There are resources out there to help you get on your feet right now and after the baby. Please don’t stay with someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries and breaks your trust constantly. If you’re unhappy, you baby will see and feel that growing up. You are strong. You are brave. You can do this!
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Find a therapist. You will feel much better about yourself.
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He will only continue to disrespect you and abuse the situation because he knows you depend on him and obviously feel more for him than he does for you. You need to take steps to become independent so you can take care of yourself and your child. That is the priority here, not him or the “relationship”. Staying in a toxic relationship with the father won’t give your child a “complete” home. 
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Cheating is not a mistake, it’s a choice and they always think they won’t get caught. Once a cheater always one. Once that trust is broken forget it. Don’t settle for less. Someone out there will treat you with much more respect. Ditch the dude.
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U need to leave him.
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I would look into assistance and get a place of your own so you don’t feel dependent on him. After that try to figure out your feelings for him, but don’t make that decision when you feel like it’s your only one to make.
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He is going to cheat, regardless of what you say - this is obvious. You have to decide if his love for u is enough or if you need him to be monogamous as well. If u need monogamy then you need to leave him bc you will never get that
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So…I’m gonna be blunt. Co-dependency is a bitch and the sooner you deal with that, the better off you and your baby are going to be. A repeat offender cheater will not change! Talk to your mom, talk to human services, talk to SOMEONE, but you do NOT need to stay just because he is the father. There are options out there to help you, especially being a pregnant, single mom.
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Choice is yours,your want to baby to have his/ her dad or you want to be stress free from a guy like him,
They have places for young women like yourself. Like a womens shelter. It wouldnt be ideal but they can help you get on your feet so you dont have to live in an environment where you are surely at the least disrespected and treated like you dont matter. Sorry you dont have family to count on, lots of us do not in our extreme times of need, but their are some safety nets in place. Please utilize them. Best wishes for you and baby
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As a man that has been unfaithful in the past, two years isn’t a mistake. It was a long deliberate choice, and he’ll never look at you the way you deserve. You deserve better.
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Sounds like you’re in for a life of sadness and depression if you stay with him.
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You also don’t have to have the baby.
You could be in for a lifetime of heartache and struggle.
It’s a difficult decision but it is a choice.
If he won’t let you look at his phone and you are completely dependent on him then don’t have his baby.
Leave and move on.
He may turn on you, call you a bad mother and then try to take the kids from you with the help of his family.
Read other posts where this has happened.
He has taken advantage of your vulnerability.
You need to get your own life together.
He is not interested in having a family.
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I know everybody has a story. but you really need to work on your self-esteem no woman deserves to be cheated on no child deserves to have a father who treats their mother that way. You need to leave and then if he wants to be in his child’s life he will change if not trust me it’s better to grow up without a father that is a terrible role model then to have a shitty one in his life. Every state has resources for single mothers reach out to them find your true self worth and better your life for you and your child.
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Your having a baby and you are full of hormones that will make you crazy!!! The thought of staying with him is crazy, but the thought of leaving your child without a father is even crazier! Remember that your child has a dad and a mom that will love him, but regardless of the situation if he chooses to be a father will be up to him! You don’t have to choose now on what to do with your relationship! Seek assistance on your living situation! You can go to a shelter or with friends or even rent a room!
It’s been way too long and done it too many times. Forgive him for yourself and your child. That doesn’t mean go back to him. Forgive him to relieve the anger and hurt that you have for him. Try and have a relationship with him that only consists of the child but I wouldn’t have anything else to do with him. Forgive not forget.
Can you handle that he comes home to you but needs the attention of others? Will he accept therapy to admit he has a problem? Some people are literally incapable of monogamy so you need either accept him as is or move on
No he will never stop this. He keeps doing it. Leave now before that baby is born.
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Sadly, he will always cheat, leave him.
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You don’t need him you may think you do but thats your toxic codependency speaking. There’s +60 comments here and most said what I’m thinking.
Have you considered maybe you are repeating the same cycle as your mom? You say your mom only cared about her bf, it seems to me you are doing the saaame exact thing as your mom. Prioritizing having a “complete” home, and staying in a relationship that involves cheating. Instead of putting yourself and YOUR needs first and of your baby. Your baby will prefer you to be happy and single vs being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you and makes you feel unhappy. Trust me, I’ve been there I was a kid who had a broken home. My mom thought I needed a complete family jn order to be happy well guess what? I just wanted peace, and for my mom to stop dating dumbasses and to just stay single. Because when we were alone she wasnt crying over some fool who cheated on her. Your mom probably started out the same way you did now, staying in a shitty relationship where only she put in the effort.
