U should Go. He’s an ass.
My advice to you (if you don’t want to feel like you just gave up) is for you guys to try and talk about it. If he doesn’t want to listen to you or change, he should leave. You and your baby don’t need that toxicity. What’s the point of being with someone who makes you feel and be like a single parent in the relationship? Based on what I’ve read, your husband sounds like a jerk and the relationship is VERY one sided with him. I hope you can do what’s best for you and the baby and please don’t let his negativity taint the memories of the beautiful miracle that you just brought into the world. His world should revolve around you two and it makes me sad it doesn’t. Best of luck to you, hun
Run, momma, run.
He sounds vindictive and emotionally draining. If he doesn’t want to help you when you’re recovering from having your body sliced open and stitched back up then he’s a loser who doesn’t deserve you.
Plus putting your worth in your appearance? Absolute scum.
He sounds like a vile person that you would be better off without.
Ur gonna be hurt regardless if you stay or leave. Do what’s best for you and your child! If you stay the hurt will last a life time. If you go it’ll only be temporary until u heal and move on!!
I think you already know your answer if you debating between the two
OMFG! He sounds like an awful person! You just had his baby and you had major surgery! Please go be with people that love you and will care for you momma!
That’s not a marriage anymore honey if you just had a baby you need to adjust hell my husband found me at my most beautiful when I was pregnant and after giving birth he was there every step of the way ya I did most things after my last was born 6 months because I felt ok I had a vaginal unmedicated birth have with all 4 so I knew what it’s like and my limits but my husband has always had my back and me his hell when he got attacked 6 months back when my youngest was 3 weeks old I protected him he still got a broken jaw and a small brain clot I saved him From getting hurt more and yes I was taking care of him in the months he been healing but he still took care of me and he didn’t let him having his face swollen and is wired shut from holding the kids holding me honestly I think you should leave it’s not worth the fight your baby needs more and better my older 2 ain’t my husbands I stayed single for a long time worked on myself and let myself heal and found someone so so much better who loves all the kids and me more than anything it hurt leaving my kids dad but it was the best thing iv ever done for me and my family
Sorry but he sounds like a POS… My husband didnt want me doing anything before and after my C-section… if he doesnt understand that this is major surgery then you dont need him… You need to take care of yourself at least for the first 2 weeks and even after that… If he doesnt care then you shouldnt either and leave… By the sounds of it hes already hurting you…
What a pos for a man. Im so sorry. I would leave his ass. Fuck him
What is it with these men just shitting on their wives? I hear it time and time again. Do men seriously think trying to be attractive after the birth of a baby is even on the priority list? It just blows my mind. If he can’t support you in your most vulnerable moments, then he never will. What will he do when you’re both old and grey and god forbid you’d have some sort of health issue and needed support and someone to care for you? Sounds like he wouldn’t be there for you. If not now, not ever
Start over…without him…he’s probably hooking up elsewhere…
You just had a baby. If he is that heartless and his phone is more important than pack you and baby up and leave. You deserve better. That’s awful I’m sorry he’s a POS
if you have that feeling deep inside that he does not love you you need to move on and he should appreciate you giving birth to his child and help you more a man should never tell a woman she’s unattractive especially the mother of his child
Sounds like you’re already hurt.
Leave and build a new beautiful life for you and that new sweet baby of yours!
You outta leave once your wound heals … had a cs session as well and my hubby was in charge of everything even if i insisted to help …
You need to leave! He is a narcissistic asshole that thinks the world revolves around his ass. He very well could be cheating on you. I would call a friend or family member that can come be with you or that you can stay with till you are fully healed up. Fuck him and his childish ass. Take that baby somewhere it will be loved and cared for right!
Honestly, take it easy do what you can & rest! You just had a baby & c-section. You need time to heal! If you’re husband doesn’t understand that, then that’s too bad. Tell him you just had your insides taken out & put back, you need your rest. Tell him he either needs to step TF up or Get TF out.
I’ve ALWAYS said, if you gotta do it all by yourself (while in a relationship), you’d be better off doing it by yourself without a relationship. You and that baby should be his world. He sounds like a selfish manchild.
