He still won’t let you see his phone means he is still cheating. Take your time, get your metaphorical ducks lined up, move out and use this painful lesson to find a better partner in the future. Your child can still have his dad in his life. Maybe eventually even an awesome bonus dad. But this…. This isn’t you’re happy ending.
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You should find an organization that helps young mothers get on their feet. You need to try and stop depending on his family and make a plan for yourself and your baby. It won’t be easy.
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He is NOT going to change.Get out now.
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Welcome to narcissism 101. You need to drop the liar who disrespects you and always will. I know that’s hard because you suffer from trauma (it’s sounding like the trauma of abandonment and I am not enough) Seek a counsellor and make yourself strong again…
This kind of thing never ends well and making other people the cornerstone for our own mental health is never a good idea.
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Wake up. You’re 18. You are just starting life. You are going to set the precedent for the rest of your life now.
Leave him. If he wants to be apart of the baby’s life, good. But if you stay, you aren’t doing anything to help yourself or your child. Find someone you can move in with. Not another man. Focus on getting yourself independent.
You cannot complain about being a doormat if your going to let him walk all over you.
Understand this- he. Will. Never. Change. Period.
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A couple can absolutely overcome infidelity, your situation is not one of those times. The constant disrespect that comes with repeated cheating should always be “game over”. You and your child deserve better.
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The best thing you can do right now, is make yourself and your baby #1. Put 100% of the focus on to that. Don’t think about the what if’s. He will try to win you back because that is a sense of power and control he has over you. He knows how much you love him and good guy or not (cheating set aside) he knows he can mess up and mess up big almost without consequences. Maybe in the future that will change, but you need to do the right thing for YOU and end it. And build your life with your child. I understand it’s hard to leave the support system, look for other resources to help you with your mental struggles. And also to help you get on your feet. In the long run the stress of staying will effect you, and it will affect baby.
This sucks no doubt but you could have this whole life wonderful waiting for you, you just have to open that door and take the chance.
I know the feeling. But it does get better. My husband and I have been married 6 years 2 kids later. And he was very unfaithful with 4 women that I know of. But I took revenge and was unfaithful to him with 1 person after I had found out to show him how it feels lol. We have both gone through hell but stuck it through and eventually we had 2 kids together. I still don’t trust him fully but he allows me to have his phone now whenever I want so I know what he’s up to … It takes a lot of courage, patience, god, praying and communication between us to get to a stable place for our children. Nothing will bring us back to how we use to be but we stick it through for our kids because regardless of his mistakes and mine we still have love for each other even though that love will never be as strong again. But we are working on it.
I’m so sorry you have to go through this but my suggestion is that you move out and do better for yourself and your precious unborn baby and try to co-parent. I’ve been through something similar (not the cheating part but the part where the relationship wasn’t working out). I moved out my oldest sons dad back to his mom’s when I was 3 months pregnant with my oldest and since then him and I both have realized that we’re better off friends and co-parent better that way for the sake of our son rather than staying in a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere. I really hope things get better for you and your unborn
Cheat on him! It’s funny how men just can’t take a women cheating but they are ok when they do it! Move along! You have the best years of your life ahead do t worry about a duck that doesn’t care about you!
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Don’t torture your self or your child just to keep a family I made that mistake too and it made me sooo unhappy which reflected on my child, now I broke up with my sons dad he still sees him and I’m happier then ever, please for your own well being and sanity leave! You deserve so much more! Xx
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Girl go to a women shelter or stay with a friend to help you. He won’t stop cheating at all and it seems he wants to keep you but have other women as well. Move on and love yourself to know your self worth. You and your baby deserves the best. Don’t stay in a toxic relationship. Im sorry this happen to you but please move on to better things.
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I’ve been in that situation and the best decision I’ve ever made was to leave he knows you have no one else to turn to so therefore you wont leave him thats why he continues to do the shit he’s doing… If you really want the help try looking up this program called “restored hope” its ran by pastor sam and his wife they will help you, house you and all its a year long but they will help you get on your feet, help find a job, and even help you find an apartment at the end
Don’t stay in a relationship just for the child. Children can tell when something isn’t right. If you are miserable then that child will be miserable. Speaking from experience from when I was that child.
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Kee your dignity and don’t cheat. Do what you need to help you and the baby survive. There are programs with health an welfare that could help you too. Use them as a stepping stone to help yourself. Good luck and God bless!
Run as fast as you can… You will find someone that will love you enough to NEVER do this to you… You are too young to waste any more time, you deserve only the very best!
We don’t heal by hurting others. We heal from within. Forgiving him is key to successfully moving on. Absolutely do not have to stay with him because of your pregnancy. You can coparent in a healthy effective way if you give yourself the time do the inner work to heal. You will be so much stronger 
in the end. 
sending all the good things 
the universe has to offer
Get out of there. A baby deserves a happy home. A happy home IS a complete home. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
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You don’t get over it. You can say you’re over it but it can literally effect every romantic relationship or even every relationship you have from there on out. If he wanted to change he would have. Never be some one’s second choice. Ever.
