My kids don't feel welcome around the guy I am dating: Advice?

Nope. Kids don’t like him then thats a HUGE SIGN!!! Once I find out my kids don’t like someone, whoever it is, that person is gone. Parenting rule: Kids always come first!!!

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Why didnt you leave after the first comment? I’d kick him to the curb and hope someone runs over and kills him on his way out so you dont have to deal with him ever again

He should have hit the door the second your children said they were uncomfortable. Do not fail them by continuing to let this behavior be acceptable. Boy, BYE :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

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I don’t understand, was there a question here? Your children’s welfare should come first and no child should be mistreated because of their race or who their parents are. I would not want this man around any of my children if he can’t treat all the children alike. He can cause great damage to them that will will affect them for the rest of their lives !!!

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Leave before your children end up hating you

Kids first always, you are their protector for their safety

Your kids should be whats most important to you. I know it’s scary to do it alone, but your only other choice is to lose them all together. You can do it. Millions of women do it every day. It will be hard but worth it in the End. Your kids will end up looking up to you rather than resenting you.

Your children should come first always leave him

Get away from him if he really loves u he will change and make things better.But with the way hes acting now I wouldnt want to be with him.

children first tell him to grow up or **** off

Leave, struggle if you must ,but your older kids do t deserve to be treated that way & neither do you. You are their protector and owe them a safe and comfortable place to live, they cant do it on their own. I know it can seem like a lot and it will be , its gonna be hard but you have to get all your kids out of that situation for them and your self. Maybe seek some counseling, work on healing what’s inside so that way you can notice the red flags BEFORE you get your heart invested next time it will help you with the depression and your self worth and give you someone to talk to that has your best interest at heart. Get government assistance if you have to ,but go

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This can’t be a serious question. Kids are subjected to enough racism and negative comments without their mums ‘partner’ being racist to their faces, snide remarka or not. Second, them babies are your childrens siblings where does he get off telling you their not allowed to hold them! Your children are old enough to help you with the new babies, I’d rather do it alone than let my kids be subjected to a man like your with. They will only end up resenting you for allowing it to happen.

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Oh hell no I be done

Run! Trust your kids

Try talking to him an telling him tht ur kids didn’t choose they father an they r not responsible for they father’s actions tht he needs to treat them like his own and stop maken comments towards them. If after that talk he doesn’t straighten up than it’s probably best to leave for ur kids sake

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Children shouldn’t be punished for their parents actions. It’s ridiculous if you let it happen who cares how he treats you, he treats your children like crap.

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Honestly I can’t even believe half the crap coming from this page. Are there actually women this dumb asking for advice? Send the loser packing

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Kids come first no matter what

The fact that you are posting this is mind blowing . If Jesus himself came down and had a problem with my kids were fighting and he’s getting kicked the fuck out . Your children deserve better

Sorry but your children deserve way better than that. It doesn’t matter how good he’s treating you if he’s treating YOUR children like trash.

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You should put your older kids first.
As a child who doesn’t feel
Welcome around my moms husband. She stayed with him and allows it and it hurts a lot when she chooses him over us. We’re adults. So for them being kids still I can imagine it’s even harder.

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Should let this dude go. Your children come first. Those nasty remarks. I would already put him out the door when it first started

You need to get out of the relationship. Doesn’t matter how many kids you have. Your older kids have nothing to do with what their father did to you. You dont know what’s going to happen later down the line so your best bet I’d to leave now before it gets worse. He’s verbally abusing your kids. Your kids are #1

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Are you ok with him mentally abusing your children? Because if you stay, you are allowing that to happen.

What happened to YOU doesn’t get to offend him. It’s not his story, not his past, not his trauma. It is yours. For him to use that as an excuse to harm your older children is awful.

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This dude sounds like a real POS. Stand up for your kids and kick his ass out. Kids come first.