Leave his sorry ass! He dosnt help you what’s the point of keeping him! Your already doing it all on your own! Hopefully you will have the help and support of your family.
Live your life as if he is not there. In everything you do don’t include him. Don’t cook for him, don’t do his laundry, and don’t make plans that include him. Don’t ask his permission for anything and don’t ask for his advise!
I’m in the same boat my boyfriend doesn’t help me with our son. Sleeps on the couch so he doesn’t get woken up by the baby or me getting up to feed him. Barely holds him throughout the day. When i leave for an hour and come back he’ll ask me if i wanna take over.
There’s a lot of comments on here & im not sure if you’ll even see half of them. But know you are BEAUTIFUL & YOU ARE STRONG & you made a major sacrifice risking your life having major surgery to deliver a healthy baby. My husband was the opposite when I had my c-section so I can’t relate to the pain your feeling. But NO “man” should ever make the mother of his child feel that way. If I was you I’d leave, and realize your self worth! Congratulations on that beautiful baby & I hope for a speedy recovery! Sending prayers & positivity!
Having a c section is a huge surgery how would he feel if you made him go to work a week after a huge surgery don’t push yourself I know people who did and there stitches broke open as far as him not finding you attractive he can shove it you just had his child it’s not about him this moment you can’t even have sex at this moment anyways so there no reason he should think your attractive and honestly I would look at his phone he might be talking to girl secretly and make sure you really investigate not saying he is but the way he’s always on his phone and then saying your not attractive makes me think he’s up to no good
Lift up ur shirt and say take responsibility. It took 2 of u too have a baby. U had surgery and he needs to stay off his phone when hes at home!
Take charge tell him this isnt a time for him to fail. He needs to get his big boy pants on and help
Does he still look good? Seriously after he said something so heartless and cruel. I’d look at him and be repulsed you just had a major surgery bringing his and your baby in to this world and he can treat someone (whose given him the best gift he will ever get) like absolute garbage !. He ,himself is utter trash and doesn’t deserve you. I’d never be able to look at my husband with respect and love if he ever said that to me. You really need to take a long look at your relationship honestly and with perspective show yourself love and not worry with him .he sounds selfish. I’d bide my time saving money behind his back to leave just saying
First of all you’re already being hurt and you will continue to get hurt until you put your feet down. Starting over or moving is never easy but right now no one else matters but your baby and you.
Girl GO!!! if those are his actions then sounds like you already know the truth deep down. You need to be happy with your new baby. Also congrats!
Go baby! Take your little and GO. Your husband should be building you up not tearing you down.
I hope you find the strength to leave. Your husband might be in the house, but it sounds like hes already left you.
He straight up told you he’s not into you anymore. Time to leave.
Hes a deadbeat. Drop him and see if any family can help you.
Reach out to your friends and family for support.
You will hurt so much less if you leave
Do u for ur kids and urself. Divorce his ass and get them coins sis. Now is not the time for him to be throwing hints that he kickin it with someone else… The door sis. The door. Let him know his stuff is outside!
Kick him to the curb. He’ll never change. Do you have family close by who could help you while you recover?
He’s no husband. He’s garbage.
He broke up with you already after saying that to you. Time for your exit strategy. Start preparing to be independent. Go find you a real man. Good luck lady.
Your husband should be taking care of you not tearing you down. Take care of yourself and baby and get out ASAP!
You need to leave him! Fuck him! I feel so bad for you because he has the nerve to say that shit after giving him a baby. My hubby took on everything after I had our son. He even cleaned up blood when I was trying to shower. I’m sorry you have to go through that. Kick his ass to the curb!!! You deserve so much more!
Oh man. You HAVE to be down for 2 weeks straight!!! That’s not okay. You will never heal! You had major surgery! You can’t even drive for 2 weeks. I am so sorry. I have had two of them and my husband took care of me while working as well. I am so sorry. I know the pain you are in. Emotionally and physically. I would suggest trying to stay with a family member. This is for sure one surgery you HAVE to give your self time to heal from. Or else it will never heal properly and it could hinder your ability to have kids in the future. Again I am so sorry. and as for your husband clearly he is a prick and doesn’t deserve you!
