Do NOT do it. I was 18 and pregnant and dealing with a cheating bf and a lot of other similar shit. It did NOT get better. It would have been a lot better if I had stayed split up back then. Instead I wasted another half a dozen years being mostly unhappy. It’s NOT worth it. If he wants to be a parent, he still will no matter what. You won’t be able to control whether he steps up or not. Do yourself and your unborn child a favor and do what you can to move out on your own.
Try and find a way to move out! I personally wouldn’t stay if mine was cheating on me like that… adopt ur baby if u don’t want to have a baby yet… u deserve better
Once a cheat always a cheat
You’re wasting your time…
You need to get yourself together instead of depending on some one else not heathy
That’s you if you want to put up with that but why ask people what to do when you know yourself you are going to do what you want to do but once a cheater always a cheater it will never stop so do as you are going to put up with it or leave to many places to help women out there to say I can’t afford it
Don’t care if you’re having a kid with him, LEAVE
Why would you want to get over it? Why not leave him and find someone better. Once a cheater always a cheater
Once a cheater always a cheater!
I firmly believe that. The more you call them out on it the better they get at hiding their indiscretions.
Get out on your own if you can, because you don’t want a miserable life of him always cheating.
Hon, you are repeating the patterned relationship you have with your mother with your bf. she continuously chose men over you and now you are…get away from men and love yourself. Then once you’ve figured out that you deserve to be treated well because you are intrinsically valuable…hop back in. Not til then.
You need to start figuring out how to leave before the baby is here. Go get on wic and they can help you maybe to find a home
Yes you can it takes time and major effort on both sides you have to heal first then work on your relationship with him.
If he really wants to win you back he will stop cheating, and wait till marriage for have sexual relationship with you! And that’s 1 yr after the baby is born! Don’t let him trick you back into your pants.
If he really done cheating he will wait and not fuse or complain about it
Forgiveness is also and healing!! Just cause you forgive doesn’t mean you stay.
Once the baby gets here the cheating will get worse.
No. Don’t waste anymore of your life with someone like that.
Don’t use the child as an excuse move on he’ll keep doing as long as you stay . By staying your giving him the ok to keep cheating on you because he knows he can and you won’t leave
BE the change you want to see for yourself and your baby. Know your worth and accept no less!!
Sign up and put applications in for housing… if you’re basically homeless then your case may be given priority… apply for foodstamps and whatever benefits may be available to you… apply for ccis to help or possibly even completely cover childcare cost and look for a job if you don’t already have one… there is help out there to get you out of the situation so you’re only as stuck as you allow yourself to be
Youre picking him over a healthy safe environment for your child. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree in your case. There is no getting over it. You need to learn to love yourself and move forward in life without him.
A cheating man will always be a cheating man and you will be hurt even more in the end of you don’t leave now. If you stay you’ll always have trust issues and make you go crazy.
I won’t say no and I won’t say yes. I’ll tell you what I wish I did though… Leave, find a way out. Till then don’t sleep in a bed with him. I understand wanting to have a family for your baby… sometimes you have to realize that maybe the family you would have could actually be toxic for baby. I went through this and staying made me stress so bad I almost lost my baby and myself we were life flighted to Denver at 21 weeks I delivered at 35 thankfully. While I was there the father of our child was very lost he was a junkie (reason I was always stressed he kept relapsing) and cheated on me “1 time” with my supposed to be “best friend” I found out it was actually for 2 months since she moved in to “help me with my pregnancy” I knew and they denied it so I buried the feeling of it. a year in a half into my sons life on Easter I found out we lived together I had no money and though he was a great man and father and today my fiancé and I love him more than ever and we do amazing now… I wish I would have left just to take the time to mentally and emotionally heal and deal. We broke up and I slept on a couch for 3 months in the living room. However even after he changed and proved I noticed It still bothered me and I still thought about it. he has never stepped out again, he is open and hides nothing he sober for 3 years now. Yes you can move on from it but if you don’t take the time to heal and have him prove to you he ready to grow up it will never work. When I started to realize this I took a 2 week trip without him to family. our relationship got way better. You can’t forgive if you don’t give yourself the time and space to you just keep replaying it in your head over and over. If he really loves you and wants to change he will prove and show babe. Actions speak way louder than words. I hope this helps I’m so sorry. Love light and positive vibes your way blessed be hun
