I don’t let my kids spend the night anywhere. Nope. When they are older like 16 I do, but not younger than that. Unless I’m already real comfortable with those parents, like they’ve known them for a long time.
She needs some independence
She’s much more likely to be abused by you, other family members, or close family friends than at a sleepover with friends
Thank God her friend’s parents don’t think like you or she would have no friends come over and hang out
Ley her go! She will be fine!
Uuuggghhhh I know how you feel. I’d make a deal with my kid. She can go to the swimming part but not the sleep over. I have way too much anxiety to let my kid go too
Can you pick her up from waterpark?
We don’t allow overnight stays for any reason. Too many sick people out there.
A lot of being a parent is being stressed TF out all so your kid can have fun. Give her a safety run down and send her off.
Don’t be the reason that she won’t get to enjoy that time with her friends. Don’t ruin her experience because you’re afraid. I had to let my daughter grow some independence this yr myself. It’s hard to trust anyone with your child’s life. But you won’t always be there for your child. They need independence. They need to learn who they are without their parents attached to them. Let her go. Meet the parents, drop her off yourself and pick her up at the Waterpark
If you trust where she is going, absolutely let her go. This is how our kids learn to live without us. Social skills, friends, and experiences cannot only happen at home. Life is not like that. The world goes beyond our front doors. It’s a wonderful world out there. Our kids need to experience it.
Not everyone in the world is bad. Just remember that
Unless she has given you reason to not trust her, let her go. If I’m understanding correctly it’s at a waterpark and should be adult supervised.
Yes bc take it from someone who had very stirct grandparents as a teenager. If you dont let her she WILL sneek out amd do whatever she wants eventually. She will be fine! I know its hard but your gonna have a rebellious child if you dont let her have some freedom.
My kids have stayed at friends houses a lot, it’s what kids in friendship groups do. My youngest (5th child) stayed at her best friend’s house (her Mum is my bestie) when she was 3 and it was the first sleepover she’d had! I’m sure you don’t want your daughter to be bullied because she’s never allowed to stay at a friend’s when all the rest would
I think this is one of those times you gotta let your chick jump out of the nest and try to fly situations. It’s hard, but it’s apart of parenthood.
Do you know the parents of her friend?? Are they trustworthy?? What kind if interactions have you had with them? if are uncomfortable because you dont know them or they did something inappropriate, then I understand your concern. Maybe you should get to know them, invite them over to your home for coffee or call them to ask if you can bring over something for them to enjoy like some cookies you made or something like that. Then you can see where they live and the environment their home is
My kids have been going to sleepovers since they like 8 or 9 I did het to know the parents and if they weren’t comfortable staying the night their I went and got them. Kids need some kind of freedom I would even make them go to a party at times. But I was never got to do anything as a kid like literally nothing so I let them 2 are adults now amd are fine and I have a 13 yr old that stays with his friends. Beside sometimes parents need breaks also have a date night or watch what you want on tv.
Send her to the water park and pick her up afterwards if you’re really that uncomfortable that way she can still go and have fun at the water park and return home safe to you or offer to go with her to the water park you can dress in plan clothes if you don’t feel comfortable in a swimsuit and just chaperone so that there are extra eyes and ears on all of the kiddos and then she can still go home with you either way you are her parent her protector you only get one of her so ultimately you do what you feel is right for you and your family because way too many kids go missing and their oblivious to it until it is them who gets snatched and she may not like the idea and give some attitude about it but just remind her that she’s the one of her that you have and you can’t have another her and remind her it’s your job as the parent to keep her safe and not be her best friend until she’s an adult raising her own family
At that age I went away with my friends family 4 hours away from home for a whole weekend I think for one night she will be ok.
Wow! She needs her space and independence. Let her have some fun. You stay overprotective and she will rebel!
Let her go. Kick back with a glass of wine and let her have her independence. She can’t be sheltered forever.
I was very protective of my kid’s. I found that I told them I was always on their side. Call me for any reason at all. I got a middle of the night call because the other girl wanted to sneak out. My daughter knew it was wrong an I went an got her. We had a code word that was used. I just showed up an said she had to come home. That way she was not embarrassed. If you trust you child to make good choices then give her the chance. It worked for us. I know times are different now. Praying for all mom’s.
