My boyfriend gets mad that I buy my daughter more things for Christmas than his: Am I wrong?

Lmfao y’all sound so entitled
Get what you get and dont get upset!

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it’s not even his kid either you got her a gift and if it was his kid it would be different who is taking care of a kid from a previous relationship yall crazy

If you love the child like your own then you treat him/her as such :point_left:t3:

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Wow, that’s incredibly wrong! My boyfriend treats my son like his own, we have a son together & they both get an equal amount of gifts, you don’t treat your child better than his. You’re a child yourself by the sounds of it.

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Personally I think your wrong. Children are the innocent ones here. If your not willing to date a person with children and treat their children as if they are part of your family then you don’t need to be dating someone with children.

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Idk I can see both sides to this. You should treat his kids exactly how you treat your own. However, they also have their mother buying them gifts. Maybe you could have an equal amount for them when they open them together and then have the rest hidden for until the other kid goes home. Imagine how the kid would feel seeing that they didn’t get as much as the other kid

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Is he buying your child gifts? Or just his? Is he struggling financially? There’s a bit missing here

You should treat them equally. What my mom did is set an equal budget, but it didnt have to be the same amount of gifts. If one wanted lots of small cheap things she used the money that way and if one kid wants one expensive thing she did it that way. I hope that makes sense

If he did the same thing to u, u would call him an ass hole

To be honest. Last year I think my kids got a little bit more then my boyfriends kids only because my kids woke up at my house and santa also came. This year neither sets of kids will be here to wake up christmas morning so they all will be recieving about the same amount of gifts. Same goes for birthdays. None of our kids are treated lesser then the other. However my boyfriend financially helps with getting gifts. If your boyfriend is expecting you to do it all by yourself that’s not fair. He should help with providing for the gifts.

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Wow!! You’re definitely in the wrong… You should treat your spouses children as if they were your own. Especially after being together for 5 years now… Come on

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We try to buy equally for our kids. We both have kids from a previous marriage but I treat his kids like my own and vice versa. We even buy a little something for a child that’s not either of ours biologically but he’s the brother of his kids. That’s just how we do things.

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It’s not the kids fault. Omg poor kid :confused: so if he treats his own better than yours Is it fair?? They should get an equal amount. You sound like a petty kid and I feel bad for both of them
Kids you got.

HE’S AN ON AND OFF BOYFRIEND! Not her responsibility to care for said child. He is a wish washy boyfriend. You’re not to care for responsibility of said child. You are not engaged, you are not married, and being back and forth isn’t a serious relationship.

Unpopular opinion: Your kid is your kid until married, you are not to take responsibility for said kid if the relationship isn’t serious, which it seems not. Your biological kid comes before any others.

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You need to go find someone w out any kids cuz WTAF

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Idk. Altho i see your point. I also see the little girls side, dependi g on age that might hirt her feelings. Maybe bring up to the dad how much you plan on spending on your daughter so he can get his what he thinks she deserves

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Yes, you’re wrong. Think about how the other kid feels…

Thats sad. Thats a cruel thing to do to kids. I’m surprised your boyfriend stays with you with that attitude. When and of he decides to marry you … Is this attitide towards his children going to continue?

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I personally feel he should buy for his and you buy for yours. Y’all aren’t married. You obviously aren’t together financially. To all the ones saying kids shouldn’t suffer well that is on the dad! Not her!! He should make sure his kids are straight. That is part of being a parent. Why should her kid do without just because he has another child!! If it was a need not a want it would be different.

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My boyfriend and I have kids a year apart he has a 3 year old daughter I have a 4 year old son. The kids are treated the same. You should never make a child feel like they arent as loved as the other. Maybe you should stop buying gifts and just spend time together to learn about what really matters

Your wrong . why are you with him n e ways ? Why are you both with each other it seem like you Guys aren’t doing well at all . On and off? Yeah y’all dont seem like it’s working Out and then the kids situation mmm that’s the problem there .

I was a little lost with this post. If you don’t value your boyfriend or his kid(s), time to leave. It’s not that hard.

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I think it really depends on a few things. How long you’ve been together and if you celebrate together.

