I would highly suggest joining the unapologetic stepmom group on Facebook for these types of questions. You’re only going to get one kind of answer here
My boyfriend gets mad that I buy my daughter more things for Christmas than his: Am I wrong?
You probably should think about having a bf with no kids. Smh, how would you like it if he bought his kids gifts and nothing for yours? Selfish much. Smh
He’s a boyfriend, not a husband. Why didn’t he buy his kids their presents? Their mom should also buy their gifts.
I think your wrong. It’s not like y’all just meet and its y’all first Christmas as a family that you only get 1 present for the kids. Every child should get the same amount of presents. Just like if you have a niece or nephew, you would get every child the same amount of gifts and you wouldn’t be like that’s the parents responsibility. They’re basically your kids now especially after 5 years
When it comes to gifts I make sure they get the same number of gifts. Now clothes and such, my kids have more because they are here all the time where as she is here every other weekend during school and every other week in the summer. You should be fair about it. How would you feel if your bf went and got elaborate stuff for his kid and pretty much blew yours off
You’re either all in or leave. Kids are innocent
I truly believe your child comes first over an off and on boyfriend’s child. At least mine definitely would. 🤷 The little girl will definitely get gifts but most of my Christmas shopping will be my daughter’s.
Wrong. In your house, if you are a FAMILY, then everyone should be getting treated EQUAL.
Do y’all live together? together on and off?
5 years together they should be treated equally!
Should treat all children equally if his other child /children are active in your life, specially after so long.
Children will feel left out if one receives more then the other, though it’s not about the gifts I think he’s more upset that maybe he feels like his child / ren dont mean much to you and that would hurt.
If you’re in a serious relationship you should be spending equal about of money on all your children. It shouldn’t be one person buying gifts for everyone. Put your money together and spend an equal amount on each child.
If you took her on with him then sorry you should be treating them equally. Kids pick up on things… think of how hurtful it must be to his daughter to feel like shes less important… not saying she is but in a child’s mind that ms the way she would be feeling
Depends on if the children live with both of you and they are opening presents together, if you all live together and they open presents together your an arsehole, if the child lives with its mother than its not your issue.
I’m confused. If those babies are opening gifts together at your house you should absolutely be making sure they’re opening equal amount of gifts. Should you be buying gifts for her to open at her mother’s house? Technically, no. But if my stepson’s mother couldn’t provide Christmas for him you bet your ass we would make sure he had presents to open at her house Christmas morning.
His kids are part of the package! You do for his like you do for yours
you are a bitch it is not that childs fault nobody steps up to the plate . I would not want you around my kids
I get it, cuz at the end of the day she has another household that she’s going to be receiving gifts from which means now she gets more gives than your daughter. So maybe save those extra gifts for when she’s with her mom open her gifts your daughter can open the rest of hers.
U sound very childish and u r going to make it step daughter feel like she is not good enough. I spend the same on all my kids both mine and step the youngest gets more to open when the older ones get one big thing and a few little things only cause what they want cost more
Were you together for Christmas? If you’re claiming step mom but treating the child less than your own, you are despicable.
I spend the same amount of money on his son, my daughter and our son, as far as I see it our kids are all equal and i wont have one feel left out because they are not biologically mine.
It’s her boyfriend, not husband. This is not a “step”.
You are a lowly piece of work…when you took him you took his daughter…giving your own biological daughter more is nasty…by depriving the child you are showing your mental shortcomings to the world and saddening a child…not nice
I think it’s fine to get your daughter a few more presents, but any more than that is cruel. You sound like a pretty bad stepmother. I’m not saying that to be mean, I’m telling you so you can see what you’re doing and change it.
Should be equal you could be giving unfair feelings to his daughter
Doesn’t matter bio or not should be equal. They will eventually notice that you treat them differently and that’s wrong. I agree with your “on and off bf”
You are showing favoritism and that is damaging to a child. Even if she didn’t notice it, it’s now been discussed enough that she does. If you are living together and she shares the holiday, in your home, with your daughter… she’s part of your family too. The on again, off again is hard on them too. If it’s more off than on, maybe it’s time your reevaluate the relationship and priorities.
