So I divorced my husband of 16.5 years. We have 5 children together and I have one from someone else. I’ve been having a tough time dealing with the ex and need help or advice. He was to begin paying child support in December. He claims he has been paying into a limbo account, but alerted me when he had a threating letter from the friend of the court (foc) . According to the custody agreement, he keeps the oldest full time and I keep the other 4 kids 5 days a week, he 2 days a week. Initially child support was set at $1, 487, but I asked for it to be cut to $900. I have not seen this money at all. He recently came to me asking if I could take him off child support. He also wanted to claim 2 more kids on taxes because he claims the oldest. Not only did I already file, access to the divorce decree, I claim the kids because I’ve been taking care of them. He’s been buying new clothes and going to the gym. My kids don’t have beds at his apartment but have 2 flat screen TV, ps4 ps5 a computer. He wants me to take him off the child support because he can’t afford socks (his words) for the kids. I faxed the child support order and he’s been texting me daily. He blames me for him losing out on money. He told the kids to call me a thief because he’s paying so much in child support. He said I just bad mouthing him to the kids.
Keep any and all proof of conversations and if needed show a lawyer to fight for the child support/ custody
Don’t take him off or ask them to lower it. They go by incomes so obviously he is paying a fair amount since you all ready had it lowered. If it was me I would go back and tell them you want the full amount before you lowered it
I’d let them raise to whatever they see fit since he’s got money for all those but doesn’t even have beds for your children. He’s playing you and your kids will see through it one day. Plus they won’t forget which parent is bad mouthing the other
Don’t take him off child support! He needs to figure It out that’s not your problem. Also if the kids are with you full time you claim the kids don’t let him try to make you feel sorry for him. Also he shouldn’t be getting the kids involved keep all the text and in court show them but fight for full custody if he can’t do anything for the kids & have no beds to sleep on
You cut it by $500+ and he’s not paying it… how is he hurting? He’s trying to get out of it. Ignore him and have him take it to court.
Mine had said before “I can’t make a living because I have to pay for child support I’m trying to make a living and have a house”
Meanwhile I deal with my kids 24/7 he sometimes babysit them once a month or once every 2-3 months he can’t keep them because “he’s working”. But I have to figure out a schedule for me to work to find a job who can work with my hours for my kids, I’m doing appointments school whatever they need and he thinks paying $170 is good for the entire month he only pays when he has to renew his car registration 
Judge sholl is funky- = cheaper 2 keep her - ok 
pay like you lay
Tell him to take it up with the court. It’s not up to him or you for that matter. If it’s in the legal custody agreement then the dude can kick rocks!
He is parent tell him to act like one. Take him back to court and let them set it his child support. In texas you can take them back every 6 months for free.
F…him…Get your money…he ain’t paying nothing right now…
Do not take him off child support. Involve the court if necessary,
Wow, that’s childish. In no way would I have lowered the amount. Those funds are based on what he makes. Your children are entitled to that. Unfortunately, it’s “why” your ex childish husband should have thought of before bringing children into the world. In no way do you have to bad mouth their father but explaining to them could be a start. I will never understand why any parent can add a price to how much it takes to raise children. Don’t let his bad mouthing to you make you decide what’s best for the children. Also, anything being told to the children should stop if it doesn’t on his behalf explain to them its not acceptable in your home anylonger. If your childish ex husband feels the need to get that support off then he can easily call the family courts have it situated himself. It’s ridiculous how some parents expect for the ex to still submit forms for them, that’s a narcissistic individual still trying to control the situation. Good luck.
He is just using you, he was married to you 16 and one half years he knows you and knows what he can get away with…please don’t let him get away with it your children need things he doesn’t. He needs to Get a 2nd job I did. Good luck with the low life dead beat dad
You did your part and accepted a reduction already , 900 for 4 kids is a joke , the next time he text you asking to go to court and to fight with them , fight for what your kids deserve and do not let him to get his way .
Keep every message/ conversation as proves and if he continues to bother you ask for a restraining order for harassing you
If you take him off child support I guarantee he will never pay another penny to help with the care of the kids. He’s clearly being selfish right now and plans on continuing that, don’t give in.
If he has children that don’t live with him and he does not have primary or joint 50/50 custody they will not let him off child support until at least 18 years old and has graduated highschool at least in the state I live. Document, record , all conversations. Use email so there is a paper trail. You might need an attorney or a consultation with one to see how to start. If you are bad mouthing him stop immediately as that can be considered parent alienation. When communicating with him do it by email text letter if you must speak on the phone there are recording devices you can get . You just need to make that state has a one party consent rule. He is trying to ware you down.
Never take him off child support. He needs to be responsible adult for his kids Let the court decide if he gives you problems. Those kids deserve every dime their father has to pay
He should be paying what he was ordered to pay.
I wouldn’t be leaving any of my kids living alone with someone who can behave like that
Maybe have the state garnish his wages so you actually get what you’re owed vs. his lies. I would tell him you will slap him with a harassment charge if he doesn’t stop calling about his child support. Tell him to go to court if he wants to change what he owes, you will not discuss it further as he’s already getting a huge break he doesn’t deserve.
FYI, judges don’t look kindly on men trying to get out of paying. Like if y’all were married still wouldn’t he have to shell out more? He may find they add onto the original amount! I’d bet he doesn’t want to go to court because they’d come down on him & he’d have to pay legal fees, but be prepared just in case.
Tell him you only want to communicate in writing from now on: text, email, letter. You can answer his calls if you want, but tell him you will hang up if he brings up child support, then do it.
