My sister decided to get married on my sons birthday....advice?

My sister is getting married in 4 months…she chose my sons birthday as her wedding date…I am supposed to be in her wedding but I am honestly ticked that she did this…my son is turning 13 and it’s a big deal to me…I simply cannot skip out on celebrating my child and I kinda feel like she did this on purpose…am I over reacting here?

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I’d have just switched his birthday around to another day or something like that. As long as he is celebrated I feel that’s all that matters

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I have 4 adult children plus their spouses , 2 granddaughters. We have something nearly every month. It’s too much . We’ve started combining things. My oldest sons bday is April so he shared his day with Easter. My second shared his with New Years . My mom and dil are Dec 20 and 24th then Christmas, we do theirs together. If a bday falls during the week we do party weekend before or after.
Picking a wedding date is hard and has so many factors with scheduling venues and vendors. Be happy for your sister, give her her day. Celebrate your son a bit early or later. Day of do a special bday breakfast??? Maybe have all the family involved?
My youngest son married weekend of father day , we did a huge Father’s day party day after wedding. So many options here. Best wishes!

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Life is too short. Don’t pick this to be mad about. When we have birthdays in our family, if it falls during the week, we have parties on the weekend. Don’t cause more drama than needs to be.

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Yes. You’re overreacting!

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Yes you are over reacting.

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Why would you assume she did it on purpose? Is that the type of relationship you have? I honestly wouldn’t care… my sons birthday is July 4th and I’ve never gotten mad at people for having other plans. We just do a party another day. I don’t think it’s a big deal at all

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My brother got married the day before my daughters birthday. They had their cake person make an extra cake and had everyone at the reception sing happy birthday to her. We just did her birthday stuff the following weekend. :woman_shrugging:

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Make his birthday party at her reception and let him invite his friends… Win Win😆

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My brother got married on me and my sisters birthday. We also share the day with a cousin. Honestly, it’s not that big of a deal. Just pick the weekend before, or after, to party it up with him and let it go. My sister and I use to switch off when we celebrated our birthdays. One would be the start of summer (our actual bday) and the other would do the end of summer (pre back to school bash). We liked having 2 pool/lake parties. Lol

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I’m sure you’re son will understand if he’s 13 and will be happy to do it the day before or day after?

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Do you!!! Skip the wedding do the birthday, and do it with no regrets or apologies…she’s known for 13.years it’s his birthday, if she’s that shallow, tell her you’ll do her next one…:smiley:

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This is a good time to teach him that his birthday is special to y’all but not to everyone.

If his birthday is that important don’t go to your sisters wedding, but you cannot expect people to put you or your children first in their life.

You are not obligated to do anything for anyone and if this is your hill to die on, go ahead. Your a mom you can do that.

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Can u celebrate the day before or after? Imo , a wedding trumps a bday. I know it’s a big bday but as long ur son feels special is all that matters. A party on a day before or after the wedding. Than day of the wedding (in the morning or at night depending what time the wedding is) u can sing happy bday, open gifts, have the house decorated when he wakes up with streamers and balloons. Also talk to ur sister and ask if she can request that the band or dj play/sing happy birthday and give ur son a shout out. That would be pretty cool for him!

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Yes overreacting. Celebrate with your son the night before or day after after explaining to him about the wedding, or that day before the wedding.
Picking a wedding date is not always as simple as looking at a calendar and choosing a date… the couple has to pick when the venue is available, when the photographer is available, etc.

Why would you think she did this on purpose?

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Yes, you’re overreacting!

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Sis your kids have a birthdays every single year. Your sister is getting married one time… yes you are over reacting. You can literally celebrate his birthday anytime, taking him on a mini trip I’m sure he wouldn’t mind because you still kept him in mind, say you have tickets to something he likes but it isn’t until a certain date and it can be his present. You really don’t need to Celebrate the same day.

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My sister in law got married on my daughters 13 birthday, I was her maid of honour. We just celebrated her birthday on a different day. It was quite fun actually because my sister made a point to shout out Emma’s birthday at the celebration and she was tickled that everyone was wishing her a happy birthday.

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That’s so very immature of you. Your son is turning 13, but you are acting like you are too. Grow up

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You can still celebrate his bd. You can celebrate earlier or after. Sometimes we don’t get a chance to celebrate on their actual day. So we plan for a different day.

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Do you have to celebrate your son’s birthday ON his birthday? I rarely do. It may be because it just so happened to fall on a weekend this year and maybe they can’t get another date for the venue they have chosen this close to the event.

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How many other times have you celebrated your sons birthday on a day that wasn’t his actual day? Did those times bother you, or just this time? Sounds more like a control issue than anything else. She’s your sister, and it’s her wedding. Your son has plenty of other birthdays, and if you ask him he probably won’t give a crap!