Let her go! From my own experience as a teenager and not being able to go to the party and sleepovers left me out of invites to anything. It also made other teenagers not want to do anything with me because my parents were so strict I never got to do anything, so they stopped asking
Let her go and enjoy herself u keep her locked up in a house she will
Never want to leave and she will resent you for not letting her live her life
If you try to shelter her too much she will rebel.
Talk to the other mom and voice your concerns.
Let go! Your children need to learn things away from home. If you shelter her, her whole life she won’t be able to do things with out you.
It’s important to let children be children. They make mistakes to learn. That’s how we all learn.
Let her go. I’m sure parents are there right?
Get know parents and find out who all going and have her keep in touch but alienate from doing other kids house cuz u think u only teen hangout place isn’t exactly giving her chance explore away from home and whats cell phones for cuz when my son was 11 he felt uncomfortable stepmother to his friend was mean to boy had my son and stepson had go outside play but her kids inside on Playstation ( my son called ask i bring snacks drinks cuz thirsty hungry)and i went my son rescue and asked boys dad if ok if he can come bak my house and he said yes, so kids not dumb and can call on cells now
If parents trust their kids at your house, don’t u think u should extend the same trust (of course only if u feel u know them well enough). She will begin to resent u if u keep treating her like a baby & don’t trust either her or her friends parents
13 I would be fine with it. You can meet the parents at the party.
Talk to the parents and be more comfortable. I’d be more hesitant if she was younger but she is a teen now and will start doing more things like this. You don’t want her to miss out and have all her other friends go. I remember that feeling when all my friends would talk about how much fun they had and I was so disappointed. These are really formative years so I would let her go.
Let her go, but make sure she has access to a phone from YOUR home (if she has her phone, insist she takes it AND the charger AND that she tries to keep it charged AND the volume up unless they are somewhere like the movies where a phone going off would be inappropriate) that you have some code words she can use in either a call or a text to you, that she knows that she can call you IF she suddenly feels uncomfortable AT ALL or if something goes awry, send along a note with her insurance information to be put into HER wallet and kept with HER at all times IN CASE of an emergency (key word here is emergency: those are rarely predictable, even IF they are unlikely and given that in an EMERGENCY every second can count, making sure that they know that _____ from the party of the adults CAN make judgement calls UNTIL her or her father can get there, your number, her father’s number, any medical and food allergies if any, any medicines or supplements she takes regularly if any, etc CAN mean the difference between her being okay or not okay) have her link her cell’s GPS with yours AND make sure she knows that you WILL BE calling her at LEAST twice AND texting twice, that you want her to text you BEFORE she goes to sleep AND when she wakes up and of course, if anything happens/ goes wrong AND that with YOUR calls and texts, if she is UNABLE to answer you, you want a call or text back within five minutes or she had BETTER have a REALLY GOOD excuse for not doing so such as her phone was charging in the other room or she could not get excused from somewere TO answer it right away. You CAN send her and until you are comfortable with her being out of YOUR line of sight for however long, have rules to teach her responsibility, accountability and ALSO help YOU get over your newly mother of a teenager nerves. Good luck.
Let her go just get a number for the mum and text her to check in, your daughter doesn’t even have to know. X
Let her go. Talk to the parents hosting and voice your concerns. They are parents too and should understand where you are coming from. If you have an iPhone use that find my iPhone feature. And ask her to check in every so often. And sit her down and let her know how worried you are because she’s your baby and you love her. Yes these babies will never understand till they are parents themselves one day BUT letting them know will help them weigh their decisions when you aren’t around. And if you’ve already had the GIRL talk with her then all the better. She’ll be observant of her surroundings. Being a mom is stressful when it comes to our babies spreading their wings in the world. Even us parents will always be learning as we go.
They have these cool defense keychains. I know they’re not appropriate for school but I wouldn’t be above sending a responsible 13 year old with it to a sleep over or somewhere you’re unsure of. Make sure she has her phone charged and with her all night long. Gotta let the kid live but I’m a believer in being prepared and educated.
Let her go, she will remember this forever. If you did your best raising her show her you trust her and the decisions she’ll make.
