Tell him to do them ,He lives there too
My husband helped PERIOD. He didn’t have to ask he just did
Ummm hubby must help…Period!
Throw the whole man away.
Sounds like HE may be jealous!
Fuck the “many women do it without help” argument. I’ve been doing it without help for 9 years (3 kids) and while I’ve done it, I would love some help. Where tf is this village people speak of? Having a carrier helped to start with. It gets a little more manageable as they get older you just need the time to adjust. Don’t let him get to you.
Tell him to go pound salt
Tell him to do the dishes…
My heart hurts for you! That’s too much pressure and burden to carry. He is bing a jerk!
He’s being a lazy piece of… You need to stand up for your self or tell him you hit the high way
Dad needs to get up and go do those dishes and act like a man. You didn’t get that baby on your own he helped, so now he can help youb while your are healing and watching after the baby. To bad he didn’t grow up before he had a child
Hes 50 percent of that baby, he needs to man up. My husband didnt. I did everything for 3 kids and worked. Hes not my husband any more.
LEAVE HIM. He sounds horrible.
Also momma if you can you should take a full 6 weeks minimum. Do not stretch yourself too thin, and please please keep a look out for signs of PPD
I’d be ditching his sorry ass! He’s no man he’s a boy x so sorry you’re going through this
He would be gone so fast he would need to put in a whiplash claim!
Tell him to… Never mind
My husband got up at night, fed our babies, cleaned the house, and did anything else that was needed without me even asking. We switched off. You aren’t the only parent. Tell that man to get off his butt and scrub those dishes.
Is his arms broke that he can’t do dishes? He helped to make the baby too. Just because he’s a man doesn’t eliminate his duty as a husband and father. It should be 50/50. However you just gave birth. He should want to help you. He’s a jerk. I’d refuse to do anything at all. I’d focus on healing and the baby. And he should be helping with the baby to give you nap times.
Just here to say your husband is a piece of shit and you deserve better
He doesn’t know what he is talking about. Buy paper plates. Why didn’t he do the dishes ? And anything that needs to be done. He’s a looser and narcissistic .
Take him the bottle of dish soap and ask him to point out where it states you must have a vagina to operate the product…
I’m sorry but your husband is a POS!
He can get off his ass and help or he can quit bitching…
He isnt no husband hes a coward that needs to grow the hell up and fast
Eww… throw the whole man out. This isn’t the 1950s.
Sure, lots of women manage new babies without help… BY SETTING PRIORITIES THAT DON’T ALWAYS INCLUDE WASHING DISHES!
Seriously, I get so angry at stories like this. Not only does the primary child care (typically) fall to moms as well as the household responsibilities but somehow we are made to feel inadequate if we can’t “keep up” with it.
I don’t know how to get it across to those who cause moms to feel that way. Not only are we dealing with a new little person who we are completely responsible for, we are dealing with lack of sleep, the hormonal changes AND our bodies just went through a major “trauma” after 40 weeks of carrying a new life in us.
Mom of 5 here… first husband was one of those people who expected a picture perfect house and dinner on the table because I was home on maternity leave (as if it’s vacation!). Second husband was the complete opposite… he couldn’t do enough and was the reasonable and reassuring voice in my ear when I beat myself up for “not being able to keep up”. I say this because I have no advice on how to get your husband to see reality. For the life of me, I don’t understand how some people don’t get it. If your husband just had a 7+ pound “growth” removed from his body and was discharged 24-48 hours later, he would expect time to rest and recover!
But your question was about how to handle these first few weeks/months and trying to “take care of everything” and how other moms handled it. So here’s what I learned from my experience…
- Make your care a priority. You are not going to be able to keep up with anything for any length of time if you are physically run down. You NEED proper nutrition to fuel your body which is recovering from carrying a baby and giving birth. If the choice is making yourself a sandwich or washing the dishes- EAT THE SANDWICH. Same thing with sleep. Get it when you can and if the choice is making the bed or taking a nap- the nap needs to win.
- Get paper plates/utensils. I hated the idea of this myself but it was worth picking up some paper goods at the dollar store to have one less chore in front of me. I was lucky that husband #2 would actually come home and do the dishes but so many years of husband #1 actually caused me to have anxiety about dirty dishes that I had a very hard time with a full sink so your example hits home
- Prioritize “chores”. You will need clean clothes but the dust isn’t going anywhere
- When possible, use delivery services to cut down on errands. Some grocery stores offer free/reduced delivery charges during certain time periods and Amazon can be a lifesaver for some essentials
- MOST IMPORTANT- cut yourself some slack- please! I do know that is harder with the expectations of someone who gets mad because you didn’t get to the dishes. I didn’t have social media (thank God!) when I had babies but I am sure that can’t help if you are already feeling inadequate but try to shut off the negative reinforcements because reality is that most new moms are not keeping a perfect house, taking care of themselves and new baby.
When you are feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, etc., just look at your daughter. You brought this beautiful life into the world. You have already done good!
It takes 2 to make a baby and until he can push a baby out his hole tell him to fuck off. He needs to me a man and help out. Sounds like to me he is showing his true self to u. Put your foot down.
I’d throw out the whole man. What the hell? You can’t have 6 weeks to recover from birthing a whole human being? He should be doing his portion of the damn housework even before.
A real partner would be letting you bond with the baby and taking some time off to help get you what you need.
My husband wouldn’t say some shit like that to me even now let alone after birthing one of our children.
I usually did chores when the baby is/ was sleeping I have a 3 year old and a full time job now and I tell him all the time of you are unhappy do it yourself or leave I’m not your mother , your maid I’m your wife. Some days everything is done and everyone is happy others the tornado came through in the few hours we were home before he got home. Tough shit life is about balance if he don’t like it n if he’s that mad leave
Your husband is being an ass! Even without a newborn in the home anymore, theyve all grown up to be kidsauruses, my man would NEVER give me a hard time if i didnt get to the dishes. He would do them for me to help me out. I worked until due dates with all 3 of my pregnancies and went back to work after about 3-4 weeks as well.
Youll only be able to put up with that treatment for so long. And if thats the type of person he is all the time, ill pray for you and your baby.
I’m currently due with baby number 3.
I need to have c sections because of something with my pelvic bones.
My husband took off work for a couple weeks both times to stay home and help me, and when he went back to work, he made sure he gave me a break when he got home so I could relax, shower, eat, etc.
unfortunately my husband passed away almost 2 years ago.
My current partner understands what I expect, and will need after the birth of this baby. He plans on being home for 6 weeks, so he can help with my other daughters, and bond with his baby.
Honestly girl, get you a new husband, if this one can’t understand how hard your body worked to get baby here, and how exhausting it is being a new mom. Get back up from family members who won’t mind helping you.
He is sick in his head. I HATE HIM
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Yeah fuck him. Big red flag right there.