You don’t have to live with him
I was the just about the same way when I was this age… I stayed with him for 20 years bc I honestly thought he would change, that things would better. I thought if I didn’t know about it then it wasn’t a big deal now. I left 3 years ago and since then I have had so much that I have had to learn about being my own self. I relied on someone else to make me happy, to be my happy place. Not realizing that I was allowing someone else in a relationship to tear me down and fuel my depression and anxiety strictly bc I loved him. I have learned after counseling and struggling with myself that that was just me adding to my own depression. I still and probablt always will struggle now with allowing someone to be close to me or fully trusting another person when it comes to being in a relationship. I have also learned that someone that wants you and only you will say no to others and think about you when someone tries to “sext or talk” to them. I can’t tell you what to do but honey RUN! Learn about what you want without someone else trying to break you even when you don’t think they are. He knows what he’s doing. He thinks you won’t leave or thst he can do whatverr and you will forgive bc you have given him that power. No one deserves to be treated that way. Especially you. You only have one life. Don’t settle for someone that puts you second or third when you are too busy trying to always put them first in your life. Make you first. I wish you luck
Have you thought about giving the baby up for adoption?
If it was me I’d move on but still let him see the baby. The baby can’t help if his dad is a cheater he still would need both parents but you don’t have to live together or be together to do that for y’all’s baby.
Check into your nearest women’s shelter. They will help you with housing and prenatal care until you can get on your feet.
Sweetie, repeat after me… “I deserve better”!! You need to repeat it until you believe it!! There are resources out there that will help you my when you are ready. You have to take the first step!! If you have any doubt… continue to read this post again.
Girl you’re 18 you haven’t even lived yet …
Don’t ever ignore red flags or blatant disrespect
Why would you even want to get over it? Move on
It’s better to raise a child as a single mother than in an unhappy home.
Never ignore the behavior, get away before it destroys you. When you’re child is born this type of situation will teach them to also except the abuse and the cheating like it is normal.
Leave. Find somewhere to go. Things will fall into place. NEVER FEEL STUCK
From someone with the same experience you are going thru, I was sons father 6 years we were married for almost 3 off those 6 years. When we separated it wasn’t because of his cheating, but after we separated everything came to light, even tho I knew of several he had cheated on me with it wasn’t until after we split up that it all came to light how many other women their was, and some that were supposed to be my “friends” as well, all of his friends knew what he was doing and no one said anything to me about it. We haven’t been together for 7 years, it’s taken a long time for me to move on and live life happily… my advice to you would be from experience is for you to let him go… he will not change no matter how hard you try. But also you are worth more than the crap he’s putting you threw and you don’t deserve it, be strong
It doesn’t change. Ever. Please run. I was you, looking for the one person to tell me to stay , among hundreds saying to leave. We know what we’re talking about, and the longer it goes on, the more unforgivable things happen. The more you accept, the more you trauma bond and the harder it is to leave. You’re 18, so I have a deep feeling you will stay. Because we’re naïve and hopeful when we’re young. Just know that when you do, you are asking for more
I’m sorry to tell you, but it has been over from day 1, Leave & see a therapist because you are so much more & better than him & your mother
No matter how hard to you try… You will never be able to trust him like you used to. But… From my experience… Most men cheat. Hopefully that’s NOT true for everyone though. And I’m sorry that that happened to you bc honestly… Nobody deserves to be cheated on.
And congrats on your baby. No matter what… He/she is a blessing❤️
You need to leave him, he will never change…
You might want to look at the pattern you might beginning in relationship. Don’t pick men who do not put you first. That what your mom did to you. Get some help to sort it out.
Leave. It won’t change.
You’ll never get over it… it will always be in the back of your mind… He won’t change. Leave now!
Your so young girl. Take a break and let your heart heal and find a real man later on. Dont waste these fun years on someone who doesnt deserve your heart. Listen to alllll of these people responding to you, you will thank us later!!
