Hire a cleaning service!
You went out of town and left your husband with not only his responsibilities but yours as well for a month. The fact that he swept and did the dishes says alot. What if he went away for a month and left you to earn the money to pay the bills in addition to your current responsibilities? I’m almost certain you wouldn’t be able to carry both of your responsibilities without something slacking.
Did you leave home for a month? Did you have to do anything at all? Me and my husband are divorced now I miss having him so I could clean up after him. Ma’am it’s not that big of a deal. I wish I was in your spot . At least he did sweep and do dishes
Be thankful that he swept the floor and did the dishes. Don’t stress yourself over something so small.
If neither of you want to clean your shared home then split a cleaner for a deep clean. Get back to a fresh start and maybe talk about who does what/what’s expected of everyone. It’s a joint thing regardless of what the other has going on.
Have him watch as you go about cleaning, your way. Then he won’t be able to say he didn’t know.
You’re a SAHM who does all the cooking and cleaning - so why are you expecting him to do it when you’re gone? It’s not something he does. Just because you’re not there why in his mind would it change? Did you tell him what you expected from him while you were gone or did you think he would just do it/know what to do? But he swept and did the dishes so he cleaned up after himself. You don’t want to clean up his messes? Don’t you do that everyday as a SAHM? Your usual is he goes to work and you take care of the house, but when you left he still went to work and then had to feed himself and do the dishes. Does any person ever clean to our own expectations - no. Is this the worst thing he’s ever done? Your blessed then if it is
Squirt some BBQ sauce around the rim of the toilet and leave the dog in there and that problem is fixed, open all the windows and fire up the leaf blower to do the dusting, spray some thinned down BBQ sauce on the dishes and leave them on the floor and the dog will make them shiny and clean (do that before the toilet though). I have many more household tips for men.
If I came home to no dishes, the trash was taken out and things were swept, that’s what I would expect from my husband. His standards and mine are 100% different and that’s ok. I work 40+ hours a week. So does my husband. We hire a housekeeper to come every 2 weeks to do a deep clean for us. We can handle the day to day cleaning but we’re not going to waste any more of our time on cleaning.
Just clean it and pick your battles. Men are not wired like us to fastidiously clean. Be happy he did something and don’t be too hard on him for doing what he could. He paid for the vacation and held down the fort for your vacation. Coming home yelling about dog hair won’t make him want to put his arms around you and be relieved you’re here and back in charge. Resentment is the death of marriages, and, your kids are watching and learning how to be.
Get over it girl friend! You had a month away. I am assuming he worked while you were away visiting family.
My husband doesn’t do anything at home and it’s okay because he is working really hard for us.
Don’t sweat the petty stuff!! and Don’t pet the sweaty stuff.!!..if he swept and washed the dishes…I consider that a success. Maybe you clean up the rest together .
He gone learn today. That’s just disrespectful and disgusting. The amount of people excusing this is alarming. He is a grown human being with a functioning frontal lobe. He can clean up his mess. Gross.
If that’s how you feel tell him your getting a job and going to help contribute to bills and he needs to pull his weight around the house. No one will measure to your standards that’s ok, but you have to realize if you stay home your contributing in house work while he is paying bills. I work 40 hrs a week as my husband does to but he works harder than I do so I do more work in the house than him. I’m not complaining he doesn’t measure up to my standards on cleaning. Lol
Treat yourself and hire a cleaning lady. At least for this one time.
My husband doesn’t clean when I go away . I just clean it when I get home. It’s always a bit overwhelming . I just suck it up because he does many others things. That I don’t do when he has to go away.
Where were the kids ? Was he looking after the kids too ? Or did you take them with you ? Did you fly or drive to wherever you went? Who paid for that ? You need to communicate ask him why he didn’t clean? Or ask him to help you ? It’s not rocket science is it ?
He pays the bills u clean how much $ did u spend in that month? How many times did u hv to worry u didn’t have enough to buy something? Then clean he did try he did what he knows how to or let something u don’t need go & utilize a maid
Make it a project for him, like if he was a kid! Get a calendar wright what needs to be done and by when.,
Don’t get him any sex!