He will always cheat, everyone is telling you to leave him. The issue here is you probably wont leave him bc you are in denial. You’ve been in denial for 2 years it seems. 
Open your eyes and snap out of it bc whatever we tell you will go in one ear and out the other. You have to realize this for YOURSELF.
And thats the point here. YOU.
You matter.
You have to believe in yourself. Believe you can be happy on your own. Believe you can be a wonderful loving and happy single mother. You are worthy of so many good things in life. You can break this cycle.
No one is going to save you, only you can get yourself out of this.
Otherwise you will spend the rest of you life in an unsatisfying relationship. And life is too short to be with someone you doesnt value your time and effort.
Also, I would suggest finding a really good therapist.
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You’ll love him till you don’t. All that love your giving to him you need to give to yourself and that child but untill then good luck
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Ive been in this situation and trust me. It doesn’t work out and you are better off. Your baby deserves a happy mother. You can do it on your own. You dont need him! It wont be easy but it will be worth it in the end!
Best of luck to you! Stay strong! 
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Quit being an enabler ! He will not change and you and your child will be miserable , in the meantime you will keep making excuses for him!
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You are so young, don’t waste your life with that scum bag. Real love exists, and baby that ain’t it… NEXT!!!
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He will never take you seriously.
Get out, your baby doesnt a need a dad who doesnt respect its mother
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You stay it will continue! You’ve already made it clear to him it was okay to cheat by staying so he won’t stop! I’d leave baby or not it’s a toxic relationship and you’ll always be unhappy. Your baby can still have their father in their life without you being in a relationship with him.
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Okay number one leave - go to a womans shelter friends house anywhere really grab some things that are important to you not everything as he doesn’t need to know ypur permanently leaving things could get ugly make it seem like your only going away for a weekend and get away
live in your car if you must i did it or even stay at the local fire department for help it sounds crazy but they have beds and showers if you help with stuff around the inside
If you want there is always opting out for adoption the hospital will take care of that if its your choice
I was pregnant when i left my childs dad he did the exact same you’re going through i stayed in my car then moved into the fire department while i worked on finding me a better job and place nothing is wrong with not staying with baby dad and he does not have to sign anything if you do not want him too which is also what i did
My son is now 6 we live with my now fiance who is not his dad but he can adopt my son as his own without any issues since the fathers side is completely blank makes it easy on courthouse when you do get with someone else
Its hard to leave and it sucks doing it on your own but its so worth it because you will be happier in the end
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Don’t stay together for the kids… You’re going to be miserable if you stay because chances are, he won’t change.
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Put your big girl pants on move out , I find it next level weird living with some one when your not together this is clinger business , hold your own he will continue to keep doing this if you don’t put the boundary’s in place now respect your self more if he wants to be a partner and hood dad make him prove it and this will take months years but living with him isn’t healthy if your not together just leads to you going back continuously
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Walk away, stay away.
This is a long story about someone you know to be a cheat, and he has no intention of ever changing.
Leave and make a better life for yourself.
It’s more important for your child to grow up in a stable loving environment than for them to grow up with a dad who cheats on their mother. That’s not okay. And you definitely don’t need to raise your child in an environment like that!
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I understand that it’s hard for you to leave, but can you not get in the mind frame that it’s definitely over for you both while still being under the same roof as him? And mabye save some money up while your there? Even if it’s enough to get you to a friends for a while if you can? It’s going to be so much harder to leave once the baby comes of leaving is what you want to do.
I completely understand you love him and he was once your safe place but he broke that the day he broke your trust, I think you know deep down that you shouldn’t be with him no matter how much you love him. I know I would much rather my child be happy with separated parents that keeping together coz you didn’t like growing up with out a dad. That wound t be fair to the child coz it sounds like it could be a messy ugly relationship. There are places out there that could provide refuge I think.
How are you with his parents?
I have 3 kids with a man i spent 9 years with who didnt spend those 9 years with just me either, trust me HE WONT CHANGE. Run, get on section 8, state aid will help until youre on youre feet and you can get off of it if you want. There are resources for you!
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Leave him. That’s all. I’m sorry it happened. You will find much much better 
someone who truly loves you.
