My mom constantly eats the food that I buy for my son and I: Advice?

First…what is your definition of paying your own way? You stated that you are living with her… What bills do you cover? What portion of the rent or mortgage do you pay? Property taxes? Maintenance? Utilities? And are you buying groceries with EBT?

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How do you rude, judgemental girls know her mother didn’t ask her to move in to help out? You don’t know, so stfu and give the lady HELPFUL advice and move on.

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I am sorry for the harsh comments you are receiving. What I cannot understand why your mother is charging you for anything. My mom taught me to help others in need, and I am teaching my children to do the same. I would never charge my children for anything if they needed help and I certainly would not make their by their own food. I would tell your mother that you appreciate what she is doing for you, but she needs to leave your food alone, it is for your son and only your son. My sister became a widow at a very young age, my parents took her and her two children in. They refused to accept any money from her and never charged her for anything. That is what I was taught and this is what I will teach my children.

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Buy the food for all, much simpler.

Some of these comments🤦🏼‍♀️. As a mother of grown kids and young kids I get this question. Because of personal circumstances she is living with her mom. She and her mom made agreements. Which includes her buying her own food for her and her son. She may not be able to afford much and her mom is eating it all. That is unfair. And to the ones saying “it’s your mom she gave you all her food.” Yeah because she was the parent. And this woman is trying to feed her kid but her mom has no self control and is eating her sons food. Y’all act like she isn’t grateful to have her mom. Sorry but feeding her child is and should be her first priority. I’d be pissed if I went to make my kids lunch the next morning for school and all the bread was gone. And I spent my last dime in my last trip to the grocery store. She never stated she didn’t appreciate her mom or that she was ungrateful. She is wanting to create boundaries that her mom is stomping all over. Stop reading between the lines.
Y’all are missing the part that her mom told her to pay for her and her sons own food. So why is she eating their food that they buy?
Instead of actually giving her logical advice you place judgement. This is the world we live in today. If her mom wants to eat the food she gets for her son and her then put money towards the groceries. Or lock food up in your room.

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Id take $50 off what you pay in rent a month and explain that’s the difference in what you ate feom my groceries 🤷 family or not you don’t take something you didn’t pay for especially without asking and especially from a child!
And for those that are gonna say “that’s not legal” idgaf lol I’d tell her to take my ass to court over it then.
Glad I don’t have to deal with that. I live with my dad and 2 kids and fiance. My dad doesn’t eat anything we buy without asking first or unless i make him a plate (which i always do) it’s just disrespectful if everyone is contributing to the bills and buying their own groceries to just take it.

The comment “she’s your mother she clothed and fed you” is idiotic in general but especially in this scenario. She doesn’t owe her mother anything for providing her the NECESSITIES growing up. Why does it make her ungrateful that she’s upset that her mother is taking from her child’s necessities? She stated she pays her way. 90% of the comments on every advice post is mom shaming. Good lord.

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Make lots of pasta…that way there’s always plenty for everyone…

Deduct her food from something else you pay her for. Explain to her that’s how it goes!! She eats…she pays.

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I’d buy a mini fridge & put a lock on it

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Not every parent was a loving, providing and safe place for their child. ‘Owing’ your parent for having had you is ludicrous in some situations. Blessed are those who come from a loving a home. Shame on those who are unwilling to understand that isn’t the case for all! This poor lady is asking for help in resolving this problem and I’m guessing the last thing she needs is to feel worse about it!

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Man I can relate my kids live with me and I bought MYSELF chocolate milk and a ice cream, I took a shower and my shit was gone! At least you know who ate your stuff , I got a bunch of it wasnt me’s :woman_shrugging:

My mother is just like this, and no, she did not “raise me,” she left when i was 14 to start a “real family” and left me at my grandparents. Form boundaries. If youre paying your way she should not be eating YOUR food! People on this post are so simple minded.

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Idk if my mom kept eatin up all my bread I would end up just getting more bread lol I can’t tell my mother she can’t have anything of mine. I know how long I was eating up all her snacks for :laughing:

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Buy an extra loaf of bread

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Move out. She’s not respecting your boundaries and that’s not going to change.

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Deduct the cost from your rent. Or store your food in your room.

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Keep it in your room or area. Set boundaries.

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Just buy extra, when I lived with my mom I bought the groceries lol my mom would be eating my daughters snacks, I never said anything, I would just buy extra.

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Put it in your room and buy a mini fridge been their that’s what I did and locked the door this was with room mates but same idea ps you can get a camera that alerts you when someone enters the room auto sends message
To phone and shows video lol wouldn’t that be funny mom your a lier and now your grounded hava

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If you aren’t paying rent, I think the least you could spare is a few slices of bread. Not trying to be rude but I’d be grateful that you’re grown & she’s still putting a roof over your head.