Punish him… lol
Considering he washed dishes and swept, he tried to clean. You’re looking at this the wrong way. If he’s never been taught to clean, then sorry to break the news… you need to teach him. And instead of just doing it yourself, compliment him for what he DID DO and suggest to him… that you’d like him to clean or stay on top of some other things, when you’re out of town. If you behave like it’s your “job” when you’re home, he’s not going to get it. Do chores together. Develop a schedule and post it on a big calendar. If kids are old enough to help, have them do chores, too.
He can’t read your mind. Teach him first. Make it enjoyable. And develop a list of chores so he’ll understand everything that needs to be done.
Tell him politely… you appreciate what he did, but there’s more to it than what he did. And show him.
I’m impressed he swept and did the dishes!
Clean each room together. That way he can see how you like it done, and you have his help for it to go faster. That’s how I teach my kid to clean and it’s a win win for everyone
Lmfao it could definitely be worse… Just clean your house and be glad you are home safe with your family…
Make that grown man clean up after his self!!! You home or not, should not give him a reason to slack. That’s our problem, men always expect us to do everything at home when really: cooking, cleaning, washing clothes are essential for every human being.
Let’s stop this double standard!
I know plenty of women who work and still have time to go home and cook and clean so there is no exscuses. He knew she was leaving. He should have learned how to take care of himself and household before you! And if not now is the time to learn!
Imagine raising your child to depend on another person for these things and you get this result !!
This just my opinion, take it or leave it but I feel every couple should be equal in all aspects.
good grief how long have you been with him that you didn’t know that he didn’t know how to clean:rofl:
Clean up your house and move on with your life. If he’s the provider for all your needs and you’re allowed to take off for a month, you can just clean up and get over it. Besides, the reality is that if you want your house back the way you had it, you will obviously have to do it anyway. It didn’t take a FB post asking strangers for advice to understand that.
What do you want do you want a few of us to line up so you can stone us ,it’s taken you to now to work him out lol
Pay a cleaning service to come in if it is stressing u out that bad. I have a girl come in 1 time a week and hits the big big stuff cause we both work and he cooks
This is what most women do,we baby our men,sit he’s ass down and tell him he needs to help clean the house with you,you don’t need a virgina to clean a home!!!
Teach his ass to clean
All the women excusing this is disturbing. He’s a whole ass adult. He knows how the house is kept when she is there, so he should have it that way for her when she gets home. He doesn’t know how to clean? Who doesn’t know how to clean? A person who has made it to adulthood has at some point seen someone clean & shouldn’t need lessons. It’s disrespectful. Your husband or wife is your partner. You pick up slack when they can’t. I bet if she went & made a mess of his garage, she’d be expected to leave it as she found it.
You are stuck, stuck bad with it all sorry. they know.
You clean and pick up after him normally so what’s the issue ,or teach him don’t put it on f/b I’m sure he’s a nice guy and paid for your trip,extended one at that
Surprise him with a housekeeper and the bill to a housekeeping service-
To clean or not to clean!!! Seriously??dear lady you been doing it all this time, hey at least he washed the dishes and swept, so it is what it is
You just be understanding and ask him to help you get it order and tell him what you would like done and to what standard, plain and simple.
It will save you all some peace and he will get to learn how to do things the way you like them.
We as people expect so much.
But are so reluctant to offer understanding.
You both live in the same house if he makes a mess he cleans it go about cleaning it up and tell him u want him to help cause he caused the mess to begin with while u were away. Alot of men are bad for picking up after them selves just bear with.it I guess good luck
Your first mistake was doing everything for him to begin with. I don’t give a rats ass if he works all day. Once he’s home he’s on even ground with you and should be contributing to keeping the home he lives in clean. I’ll never understand that way of thinking. You both live there, why is him having a job, which he would have regardless of if he was married or not make it ok for him not to do anything around the house? It doesn’t. I’m sure you work your ass off doing literally everything for a grown ass man. Don’t teach him shit, and tell him what needs to be done. He’s not 5 years old. This is unacceptable for an adult. Good lesson to teach any kids so they don’t use that same excuse on someone else in the future.