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Can you get into some school? Or even just a part time job to try and save up some money? I’ve been in your situation (minus a pregnancy) so I know it’s hard to just walk away but he doesn’t seem like the type who’s going to stop and you definitely don’t want your child growing up thinking that’s what a relationship is. It’ll just cause issues in the long run for everyone.
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Leave! There are programs that will help you find a place to live /A job / Daycare etc. Just don’t tell him you are getting help to get the F@$! Out of there. Everyone is right he can give you or your baby a STD that may not be fixed with medication. I understand he has helped you in difficult times but he has you in a situation that he thinks you will never leave because he knows what you have been through that is Controlling… Just tell DSS you need to get out of that house immediately even lie if you have to To receive help…
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Move on save up move as soon as u can. Sometimes it’s better 2 do it alone than be around parents who are toxic 4 each other. It isn’t healthy for anyone involved. A players gonna play until he’s ready 2 leave the game. Yall are young and it sounds like he ain’t ready 2 settle. You will be fine and when the right guy comes along u will know it.
Time to go to a women’s shelter where they can help you get a job and get on your feet. Dont stay with him. Once a cheater always a cheater. You need to rebuild your life for you and your baby.
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Never gonna change been there done that. Take your kid and go now. It only gets worse from here
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once a cheater always a cheater . go to a shelter . they will help you get things together . /
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Time for you to get out before he destroys you. Your still young you can bounce back. Your wasting your time with him.
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Wow. For a second I thought I typed this 
same exact story almost to a T
You need to walk away from him and have your own life. People dont change
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I’m sorry to be reading this, I really am. A very similar story to myself. People will tell you to get up and leave but I guarantee they aren’t or haven’t been in your situation.
But you are very young and have your whole life ahead of you, you can’t stay in a relationship for the baby sakes it will only damage the baby and really is not fair. I’m sure there is lots of help out there that will help you start somewhere if you do decide to move on, but you need to focus on your health and your baby right now.
Hope you are okay x
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My mom was the same way, not wanting to have myself or my brother grow up without a dad, because like you, she also didn’t have one growing up. I’m 22 now and still wish she would’ve let us not know him sometimes. We have an okay relationship now that I’m an adult and not living anywhere near him, but he caused a lot of issues that have been a terrible staple in mine and my brother’s lives and for that reason, we aren’t close, and i treat him like that uncle you only see once a year at family functions. That’s a “hey, how you doing, have a good one!”
You’re child doesn’t need a father in the home to make baby’s life complete. They just need love. If you’re not happy, baby won’t be either. Good luck! Being cheated on absolutely sucks!
Go stay with a girlfriend.
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Don’t stay just because you’re having his kid. You’ll regret it and it’ll only get worse, not only will you suffer heartbreak but so will your kid. It wont be a happy family. Leave now. Dont look back.
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Girl get gone…he ain’t gonna change think about the environment ur bringing that child into…it won’t be healthy…u won’t b mentally healthy for that child unless u leave and focus on u and the child
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Trust me your child is better with you alone than in a complete home with a distraught mother and cheating father, you will damage your child if you stay
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How is that baby going to have a complete home with a runaround dad that neither of you can depend on? What part of that is wholesome to anybody?
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Get your own place and leave that dude alone, as long as you stay with him he’s going to cheat because he knows your not going to do nothing. Get you a place and leave when he’s off doing whatever. Let him come home to nothing
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You can’t have a complete, normal happy home with a cheater. Leave, find your inner strength and go. Turn to God for answers and depend on your heavenly father for guidance. Get into a good church and raise your child right!
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I think by asking you already know the answer, is this situation a healthy situation to raise a child…Get out while you can with your child,
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This young woman made a big mistake give the baby up for adoption so the baby can have a intake family and move on. It will be the best gift to this baby and her peace of mind. If she can find a family that can accept her even better.
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Never
Take it from someone that had it happen multiple times
And to honest the saying once a cheater always a cheater is true
But even if it wasn’t your mental health will never be the same
Even if they are really working late, go somewhere without you and lose phone service ect you will always second guess them
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Find the strength in you to leave. Bad things are sometimes a blessing in disguise. Leave don’t settle for anything less
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As someone who grew up in a not “complete” home to begin with (the man that raised me did go on to adopt me and we became complete), trust me when I say that NOT being with that man will be so much more fulfilling, happy, healthy, and complete for that baby than staying with him ever will be.