Your kids are apart of u if he cant move past that they are a mixt race and your ex treating u bad then he is no better making rude comments about your childrens race u don’t want that poison spelling over to your new babies so u need to set him straight because your older kids shouldn’t have to be uncomfortable and not be able to hold their new siblings .

I had an ex that called my oldest son a little beaner, I flipped out and he became the ex…

Your older kids deserve better than that you need to kick him to the curb but also don’t expect the older ones to help with the new babies this is your mess not theirs they deserve a childhood

I was the kid in this situation…my dad could never pick me up at my house I had to meet him down the street at the gas station and my mom wasn’t allowed to drive me so I had to walk no matter the weather when my dad came to pick me up, my stepdad talked so much shit about my dad infront of me and was very mean to me when I was a kid it all stopped one day idk what happened if he grew up or what but my mom let it happen

Your kids are your kids forever. Unfortunately men come and go. If you died tomorrow the man will go on to find someone else. Your kids will forever have a void in their life and genuinely miss every day without you.

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Trust me just leave… sometimes we justify their behaviors but wrong is wrong …be there for your children , speak up for them…protect them emotionally

What is wrong with you?!? How dare you allow a person in your children’s lives that talks about their race and makes snide remarks to or about them! Leave him now! He is mentally abusive to your children and you, their protector, is allowing it. There isn’t a dick in this world that I would put before the well-being of my children!

Kids come first. His comments fuck him leave get child support. You kids deserve better. Your allowing him to be racist to your kids.

Leave him. Your kids come 1st. All 4 of them not just the 2 youre pregnant with.

Commenting on thier race and you are wondering what to do. He would of been out the moment anything race related came out of his mouth and I can’t help but wonder is race the reason he doesn’t want your kids holding the babies. You are suppose to be thier mother befor anyone’s girlfriend…kick him the hell out

A wall between you and your kids? This man has to go Hon!! I almost let that happen once!! I still remember and so disgusted I waited to get him out of our life I was ashamed I did not end it sooner. Did not live together. Child support through your state. Do not let money alter what your children need and that is you. You know what to do and this man is not for a happy family life !!

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U need to leave ur kids come first it will be hard with 2morw kids but ur older kids can help out they will b happier when he’s not around, my mum chose fellas over her kids and I swore I would never do the same to my daughter my kids come. First over any1 zz

The first comment he made should’ve been the last one. PUT HIM ON THE CURB. ASAP. :clap:t3::clap:t3::clap:t3:

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Your kids should always come first

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Why are you with someone who doesn’t like your kids???

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Put your kids first and leave him they shouldn’t suffer to make life easier for you.

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PUT YOUR KIDS FIRST… or give them to someone who will. If he isnt nice to your kids, he isnt nice to you…

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If he can’t accept your kids, get rid of him. Your kids are still small and that’s just wrong In so many ways

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You are allowing someone to abuse you again… stop the cycle. Im not trying to be a jerk but you need to STOP the disrespect and cycle

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Leave him he’s a racist jerk. Choose your kids. Let me tell you if you stay its gonna damage your kids long term, speaking from experience.

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Wtf?! You are stil with him after all that?! Children are always the victims…

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I’m sorry, but why are you even asking this??? Your kids come first !!!

Leave and if you don’t, don’t leave your kids alone with him

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That boy woulda been gone with a quickness. Stop allowing him to treat your children like trash. They didn’t ask for that dude to come in and abuse them like that. You need to be their mama and put your foot down!

Get rid of him he sounds psychotic.

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And the fact that you’re letting him treat your kids like shit says a lot about you. Put your kids first!!

Wow…this is the beginning of an ID channel special. If you gotta question things then get out. Get on your feet financially, and go!

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There is no excuse for the way he treats your kids. My ex was mentally emotionally and verbally abusive to me and he raped me. He also abused the hell out of our kids. But my current husband doesn’t treat them like shit because of it. He excepted them and eventually adopted them as his own. You need to get out of that situation before something happens to your kids.