If you are in a solid, committed relationship, they arent yours or his kids… you’re a family, meaning they are all your kids.

Or if you all celebrate together. Having the kids open presents together and having a big imbalance is just mean to the kids on the lower receiving end.

Bottom line, Christmas is a time for giving but also a time for reflecting on the kind of family you are building. If you feel resentful about buying gifts for your boyfriend’s kids multiple years in a row… it might not be your future because after years you haven’t built a relationship enough to want to give the same to them.

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Buy them the same amount even if it’s not the same money ammout hey don’t see this way they see as one got more then the other one :slight_smile: both should have the same wether it’s your child together or not all the kids are important

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If he’s off and on y’all need to grow up and decide what y’all want instead of doing that to the kids. It’s not the kids fault y’all act like teenagers. If y’all are having the kids together for holidays they should be treated equal. This is what I’m scared of if me and my kids dad ever broke up :woman_facepalming:t3:

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Um…i dont care WHOS CHILD is at MY home for Christmas, they are getting treated as if they are mine. Every child gets treated even in my house, NO BABY deserves to be punished or left out of fun, period. Much less on Christmas.

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its not that she didn’t buy his kids nothing! Jesus! She just bought her daughter more. Like gimme a break. He should be buying his kids presents. And know equal them out. Why is she solely responsible for how many gifts his kids got . she’s not a piggy bank. Dude sounds like a loser

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Kids should be treated the same if you all are together… I wouldn’t wanna be with someone that wasn’t that way :woman_shrugging:

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Could you imagine if that was your daughter on the other end? Not giving fair treatment? Ewh, you’re not only wrong, you’re heartless. & I feel bad for your boyfriend & his child.

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I would be upset too. It should be even that’s ur step child show the love lol

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We have a daughter 8 and a son 4. Both of ours from previous relationships. We make sure that our kids get treated equally and fairly which includes presents. They get the same amount each for everything

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Yes you are wrong. It’s about the kids. All kids deserve to be treated equally. Think about the children and how they feel. When you chose that man you also chose his children. Time to act like it!!! I feel bad for them kids if that’s they way you treat them!!! Not right at all!!!

Honestly I’d do for both the same tbh and even if my daughter got 1 extra gift I’m sure her mom is gonna buy her gifts too. Now If the mom isnt then I’d get them the same . But the father should be doing just as much for his kid :woman_shrugging: so if the mom or the dad isnt buying that baby no gifts then you should be having a different discussion and if he isnt buying your kid nothing then I’m sorry but why are u obligated to do for his (I mean I would just cause that’s a kid and she dont know no better just that its Christmas ) but still it’s the point

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He needs to leave u then because at end of the day ur in a relationship with her dad it should be joint effort they should be treated the same, imagine if he left ur daughter out. Selfish

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If you don’t love that child like your own, you shouldn’t be in the relationship. You’re selfish. You and him being on and off isn’t an excuse to not take care of the child the way you take care of your own.

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Is he buying her daughter as much as he buys his kids? Clearly not. He clearly ain’t buying much of anything from the sound of it

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So, my fiance has a son. He doesn’t live with us. I’m not sure if your boyfriends child lives with you or not. I went out of the way for 3 years spending ALOT of money on him at christmas. Now, he doesn’t come visit us at all for various reasons. This year I am getting a $100 visa card, if he decides to come on Christmas he is to stay with us until stores open and we will take him to let him spend the money on what he wishes. Otherwise, he won’t be getting anything because I don’t have the money to spend on a child I don’t see. He won’t be there to play with toys or wear the clothes so why bother. That’s my situation. However when he was coming every second weekend he always got a good amount at Christmas. The same my child is getting. It’s equal. But it also has different factors.