Someone will come into both of your lives and step up and raise that child with you and you will be complete, but you already know staying with him is a bad idea. You’re not happy there. Not truly. Who could be? Your child will know that. Will see that. Will learn that. He will be the example set for your son if you have one on how that’s okay to treat women the way he’s treating you. If you have a daughter that will be her example on what love is suppose to look like. You don’t want that for either of the two options 
From my own experience, the showering you with love and trying to win you back stops the second they feel like they did win you back. It’s a cycle. And it sucks
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Cut the cord and save your soul. Your well-being is worth more. You also can’t move onto better staying in this relationship.
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I must be the the only guy on this page since I seem to be the only one that ever answers. Anyway from my male aspect. I am in my 40’s. When men are alone men talk, they love to brag. Especially about conquests. It’s like hunting. They want their bag limit to be maxed out and higher than everyone else’s. Men I never thought would be unfaithful are the sometimes the worst cheaters. I can assure u. If they cheat on you they don’t respect you. Once that line has been crossed they will do it again and again. That goes for women too but especially men. It’s like anything you do in life. Once you’ve done it. It’s not that big of an issue in your mind. If he’s done it to you once and you take him back he thinks you are weak and will continue knowing that you will again take him back if begs. Get out now, it WILL continue. It might be years from now but it will. It sucks to hear the truth but get out while you’re young. Don’t go 20 years like I did and have to start over. Even though I now have my soulmate I’d much rather met her a long time ago. Your self worth is greater than that. Acceptance of his ways just puts you down every day. It will eat at your mind. And will make you ill In many ways.
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Girl, for starters, cheating is NEVER OKAY! There’s no reason anyone, man or woman, should feel like they’re not good enough. Also, if you becoming pregnant wasn’t enough for him to get his shit together & act right, then nothing will ever stop him. He continues to do it because you allow his behavior to be accepted by him apologizing and “promising” to change. I know from experience not one cheater has ever changed. Please for the sake of your mental stability & your baby, get out as soon as possible. There are so many programs through your county assistance office that can help! PLEASE please please take care of yourself! 
praying for you mama!
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He obviously isn’t changing his ways and is only telling you what you want to hear so you stay. I’ve given multiple guys second (if not more) chances and all except one have actually shown any change or movement forward. I’m sorry about your situation but your better off figuring it out on your own. If he’s a good dad he will be in the babies life even if y’all aren’t together. It may seem impossible to be on your own but both you and your baby will be better off on your own
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Run. He sounds like a narcissistic. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. He’ll use his kids to further his lies. You most likely don’t know half of the stuff he’s doing if he’s that sneaky. There’s almost no help for them. You’ll be happier in the long run
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too bad you never learned from your mom’s mistakes…guess she was too busy to teach you how NOT to be so dependent on another person…male or female…now you will be bringing a little person into this world that will be totally dependent on you…so sad…
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Two years is a long time to be cheating and obviously not feel guilty enough to stop. Sadly it seems you are the only one that has wanted a “real” relationship…he seems to be playing house with you while playing the field anytime he wants! I feel you are only torturing yourself staying with him AND his family. You want him to be yours but he’s not. As far as your baby it can still have a relationship with the dad regardless of y’all being together(unless he’s a deadbeat at that too) I suggest you find an extended family member or a friend stay to with…get this figured out have your baby and then get on your feet…stop depending on him or his family for your needs. You’re going to be a mom…that baby needs a mom that has her best interest at heart. Maybe at some point you two may figure things out but he shoud be not your priority.
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Getting a job while pregnant is hard to do. I know boys at 20 think they are studs and want to use it all the time. ( From experience and my son) It takes a special, and matured man to be faithful at 20 years old. I know you cannot change it. And he will regret you and the baby leaving. Until you can go to a relative or friend’s house to get on your feet you are stuck. Noone? I see some boys that age become faithful after baby comes because they do not want to lose you or their child. Can you trust him again? Is there drugs or alcohol involved? Have the baby and know you must get educated or land a very good job to support yourself and the baby, asap. I have done it when baby was 1 week old, my son’s baby mama did it, 6 months after baby was born. Making a plan using 3 month or 6 month goals and not showing him your weakness for him will make you strong, don’t be a “B” Just do it. Good Luck.
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You need to move on. Go to DHS they can help you since you are pregnant. The cheating will not stop. Focus on your child Best wishes. I am praying for you and your baby.