My bonus son gets just as much as my bio kids, plus he gets a big Christmas from his bio mom too. We never want him to feel less loved than his siblings, or less welcome or wanted in our home.
My kids are having santa at their dad’s this year they have 2 brothers down there but all kids are getting the same amount of gifts and when they get back they will have the same amount of gifts as their brother up here
I’m a step mum and I buy my son and my step daughter equal amounts. Yes she does also get presents from her mum and her partner but that’s life. I couldnt bare her being upset noticing that I bought my son more than her. I love her just as much as my own flesh and blood. And therefore gets treated exactly the same and always will be
If you are with someone that has a child and you are spending the holidays together it is only right to treat and buy equal. Now if the holidays are spent together then nope your child is your priority because if holidays aren’t spent together then yall aren’t really looking at the long haul future anyway.
Im a step mom and mom too… equal amout for both. When your with someone who has kids… their yours too
What’s the age difference? Does she wake up on Christmas morning with you? Don’t make Christmas about fighting & material items
Cmon, you knew he was a package deal when you signed up to be in a relationship with him. If you can’t treat all of the kids equal, do your guy a favor & leave him so he can find a mother figure who wont treat his daughter like shes not an equal. Better yet, I hope he leaves you.
I think if you are raising the girls together as a family they should get the same and be treated the same by each parent
Set a price limit spending not # of gifts for example if you spend $50 your bio child on various gifts of choice then spend $50 on other child. Even if the gift # is different.
5 years? If you dont consider his kids as your own…maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone with children.
My daughter hasn’t been born yet but I have a step daughter. And this year we both are getting gifts for her. And next year when we have 2 kids to buy for both will equally get gifts.
Wow. I pray to god my daughter’s never end up with a step mom like you! My worst fear are my baby girls being treated poorly for no reason. 5 years is a long time and i feel bad for that little girl that she has to put up with feeling not good enough. You need to let him go so he can find a woman who is all in. Go get a man with no kids. But dont come complaining when he dont love ur kids. Karma is a B!
I’m not even with my ex anymore but I still make sure his kids get gifts. I dont spend money on them because i dont have any money but when i signed my daughter up for Christmas help I sign them up as well
It’s supposed to be about the child and not her mother.
I feel like that’s wrong. I don’t have kids but my fiance does and if I did have my own kids, I would buy for his just like I would my own. I’ve bought his kids Christmas every year we’ve been together, I feel like it’s my responsibility just as much as it is his.
Um… I mean we sometimes got my stepdaughter ‘less’ presents but only because she was a teen and the stuff she did get came to the same if not more money than the others.
I literally couldn’t go to poundland and not end up buying something for all of I was buying for one
Kids do notice this stuff and it’s not fair xxx
He work? Yall live together?
Why should the child suffer though? Split it equally. If you’re in a relationship with him, they’re YOUR KIDS TOO. If you dont see it like that, maybe you should date someone without kids. 🤷
My boyfriend has a son from a previous relationship and it may just be me but I can’t imagine treating him any different than my own. Kids notice.
You are wrong! You should do it half and half. You knew he came with a daughter so you need to treat them both the same. I would be pissed if I was him
This stuff has GOT to be made up!
I don’t think you’re wrong. You didn’t say you don’t buy her anything. You just said you buy your own daughter more. As long as you’re showing love to his kid its fine. He should do the same with his own. Buy her more than he does for your daughter but still show love to your kid too. The majority of the presents in my opinion should be from the blood parents. The step parents should still buy the kids something too but take care of their own first.
Why dont you ask yourself if you’d allow that to happen to your daughter. Smh, grow up.
5 years on and off… give your head a shake… theres so much more we don’t know but you should be treating the other kid as your own if you’ve been together 5 years… you should make an effort to get the same amount of things. I say you don’t need to spend dollar for dollar but at least same amount of gifts. But you shouldn’t also have to pick up their slack either… if he wants her to have more he should be buying them. now if he’s contributing to your childs gift then by all means you’re selfish.