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I totally get where you’re coming from. Birthdays are a big deal in our home. Some people keep them simple, and some don’t keep it simple. You’re in the wedding, so you will most likely be with your sister all day. I suggest you have you have his party the weekend before or after. The day of the wedding let your sister know you have the morning reserved for your son. Decorate your house the night before and take him out for breakfast. You could surprise him with a day filled with activities. Get him and his friends tickets to go do something fun while you get ready with your sister. At the wedding be sure to sneak in a dance with your son.

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You are overreacting.
Ur sons 13. Not like it’s his 1st bday
16 or 18 bday lol

There’s ways to celebrate and be happy for both. Breathe. In 10 years will u still be this upset? Hoping u guys can work it out so ur both happy

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Well I think I’m the only one, more on your side- this birthday is a big deal, he becomes a teenager! Especially if he’s an only child.
What if you go to the wedding for just the service and then leave, we’re talking about like 30 minutes to an hour.

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If you feel like she did this on purpose than take yourself out of the wedding or stop complaining about it. A wedding happens once and your sons birthday happens each year. I get it though he’s turning 13 as in an official teenager but you can celebrate before or after the wedding. But if you’re going to in a bad mood at the wedding than don’t go because it isn’t fair to your sister for you to ruin her day because you’re mad. So either go n be happy or don’t go

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She probably wanted that day to be extra important to her n anniversary and nephews birthday … Sounds like a great party in the upcoming years . He’s 13 it’s time to teach him selflessness, celebrate him yes on his day but teach him it’s okay to share. I don’t see a 13 throwing a fit over a party anyways

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If she’s in the wedding the day before will probably be the rehearsal she should of thought about that when she asked you to be in the wedding id skip the wedding if it upsets you just have your kids birthday my friend made her wedding opening day of deer season and I’m a deer processor so I couldn’t go but she understood it’s her wedding as long as her and the groom are there it shouldn’t matter

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Yes. Yes you are. She probably chose that date bc of venue availability. My neice did the same thing. Her wedding is on my sons 15th bday. Bc that date is a year to the day they got engaged.

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I feel like you’re overreacting, in theory a person will have many birthdays but maybe only one wedding day and definitely only one first one in day. Throw a party before or after

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Celebrate his birthday the day after. A bunch of people may be in town, for the wedding, that normally wouldn’t be, so you can have a bigger shindig to celebrate him.
I wouldn’t do it the day before with the rehearsal and such.
I’m also guessing that you don’t always host his birthday parties on the actual day, due to work, school and other life commitments.
Besides, you can still make him feel special with a nice breakfast and his gifts or whatever before you head off for the wedding festivities.
It’s really not the end of the world. It truly is one day. Sure, they will have anniversaries on this day every year, but you don’t need to be present for all of those.

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We had a friend get married on my daughter’s 14th birthday. She’s 19 now, and she’ll tell you it was one of the best birthdays she ever had!

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Just celebrate the week before. When he’s older he’s not going to care.

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Your 13 year old son probably doesn’t want you to make a huge deal about it. My 14 year olds just want to go out to eat and that’s it.

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Definitely overreacting :joy: birthday can be celebrated another day

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Ask her to sing him happy birthday after they cut the cake and get him a separate cake lol

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Have the birthday party the weekend before he won’t mind ask him then go to the wedding it’s a win win

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I think so, you can spend his special day with your sisters special day. Everyone will think it’s great. He may even receive more attention.

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He’s 13. Certainly he can understand having it a day early or a day later.

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Just do his birthday party on another day. Do not do it at their wedding! It will all work out.

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Do his party on a different day. We rarely celebrate my kids birthday parties on their actual day. They don’t mind at all and I’m sure your son won’t either.

Different situation but Mr workin this father day 1st day bk at work *call it wedding day ur son bday
So what we doing is celebrating it day before when me him n lil en togerther that day x

The only way I see this really being an issue is big y’all are Jewish and his 13th bday falls on a Friday evening and he was having his bar mitzvah the same exact day as his bday with the oneg or a larger party following. Even then, most people don’t have their bar or bat mitzvah the same exact day they turn 13. A week or two later would be fine.

Maybe that day was cheaper for the venue or the only slot the venue she wanted had. Maybe important people couldn’t attend certain days/could only attend certain days. I would just ask him if he wants his celebration the weekend before or after. A good lesson that even when things are about us, life doesn’t always allow it to be about us lol. If you don’t have to be to the wedding early, make him breakfast or something in the am. If it’s a morning wedding, take him to dinner in the evening or something. Maybe ask her why she chose that day? High probability she won’t even realize it’s someone’s bday lol.

Go, tie happy birthday balloons to your boy and take him too.
:two_hearts:

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Was a birthday 5 days before Christmas I resent when I can’t celebrate it on the day not on Christmas not before not after not in the middle of the freaking summer. I don’t really think you’re overreacting and at 13 I sure wouldn’t make him compromise his birthday.