I’m sorry love - there is no reason to try to keep your family as 1. You will end up being so miserable when all in all you and your unborn baby deserves happiness. Trust me - I know.
I’m sorry you are going through this.
One of the lessons in life that I learnt the hard way was that I’d rather my children be in a seperate home than an unhappy home. You are 18, you are young and this relationship is not what love is. Someone who loves you would not treat you that way.
You are worth more than that and your child deserves more than that.
From my experience, if you stay, it is a very lonely broken road.
You can do it on your own and you will be okay
Run . You will be okay I promise there is someone out there that will love you AND your baby unconditionally baggage and all. There are many social assistance programs available in any city to help remove you from an abusive toxic relationship and place you somewhere that will be conducive to your child’s future and your mental health.
Unfortunately out children see waaay more than we want them to or think they are capable of. Our children grow and learn from their environment. You may someday find a man who is more of a man and father to you and your child. Don’t settle, if he wants to see his baby let him, your child will have a father, but fathers are not just the sperm donars.
Please don’t bring a baby up thinking this life is normal… your setting standards for your children so either going to bring a little girl up thinking been screwed over by a male is acceptable if a boy believing this sort of life is standard 🥲
He sounds like trash and you deserve better. You can do it. Do it for your baby would you rather your baby grow up with a shit dad or no dad? Or you can find a real man to be their dad.
When a person shows who who they are, believe them the 1st time. He’s done this several times. When what he says and what he says don’t match, believe what his behavior is showing you. He isn’t going to change. No matter how bad you want him to do right by you and love you, he won’t. Not unless he chooses to. He’s shown you he won’t.
Trust me your child will be much happier with a single happy mother than living in the situation you are in now. Do you want your child growing up and thinking that behavior is ok or acceptable? Get a job and apply for low income housing and foodstamps while you get on your feet
Go to women’s shelter they will help you during your pregnancy and find you a job and a home of your own get rid of him he knows you depend on him and his family so he will continue and as above show your child you are a strong women there are people whom will you get through this and just maybe you will find a better man who will treat you with respect and love your child you do not need a biological father or mother to make a family love and respect and honesty makes one to start with
Do you want you child to grow up learning that is an acceptable way to treat a partner? There is someone out there for you who will wake you up with breakfast in bed and cuddle you to sleep, don’t settle for a looser who is fucking around on you and not giving you his everything. For all you know he could have more then 1 kid on the way.
My opinion is once a cheat always a cheat and they tend to lie when they say, “It’ll never happen again”. The trust is gone, the suspicion will always remain. Get out when you can.
Leave. You’ll never forget it and clearly he doesn’t stop because you always stay so why should he have to? Trust me a single home is better than a toxic one- ask yourself - is this something I would want my son or daughter to allow someone to do? If no then don’t put them in the situation to think that’s normal- I know it’s scary and you feel like you can’t do it but you can- sure you could request to go thru a phone or share location but that’s just toxic and a relationship is nothing without out trust which he has broken- if you stay you’ll never get over him cheating because you’ll always be wondering
for me, hell no. no matter WHAT the case, for me, it’s a deal breaker. Disloyalty runs so deep. Everyone Ive ever met who cheated EVER, did it consistently, for their entire lives (just my experience). Id also always be looking behind my back and would have to FORCE myself to “trust” them.
If you have to ask then the answer is no “move on” Also if you have to ask then you’ve probably already made up your mind as a yes “you’re going to stay”
Please think about reaching out to domestic violence help. Because this is a toxic situation and sounds like you need help to get out. Is 211 a national help line?
Once a cheater always a cheater move on momma take care of you and your baby:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
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Nope. You can pretend but that distrust and that insecurity will always sit in the back of your head and it will randomly make itself known. You can be sitting doing nothing and just think about it and it ruin your whole day. It’ll cause issues in your relationship because that trust has been broken
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Move out and make him pay child support for you and the baby
I’m sorry ur going through this but u r going to have to give him something to miss if u think u want a future with him… Me personally being a child who grew up in that environment, do not do it to ur child… We have all been fed a lie our entire lives… Most people come from broken homes and we carry it on into our children’s lives and so forth because we are told that u need to raise a child in a home with both parents. This is just not realistic, and being fed from little girls that our prince charming is going to save us all, why do we need saving??? Men may be stronger physically but use women are a power house, never mind that child birth in itself is a miracle then comes the task of raising a baby, feedings, diapers, as the grow they develop personalities etc. Women have been raising children on their own for 100s of years and we will continue to do so cause we do what needs to be done. It’s hard to do but u know u have to do what u have too , to insure ur child is ur first priority
2 years?! Honey that wasn’t just cheating that was a whole nother life. No way. You’re better off without and way too young to be dealing with that in the first place.