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He should be buying for his kids to make it equal dudes a loser

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:santa: No kid should be treated differently. … However we don’t know the living or visiting or financial situation. First of all I see that yall are NOT Married not sure if yall even live together and Why isn’t this Man buying for his own Child?? Too many questions… it is ultimately his responsibility to provide for his child. If both kids live at the house that you both share & they are Both in the home full time and share Christmas with yall together then - YES - they should get equal… :gift: But that doesn’t mean your Responsible for Buying it ,or everything ( or )All his childs Christmas gifts… He needs to financially support this for his childs Christmas… Does his child live with Mom and get a Big Christmas & only visit him occasionally or visit yall occasionally. Either way yall are NOT Married he is the Daddy and he should be Financially capable of Providing the needs of his Child for Christmas. :christmas_tree: If yall live together then there is no reason not to shop together or discuss finances to make it happen… but, it isn’t Your personal or financial obligation :money_with_wings::heavy_dollar_sign: No it is not… but, Both kids need to be accommodated and taken care of… :mrs_claus:

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No wonder he’s an off and on bf. He probably feels like you don’t give two craps about his child. I have 2 bonus children and bought them the same amount of gifts as mine before I ever met them… if the child has Christmas at your house, yep, it should be even. That should not even be questioned.

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Ppl comments are ridiculous…like actually put some real thought into this before jumping down her throat saying she’s horrible and heartless

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Not wrong at all, she’s getting her main gifts at her Momma’s house

Ok how does that little girl feel? It’S NOT HER FAULT so I had 2 stepson and my daughter never did I buy more and trust me they counted

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Do you feed his child a smaller portion at dinner? When you go to the zoo do you only allow her to see part of the zoo while you take your daughter throughout the whole zoo? At movies do you buy your daughter snacks and leave her out? I’m guessing the answer is no to all of that, so why on earth would you do it at such a memorable time of year for children? That is absurd, you are with him so that means you are with his daughter, get that shit straight now or don’t marry him or date another individual with a child! I’m guessing if this was the other way around you would be here whining cause he did this to your daughter and you are sooo mad about it. Grow up and be an adult!

Honestly it sounds like you all are a blended family now. Does he treat your daughter like his own? Trust me, you don’t want those girls growing up resenting one another. They’re sisters for all intents and purposes. It probably hurts his feelings that you don’t see her that way.

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He should run far away from you you horrible bitch. Mine, yours and ours…all are considered ours and should be treated equally…unless some of the kids are adults.

Im just gonna be blunt here…your a fucking bitch…i have a blended family and my boyfriend does so much for my kids and he has a 11 yr old daughter who i treat n love as my own and we are making everything equal for all 4 of them…thats what u do…u dont act like a spoiled ass bitch on fb bitching about its not your job to buy his kid gifts…u need a kick n the ass…smh

It really depends. If you and your boyfriend live together and take care of the girls as if they were both biologically yours, then you are in the wrong. If you guys don’t live together and you don’t have a parent-like relationship with the other daughter, then I don’t think you are in the wrong. I’d buy her something small but her dad is the one who should be buying the majority for her. If you choose to help him out to make him happy that’s your choice. You have to decide if it’s worth the fight.

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Does the kid live with you??
Is the kid there "after Santa’s visit "?
In all do respect you sound like a heartless person. You expect your bf to buy for your daughter and take care of her but You dont feel like you have to buy for his because she has a mother, well doesnt your daughter have a father?

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If the boyfriends daughter lives with the mother then it’s the moms responsibility. Not hers that said daughter is getting presents from mother as well so what the fuck do you people mean it’s not fair or wrong. She did get her presents but got her daughter more. You don’t know it the biological father is involved. With her child does her boyfriend work ? At least she got his daughter something.

So if he’s been on again and off again for 5 years how does the kids handle that revolving door of one day you/him are together and the next not. Is there other people coming in and out of your life when you two are on the off? If it’s been five years and he obviously isn’t ready to make a strong commitment and stay around why would his kids take priority? Those poor kids going thru that constant cycle must be hard. I’d give him the ultimatum you would focus more on his kids if they were a constant in your life. It’s your money and you have your own to worry about, not those who might not be there tomorrow. If say this child is around when everyone is opening gifts i would say get them something small to unwrap with everyone else. Or wait to do presents before or after they leave…there are ways around this.

I would stick to the 4 present rule for everyone. Something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read. And if you don’t think of his kids as yours then yeah you shouldn’t even bother with the relationship after 5 years

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I would include the other child, all kids need love and acceptance. If him being equal with his Kids bothers you, then leave. But don’t be nasty to a child, it’s damaging.