Wait… are you a step mom or on and off again girlfriend? It think if you are not engaged or married it matters how I would answer. My mom remarried twice after she divorced my Dad… she bought gifts from her and her partner there was no way I could tell who spent what.
If you live together and are in a serious relationship then you should be making it equal for everyone. Ive known my (ex) step mom since birth and when she had kids of her own she treated them way different then she did me. They got birthday cakes and a gift on their birthday where I got nothing from her. It made me feel like absolute shit. Not just about the gifts but much more. I wouldn’t alienate the girl just bwcause “she has her own mother that should be doing it for her” if you feel that way then maybe you should separate when you celebrate with the kids.
Wow. I want you to hear this and hear this good do not have more children and do not date anyone with children of their own! No child should be subjected to you! And if no one has told you this in your life shame on them too! If you have a man and he got kids and you got a kid and you don’t see them as yalls kids… he needs to leave. Your probably a step monster! And he was right to be on and off and he needs to shut this shit down ASAP! I hope he reads this and he hears me when I say run!
Should be equal especially if it’s your stepchild. That kind of stuff will damage them.
Wait a minute here… it should be equal but WHY ISN’T HE CONTRIBUTING??? it isn’t all on you to pay for both kids.
Been with my bf 4 years his kids get more then ours does. But ours gets more threw out the year then. His kids do. And his kids are much older. So there for all child in the relationship should get the same amount. In less there is a good reason behind you being a petty. When you get a relationship and that person has kids them kids are your too. You would like him doing that to your child.
Think it’s time for you to try being a single mom
Everyone has a preference. I spend a 100 on my daughter and a 100 on my fiancès daughter that way there’s no "special treatment
You are dead wrong and you know it. You’re a jerk. Kids see the difference made.
That’s unkind and his feelings are justified. Sounds like you feel your daughter deserves more because she’s yours. That’s very sad.
I have 1 bio son and 2 boys that are my boyfriends. We planned to spend around same amount on each kid this year. Cause we dont want my son felt left out and dont want his boys felt left out. Doesnt matter if they are biologically yours or not. When you choose to be with her dad then you spend same amount on the kids. I was married to a man who had 3 other kids and I spent same on them.
Yes. Youte buying for someone else’s kid out of kindness and love. Your daughter should have whatever you want to buy her, let the other child parents cater to her. #motherof4withnohelpfromtheirdad
It may not be ‘wrong’
For him and his children’s best interest
I hope he doesn’t marry her
Why are y’all together?
this is how I see it, you said on and off boyfriend. Yes, I have a daughter from a previous relationship and i buy more things for her, why because she is my daughter. if you guys were engaged or married but you guys are on and off, not sure what will happen.
Is the kid there full time, too many questions and variables obviously if you all live together or your partner had 50:50 custody… his child should be treated as equal as your own no arguments, but if say he only had access to his child 1 week of each school holiday period… he should sort out what he wants to give his child if he wants to spend the same spend more spend less its on him.
Treat them the same dude smh
You didn’t get her one gift That’s just nasty
It’s both your responsibility to make sure the kids get presents and it should be equal because kids do notice
Is he buying something for your daughter too?
Hopefully he’s spending the same for your daughter also.
i buy more for my kids because they dont recieve from another household. if he wants his child to have more too, then he can foot the bill. youre not married and in my case mom and dad dont want me spending a bunch of money on thier child. to keep it fair either he needs to make up the difference or you can hold onto the some of the gifts for when he is not there. it doesnt mean you dont love him, its making it fair accross the board.
Ok so I have a question for the people saying she is wrong. What if the child gets a bunch of gifts from her mom but the posters child gets nothing from their other parent. How would you handle that? I only ask because I have a situation where 1 child gets from us only but my other child gets from bio parents and us?
When you date someone with kids, their kids become your kids. All the kids deserve to be treated the same. If you can’t handle that then don’t date anyone with kids.
Each child should be treated EQUAL. If you are in a realtionship with him, his daughter should also be your daughter. If you buy something for your daughter, than you can also buy it for thr other one !!! Stop looking at other people.