Once a cheater…always a cheater…obviously he doesn’t respect you as he’s been doing this constantly…make a plan…leave…there is plenty of help out there…
Leave him. Why is he bragging about this,is he trying to hurt you. I would throw his clothes out,change my locks and kick his no good ass out. You cab bet,he’s not all that…
Leave and collect that sweet daddy dollar!
Yo answer your original question you can’t ever “get over it”. Even if you forgive them deep down you’ll always have trust issues because of them and insecurities will get worse. Just leave
He’s a kid and not ready to commit and you have a baby to think of you gotta get out of there and grow up for the sake of the kid
He’s 20 you’re 18 so he was with you when he was 18 and you were 16? Sorta a clue right there sorry.
You absolutely can leave him and not stay there. Girl use your local and state resources. Apply for housing, apply for food and medical if you don’t have it already, state help also usually helps woth daycare so you can work and build the life you want for you and your baby. You’re only stuck if you give up Stabd up for yourself and don’t stand for being treated less than you deserve, because hunny you are worth fighting for yourself. Stand strong and believe in yourself!
No. Leave the r/ship. Trust factor is GONE. ((HUGS))
Youre so young …I know its hard to leave when you love someone and its devastating when they disappoint but you can move on. What sort of life is your baby going to have stuck in that situation ? Leave for them if not yourself. Respect yourself more than he ever has.
i won’t tell you it’s easy but its possible.
Forget men for the moment. Concentrate on yourself and your baby. Start finding out what help you can get with benifits/housing etc. Claim everything you’re entitled to without feeling guilty…youre time will come to pay it back through taxes and helping others.
Get yourself settled somewhere safe before your baby arrives . Good luck
Start saving money that you can, get a part time or full time Job… move into a small little efficiency and move forward girl! Promise you it’s the best choice you will make and you will be happy again.
I was in a simular situation took along time for me to get up and leave… I did best thing ever for me and my kidlets. U need to leave
First, therapy. Secondly, it’s okay for your child to have a “broken home” when the life at home isn’t healthy. Your relationship with him will show your child what’s acceptable from a partner as they grow up. No one wants to see their child go down the path they did. Break the cycle mama. Apply for HUD/income based housing, and go from there. But Therapy is key. Breaking that cycle is key. Good luck mama
Once a cheater always a cheater. FAH!!!
Relationships aren’t worth committing to at your age right now anyway. Focus on you. Work towards your goals and you will find someone better for you along the way.
Also, adoption is a wonderful thing to consider.
Nope. You can try, you can convince yourself, but there will always be that anxiety lingering in the back of your mind and in your heart that’ll keep you prisoner no matter how much they’ve ‘‘changed’’. He hasnt just cheated with one, but multiple girls. C’mon chicky, have some self worth and self respect because he sure doesnt have any for you. You NEED therapy. This will help you SO much and you are far too young to waste your years on this fool. Your pregnancy is irrelevant. He can still be a father to his child without you two being together. ‘‘Complete’’ families are only complete if BOTH parents are on board with the family. He is not.
Try finding some help and leave that relationship
Personally it isn’t the cheating that hurts. It’s the fact they lied so much. That is the hard part. Will you ever be able to trust it isn’t happening anymore? If you can’t trust 100 again you both will be miserable.
It sounds like you could use a support system. Look up Embrace Grace to see if there’s one in your area. They help women in tough situations navigate pregnancy.
Do not stay with a man who puts your life and his babies life at risk. He doesn’t love you nor does he respect you. You don’t love him you just love the idea of him and a family. Get into therapy so you stop as much of the dysfunction before it affects your child. And staying with dad to have a complete family will affect your child in very negative ways.
Sweetheart, if he’s been cheating the whole time…. It’s extremely doubtful that’ll he’ll change. Even if he did, would you ever trust him? You deserve better. As Dr. Phil says. It’s better for a child to be from a broken home, than to live in a broken home. (I know this to be true as I grew up with a single mother) Get yourself a job and save and get out. Seek assistance if you have to.
Do your self a favor and quit holding on to the idea of a “complete” family. He gave up that opportunity through his infidelity.
Don’t spend your life in misery chasing a pipe dream.