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Youre gonna do what you want despite any advice given. But, here’s mine. You said your mental health isn’t at its best. Having a child is hard and takes a toll on mental health. With that said I would do yourself and your child a favor and move on. You and that baby are more important than a complete family. You’ll most likely feel a lot better once you leave and the healing process begins. Best of luck
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This is why women should have a job and their own money…
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I personally wouldn’t be able to. Cheating, verbal and physical abuse as well as narcissistic and controlling behavior are red lines for me. You deserve better. I wouldn’t settle for this dude.
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Your self worth is much greater than this! Your child will learn from what he/she is brought up in!! It’s not just one mistake, what he is doing is selfish and he is only thinking of himself!! Remember, a mistake is once, anything other than that is a choice!!
A Child needs a Happy Home to grow up with good mental health that doesn’t always includ aFather or mother but it definitely needs a Happy parent for good Mental Health, Unfortunately it’s not just you your making your decision for
2yrs is too long for him to be cheating and he hasn’t changed yet and he probably won’t. Check into a local shelter for pregnant women and they should be able to help you get back on your feet. Good luck and congrats
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A one parent household is better than an unhappy, no trust relationship. Build your home for you and your child.
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Start over. You deserve better. What you are not changing, you are allowing. You can only control one person and that’s you. You might be afraid of change but you are unhappy with the current situation. You are denying yourself a chance to be happy if you stay.
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You can and will get over it - it sucks, but life goes on and you can too.
Look into public assistance and housing,wic,foodstamps,you are going to have to grow up fast and co parent now it wont be easy
One breath at a time move forward. Forget him- not worth it.
Yes as long as it’s not repetitive cheating and y’all both learn how to grown and mature from it.
Get help for yourself and the baby, counseling, you don’t want to be with someone like him, you will regret it
You knew this abs could not use birth control ?
You can move on but it never goes away!
Hard to read. Get some counseling. Seriously, talk to a professional. Lots to sort out before you become a mother. Not sure you’re ready for that right now. Good luck to you.
A complete home isn’t better than a broken home.
Get out while you can.
Honey…they never change. If you can live it that’s up to you…but it will never change. Trust me I fell for the I will change line also.
While you can get past infidelity-I don’t think you can get past this level of disrespect.
Once a cheater, always a cheater…leave him. You deserve so much better.
NO absolutely NO you can NOT get over cheating! It’s always gonna be in the back of your mind, and you shouldn’t allow it to “be okay” to start with! You can still be a complete family and you and dad not be together! 1) you don’t have to be a 2 parent household for you to have a complete family 2) the father can still be apart of babes life and while not being a part of yours. Stop staying with men just bc you have a child/ren together, bc in the end it no trust, resentment,etc you have for him, will only hurt your baby in the end.
You baby deserves a complete home with a man that knows how to be a father and a husband. You deserve better. Move on. Get out of that toxic relationship. All you are teaching your child by staying is thst abuse is ok. Biology does not make a man a father.
People can change but it requires a lot of work. If you want to try and make it work then I’d look for couples counseling because that’s the only thing that’s really going to help with the healing and learning to trust again and it will be a long hard process and having a baby will make it harder but it can be done as long as he’s willing to put in the work.
he knows your reliant on him. you’re stuck with him unless you can out
Get over it? Definitely. Give another chance (or multiple chances)? NEVER.
Get rid of him and that baby if it’s not too late
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Easier said than done. If he cheats once, odds are he’ll cheat again. Walk away now.
Oh no. Cut your losses. Cry it out but move on
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No I would never ever tolerate it again
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If you haven’t already, go to your local social services department and apply for government low income housing. Or look around your area at apartments or houses that do low income.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Can you get over cheating? - Mamas Uncut
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There’s no point in staying just to keep a “family” together. Don’t torture yourself through that, been there done that as I grew up without a complete family that’s all I wanted for my child. Not worth making excuses for another person 
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Your first mistake is depending on him and his family. I’m about to give you some tough love, you ready?
Sorry you’ve had a rough life and have mental health issues. But the world doesn’t stop turning. BE INDEPENDENT. Pull yourself up by your boot straps and march forward. Don’t be that useless ass female who stays “for the kids”. You deserve so much more than that. Take advantage! Get you a job and when you have enough money saved, LEAVE. He isn’t going to stop cheating and he’ll never respect you. Show your child what a strong woman you can be! If you stay, you’ll never get over it. You’re always going to have trust issues and again, YOU DESERVE MORE THAN THAT! YOU have the power to turn this situation to your benefit! Play the game, don’t let it play you!
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