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You can definitely get over your partner cheating… once you kick their ass to the curb and figure out that you don’t need ANYONE to be happy. To be honest, you’re still a child and you’ve got a LOT of learning to do and an entire world to discover. Once you realize that you’re much better off being alone and happy as opposed to being in a toxic relationship. Love yourself first and the rest will fall in place. I was in a relationship from Age 16 to 32 with the same toxic person. I’m now a single father and it’s soooooooo much better. No matter how many times they say they love you after they cheat… sadly they don’t even understand the meaning of the word. It’s up to you to decide how much more time you want to waste with that type of “love”.
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Having a child with him won’t make him loyal to you he is still the baby’s father no matter if you’re in a relationship with him or not for your own mental health go to a woman’s shelter or friends or other family and get on your feet
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Leave!!! He’s already cheated plenty & the fact he won’t let you see his phone is HUGE!!! LEAVE HIM!!! Having a child in a miserable home but with both parents is worse than you leaving! You love him but he doesn’t respect you! You’re his doormat!!! Leave & do not ever put yourself in the position of relying on a no good man ever again!! Good luck to you
Not really. You need to find happiness within yourself and on your own before you can be happy with someone else. Your partner is supposed to make life better NOT add to the misery 
Cut them loose and figure out who you are alone and what you want before you bring another person into your World. Life’s too short to be anything less than unhappy 
If he was really sorry , he’d let you see his phone. It’s that simple. If he really wanted to be with you and only you , he’d be willing to do anything including letting you look through his phone. If you cheat you lose some privacy so I don’t wanna hear about that
You have 2 choices. Stay or leave. What do you think the smart thing to do is?
Leave the cheating POS.
Take care of you and baby get away from that loser . Will not be a good life for you or your baby. Check around and see if you can get some kind of help and get a job. Good luck
Forget him. Just concentrate on you and your baby!!!
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Move on. You and the baby deserve much better. It’s not a good environment to raise your baby in.
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I never could forget
Contact DHS and get housing, job help, and daycare.
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Move on and leave that loser
Sounds like you need him more than he needs you. That’s never a good position to be in. You need to find a way to get out. For you. Not anyone else. You deserve better. Make yourself some goals to focus on. I’d start with first months rent and a security deposit on your own place. Then worry about what you need for baby’s arrival. Forget him. He’s a piece of shit. He can be in the child’s life, but not yours. He made that decision for you, multiple times over. You can’t compromise your health and baby’s inutero health for a guy that can’t ever be faithful. But you CAN stand up for yourself and your baby by refusing to be a doormat. A real man would do the right thing and not choose a fling over his girlfriend and his baby. Remember that.
Where do you live, maybe have a look for your area to see what help is available even contact housing and apply to get on there list you might be able to get priority since your pregnant and will have no where else to go. Also if in your area call a refugee like sister housing and ask for a case worker to help you, they can help with alot of things on your behalf… Good luck and I hope things get better. Just because your having his baby don’t think you have to stay specially if your not happy! You deserve so much more
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Kids can’t make people stay. I know you think that just because you have a child with someone that you 100% belong together and that it’s better for the child, but sometimes it’s an unrealistic fantasy. You need to do what is BEST and what is RIGHT for you and the baby. You’re very young, so I know it’s hard right now, but when you get older I think you’ll understand better. You’re child shouldn’t grow up in a toxic home. There are plenty of single parents that thrive and it is much better than your child being around someone like that. You don’t want your child growing up with that trauma or thinking that that kind of behavior is acceptable.
Having a “complete” family when the parents are toxic together is worse for a child than having split parents. And he is toxic because he’s constantly chasing women. Which is why he’s now chasing you… Because he doesn’t have you
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once a cheater always a cheater
He’s young. “Once a cheater always a cheater” is bullshit 
remember it’s only a problem if you make it one.
I won’t ever stay with a cheater/narcissists. I was with my son dad for 4 years on and off. Through pregnancy he would put me down, cheat on me, and the last 2 weeks of my pregnancy made me sleep on the floor. Then it eventually came the mental abuse and physical abuse against me. I had hoped he would change but never did. I’m now with someone who came into my life when i wasn’t expecting him to and i thought i had no chance with him. It has been completely different. He treats my son as his own. He is absolutely amazing. In March we have been together 2 years. We are expecting our 3rd kid in October. And how ive been treated and helped during this pregnancy shows big. Some “boys” just arent made for a serious relationship. You have to find the men. Those are the ones who are going to treat you well.