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I have 3 kids and a step daughter. I bought MORE for my kids than her . but she doesnt stay with us amd again i have 3 she has 1… So you do you.

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Its wrong… you are basically telling the other kid you dont care as much about her. Children should be treated equally. Its psychology damaging to the kid. Put yourself in the child’s mind.

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I dont understand how this is even a question :flushed: I have 2 step sons and 3 of my own as well and they are all equal! Children notice everything that little girl will grow up to have negative feelings towards u! If u don’t see her as your daughter by now I think u should get out of her life!! Also it should be you and your partner buying for both your girls equally working as a family! That is what u are right??

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That’s wrong. You need to treat them both equally. You can spoil ur own daughter but do it when it’s just u and her… I would be mad at you as well. Your pretty much saying u dont care as much about the other girl.

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That is your child, believe me if he is that jealous you need to put his A$$ in the wind now because it will only get worse. Been there

You can always get them the same amount infront of everyone, then just get your daughter’s a few extra things in private, just between the 2 of you, so best of both worlds

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How would u feel if it was the other way round??

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There is not enough information to really say honestly. What I (single mom of 3) did with my kids was this:
We had Christmas morning together, then when my oldest daughter went to her Dad’s to celebrate, I did “second Christmas” with my younger two. Its fair because my oldest got presents twice, (me & then my ex husband and his family).
If this is similar to the OP’s situation, (his child gets two Christmas), then buying more for her own daughter is fair.

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Iam NOT going to attack you, You did say On and Off BOYFRIEND NOT HUSBAND! Maybe HE needs to be a bit more appreciative that you bought for his daughter at all, Last time I cked that’s not a GF obligation!

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Misread!
Absolutely he is right if both children are opening gifts In the same home Christmas morning…there should never be more for one child than the other! My God! That is just cruel…

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Understandable in my opinion

A lot depends on who the child lives with. The custodial parent should be the one furnishing the most. If both children live in the same house, then they should be given equal presents. I agree with Lydia Salerno.

There are so many things that could factor into this. But,if that child is with you guys Christmas morning opening gifts with your kid and you made her feel any less loved or cared about your sick.

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Wow. How old are you? That’s childish…and Christmas isn’t about damn presents anyway. If you’re going to be with someone, treat their kids like you treat your own. I’d be livid if my fiance did this to my oldest, “because he’s not his bio kid”.

Yes you are wrong. My shitty stepdad did this for 13 years. Do not get into a relationship with someone if you do not take the kids as a package deal. Either commit to her as your own or move the hell along.

There is nothing wrong with buying your daughter more because She’s your Daughter and He is only your Boyfriend. Have your own time for your Daughter to open up anything extra you wanted to give her when his Daughter isn’t around. You know your relationship with them. Make sure his Daughter gets some nice things from you. You’re not engaged either. I agree it would maybe upset the other girl but, does your Boyfriend buy each of the girls the same gifts?

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Yes. You are wrong. They are children. If you’re going to be with him then they are most definitely your responsibility too and you shouldn’t be treating them any different than your own.

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If she lives with u and ur bf for most of the time then yes I would say in this case u are wrong. Look at it this way. If u were at ur dads for Christmas and one child got 5 presents and u got 2 would that not hurt ur feelings? Would that make u feel less worthy? Would that not make u feel unloved?

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Such judgmental people… none of us know the whole situation, maybe boyfriend is a dick, maybe her child only has her, other child has a mom also so 2 houses she is getting presents at… and also no one said she is opening all said presents in front of this other child…

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U guys are together u should treat her as if she was ur own and if u dont wanna do that then find someone who doesnt have kids they should be treated equally

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If you are with him his kid is your kid you treat all of them the same you are responsible for all of them

Your her mother and if u want to buy her as much as u want u can, what is he buying for his own daughter ?
My boyfriend has a son and we dont see him at all because the mother is selfish childish and many of reasons I bought his son several gifts not as many as my daughter and she has never bought my daughter anything, christmas is about love not who got what and how many u be grateful for what you have received …

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My question is …is he buying for her child aswell or just solely relying on her to buy “ALL” the gifts. The post says nothing about the BF buying anything so That’s not fair, and what if his side of the family is bigger than hers than his child gets more where hers doesn’t. Just a though ya know, noone knows the whole situation & being judgmental isn’t right. In all fairness with it being and on off relationship it should depend on your bond with the child not the man

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No I don’t think so you are not a step mom. It’s your boyfriend. He can spoil his kids youe spoil yours.