Give all info to your lawyer—especially since the ex bought all those electronics and has no beds for them (check your laws but I think it’s a requirement to have beds for them and separate bedrooms).
If you can get evidence of his buying the expensive electronics after the divorce and saying he can’t afford socks (really? At $2 a pair?) or provide beds, do it. See if your lawyer could subpoena his credit card or other bills/receipts.
File your taxes as fast as you can to be sure you get the deductions you deserve. Talk to your lawyer about putting this in writing that you both sign so it’s not a battle every year.
And yeah, he can have his drivers license taken away for nonpayment, I believe (check your state laws).
I’m sorry he’s being such an a-hole. Be the badass, fierce woman you are and don’t take any of his B.S. Fight for your kids’ and your rights.
BTW, congratulations on getting away from this leech.
Need to tell your lawyer. Start using a parenting app. This is his responsibility to support these kids.
Yeah no, don’t let him bully you
You can’t take him off, that money is not yours it’s for your kids…do you work…
not enough info here.
You cut it down 500 bucks he should appreciate that. Don’t do it.
Don’t do it please! He sounds like a jerk.
Don’t take him off or let him claim them. The courts handled it well.
Record everything take him to court and get full custody.
Nyachang Wiitour the comments 
As someone that works in taxes, he wouldn’t be able to claim them anyway he doesn’t pay more than half their support and they didn’t live with him 6 months out of the year, plus it’s in the divorce decree. He could try but it wouldn’t end up in his favor. Do not take him off child support, that’s HIS contribution to the kids to figure it out, not your problem to stress about. I say change your number and then get a house phone with an answering machine that he can call and blab his BS to and then you also have recordings.
Tell him, sorry sunshine, it’s going back up to the $1500 level…dig your heels in…
Keep all proof of any conversations, talk to the courts about you not receiving any money with your bank statements to prove you never got any money and let the court handle it. Also if he doesn’t have the other kids full time, he doesn’t get to claim them, especially where you already did. Talk to court and if you have to, take him back to court. If he can afford a PS5, flat screen TVs then he can afford “socks”
My response is “take it up with the courts”. I’m not taking anyone off child support.
Absolutely not. And raise it back up to the original amount awarded by the judge. Save the texts and keep a calendar of events for a lawyer.
If you receive help from the state that would be why you haven’t seen any money. Bc if they’re helping you he is just paying that back otherwise you need to contact child support court bc that would mean he isn’t paying…
Don’t drop it. I’d go back and get the 1400$. Jokes on him.
I was in the same situation. Really is very common. Don’t even talk to him about it. Mine had the kids and me stirred up all the time and tried to turn the kids against me. It will all work out. But stop engaging with him. Just tell him to contact his attorney- that all that is determined by the court and enforced by the court- hopefully you had it set up that way- if not next time do- then they enforce it. Mine got so far behind they issued a bench warrant for his arrest he spent the night in jail and next day came up with all $10,000.
Your children and you deserve to eat and have clothes, go on field trips etc. do not reduce again the court will think you don’t need the money for the kids.
Mine also got tattoos, salon cuts, nice clothes etc. while we struggled. Don’t sell your children short. They deserve every penny of what he pays and then some. I have been there!
Stand your ground, you need the child support, if you let him “slide” you are taking from your children.
Do not take him off of child Support u ha e 5 kids to raise and sounds like your doing it alone since he doesn’t buy them clothes to wear no beds or nothing at his house what does he do with his other money that he makes cause I’m sure that’s not all that he makes . He just trying to get you to feel sorry for him and it’s a shame he is having the kids say stuff that’s a shame them kids will know the truth one day .
Don’t let him claim the kids on taxes, except the one that lives with him. Sorry but I’d have him pay the full support amount that domestic relations set. I wouldn’t agree to less. Let him be bitter, the kids will see how he is.
Also if it’s set thru the Court, his employer should be deducting it from his check and sending it to domestics.
I would contact domestic relations and remind them you’re not getting any support.
Efffff that bs! Do not drop it
Unfortunately this is just a bully tactic and he’s using your children as a tool to get what he wants.
I really hate when men do this shyt!
Leave those babies out of it!
$900 for 4 kids is nothing! I spend that on 1.
No way until they get 18r until 21
He should go to the courts for 50/50
Absolutely not. Your child support was based off how many children you have, who provides care and when, and both of your incomes. You’ve already lowered it once. Unless he had those flat screens, game systems and new clothes before y’all separated, he has the money to support his children, he’s just choosing not to.
You didn’t make those children on your own, it’s not your responsibility to provide for those children on your own.
Contact your local child support office. I don’t know what state you’re located in, but I don’t know if any state that puts child support into a “limbo” account for 4 months. Is your order set up for him to pay you directly, like take payments in himself or is it set up to be taken directly out of his paycheck? Either way, the child support administration will be able to answer any and all questions for you. Don’t let that man out of his obligations. No one is letting you out of yours.
Don’t be nice to help him out financially. It will only ever bite you in the ass. Of course if he is allowed let him see the kids, but you claim them, and you make him pay child support. He helped make them & now you have keep them more then he does.
Document document document but do not take him off support!!! U just go by that court order and document everything!!!
The child support is there for a reason. You have to buy thing for your children and that is where the child support comes in, its for you. Make him stick to the court order. He wants taken off it because he doesn’t want to pay and if he isn’t paying what the court ordered he can go to jail because of that. You can also take him back to court to make sure he has beds for the children when they visit him. As far as taxes go he is not entitled to claim them since you are the one with custody. He can claim for the one child.