You have to trust her mom until that trust is broken!! Does she have a phone, if she does, set up her location so you can keep an eye out where she is at all times!! You got this this mama!!
If I knew the parents I would have no problem with that
Let her go. She needs to learn some independence. Ask the parents if there will be supervision and if not maybe offer to help out. Bit don’t follow her around.
She will be safe am sure of it
I let my girl go, however I picked her up at 11pm… Idc who parents are their some parents are not safe and the fact is u just never know, so I compromised.
Talk to the parents and find out what is planned. Make sure she has a phone so she can call you to come and pick her up if she is not comfortable.
We don’t do sleepovers!
Oh goodness, she’s 13! Let her go!
I have really bad separation anxiety from my kids and I’m in exposure therapy for it (OCD treatment) where I have to take small steps to letting them be somewhere without me. It’s tough but it’s what’s best for them. Make sure she has what she needs and check in as much as you need to. Life is about experiences and we can’t keep them sheltered forever
Just talk to the friends mother first
Talk to the sponsoring parents, make sure there will be an adult with them at all times.
I went to sleepovers all through elementary school so from age 7 or 8 until I was 12 at friends houses some of the best times of my life and great memories. I say let her go have fun with her friends if u haven’t met the parents introduce urself to them and exchange phone numbers in case of an emergency and get the address of where she will be staying the night and of the Waterpark where they will be at it tends to ease some anxiety knowing these details. If she has a cellphone tell her to keep in touch with u or if u have a cellphone u can give her to use during this time. My mom always met the parents and she arranged with them that if at any point I felt homesick or wanted to come home then I could call home any time of night and get picked up if i wanted to go home. I got homesick one time when I was a kid and called home from friends house at like 1am but then after talking to my mom I felt better and I stayed the rest of the night until my mom came to pick me up the next day. Im sure ur daughter will have a great time and make great memories just make sure that u and the other girls parents are on the same page. Know address, phone number, their names first and last, being sure that there will be supervision which im sure that there will be. U can’t let ur anxiety shelter her from experiencing activities like this with friends it will be hard especially if she has never been away from home before but thats why u meet the parents and make arrangements for her to be able to call home if she is homesick or just wants to come home. Parents understand just make a plan with them just in case she wants to leave the sleepover early at any time.
Yep let her go.
Gotta remember it’s not about how you feel but about how she will feel.
Nope, it’s not worth the risk… trust your gut! Let her go to the water park - and give her a curfew - you pick her up at that time
I am just here to say that I DO NOT ENVY YOU RN. THANK GOD My kids and I made a deal that they will stop aging at 10, and stay that way forever!! Whew. Really dodged a bullet there!!! Heehee ----- GO WITH YOUR gut mama. Is she trust worthy? Are her friends trust worthy? Discuss your worries with her and maybe she can alleviate them! I understand wanting to protect her. The world is a scary place. Sending you sacred feminine strength to follow your intuition
It would’ve been a no for me. My daughter would’ve known not to ask. Unless I’m staying too.
Sleepovers are part of growing up. Please don’t let her miss out.
If you trust the parents, it should be fine.
Until I was a parent… I never imagined thinking I wouldn’t let my kids do something like this. I was ALWAYS gone for sleepovers and trips and with friends as a kid/teen. I always felt safe, too.
Today I’m also very apprehensive. You’re feelings are valid! Do you know/trust the parents? How many kids are going.
I’ve literally never shared this before but the one and only time I’ve ever been touched by someone unknown/inappropriately was at a water park when I was 13. An older man reached under the water in the lazy river and groped me.
I remember having to make an effort to stay away from him.
I’m not saying this will happen to your daughter. And I’m not saying I won’t let my kids have sleepovers (they’re still very young). I’m just saying fk all the haters and ones that are making it seem like you’re a crazy lady for feeling unsure.
Do you know the parent’s? If so, talk to the mom, make sure your daughter has a phone so that she can call you if needed, then let her go.Also make sure they have your number if needed and you have theirs
Till this day I can remember the fun I had with my friends at sleepovers.
Just talk to the parents
Talk to the adult supervising them. Your child should not have to be restricted because you have anxiety. I understand why you feel this way but don’t let your child miss out on their teen years with her friends.