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Get over it. I got reprimanded for having my child on my nephews birthday. Like I planned it or something.

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My ex sister inlaw got married on her son’s 21st birthday

My brother got married on my daughter’s 1st birthday! I love it. We just did her party the next day since family as here and it is something special that she shares with my brother. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Did you talk to her? It may also be a special day for your sister or husband. Maybe they can arrange something special for him during their wedding then you can celebrate it with him the next day.

I hate to see when someone passes away close to a special day. Meh tell her your inviting some of his friends to the reception, they can have a dance party for the 13th. The teens will love it

Did you ask your child what he thought about having his aunt get married on his birthday? Maybe he thinks it’s cool. Maybe your sister didn’t have a choice like somebody else said what if that was the only day available for the venue. I wanted to get married on my grandfather’s birthday but couldn’t the courthouse wasn’t available. I purposely chose to have my daughter born on my parents anniversary to honor them. They were over the moon.

Why don’t you all celebrate the evening before? You can have his friends and all the family together then and plan a nice meal or activity to do. Least that way everyone’s getting the best of both worlds. I don’t think for a second she has done this intentionally unless you feel that’s how your sister is.

Tell it to every person born on a major holiday or someone else’s birthday, event day, anniversary, etc etc world wide.
Die on this hill of sanctimonious insult and you’ll never attend another event again in your life what doesn’t fall on someone else’s significant event day/ date.
Far overreach overreact.
Its commonly known that many wedding dates get chosen based on or around availabilities of venues ,services, work and other family commitments.
Willingness to compromise & postpone in lieu of others… are a part of everyday life, especially if you don’t wish to alienate everyone around you and be the known pain in the ass no one wants to deal with. That…flows onto your kids too.
Sounds more like a longstanding personal beef with sister than any upholding of the lauded child’s special day.
Lose the bitter recalcitrant unreasonable expectations & entitlement and relax ffs…before you instill the same in your children…who are watching listening and taking cues from you every second.
Statistically speaking, a one day funeral could just as easily fall on your little cherubs actual birthday as a wedding. Going to take this hard line ‘how dare they choose to die on or around my kids birthday’ …about it then?
Or, ( gasp ) a little niece or nephew born on YOUR kids birthday!? The horror! No surprise… you’ll be accusing your sister of deliberately going into labor having the babe then as well.
Get over yourself and grow up is the advice, ’ Mama K '.

Ps. Count the number of my’s, me’s and I’s…in your short statement. Its very telling.
Therapy might be something to consider.

Omg total overreaction! Celebrate on another day !

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I got married on my moms birthday. :woman_shrugging: funny now cuz she hates my husband lol

Personally I wouldn’t mind and I know my kid would be excited. We would just have hair party the weekend before or after. Ask your sister if you guys can sing happy birthday to him after the cake is cut

Celebrate your son the day before or the day after. Enjoy the wedding.

My mom and dad got married on my birthday lol

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You are over reacting. He will be 13 I think he will not be crushed.

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Seriously this should not be an issue.

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I’d be ticked, tbh because that’s intentional :sweat_smile: I’m sure your sister knows it’s your son’s birthday and out of the 364 other days she just had to choose that specific day? Nah lol I get it.

Don’t worry about it …give your son presents in the morning and he’ll go to a free party…my son is 13 and just wants a day on his PlayStation…:smiling_face_with_three_hearts::england:

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Yes you are overreacting. He’s 13, so he probably wants to hangout with his friends and definitely not his parents :rofl: Enjoy your sisters wedding and do his party the weekend after.

Sometime the venue they want is only available on certain dates. It may not be malicious. Maybe, with all the planning, she forgot or maybe it’s just when the venue is available or maybe a combination of bith

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Ask your son what his feelings are, talk it thru with him first

I mean…. If he’s also invited to the wedding…. Cheap part for you…. HUGE party for him on his birthday… have a few friends meet up with him after the wedding and everyone enjoys the day

Lol seriously . .if his birthday was a Tuesday you’d have it the weekend before or after … same thing here h Ave it thr weekend or day before … really not an issue atleast lots of family will be in town the day/evening before . He could rake in on bday cash /gifts with some many people around :wink: jkjk. But he’d defined rake it in on being surrounded by loved ones.

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Why would she she purposefully choose your sons bday ? Does she not like him and want him to be sad ? Probably not. It just happened to be that day. Does he get to be at the wedding? He’ll probably have fun and get another party with his friends on another day.

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Definitely overreacting. Chill

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Yawn…get over yourself.

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It’s a Birthday. He’ll have more. Celebrate it the day before or the day after. Hopefully your Sister will only have one wedding.

