He’s always questioning you because he’s guilty.
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So he can talk to people but you can’t 
He doesn’t trust you because of what HE is capable of. HE is projecting onto you what he has done and fears you will do it to him.
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Good God I couldn’t live like that! So much drama. If he’s cheating or not, lying or not, she’s a friend or more… this entire situation would make me ill.
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I’m going out on a limb and saying … you are both not Trustworthy it seems ! As soon as trust is broken no matter how long ago it won’t ever work ! You will both be miserable worrying what the other is up too .and imagine what that energy does to the offspring!
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I would have been peeled out!
Sorry dude but you can’t go to the store, doctors office or anywhere else🙄
Let me breathe
Do you wanna come into the bathroom and wipe my behind too?!
Sounds like he feels guilty about something and is reflecting onto you. The other woman sounds like shes probably being honest
This whole marriage seems toxic and passed the point of recovery.
He’s 100% getting ready to cheat or he currently is.
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He doesn’t trust you bc he’s the one doing shit he shouldn’t be.
He’s cheating and projecting it on you
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Usually the one who is doing it accuses the other. Sweetie the 4 pillars of a relationship are trust, accountability, responsibility and loyalty. Any foundation will be weak if any one of these aren’t strong. Communication is the only way to repair it before it breaks.
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Ugh this is a whole mess. Tbh if trust is gone for both of you it sounds like, Idk why y’all even together. I have no issues with my husband having female friends, vice versa as well because WE TRUST ONE ANOTHER. Hell one of my guy friends even stayed with us for a few weeks and hubby didn’t bat an eye. Because he trusts me. You might as well cut ties because the trust is gone. Sorry girl
So did you cheat before? Is that why he doesn’t trust you? Why can’t he have a friend of the opposite gender without it being a problem.
You both sound like 5 year olds trying to have an adult relationship. Get self help to grow.
How would you feel if the content of his calls are really about you, maybe he shares YOUR intimate secrets, mine did. If he has one secret he probably has many many more. Time to put yourself first and DITCH him.
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He’s questioning you because he’s doing it
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He accused you because he is guilty.
If he’s still hurting because of something you did to him purposefully, he probably just doesn’t want to talk to you, but still needs to talk about it. Honestly I feel like this post is seeking validation because you hurt him so bad that now he is incapable of trusting you, and you need a reason to leave. He’s probably hid it from you because of your history and doesn’t want you to think what you did to him is what he’s doing to you. But idk cause you don’t give much info on what you did to him in the first place which is also what makes me think you messed him up bad
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They accuse when they are doing it
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What was it that you did? For him to keep bringing up? Did you lie? Did you cheat? Everyone is blaming him but it could be from you doing things behind his back. It’s usually not just one. It takes two in a relationship or marriage. Just saying.
He doesn’t trust you cuz he’s cheating! I’m f he can do it so easily then so can you and he knows it. My ex was like that cuz he was cheating.
Listen it’s easy for everyone to tell you leave but do you want to leave? Do you think it’s u forgivable? Do you think it’s it’s deal breaker and it’s time to walk? The thing about advice is alot of ppl in their own messed up situations and doing nothing about it so the person you need to ask is yourself. What do you want?
It’s like the old saying goes “the guilty dog barks first”. That’s gaslighting at it’s finest.
Guilty conscious. He knows hes doing wrong
. I’m sorry but we got bigger problems then silly teenage trust issues. U want out 20 years later 
ehh just go to therapy and go on vacation. Figure it out. Unless u just dont love each other
If you were on snd off prior to marriage. You shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place
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would he be okay with you giving the same energy that he’s dishing out? know your worth and do what’s right for you, if you believe you can salvage the relationship then i always want people to work out but he’s most likely keeping that a secret cos he’s either doing something with her already, or just waiting for his chance, she got no loyalties to you so she could be lying for him and he hides it because he knows he’s doing wrong, why else would he hide it?
I have been thru this exactly and is was more than a friendship. There is more going on here or he would have told you the truth. She isn’t going to tell you the truth either. File for a divorce and move on!
No… you need to run from this toxicity quick and in a hurry!!! The woman is playing you too!!! Who knows wtf your husband is telling her throughout the duration of their affair.
He’s only accusing you of what he’s doing to you!!!
When a Man keeps accusing you of something, I believe it is because He Himself is guilty of something.
That is a huge hallmark of underlying psych issues like narcissism and borderline personality disorder. Maybe he’d be willing to try counseling? Follow your gut.
It sounds like the way he’s acting towards you is a reflection of his deceitfulness…
So he’s insecure and doesn’t trust you, doesn’t like you going anywhere alone, brings up old news, and constantly need reassurance. Yet, he’s the one lying and sneaking around talking to another woman because “he doesn’t want to lose you” and you’re questioning what to do? Do you honestly believe that?! Come on! You already know, I seriously doubt it’s innocent and they’re just friends. If he’s hiding the fact they talk and she was going along with it too she’s just as guilty and he’s already emotionally cheated. If he’s hiding it, that’s already cheating! Love yourself enough to get rid of the whole man!
I wouldn’t contact the female again and I would file for divorce.
Can’t stand a liar…what else is he lying about??
Tin my experience, if he’s worried about you cheating, he’s the one that’s sleeping around.
RUN!!! Fast and don’t look back! I was married to a man who constantly accused me of cheating & I wasn’t allowed to have male friends because he thought I was sleeping with every guy I knew. This was difficult because I was a drag racer and 98% of drag racers were men. I trusted him until a few things tripped my gut feeling and one of my friends told me about a few girls she had seen him out with when I was at work. Turned out that he had affairs from before we got married up until I kicked his sorry ass out when I found out that he had a daughter with one of his flings. We had 2 daughters and a son and in between the 2 girls and the boy he got a girl who was 16 pregnant when he was 28 - almost 29. I didn’t find out for a number of years after the fact – when he got caught at 41 with a 17 year old. I moved on, he is still a scum bag and can’t keep his dick in his pants but his now common law wife is blind to it. Figured out that he kept accusing me of screwing around because he was. So go - enjoy the rest of your life and forget the BS!
He’s a narcissist. Get out of there.
Guilty concious. Because he is doing wrong.
Never trust the " freinds specially when he’s lying about it"
Kick him to the curb and swerve… Maybe run him over too? 
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Suspicious minds by Elvis
No you are not. If they were just friends, there would be no reason to hide it
If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck—-it’s a duck.
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The bit dog bays loudest. Hes accusing you of what he is doing.
You want out anyway. This is just another reason.
Not at all. It’s time to move on.
Projection… he’s cheating and is trying to make you look like the bad guy… get out
Move on, time is irreplaceable.
Sounds like my ex. No offence but you married a lieing garbage 
If he has kept talking to another woman a secret from you for years that’s suspicious. If they are just friends it shouldn’t something secretive. That’s definitely a red flag. Him constantly bringing up your past proves that he’s gaslighting you and he has a guilty conscience. You have every right to feel the way you feel. Fuck him and get the divorce.
If he has to lie then there is definitely something going on! Especially if he has to make it a point to bring up what happened with you making mistakes in the past, he’s doing it to feel less guilty and justify his actions! If you’re not happy, leave! Its better sooner then later!