Leave his sss sounds like you’re already doin it by yourself you deserve better
Sounds like your husband already left you… its gonna hurt baby… just deal with it how you can and glow up hun
What a jackass definitely separate until you’re on your feet again & try to get counseling so you avoid postpartum depression. Your baby will need you to remain mentally stable.
Do you have family near by that you and the baby can stay with at least until you recover? Or even a good friend? If so, i would go. Doesn’t have to be anything permanent unless you want it to be, I was just thinking for a couple months until you are healed.
My ex treated me the exact same way and i left him when our daughter was 6 months old bcz I seen him physically abuse her over the video monitor that he didnt know was on. It’s been a very stressful 2 years after but I’m finally finding peace within myself and peace for my daughter
You are a beautiful Mummy
Having just had a baby, in pain, not enough sleep, is not the time to make big decisions. But it is the time to take care of you and your baby. If you have anyone who you can reach out to for help, now is the time. You can make big decisions later.
You just had major abdominal surgery. You need to heal. He needs to leave.
Leave when are you waiting for women don’t need to take that stuff anymore
A c section is major abdominal surgery. Stop doing anything except caring for you and the baby!
Oh sweetie. I’m so sorry u have to go through this after having a baby. Well it just comes right down to it. Pack up you and your baby and move on.good luck. God bless.
Please don’t listen to the people saying leave!
Mental health illnesses are running rampant. So many people aren’t being seen by a doctor. He has some type of “issue” bc CLEARLY he exhibits the behavior. Tell him he needs an evaluation. He has to help himself before anyone else. So to you… be strong Momma sometimes when we can’t find enough effort to hold it all together… we always end up finding it. You guys are a team… that’s why you got married. If he refuses… then address other solutions.
Ur already hurt honey, start planning ur getaway now! For ur baby if not 4 u…
Well of all the fucked up things I have fought with my husband about I can say that he did help me after giving birth all 3 times and if you’re wondering how much of an ass he is we’re currently not on talking terms because he thinks it’s ok for the dogs to sleep outside at night, last week it was 26 degrees, I think it’s currently in the low 40s during the day.
Go. Fuck him. Let em feel what he’s lost.
He most deff has a side bitch!
What do you mean you are staying with your husband? Seriously. Why would you want to be with him after not helping you, not having time for you and the baby, and talking to you this way??
Everyone here just says LEAVE. They don’t understand sometimes things are easy to say then done.
You can’t just pack yourself and leave. Think of your child. I can totally understand it can be hard. That doesn’t mean you should quit.
Have you thought of marriage counseling?
Leave. You don’t deserve that!
Another clear case of when women aren’t choosing their partner correctly and it ends up biting them in the butt.
Move on girl. Lifes top short to be giving two fucks about his ass.
I feel like you guys are running on sleep deprivation and just hanging in for dear life as most new parents are. Look up the effects of sleep deprivation and stress and you may understand your hubby’s inappropriate and mean comments. Try to be understanding as next time you may be the one to snap at him and say something awful. Marriage is hard. I wouldnt walk away over a comment. Watch to see how he copes with fatherhood and communicate. You guys probably have somethig worth fighting for and I wouldn’t walk away unless he was abusive as his character and not just his behavior this week.
Also, get out the house and go have coffee with your girlfriends and get your hair done. He needs to bond with baby and you need to remember you matter too
I’d be leaving … Do you have family that would take you and baby in while you heal ? Start saving up and move out . If your single while having him there you may as well be …
I would make him leave and he can also pay your house pmt and you and the baby need insurance, he can also give you grocery money, the list goes on. Tell him all this and maybe he won’t leave. But don’t you dare leave that house??..