If you’re willing to make excuses for his behavior in your post, I guarantee you make excuses for him in front of them. How sad it must be for them when you justify rude, racist, and unkind remarks. They can’t hold the babies?? How about he can’t hold the babies until he can stop being a dickwad?

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Why are you even asking for advice if your a true mother you already know what to do men come and men ho BUT YOUR CHILDREN WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR CHILDREN

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Leave now before he gets more abusive. Your kids, all 4 need a moral and social role model.

And you’re still with him why. Protect you kids peace

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Kids go before any man. I dont see how this is a question.
He bullies your kids and “relatively nice” to you. Your kids are definitely old enough to notice you “picking” him over them and letting him treat them like that and sticking around.

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You’re willing to a man above all else…and that man doesnt even love you enough to care about your kids. That is messed up girl.

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Leave and don’t be scared. You’ll make it work with 4 just the same as you did with 2. We’re mom’s we adabt. Just get out before y’all are permanently affected.

Protect ALL your kids from that POS. If he can’t accept your kids, he doesn’t respect you and you should not be in a relationship with someone like that.

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Your children come first! Kick the boyfriend out - he is a loser!

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You have to get out for the sake of your children , wether you can or can’t cope on your own you will find a way never ever put anyone before your children especially a toxic man!

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Kids come before dick
I repeat…KIDS COME BEFORE DICK

“Relatively kind” girl leave and get therapy… you are still allowing abuse to happen to yourself and your kids. Get out now

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Leave. Your kids are the most important people in your life. Your older kids are going to resent you and I won’t blame them. I’ve been down this road where a mom chooses a man over her kids and in staying you are choosing him. I know you said you don’t want to stay, so dont. Hit his ass up for child support.

STOP DATING HIM. I didn’t even read past the part where you said your kids don’t feel comfortable with him, because anything beyond that doesn’t matter. YOUR KIDS ARE #1 AND KIDS CAN FIGURE OUT IF A PERSON IS BAD BETTER THAN US!:rage:

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Your kids come first kick!! That asshole!! To the curb!! My children’s memtal well being is more important than any man!! Motherhood comes first!!

I would leave. You need to put your kids first.

None of your children deserve to be treated like that! You making some excuse of your older child reminding him of your ex is complete bull because that is your child and you should be standing up for them! I would never tolerate anyone talking to my children or child that way I don’t care what the situation! I would leave!!

Total effing asshole get rid of the piece if shit

Get in his face and say wow didnt know i was dating a racist. Tell him to leave. your kids come before him

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So u are choosing a man over your kids? Wtf. Dont do that shit. I’d get in his ass and if he made one more comment his ass would be put on child support and leave. I have a 14yr old by on my and 3yr old twins by another and my boyfriend would never say that shit or I’d slit his throat open. My oldest is mixed as well. You are deeply hurting your kids!! Pics of my kids in comments

Im sorry to say but i would put my kids 1st he has to respect them not be nasty to them .they need to look up to him as a role model .not for him to be horrible to them it will hard having twins and being single mother of 4 but at least they all going to be all so loved by them mum .and i bet your older kids will help you with the twins they will love them .so i would say leave b4 u end up hating him hes not that kind loving man anymore

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He needs to be gone. You need to put your children first. He cannot be treating them like that, it is not their fault that their father was abusive. I can only imagine the kind of rejection and negative emotion they are feeling :disappointed:

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Leave as soon as you can. It will only get worse. No man would ever mistreat my children.

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He is a loser. How you gonna let somebody make racist comments to your kids? Nah girl…

It’s relative to the abuse you suffered in your first marriage. Abuse is abuse. Do you deserve better? Do your kids deserve better? Of course. Get immediate help from a PHD psychologist - you need to get a clear picture of your life before you can make any decisions.

It’s going to get worse. He needs to go.