Once you Cheat it’s over, hard to trust again
There are lots of support programs and options for expectant mothers that need help. You don’t need him. Start making phone calls in your area and find resources for yourself. If your lying cheating baby daddy ever gets his life in order and you want to give him another chance at least you will be self sufficient and can decide out of want, not need.
His behavior is repetitive. The only way you can move on after cheating is to be completely open and honest, which includes no hiding/locking phones, no stepping outside to take calls, etc and moving on takes a lot of will power, but personally, I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I know that I deserve better. Just as you and your baby deserve better. A lot of people stay with their partner for the wrong reasons. I know you didn’t have a father in the home, but maybe that was for the best. Keep in mind, that if you “stay for your child” that child will grow up thinking love and relationship is what you have with your boyfriend. If you have a little boy, you don’t want him growing up thinking that it’s okay to treat women that way and if you have a little girl, you don’t want her growing up thinking she has to accept someone treating her that way. Sometimes, your kids, are the reason you should separate and there are plenty of resources available to young moms. Do some research in your area and see what you can apply for. Good Luck and move on with your life without him in it. You’d be doing you and your child a huge favor.
Is it really family atmosphere though if there is no trust? The child will grow up feeling the tension. Please don’t feel obligated to stay because of a child. If you’re happy, that child will be happy. And he can still have a relationship with the child even if you do leave.
A baby will not change a man. Try to stay with a friend for a while, and save up for a place. You can do this!
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You know you have to dump him for your own mental health
Those nightmare are PTSD over this and likely everything.
Trust me when I say having a child will not make anything better. You’re better off getting things straightened out to raise your child in a healthy happy home as a single mom. You are mega young. You don’t want to miss Mr. Right because you’re living with this douche.
Edit: You surely can get over cheating in a sense but that will only happen when he grow tf up and acts like a man. In reality, when you meet the “Right One” there will be none of that unfaithful crap because when you’re with someone you truly love and loves you equally, other people become undesirable.
Best of luck
Im sorry but you will not heal from this whilst you are with him… it will be eating away at you and you will have no trust in him. The fact that he will not let you look at his phone says it all. Hes still at it and not ready to change his behaviour if he ever does…
He knows you depend on him so that needs to stop. You need to get some income coming in. Then leave his ass. You don’t want your baby to see you being treated this way and think it’s ok just because you want them to have a "family ". He’s been cheating for two years and it’s not going to stop. It might for a little bit but once your guard is down he’ll do it again. Your baby deserves so much better.
Once a cheater always is so true. Get out of this one sided relationship. Your young don’t settle!! Have the life you deserve! Best of Luck for you n baby future.
You need to move on. And not have your baby in that type of relationship.
Oh me me me me me. Don’t stay with cheaters and getting pregnant was not wise. Bad choices.
Sweetheart, he’s proven he’s a cheater. I’m so sorry. But , seriously doubt he’ll change
Girl, the absolute best revenge you could get, is to heal and love yourself. Realize what you bring to to table, and don’t be afraid to eat alone… if you’re having a baby you can get assistance. It’s almost easier to get assistance if you don’t have a job anyways… and then after baby is born. File for child support. Get onto low income housing, foodstamps, medicaid, wic, everything get onto everything… at least apply anyways. It is very hard to move on from someone you have a baby with, but having someone’s baby is a shitty excuse to stay in an unhealthy relationship. Obviously your baby daddy is still very immature and isn’t ready to settle down… learn to be okay with that, learn to co parent, (easier said than done, but it is possible) put all that love you had for him into yourself. Bad bitch up and make silent moves on him… me personally the best “revenge” or whatever is letting them go and working on yourself. One day he’ll think "man I really fucked that up, she could have been mine " all of this is alot easier said than done trust me… I left my baby daddy in the beginning of August and I’m really really really struggling with it. But I also don’t think he’s the one for me. As much as i do love him. For me and myself I need him to be someone he’s not… I know what I bring to the table and I will eat alone. I also want my son to see that just because you have a child with someone does not mean you have to be with them… I mean ya I wish him and I could have made it work but it hasn’t worked and it’s been 7 years. I don’t think it’s going to work. I really hope you think about some of the stuff I’ve said and put all your time, effort, and love into yourself, and your child… that baby deserves to have a happy mama, not only that but there is a man out there who would kiss the ground you walk on… don’t settle for any less girl. A cheetahs spots never change. And the more you keep forgiving him the more he is telling himself he can get away with it. You don’t want your son to learn to be like that, and you don’t want your daughter to think that’s how a relationship is supposed to work… I hope you find peace and happiness girl:black_heart:
and realize that when you feel like you’ve been buried, you’ve really been planted. You can bloom if you put effort where it needs to be. God can only do so much for you babe. You need to do for yourself too:black_heart: best of luck to you. And If you’re still reading this, YOU GOT THIS! 100% It’s not easy, but it is possible.
Get a job and get out.