Im the same way it’s rare my kids go to anyone’s house at all but if they do I get all info and talk to the parents and check in with my kids and the parents at night just to make sure they are where they supposed to be but I also gotta know the parents
You can’t hang on to them forever you realize that right? They aren’t babies anymore. In 5 years she’ll be able to move out and if you don’t let her have some freedoms she will.
For me , I would meet the parents if you haven’t already, maybe get her a cell phone so she can communicate with you whenever (if she doesn’t have one) , because I’m sure once my kids are teens they are going to want to stay at a friends etc and this is what I would do plus I would give the parents my number as well .
Just get to know the parents. 13 is well old enough for a sleepover. Plus if she has a phone you can have her call or face time you before she goes to sleep and when she wakes up.
I have a 15
Year old son who I don’t let go overnight unless it’s family or close friends. It would be a no for me. I would however, let him go and pick him up from the water park.
I don’t know how you all were raised and what happened…but I do know if you don’t let that child live now then when she’s 18+ instead of being ready for work or college she’s going to be doing all the shit you never let her do.
She should be ok for one night. It’s not like there’s no adult supervision… If you’re that worried, have her call and check in with you to make sure she’s ok every once in a while.
I’m seriously shocked at the comments I read. So many left comments belittling this mother, blaming her concerns on her (mom) calling mom selfish and so on. She came to us for advice on something most parents experience when their child hits the phase of socialization. Based on what is posted above, if it were me we’d have already been discussing safety, feeling uncomfortable or home sick and how to address that if they were staying over with someone and so on. If she knows the parents and family members who live there, this would give some peace of mind. We had a code word for when they weren’t feeling safe and one for when/if they wanted to come home for whatever their reason. Ours did not have cell phones at this age so we sent mine with them. My answer if this was my child would be to let her go, ensure that she knows she can text or call you no matter what time it is, no matter what the reason, no matter what, call or text us and we’d be right there. Our daughter can’t swim, she almost drown in her 3 year old swimming lessons and she never was able to do more than stay close to the side and walk around. As she got older she did gain some trust being in a pool, but again, did not know how to swim. There are so many factors that would have to be marked off when making the decision for us. Growing up our house was the house everyone gathered at, I stayed over with friends more so after 9th grade, I just felt more ready. My kids didn’t turn out to be stuck to my hip, unable to be independent, and so on. I won’t list off our family’s personal expectations and requests before they could stay over with someone because there are several and I’d likely be stoned to death by some of you. Wishing the “fan” all the best, always go with your gut feeling, and if she goes make sure you have the family’s address, their phone number, and what they’ll be doing from when you drop them off until you pick up.
This was me when my kids were younger my house was always full of teenagers,we always had 8 to 10 kids sleeping at our house,even on school nights,i even took a few in because there parents couldnt take care of them,and if we had to we put air matresses up every night in the frint room,i didnt like my kids away from home either, but ask your self,do you know and trust the parents,thats what you have to think about ,and then you will have your answer.
Let her go so will have so much fun we can’t protect them forever
You can go to the water park but I’m picking you up at 9pm.
It’s normal to not be ok with it. There are so many stories of kids getting touched or worse at sleepovers. If you feel you can trust the parents I would leave it up to your daughter, if she has a phone just have a code word for her to have you come pick you up if she’s feeling uncomfortable about anything.
My daughter goes to her friends house and she always wanted her friends to come over but their parents always makes excuses why they can’t come. So I stop my daughter from going to her friends house. Some parents have some serious trust issues. And think they’re are better than others. And that’s that
Let her go and make sure she has a phone if she wants to come home she can call you or anything happens she can call. You can even call her and check in if makes you feel better.
She’s a kid. Let her go. Meet the parents, make sure she knows that she can call or text you at anytime of the night. I have a 13yr old and as long as I know the parents she is allowed to go with them. You can’t shelter her forever no matter how much you want to.
Is she a good kid? Do you trust her? Has she done anything to betray you or your trust?