Lmao if the house was superclean post would read " Help I think my husband had another woman in our home while I was gone" Amazes me the crap some people complain about. Clearly he’s a good guy and not a control freak who didn’t kick up a fuss about your month long vacation while he stayed home and presumably worked. He wasn’t on a drunk or gambling spree he failed to clean to your standards. Count your blessings.
I think anyone would be peeved to come home to a pigsty and fair enough too. The issue isn’t that she had a holiday, why shouldn’t she? Nowhere does she say she wanted to come home to a Palace but she doesn’t want to come home and spend the next six months getting it back to how it was. And be honest, none of you would either…
He’s Sister saying he doesn’t know how to clean, because he never got shown how to is complete BS! More like the fact he is lazy & he’s knows you will do it anyway
Poor poor excuse. He didn’t do it as a child? He is s grown man.He doesn’t know that you mop,vaccum and all that?A dog in and out and with Corona more cleaning and sanitizing is needed? No,he would clean it.In the future stay at home or not he lives there .
So she leaves for a month (doesnt clarify if the kids stayed home or not which I’d assume she didnt take them with) meaning he would have to do 2 peoples jobs and she has the nerve to complain when he did what he knows. Yall are stupid as fuck. I’m aware sahm is difficult but I have 0 sympathy here. He probably had 2 peoples shit to do by himself. She needs to suck it up and get shit back in order. SHE WAS GONE FOR A MONTH
Maybe clean with him?
Try to talk to him, reason with him, and tell him how you feel and to PLEASE CLEAN UP. He’s an adult…and for pete sake if he has to look up how to videos on youtube…then do it. There’s no reason a grown person can’t clean. It’s his house too
You could have a conversation about it and do it together.
Clean with him so can learn how it’s done
Talk to him and tell him how you feel. Have him clean with you so he can learn if that is really what it is.
COMMUNICATE! Tell him you need help and what would help you to feel caught up so you can handle it again.
That’s nasty. He needs to be taught and put a schedule up
Show him how to do it right
Ask him to help you clean
He dosent know how to clean
Hire someone to clean it for you! Its what I would do.
He needs to help you clean it. Teach him what he wasn’t taught when he was young
Show him and talk about how you felt
I mean in a mans brain the house is clean if the dishes are done and the floor is swept… He could have not did anything at all… Even his sister said he didnt really know how… Like be thankful he did something
Have him clean with you and talk with him about your expectations when you leave. You might need to leave a cleaning yo do list and te him to at least do the whole list right before you get back that way you don’t have to come home to a dirty house.
Make him help you. But there’s literally no excuse for a grown man to not “know” how to clean, that’s an excuse on his sister’s part. 90% of cleaning is common sense. Teach him as you’re cleaning with him so he can’t ever say he doesn’t know how. Communication is key
I was gone for 3 months. Dishes and laundry. Clean dishes I left in the drain board were still there. Leftovers were still in the refrigerator. I have no sympathy.
Omg clean the house and quit crying
U should do it with him and teach him because it is an important life skill that ANYONE should know and better late than never
I really feel sorry for those who’s hubby don’t help. I could leave for weeks and come home to a spotless house. My husband helps with everything even laundry.
Teach him how to clean…and have him help u…
Teach him how to do it and give him chores to do around the house so he can learn and get better at it.
Spend a little extra money and have someone come in a help get caught up. I was gone for 2 months due my mom passing and taking care of legal stuff, packing stuff up and moving my step dad back with us. My husband tried and thats all i could ask.
Mine never did anything when I was gone
Do it together. Then he can’t claim he doesn’t know how!
What? Are you insane Stfu this is a joke right?
You can’t expect other people to clean the way you do. Same with my husband. He helps some but not as much as he “could”. I would just clean and just tell him next time what your expectations are.
Have him help you and teach him how to properly clean lol
You get to be the supervisor
Jesus y’all. He’s a man who is an equal partner in their relationship. Why is she required to come and clean his mess. Or “teach him”. Like what is wrong with y’all to think that’s okay? Being upset is okay! I’d be mad too!
Shoot mine doesnt do anything when we’re both home I totally get being upset. I’d definitely just hire someone to come clean it. Just to get things back to normal. And if he complains about that, Express how you feel, and that you expected him to atleast keep the house somewhat clean.
Make him pay for a cleaning crew!!!