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Or get out and get your own place? If you can pay your way at your moms, you can pay your way at your own place

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Get your own fridge and lock in your room.

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Get more bread. Your mommas hungry! It’s so ugly to be selfish with food. Especially with your MOM!!!

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Move out it’s her house. Food is replaceable.

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Ever state has some type of HUD for the ones need help

Put it in your room and put a lock on it.

Maybe that’s her way to 1) get “rent” from you; or, 2

She’s giving you a place to live…right!! Buy her some food!!!

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I had this problem when I was staying with my parents, I ended up having to keep ALL of my food in my room.

Move out or by a frig with a lock

I mean common she’s your mother and why are you coming here when we don’t know anything about the past?

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Put it in your room if you dont want her eating it.plain and simple.

All these “it’s your mom.” Can sit down somewhere. That’s your money. Keep dry food in your room/area. & if worse comes to worse buy a mini fridge & put it in your room. Try to move ASAP.

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Sounds like you when you were a kid. Parents say my kids are eating me out of house and home for a reason. Payback time!!

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I am assuming that when you say, you pay your way, that means that you pay rent to your Mom. If that is the case, then I would say pay her a little less in rent to cover for the groceries, OR if she’s wanting to do a both of you buy everyone’s groceries, then you both make a list if the groceries and yall take turns every other week on paying for them. Now, this is of I read that correctly and you are paying rent to her. If not and you stay there for free, then groceries would in my mind be a form.of rent payment from you.

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Get ur own fridge or small pantry for ur room

You only have your mom once… is it truly a battle worth fighting for.

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If you are paying her rent then you should be upset if you are living at her house for free then I would do the samething.

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Start making more money for groceries for her too apparently.

Tell her you’re gonna take it out of the rent you pay her.

You’re living at your Mom’s … I wouldn’t be griping. I’d give anything to my Mom & wouldn’t think twice … move out & pay your own way if it bothers you that much & there won’t be a problem anymore. Is this really the biggest issue you have?

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I’m pretty sure she fed you for many years and paid for every bit of it!
Your sounding like a spoiled and entitled brat.
Perhaps children need to remember that family caring is a two way street. We all will need a little help eventually. She put up with you and your daily issues for a long time… Cut her some slack, share with her or move out!

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When she takes something say to her mom you seem to like that bread. I’ll pick you up some when I’m shopping. Buy it and save the receipt. Either give it to her right away or save them and when you
Pay the rent deduct that amount and give her the receipts.

Sorry. I disagree with the majority.

My mom worships her grandchild, my son, and would never do anything that complicated things for either of us.
You’re an adult, but she’s still your mother and a grandmother. She should care about things like that. That’s how my family works. In return, my mother knows that caring for her will be a top financial priority for me as she ages, and she can count on me to take care of her. Parents and children should be able to care for each other that way.

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U embarrassing your self lady, if I were you not just bread I give to mum I will give my life if I need too, you should thanks to her million time for let your n your son stay with her

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move the hell out if you dont like it see how much it cost you then OMG

Did she not feed you and take care of you? Why would that be an issue? It’s your mom. You never know did she ever go without eating to make sure you were fed? We need to take care of our parents like they did for us.

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Idk I’m kinda 5050 on this
Currently living with my in laws and we contribute to the household as well but I’m not stingy with the food.
I have a mini fridge for specific things simply because my sister in law and her kids live here as well so I keep certain things in there so everyone doesnt grab it but I also regularly buy things I know my in laws want/need and put it out for everyone without asking
If theres one specific thing you absolutely dont want anyone touching you have the right to keep it separate but also recognize how much your mom is helping and try to help her out as well
This is supposed to be the quiet time of her life and instead shes sharing it with you and your son out of love, so buy her her own loaf of bread. Get her coffee when you see her running low, buy her a treat when you’re out shopping etc in my experience if you’re asking someone to stop doing something while living in their home and they don’t stop its probably due to them feeling unappreciated

I’d say just buy enough food for all three of you and think of it as part of paying your way. You help her out as she helps you out. But honestly, if this has you so upset that you’re reaching out for advice, I’d say it’s time to move out and truly pay your own way.

How much rent do you pay? Or electric? Or Home insurance? Or water bill? Or upkeep of the home? And YOU are complaining about bread in your MOTHER’S House? LOL. You are a hateful, ungrateful heifer. Your mom should slap the hell out of you and put you on the street. LOL…BREAD…Bi…H PLEASE! Your mama lets you live there…don’t have to…raised your ungrateful ass and you are going to worry about BREAD? LOL…OMG…GET OUT…Take Your Loser Butt Somewhere Else! PROBLEM SOLVED…

This woman fed you all your life you are living with her and you are so arrogant to shame her for eathing some of your food ?! Some people can give their lifes just to have tha chance to see and feed their mothers once again but they cant because they are no longer living . You dont deserve a mother and i hope your kids treat you the same way when time comes .