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The way I see it is his has 2 Christmases and mine only has one house hold. So I do 2 Christmases for him too. One when the other two aren’t with u and 1 when they are. They get equal amounts together but I do but mine more privately. And he could buy some of he is that insecure. His money should definitely be going toward it too. Period

Yes you are totally wrong

I think this totally depends on if you live together, if the kids is at your house Christmas morning. If the abouve two are a yes, then the dad should be participating and paying for his kids Christmas.

They aren’t your responsibility unless you’re married. I think your right, its up to their mother to buy their Christmas. As a girlfriend, it would be nice of you to buy them each one gift.

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Really? Hun find a man not a child that is going to throw a tantrum because you bought your daughter more presents then him, what does he want a new Barbie as well?

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Yep that’s wrong in my opinion. Pretty much everyone that agrees hit the nail on the head. Kids should be equals when it comes to blending families. Smh

Look my own blood kids dont even get equal amount of gifts at Christmas. Tf is this “equal amount” shit?

Yes youre wrong. It should be equal. His kid becomes your kid and vice versa…

I have 1 child from a previous relationship and 2 with my current SO we get all of the children the same number of gifts so that nobody feels left out or less cared for… the child doesn’t understand biological or not if you 2 are together all of the children should be considered equal by both of you. No favoritism

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I got my girls more on Christmas. With that being said my ex gets the boys every year for Christmas. So he loads them down with gifts and they are not here when the girls open gifts. However, if a step child, , niece, nephew or whatever is with you on the holiday it is wrong not only as a mother figure but a human being to make one child feel left out or less special than another.

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Speaking from the kids perspective, you are very wrong. Kids notice being treated differently.

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I buy all the kids the same amount. It’s unfair and they feel unloved if you don’t. Step or not. They are your children too.

Don’t teach the children to hate. It’s not the children fault if they have an a**hl parents…
Teach the children about love and kindness…
We do need a better place to live in…

Doesn’t the childs father purchase gifts for his child? Does he purchase things for yours? It should be equal, but he should be paying his share!

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Please leave this man!! You are not step mom material and you sound like a selfish wench!!! You have zero business being with a man with children with that attitude. The fact you’ve been with him for 5 years and have this attitude is even more concerning.

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Do you and your boyfriend live together?
Do you celebrate Christmas together?
Does your child and his open presents during the same time frame?

If yes to ANY of these questions the answer is YES. You are being selfish. She should be treated like family and like she belongs. She should be shown love and kindness…Not this petty bitchiness you seem to feel about a CHILD.

Id kick my husband to the curb in a heartbeat if he acted like that about my oldest son. Thankfully he’s an awesome step parent. Who really loves my son.

Children should be treated equal no matter what. My bf and I each have 2 kids and they are always treated equally no matter what.

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Do y’all live together? Celebrate Christmas together? How active are you in his child’s life? How active is he in your child’s life? There is way to much information missing to really be able to answer this.

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Well, does he only buy for his? Or is he making you do all gifts? Does he buy your daughter stuff?
If you’re both buying for both girls, then yes, why would you intentionally give/do more for yours?
If you’re responsible for yours and he’s only responsible for his, and they’re opening then together on same day, then make it even. Kinda sad to a kid to see one get more/better than the other.

There’s a lot of missing information here. You can be wrong, or you can be right. It depends on a lot of different factors. Do y’all live together? Does he buy his daughter Christmas gifts? Does he buy yours Christmas gifts? Are both kids opening gifts together? I mean, I can’t cast judgement when there are pieces missing.

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How much does he buy your daughter? :eyes::eyes:

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Whoa i just reread it and she said THEIR so that means MULTIPLE KIDS

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Until you guys get married and legally adopt those children then no you’re not wrong

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