I do not have a daughter yet, but when I buy something for my son, I also buy it for my nephew. And I also do that with my nieces…
You sound like someone I know! She paid over $100.00 each for her two boys skates and got her husbands kids a $5.00 gift each. She doesn’t work so it was her husbands money she spent. The kids are grown now but the girls still hate her for the way she treated them! You need to either treat all the kids the same or leave!
I have this issue with my boyfriend’s family. They will spend $100’s on the other 2 grandkids but my daughter doesn’t get much.
You are wrong. If you lovevhim you love his children. If you ever expect to marry him you will not be able to show favoritism.
I have a 6 yr old. When my fiance and I have one that we share it will be as equal as possible. There is no favorite child. Now if he doesn’t do the same for your child, would you be mad?
I made halloween gifts for the kids. and yes, mine did get more. I am lucky enough that i was able to even include my boyfriends kids.
To me it really just depends… Is he helping pay? I didnt get help to pay for his children as well (which is fine for small holidays) but christmas IS EXPENSIVE. Even just a couple of toys is not cheap. I myself cannot afford enough for 5 children on my own… It’s just not possible.
Did he buy his daughter and yours the same amount from him?
Your kidding right? These post are getting more and more ridiculous!!!
Yes you are absolutely wrong!!! Why wouldn’t it be equal, both kids deserve a Christmas and how would you feel if he bought his kid more gifts and your daughter had to just sit there watching his kid open all these extra gifts.
BOTH KIDS SHOULD BE TREATED EQUAL!!! When you are in a relationship with someone has kids you take on a roll in that child’s life. You dont deserve to marry him if you act like this towards his child!
Lakeija Miller what is your opinion?
If you can’t treat his children like your children then move on. There’s no point to this relationship.
If that’s how you feel, you shouldn’t date a man with kids. If You can’t help you feel that, you still have some maturing to do. It’s as if he was to come home and bought food for only one child, why would that be ok knowing there are 2 kids? Sounds more it’s to slight the mother than it is to slight the child. That’s pretty bad.
They need to get an equal set of gifts. Your boyfriend has every right to be upset. If you don’t see that, don’t be in a relationship with him. Simple. I don’t think you’d like it if the shoe was on the other foot. My nephew was in a situation like that for the longest time and it made him sad. He didn’t understand why my sister’s ex and his parents would treat him differently than the other kids. One year for Christmas, the ex and his parents only got my nephew one gift while the others got five each. It’s not fair that you’re doing this to his daughter as well. Sorry, not sorry.
If you don’t want to step up and be a step mother you should get the fuck out. You just wasting him n his daughters time.
I dont care who a person is you should treat the children that is not yours as your own if your going to be in a relationship with some one that has kids
Yes you are wrong…
Why yes, yes it is wrong.
For those saying hes just an on and off boyfriend that shes in the right then they shouldnt be around each others children! Period. Why put them through your on and off bullcrap ? If they cant stay stable then leave kids out allll together! Toxic
It’s not your resposibility, yrue!! How ever you shouldn’t make the children suffer!!
Caty Hutchings Bergeron
Okay thats wrong though. Children don’t deserve that. You should buy equal for ALL kids.
He needs to be buying for his son also…its not your responsibility to buy everything for both kids if you dont share finances.
My boyfriend doesn’t have children. We have been together so long that he considers mine his. He contributes to anything they need. We don’t live together and he makes sure the light bill is paid so the we have lights. He says since he loves me and since the kids are apart of me, he loves them. Kids don’t see a difference in themselves but know when they’re treated differently. I know it’s not the same situation but just saying as long as love is being shown, that’s awesome!
Each child should be treated equal, when you are in a relationship with someone with kids, they are now your kids, and should be treated as such
If their having Xmas in the same house I would never make a Kidd feel less than they all get the same my blood or not your petty that poor kid
Is this a joke? When you date someone it means you accept their child as your child and treat them the exact same. What the hell is wrong with you? I feel so bad for his kid if you have that kind of mentality.
Children are simple and only see it as favoritism. You should make it even for the sake of the kids…
Hell yes you are wrong!