisions of my healthcare when he was in fact my life partner and the father of my kids. We both have amazing families but I had just heard so many horrible stories where that paper wasn’t signed and one person passes away and that person’s family decides to take their body or ashes back home and leaves that person just kind of out there with no ground to stand on.
I didn’t even change my last name until like way later… I think it was like 2 years and I would joke around saying “eh I’m still trying to decide if he’s the one before i change my name” lol
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Why buy the cow when the milk is free…
He can walk away right now and you get nothing …
Doesn’t sound like he s commited…
Yeah now everything is good .
BUT…people change…
Good luck .
Remember : if you love it , put a ring in it .
Just my opinion .
Married 27 years
Two children born after We were married …
No free milk on this farm.
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Truly that’s what it is. It’s so easy to get into and so hard and expensive to get out of. I agree with an a ove comment about just having a symbolic ceremony. No papers.
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I’ll be honest and say I totally agree with him. I was married in 1989 but I was a practicing Catholic then and the religious aspect was very important to me then. I’m not religious now and honestly can’t see the point in marriage. Now that so many marriages end in divorce (mine included) and people move on to other relationships it just seems unnecessary. My daughter is getting married in November (non religious ceremony) and the £20,000 they’re spending on it just makes me ill. That money could be used for so much more than one day and some nice photographs.
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Say to him “that piece of paper is important to me and the kids”…
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I’ll admit I felt this way… my wife and I were together for 10 years before we got married and honestly now that I’m her husband it’s like I got a job I never thought about and now I love it. Second best job to being a dad!
If y’all live together for seven years you’ll be considered married
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It is just a piece of paper - you don’t need to get married just to show your love for someone.
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Time for counseling. This is actually more serious than you think. What happens to your family if the worst happens?? As a legally married couple, you have recourse. Also taxes are better. This has a big red flag rising. You two REALLY need to talk.
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He’s not willing to commit to you. Yes marriage comes with a piece of paper, but it is much more than that little piece of paper. you make a vow before God. It also had legal aspects. Plus, it is something that you want, so if it’s just a piece of paper to him, what’s the harm in having the ceremony to make you happy. Think on that for a moment.
If it is ‘just a piece of paper’ then it should be no big deal, right?
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My parents were together almost 20 years before my mother passed away and were never married.
Get married before getting the house for financial security
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If a man wants to marry he will period.
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It’s not just a piece of paper. It protects the investment of the relationship and so much more
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That piece of paper made life hell for me and unfortunately still husband even after 4.5 years of separation. We had a great relationship until that piece of paper came along….
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I think the exact same tbh, always said I won’t marry if you love them why do you need paper to prove it?
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I was with my ex 6 years told me he wanted to marry me then one day I got upset and he said just a piece of paper and I was crushed and now we aren’t together and who im with now makes me happy and he said he sees it as paper but he wants me to be his wife and he knows it wouldn’t only make him happy but me also.
I can understand where your boyfriend is coming from because my boyfriend has said this as well and I honestly agree. He said the marriage license is just a piece of paper it don’t show you how much love you have for the person you love.
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My hubby was the same. Until one day he understood it was more and here we are