I was in this EXACT situation same age and everything. He never changed, I had two children by him. I eventually smartened up and left him. After 10 years he finally grew up and stopped acting childish and tried to come back to me but I was already completely out of love with him after all that time🤷🏻♀️ I really hope yours turns out different but almost always, once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater!
I’m sorry that he has done that to you I have been through similar wit my husband of 15 years and it broke my heart and I look at him with such sorrow I never cheated or even thought about it but I can’t forgive him but I did leave him and I’m much happier without him now it gets easier when u let them go
Girl leave that house. I had the same mentality as you. I stayed with my ex who cheated the whole 8 years we were together. I kept taking him back cause of his sweet talk and he would do everything possible to keep me ans then once he had me back boom he’d start all over again. He even fathered another child and still tried to make it work. But one thing is for sure I never forgot what he did. We would have sex and that would be the only thing on my mind. I tried to stay because of the kids and because I had an old mentality of keeping the family together no matter what. Well the day I left is the day I was able to breathe. Yes it was hard but it gets better. Kids are with their dad every 2 weeks and he comes to most events. Just because you aren’t with him doesn’t mean he won’t be in the baby’s life unless he’s a Dead beat dad. Good luck xx
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Can you get over cheating? - Mamas Uncut
Walk away…trust me…I lived with a serial cheater for 5 years… worst mistake I ever made.
Some probably can but once it’s done to me that’s it.
Leave because he could catch something and give it to you or your baby. It will be hard to forgive him trust me your relationship will never be the same. He will do it again and again
Let go and walk away u deserve way better and so does your child
Oh my gosh girl, RUN! I lived this for 17 years. I stayed and stayed, even married him and had 2 kids. My best advice is a cheater never changes much like a leopard and its spots. You are worth more and so is your baby. This will only end badly if you stay. I promise you, life does get better and there is a great soulmate out there for you. I had to pull myself out of a horrible divorce with my cheating ex, but found and married the love of my life, who treats my kids as his own. Good luck on your journey. I do not wish a situation like this on my worst enemy! I will be praying for you!
Leave and don’t look back he isn’t going to change, it would be different if it was 1, maybe 2 times very far apart and things but he held actual relationships with other women and he basically never stopped acting single since he was cheating the day after y’all decided to become exclusive that’s just who he is and you need to RUN
Girl, run. Get out now. I married a cheater thinking things would change and he was serious this time. All that did was cause myself heartache because he never quit cheating just tried getting sneakier. I left his ass not even 2 years later after having out second daughter and catching him again. Leave now.
Who ever laughs at these posts is a pos and shouldn’t be in this group
Once a cheater always a cheater get out while you can… get onto housing executive and get your name down for a house… they can even help you with a deposit for a private rent explain your pregnant and not with partner anymore and living in his parents house but you need to move out…
Get enrolled in school. Nursing school, etc. Depend on him and his family to support you during this time. Act like everything is fine. Graduate, get a job and move the F out!
Walk away. You both deserve better. It sounds like he took advantage of your mental health as it is. He can still be an active father if your separated. Someone that supposedly loves you wouldn’t hurt you over, and over like that. There are programs out there to help you get on your feet. Not to be harsh but you definitely don’t HAVE to live with him your choosing too.
Cheating really isn’t something I can get over even if they want to work it out there’s still that trust issue there
Can you forgive cheating? Yes. Can you move forward? Sometimes. Consistent cheating and from the beginning? No, there’s no foundation and no loyalty. Walk away from that one.
Your “complete home” is going to damage that child for life. You are young & totally going to use this baby as an excuse to stay with a serial cheater. I wish your baby all of the luck in the world, it will be born into dysfunction & that’s really sad because it has no control over this. You do. You will regret staying with him one day. Trust me.
Everybody is telling her to get out and leave but if you read her story,she clearly states she has no money or family to depend on…so instead of telling her to leave maybe we can offer her some positive options otherwise she will be a homeless young pregnan girl,yes we all know she has to get out of this relationship,it’s not healthy for her especially in her condition …I hope someone that knows her can point her in the right programs to help her out
Get the hell out of that relationship. He will always be unfaithful
Cheaters never change nor do they acknowledge the damage done to the person they cheated on.