Did he still work?
Did the kids go with you or stay with him?
He tackled the main chores, but it all factors down to whether he had a lot on his plate or not.
It may have all been cleaned but became dirty days later.
Suck it up and clean it up
He doesn’t know how to clean?? That’s just an excuse! He may not of had to do it when he was young but come on he’s a grown ass man. Common sense, I guess not everyone has it lol Shoot tell him he needs to clean up his mess. You aren’t his momma or his maid! You’re his wife. I’d be upset too. Good luck to you!
It’s pretty obvious he won’t deal with it if he didn’t while you were gone lol. Safe to say that you’ll clean it. No offence or anything but if you want something done right ya gotta do it yourself.
Teach him how to do it properly that way he knows and can’t use the excuse of not knowing… both my hubby and I work full time, we have a 1 yr old and a dog that sheds non-stop, we both do our share in the housework.
If he didn’t touch it for a month just leaving it is going to make it messier
I don’t expect my husband or kids to clean to my standards so me personally I would just do it… but I also have ocd and it would drive me nuts so it would of been done once I was home cause I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing the mess is there. He did the dishes and swept, at least he tryed and did something.
If he doesnt know…then teach him
Omg just clean the house together
Talk to your husband! Tell him how you feel! Ask him to help you.
I would ask him for help. You weren’t there and didn’t make the mess and he’s a grown man and should know how to clean up after himself. I would tell him that I will help him but I’m not going to do it by myself.
I’m kinda curious what he didn’t do? Because I get he didn’t do it all but you’re the SAHM so naturally he just thinks in his man brain that you’ll do it because you always do and he never had to think about it before? Maybe he thought if he just kept it tidy you could do the “deep cleaning” when you came home? I’m not making excuses for him, I’m trying to see where his thought process is. He could have definitely done more. Honestly I’d clean it up and then sit and tell him that the house wasn’t in acceptable condition and tell him what you expect of him next time. Also for the future(I know it’s gonna sound childish) make a “to-do” or chore list for him maybe he forgot to mop and stuff? Idk. Just throwing things out there.
Clean together. Show him what you normally do. It’s truly not his fault if he’s never had to notice what to look for.
Ugh men . Maybe wait for a day y’all don’t work and tackle it together?
Yea I worked 2 jobs for 2 years and got sick of working every day both jobs then having to come home wash dishes make dinner then clean up after I made dinner! I just stopped doing it and he was like when are you gonna wash dishes I said when you stop eating off the dishes too then it will be just my job yo clean them! I made him a “chore” chart and told him if I seen him on the game and looking in my camera and seen the house was still dirty I was calling and having the wifi shut off! He started cleaning! He tried that well idk how to clean this or that shit to and I was like okay your almost 30 time to learn watch some YouTube videos ask ya momma idc but it better be clean when I get home or we are gonna have a problem! Now I have to say I trained him well hahahaha
I mean he swept and did the dishes, I also assume laundry unless he has a massive wardrobe to last a at least a month without cleaning clothes. He didn’t mop? So what. It’s not the end of the world.
These are the kind of things you should be saying to him, not asking facebook. You are a team. How you choose to split the work is your business. Talk to your husband. That’s the most important thing!! Personally, my husband doesn’t clean anything while I’m home or away, but that’s us.
My ex used to do that to me. He should’ve hired someone to clean before you came home, if he couldn’t do it himself.
Cleaning is a basic life skill, so that lame excuse his sister gave can be thrown out of the window. If it’s really as bad as you say it is give him the option to handle it or hire someone to deep clean.
Teach your sons how to clean up after themselves and others!!! Break the gender roles around who’s responsible for cleaning!!!
Just Clean it or hire out if u can afford it…When it’s all done get over it.
And tell him next time you’re out of town if he can’t or won’t clean, hire someone to do it before you get home.
Hire a house cleaner… with his paycheck and tell him you needed help, if he complains tell him to helpmeet sometimes.
Id just clean it, my husband cleans but does it horribly id clean it and of course express ur feelings and move on
You can either do it yourself and be pissed at him or take what his sister said and be grateful he did dishes and swept. You can show him what to do as you do it.
Was this posted in time, I mean he may not be alive now!