That’s a tough one. I was the same way
I go by the rules my parents did. I only stayed the night with people I know and trust. My oldest child is 8 and he is epileptic and autistic. Who ever watches him has to be comfortable with giving him his seizure meds and rescue medicine if he needs it. The only people my kids have stayed with are my parents, my cousin (she’s a trained EMT) and my best friend who’s a nurse. He’s gone to friends house before but not overnight. I don’t know if I am comfortable with that yet but my kids are 8 and 5. Some people aren’t comfortable with taking my oldest due to seizures without me there and I respect that. I would rather them tell me that and not risk my sons life due to them not being comfortable dealing with a seizure. If you are comfortable with the parents and trust them I’d say go for it. If it’s just your anxiety preventing her going, don’t do that to them. In 5 years they will be an adult. If you don’t let them have some independence and shelter them from everything, when they experience things on their own they will either harbor the anxiety you have and be fearful of being away from home or they will be the exact opposite and go wild and make not so wise choices. I had a friend who’s parents worried so much about her and hardly let her go and do things with her friends that when she went off to college she was petrified. She was so scared of sleeping away from home and she wound up dropping out of school and moving back home. Kids need time away from us parents.
She’s 13!! Let her go. Soon you will have more issues lol
I’m sure u raised a responsible young lady let her go and have fun !
This is so me I hate my kids staying away from home there 15,9 and 2 I like to know there safe and warm but my older 2 love having friends over and staying at friends! Sometimes we just have to let go a little. Trust me it does get easier
Offer to go help chaperone
Only one way to start trusting that she will be OK when she goes out and that’s by letting her go and setting fair safety rules to put you at ease.
Let her go, before she decides you’re a prude, she has a life to live too and it’s not yours, ijs, not being rude
You could go and get a hotel room at the water park so you’re not too far.
go with your gut mama
My daughter will say she wants to go. But about bedtime I will get the call. She is 12. She just doesn’t like sleeping over at other people’s houses.
I would have to know the parents well enough to be able to express my fears and concerns and rules with them. I would have to meet all parties that live at the house as well to catch vibes from. I always said no sleepovers for my daughter. Her friends can sleepover but I am not comfortable/trusting of anyone really. I have seen too many things happen with people that family members/friends trusted with their whole heart… Sometimes it’s people whom you would never expect to do the unthinkable.
However, my daughter goes to a private school and I have met some families that are awesome Christians that I am pretty sure I COULD feel my daughter is safe with. It would depend on the who, what, and where.
IF I didn’t know them well enough I would just allow her to go to the party but not the sleepover. Oh, how I dread the teenage years.
Let her be a kid. Meet the parents if you don’t know them. Make sure there will be parental supervision the entire time & that you have contact numbers for them. But please let her go.
Pick up at 11 p.m. still got to stay over late but not sleep over
Too young for overnight
I’d say yes to the water park but not to staying the night. All these people saying you can’t protect them forever you should certainly try to tho and you never know what goes on behind closed doors at anyone’s house besides your own. I personally only trust very few people with my kids so it would be a no from me unless I absolutely trusted this person/people
Heck no momma you’re doing the right thing she’s 13 and you shouldn’t trust people. I had something terrible happen to me about that age at a sleep over. He’s in prison now
If it is adult supervised, let her go. It sucks to have a mom that suffocates you. But I will add that at least you care. You are trying to be a good mom. But you have to have some confidence in your parenting skills and let go a little.
Seriously? Lol ! You sound like a 13 yr old also lol!
If parents are there, let her go!
Understand your concern, but you have to let go a little. I would discuss the overnight sleepover with the parents who are going to host the event.
I was never allowed to go out at all😥so it sucks but I understood why my parents would do it its a sucky world
But I would allow her with adult supervision since she’s still a kid
My dad was strict on sleep overs. He didn’t trust other parents. I can’t say I blame him. I say follow your gut. One day if your daughter has kids she’ll understand the anxiety being a mother entails.
Either chaperone or let her go to waterpark but not spend the night. Too many things can happen during sleep overs.
If I knew the parents and knew who was suppervizing said party and they were staying over aswell then yeah but if no adults were staying over then id say no
To the sleepover but yes to the party and drop her off for the party the next day x
How would you feel if you heard the teenagers coming to your house everyday say their parents said they don’t trust their 13 year olds at your house? If I knew the parents, there were going to be multiple other girls and it was a birthday party, I think 13 is definitely old enough to start practicing that responsibility
Too much going on in this world. Don’t feel like you can trust anyone anymore.