It’s gonna hurt but it’s also gonna hurt to keep finding that out
A child always knows when something isn’t right, even if it’s never talked about or explained. Never stay “for the sake of the child”. You’ll only make your child’s life more difficult and unhappy. A “complete” home can be just you and your baby, or if you find true happiness with someone else who loves you and your baby. Hopefully the baby’s father will continue to be in his or her life, and if he chooses not to be, then he’s a POS. My son only knows his parents as separate, he’s never known us together, and he’s a happier child for it. I promise you, if I stayed with his dad, all we would do is argue. We don’t agree on anything. He’s also a narcissist. Breaking up with him and then sticking to that decision when I found out that I was pregnant was the best decision I ever made. Go to the WIC office, food stamps, and see about a place to stay. See if any of those agencies have advice or can lead you in the right direction. Best of luck
My opinion is leave because you don’t even have the foundation of an honest healthy relationship. He has been cheating from the beginning and for your entire relationship. That doesn’t change. Never stay just because you have a child. It is harder on the child in the long run. Your baby isn’t here yet so they won’t go through the trauma of the two of you going separate ways. The baby won’t know any different and then you open yourself to meeting someone who treats you right and is a good example to your child. Don’t forget that you teach people how to treat you and staying just tells him that he can do what he wants and you won’t leave because you are pregnant.
There is nothing to save or move forward from. Your relationship was built on a Rocky foundation and has been slowly sinking from the beginning. The fact that it has been that long shows he has never respected you. I have also lived this like the many other women who commented and most of the time it never changes they just find better ways to try and hide it. He only feels guilty when he’s caught but not enough to stop hurting you. You need to walk away. You cannot allow yourself to be treated this way any longer.
Ask yourself what advice you would give a friend asking this same question or if it was your daughter coming to you for advice?
You may keep forgiving but I can tell you 100% you will never forget.
It’s possible if both parties put in the effort it is NOT one sided and I recommend therapy
I feel for you so much. Trust all the women here who are telling you it will never stop. He has proven how he will treat you. It’s not worth all the stress and heartache.
Married couples go through counseling for years to get past cheating and it takes so much effort on both parts. Your guy doesn’t want to do the bare minimum.
As far as what you should do. Look into all programs near you for assistance. Housing, food, childcare, work. Resources are out there but you have to apply for whatever you can. Play it cool with him until you can pull the trigger and get out.
You’ve already wasted 2 years with a cheater. If you stay, how many more years are you willing to waste? Because that’s what they will be. He’s shown you who he is, and proven he can’t be faithful. Your child will never have a complete family with a man like that as a role model. Know your worth.
That’s a big fat NO for me once a cheater always a cheater
Counciling will help you
You don’t. You leave.
This page is really starting to disgust me. I’d like to see advice from the GROWN women on here that laugh at situations like these. So fucking insensitive.
Am I reading this right - Things were already bad, then they got even worse so THEN you decided to move in with him?! I’m sorry but cheaters, especially one like he is, will never ever change. It’s an impulse they cannot control. I know you want a “complete” family for your child but you will only end up damaging him or her in the end if you stay. And there is NOTHING wrong with being a single mom!
You can get food stamps & rental assistance. Get yourself established & get out. Baby can still have dad (custody agreement & child support through the state) but will not be happy if you are together & having these issues.
You’re young. Get out now. Two years is way too long for him to pull that crap. No excuse! Get your mental health taken care of and get on your feet. Never depend on anybody.
Sorry but u can’t have ur cake and eat it too. Not in ur best interest to stay living in this situation. Talk to ur mom. Maybe because ur expecting she may be different and have some compassion. But u’ll grow up fast now. Worry about u and the baby
I know you feel trapped but you need to move out for your sake and your babies. Look for help. You’d be surprised who would help if they knew your situation. Friends, current or past coworkers. The help is temporary, your sanity is forever.
I’m sorry but having a “complete” family isn’t worth putting up with his crap. He doesn’t respect you. He hurts you and he knows he’s doing it. It’s just as abusive if not more than where u came from. Leave so your child has a chance at a happy mom and a good life.