Here is a different perspective that I didn’t read in the comments from the article. Grandma is letting the grandson have extra because she feels he needs more food then what Mom feels he needs , and grandma is covering that up by taking the blame. Or the son is asking grandma for more and she is giving it to him. i mean this makes way more since to me than a selfish grandma eating all of her grandsons food.

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#1 it is irritating buying something for yourself and reaching for it and finding it’s gone when you have a taste for it. But it’s Mom you only have 1 many who have lost theirs would gladly give up their food to have them back! #2 being a mom and grandma myself I wouldn’t take their food without asking tho. You all live together break bread together and be blessed!!!

Get your own home then you wont have to worry about who eats your damn bread.

She is your mom…I dont live with my mother but when I did I paid rent child care and all the bills and food in the home…and she watched my children for me and I still paid her child care…if I would have been living on my own I would have paid so much more …I am greatful my mother help us for a short while…And even now that I dont live with her i still buy her food pay her phone and cable bill because she is my mother and gave me so much more as a child…no many of us have the blessing to have our mothers with us…I am sure the ones who dont would be happy to share with their mother…so be greatful u have a mother to share with…

Share food always …besides there is so much more in the store.I always tell my children food is to be eaten not to be saved and if we run out there is more in the store all we have to go do is go out and buy it…

Unless your paying rent your mother should beable to eat your food and I’m willing to bet you eat hers

Some how I think this spoiled entitled brat is making way more out of an unimportant nonissue if you pay half of every bill in the house mortgage and all utilities and insurances only then may you have something to bitch about!!! And then I wouldn’t she fed you and clothed you for years suck it up buttercup

I find it messed up if your mom is hurting for money and has none i could understand. But if she has money everyone should help buy food to share. And some of your sons food should be just for him like kid food he is little and needs his stuff. And if your paying rent and biils she should care about food for you all you would think she would care the most since she is mom and Grandma.

I was close with my mom we both got food for the house and i worried about my mom eating When i made dinner i cooked for me and my mom. And after she got older i even fed her That was my mom I loved her very much And I would give the last piece of bread to my mom.

Move out it’s her house. Or else just buy extra.

Move out and live on your own with your child!?!

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Wow. I had to live with my mom for a year during my separation. My mom could eat anything she wanted of my groceries, when I lived with her. She took me and my 2 babies in into to her home. I always bought enough for everyone. And I also paid rent to her. It was more than fair.

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My mother would never take food away from her grandkids. Not in a million years. Just like I wouldn’t take food from my kids if they need it. People on here saying it’s just bread have obviously never been that poor. If you don’t have money to replace the bread then yes it’s a big deal. I’m sure bread was just used as an example.

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She’s your mother… buy extra bread for her!! I’m sure you ate many things she wanted growing up… smh you will miss her so much if something happens to her!

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He clearly states that he pays his way and buys food for his son and him. None of us know what this person is dealing with as it pertains to the Mom. He may live with her because she wants him there and needs him due to health or financial reasons. Personally I would not hide stuff I’d just have a talk with her and let her know that it’s getting out of hand. Hope they work it out.

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I think its rude and just because she took you in and her grandson doesn’t give her the right to be so inconsiderate. Shes not teaching much about respect and boundaries. Super rude! I’ll be pissed too!

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It’s just a common problem when you have to stay with someone , especially family , privately keep a few important items in your room and try to move on as quick as possible. Don’t let this become a problem. Its just a thang

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My dad used to do the same thing. He even ate the cake topper to my husband and I’s wedding cake.
He’s gone now, I’d give every bit of food in my house 100 times over to see him again.
Look at the big picture, it’s just food, unless you or your child are going hungry and can’t afford more, let it go.

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it doesn’t say why he is living with his mother. It could be because his mother needed him to move in to help pay her bills because she couldn’t afford it all on herself. Boundaries and respect need to be set when families are sharing a home regardless of why.

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It’s your mom. I can see it is frustrating for you so you have two options while you stay at your mother’s just go ahead and buy extra items she keeps using or place the items you don’t want to share in your bedroom with a lock and only get them out when you need to use them. Moms are not perfect, we each get one so enjoy the time you have now and stop sweating the smalls stuff in life

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thats your mom… if i can just give my mom everything she wants and need… i will… you live on her house too… so deal with it and be grateful…

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1st off, your living with your mom so im assuming she took you and your child in to help you guys out, so to complain about your mom eating some of the food you bought, are you kidding me smdh… Your mom didnt have to take you in and your should be ashame that you are being cheap and petty about food, its your mother for godsakes and if you dont like your mother eating some of your food, then grow up and move out…:face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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Who’s paying for the rest of the food? Dinner is bread? Who pays rent, electricity, water, garbage and misc things to have a place to live. You’ll miss your mother someday😢

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I couldn’t/wouldn’t ever begrudge anything my mom ate! Whether I bought it or not! I’d just buy extra! Jeez! And I’d buy her something special she liked to eat too! God help you! And especially help ur mom,YOUR MOM! for Christ’s sake! for having such a selfish child! Sorry! No I’m not! That’s just not right!