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I see so many red flags here; 1. Your kids don’t feel comfortable around him. Kids have a sixth sense about these things, please listen to them! 2. Him making racist remarks about your kids is WRONG and will only get WORSE! Should have been gone then. Emotional abuse can escalate to physical abuse. 3. He doesn’t want your kids to hold their siblings? Oh hell no! Your children have every right to be around their siblings, to hold, bond and love them. This guy sounds like a control freak, abusive racist! Please find help and get out! Please give us an update of what you decide to do.

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Tell him it ain’t your older kids fault that their father is who he is and he needs to STOP making rude comments and treat them like his own and if not then he knows where the door is

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Why are u still with him? Put your kids first

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Sorry but why are you still with him. He’s abusing your kids mentally. Your children have the right to feel comfortable and safe in their own home. Sorry but I would have left as soon as the abuse started on my kids

Wow,you’re on here asking? Kids ALWAYS become for your man whether it’s their father or not… you’re gonna grow up sad and lonely if you stay with him,I tell ya that bow

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Kids come first! I’d be getting rid of him asap!

It will get worse sweetie he will always feel a certain type of way towards the 2 older ones leave him now before it turns into your older sons in the near future fighting this man . He needs to respect you and your eldest kids no questions. Goodluck.

I would tell him point blank that just because he doesn’t like their father doesn’t mean he gets to be a jerk to the older kids. Kids come first. You had 2 kids before y’all got together and he needs to get over it. They will be around the babies and hold them. He needs to get his head out of his ass! No one (no even dad) would be talking to my kids like that!

That behaviour is disgusting. And it will only get better the older you babies get.
Tell him that the VERY NEXT TIME he makes a negative comment or says anything mean/disrespectful to your children, that you will leave. He should treat them all the same at this point. He knew you had children when he first started dating you, he cannot now decide he only wants you and your new babies. Being mean to your kids isnt him ‘being kind to you’ its systematically trying to take away your relationship with your other 2 children, because he feels like his own are more important. X

I think you know what you need to do. It’s just a matter of you doing it. I’ll be damned if ANYONE talks about my kids like that let alone someone who isn’t their father. NOPE. GOODBYE.

Kids always seem to know. Sometimes they’re just being brats, but they know.

I stopped at he makes comments about their race. If they can’t be secure about who they are in their own house where can they? He needs to go. Love yourself and the kids more than him.

Don’t put him on the birth certificate, and move across country he’s a liability for all including his own…

As scary as it is being a single mother with 4 children, you need to do it. The longer you stay with him the more your older kids are going to see it as you care more for him and your new babies then you do for them. Your kids deserve better

Get out your children come first befor any man even if you have children with him if he was ok with children befor you has is something is wrong the way l see it is he has always looked at your 1st two differently you just never payed attention so momma move on they have shelters to go to and remember at the end of the day you are there momma and they need you so love them befor you love a man

He needs to go. The fact that he makes your older children feel unwelcome should sent you running.

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Being a relatively nice to you is not a reason to stay

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Is this even a question? Always put your kids first !! Jeez smdh

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I am sorry, but are you fuckin stupid? Why let a man around and let him make those comments about your kids. Pregnant or not, I would have left his ass. Do not let the abuse continue. YOUR KIDS COME FIRST.

Hes extremely immature
And is angry person
Blessings by having twins but he needs to seek counseling for his anger issues its belittling and damaging
Gone through this
I left him
He wouldnt change
He didnt try but maybe ur man will try

It’s sad hes ruining the entire family dynamic
Hes then turning I to ur ex to defend u from ur ex which his method not even defending at all

Ur kids can report abuse by him and ur whole life can fall apart
Then u looking bad cuz u didn’t leave him
Getting all kids taken away and then a lot of remorse and heartache
I feel that u need to know it could get worse so be wise and set ultimatums
And leave him cuz ge doesn’t love ur entire being. Just the part that u and him

Kids have gotta come first mamma boot his ass right out the door!!