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No kiddos come first she knew his birthday screw that

I think you are definitely over reacting… just celebrate him a week early or the following week… At 13 i doubt he will even care seeing that teens dont pay much mind to it anymore but either way just explain the situation to him and move on… Dont think its worth you being mad or upset at your sister over it…

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is it a big deal to you or your son? i’m sure a 13 year old could care less if you have a party for him on that day! geez… totally you are over reacting. be happy for your sister! your son can have his party a week before or after.

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So she should have planned it around everyone’s birthdays?

Yes you are !!! All you have to do is to celebrate your sons birthday the weekend after the weeding and problem solve

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Celebrate his birthday the weekend before, is he going to the wedding?

It’s one day, the day of her wedding, I’m sure you won’t be celebrating her wedding day every year, they will then be for your son, enjoy the day don’t make life to complicated

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Not a big deal. Celebrate him the day before or day after.

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Yes!! Yes you are overreacting!!!

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Well… You can either bitch about it or just figure it out. Have your sons party either the weekend before or the weekend after the wedding.

My kids over everything else :woman_shrugging:t2:

Being pretty petty…
He’s 13
Celebrate later jeez

Have the party another day. Problem solved

365 days in a year and she chose your sons birthday.
She did it to be spiteful.
End of.

I got married on one of my closest friends birthdays. I asked her if it was a dick move and she said no I don’t own the day just cause it’s my birthday and I love you so why wouldn’t I want to share a special day with you. These things happen its not that big of a deal.

Yes you’re overreacting. She doesn’t have to think about every single person’s birthday for her own event. :joy:

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I’m sorry, but if I had to choose. I’d always take my son side! Kids come first! Doesn’t matter if a birthday or a wedding. You only get one birthday a year! Do the birthday. Another thing is talk to your child and see what he thinks of the whole situation. If he wants a party or a wedding to go to. Let your child decide. I don’t get why she would have a wedding knowing it’s his birthday. There has to be a reason why? And for the anniversary every year on his birthday. But at least with that. You don’t need to go to that lol. You can celebrate his birthday. If they get mad for any reason that you don’t go, that their problem. You shouldn’t have to choose. It sounds like that’s what your sister wants you to do! Good luck!! You do you! Who cares what anyone says. You are the only one who can make the decision on what you want to do. But I don’t think you’re over reacting! If my family was like this, sorry but nope I have a birthday to get ready for. But luckily my family would not make me choose. They would change their wedding day just for a birthday party of my son!!

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There are more important things than this :roll_eyes:. Like cmon now. Celebrate it the day before or after. It doesn’t hurt anything. Coz after shes getting married, then your son will have all years ahead of him to celebrate his birthday. Stop creating problems and be an adult here and explain it to your son. My niece had a wedding on my daughter’s birthday last year. No big deal we celebrated day after. My daughter is 7 and she totally understand things happen. It’s all up to adult of how to handle things. Stop raising spoil brat kids like the whole world will stop everything for them. It’s time to grow up

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:joy: Yeah, you kinda are. Most people can’t celebrate on a person’s actual birthday due to work, anyways. Many times the parties are on the weekend before or after.

It’s odd she chose his birthday, of all days, but maybe she did it as a sweet gesture.

Depending on what time the wedding is, you could attend for a little then go do a birthday or vise versa. There are definitely ways to work around it. If she complains that you have to leave early then tell her she’s the only one to blame. That you have a child to go celebrate :man_shrugging:

Have you asked her why she chose that day and if it’s set in stone? If she hasn’t sent out invites yet then she could alter the date if she knows it hinders you.

You are overreacting. Maybe she chose that day for a specific reason that has nothing to do with your son.
Your son has a birthday every year, sister only getting married once (hopefully lol). Celebrate your son the day before or the day after.

Kids come first guess your sister just shit out of luck honestly lol

Maybe your son’s birthday fell on her wedding date :rofl:lol jk

Ya know you could try to make him feel honored by this. We had my husbands memorial service on one of our grandkids birthday. He had no problem with it. He feels honored by it.

He May even feel kind of honored that she’s getting married on his birthday, if you don’t make a scene & ruin it for him !

My sil got married the day before my daughter’s bday, she didn’t acknowledge my daughter at all and I had to do her bday the weekend after

It’s not difficult to celebrate his birthday the weekend before or after the wedding. You are kind of being petty here.

I just wouldn’t go to the wedding :woman_shrugging:t2: I don’t care WHO you are, I don’t care enough about you and you don’t mean nearly enough to me to choose to go to your event on my kid’s birthday. If it means so much to her that you’re there, she’ll take your schedule into consideration otherwise she needs to understand that you can’t/won’t make it. I say wish them congratulations and then spend the day with your kid

I think that’s so weird because it’s gonna be their wedding anniversary… I wouldn’t pick that day specifically because it’s someone’s birthday lol