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She’s your mom she raised you And your fussing over food , I live in my own house with my own kids and I cook dinner every night then drive 20 minutes one way to take my dad his dinner and believe me I don’t have much but I keep my family fed

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You did not mention paying rent or part of the bills. Are you cleaning up 100% of the mess y’all make, such as toys, floor traffic, toilet, shower and dishes? Who makes dinner? Do you use her washer and dryer or do you go to the laundry mat? Is she in good health? I was also wondering does she need help with food? Are you just talking about the dread? You only gave a small amount. of info. If it’s just the bread you are being verry petty. So some gratitude. She is not obligated to take y’all in. I’m sure she loves y’all. But it is not easy having 2 simipurminate house guests. Make your mother some coffee and toast in the morning. If one my kids moved in and cooked and did not offer me some I would be heart broken. Act like a family. Pull 100% of your weight and help out. She won’t be here forever.

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A grandmother would put her grandson first!

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Yes it’s your mom, but if you have a small food budget for you and your child she shouldn’t be eating your food… I’m sorry. I’m a Mom of 24 years and I wouldn’t be eating my kids food if they were as you have said “paying your own way”. Yes you do live in her house, and I would hope you respect her house rules? If yes then she needs to respect your food budget unless she’s buying all the food.

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I feel like there has to be more background to your story because my mom could’ve eaten anything she wanted and vice versa. We always had a great relationship and it didn’t matter who bought the groceries. My two kids and I lived with my parents for a while. Was there an agreement set in place when you moved in? Do you and your mom not really get along? So many questions!

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Stop being ungrateful your lucky your mother took you and your son in. Got question for you do you help pay any of the Bill’s? :roll_eyes: I lost both of my parents I miss them every day. If I’m living with them I wouldn’t care If they eat the food you know why because they took care of me while growing up fed me and put clothes on my ass.

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Yeah, I would write down everything you pay for 2 people, then write down the actual overall bills your mom pays and compare. Even then that’s your mom she didn’t have to take you in even if you pay “your share” One day she won’t be here anymore so take advantage of whatever time you have. Take it from someone who lost her father a couple months ago. You’ll be wishing you could watch her eat your groceries.

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It’s just bread… costs 80-90c at our local store…buy an extra loaf, really not a big deal. I wish I could get my mama back and buy and cook for her!

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Not to be a jerk but Be greatful you have a mom to go live with. Just buy an extra freaking loaf of bread. What the hell. :scream:

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Um, did you eat the bread she bought for the house for 18 years? If it’s that big of a deal, keep your food in your room or move into your own place. It’s bread. It’s NOT a big deal.

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Hmmm. It does seem petty to be complaining a bout your mom eating your food that is bought for your son and yourself . you are very fortunate to have her. However i can see where it could be bothersome. Perhaps you could keep your bread and food for your son. In a private spot . maybe a little friidge in your roomkeep non perishables in a tote . then you would be able to control the usage . lock on your door of course . you are entitled to that much especially if you are helping with expenses. Does your mother have a medical reason not to respect your wwishes. ?ie dementia . cherish her while you have her . moms are not replaceable.

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I’d love to have my mother on this earth for her to eat my bread…I get what your saying but it’s also your mother…it’s to small to make into something so big…

She gave you the gift of life…praise God you have her…I lost my mother when I was 9.

Your mom raised you, think about how many grocerys she has paid for? Buy extra.

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Put her in a home… the nurses will have to worry about eating other peoples food. You could buy more food, or be upset.

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If it upsets you that much then maybe you should get out on your own. Rent or mortgage, lights, gas, water, health, and car insurance, credit card payment, food, child care, etc…So before you start complaining about your mom.Think of all she has done for you and your son.

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It’s your mom… what the heck!? Get a second job and move out.

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If you are paying your way in her house, go pay your way in your own house, and she cant eat your food and you don’t need to hide it, win-win.

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It seems like the best answer is to either just pay her a monthly allowance for food and eat what is served or get your own kitchen.

Do you pay rent? If so give her less rent and then tell her why your doing it

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Buy an extra loaf of bread.
I would never deny my mom any food.

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Do you pay your mom rent. She has to pay taxes and insurance and the utilities, do you pay part, two thirds you should pay. Buy an extra loaf of bread for mom.

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For one thing you are staying in your mothers house. Why should it hurt is,she eats something

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How much food did you eat since you were born that was purchased by your mother??? You got some nerves

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