I would have a hard time not taking something to his face and packing up and peace . BUT you just had a child and what not … I would say if he’s willing to try couples counselling I would give that a try. That way he can have shit explained to him also by someone else so it’s not just coming from you. I find sometimes men need a wake up call or to hear from someone else . There not the smartest! Women tend to think of everything and everyone … men not so much. But if he ain’t willing to try anything or listen to you at all then he clearly doesn’t care and I would focus my time and energy on healing, baby, and starting over and doing you! There’s many men out there who know how to treat women! Don’t be scared! Xoxo
The thing is it could change for you and good for the child if you left . Staying is not good for your health or personal wellbeing or the child
dont listen to the crazy’s saying leave, talk to him first and try work it out things out! its way to easy for ladies to just leave now a days then work on things!.
I’m sorry to hear this! I had a c section 2 months ago and I couldnt imagine doing everything myself! I would not tolerate it at all! I know you love him but I know the pain you are going through! I would talk to him first then go from there! It’s easier to walk away than to fix things. Be honest and go from there. It is not easy!
Leave it’ll be hard at first but it’ll get better.
Talk to him. Take him to a dr appointment and have the dr talk to him. In the meantime, don’t do anything you shouldn’t be doing that would endanger your recovery. If he doesn’t have clean clothes or has to make his own dinner, he’ll learn quick that he needs to help you.
Was he this way before bub or just after birth? Men get post natal depression too, especially first time dad’s who witness traumatic births, its a huge change for him too, you need to work out of he’s just an asshole or if he’s struggling mentally
just stop doing everything. That is the answer and have him talk to the dr about the orders of bed rest and light duty while your recovering from that , that a very painful thing to go through and that not fair to you that he making you do all the house work and not tending to you that very selfish so man up and take over brother if your going to be having kids welcome to parent hood bro or get fixed if you can not handle being a dad and a husband.
He sounds like a douche bag to me. If he’s already said straight to your face he’s not attracted to you and is always on his phone more than likely he is already seeing someone else.
Of you don’t want to be hurt them leave this man. He is no good for you or your children. My daughter just had a c-section and her husband does everything for her. Washed dishes helps with the housework anything to make it easier for her. Now that’s love and this man even says he doesn’t love you, leave this lowlife and make something for you and your kids. Otherwise you will never get the respect you so deserve and if you stay with him the next ones that won’t respect you will be your kids. Do the right thing, you’ll get over him and you will be so much more happier in the end.
…wow, you gave birth to his child. take half of his stuff and go.
If I’m not mistaken, you are not supposed to life anything heavier than a jug of milk until the doc clears you otherwise. If he won’t pitch in, then things just won’t get done for him. Don’t injure yourself because he won’t grow up and be a partner in this. Make sure the baby and yourself are taken care of. He can take care of himself for now.
There is more I could suggest but it’s been a week so I don’t want to say anything that could become permanent for the time being. But while I know you are needing emotional and physical support right now, I would seek those from others who care about you since he won’t step up. I understand he is hurting your feelings, but you need to be putting your time and energy into taking care of yourself and the baby. Full stop. Maybe he’ll get over it, maybe he won’t. But don’t waste what resources you have on him and what he needs and what he thinks you should be doing for him. He can take care of himself. Be strong and stay focused on yourself and the baby.
Def let the doc know what’s going on. He/she might have some helpful advise as well.
Oh hun I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You are beautiful you deserve so much more. He is a huge disgusting pig. Please it isn’t impossible to be a single mum an in fact some ways a lot easier. Been a scared young single mum who had a c-section once apon a time so I do truly understand. You’ve got this. You an bubba deserve better and you will find a great guy who loves you and bubs. Wishing you all the best
7 years of marriage, 4 children, and many arguments later, my husband has never said I’m not attractive. Not EVER. That would hurt my soul. Im so sorry you’re dealing with this. Maybe you and him need a night out together alone to figure things out.
Leave him. That’s a boy not a man.
I know its hard because you might still love him. But I would leave. I’d rather be alone with my child then to be lied to constantly
Wow… I’d just leave. That’s just disrespectful and a completely shitty thing to say. And to a woman who gave birth by c section no less.
Wow what an ass! I’d leave.
I would kick his ass out he shouldn’t be telling you shit like that. Make him pay all the Bill’s and child support
Open the fuckiimng door and let him go he anit worth the tolet paper to wipe his ass
Relax and let him play on his phone. Take a break and only do what you need to do for you and your baby. Outside of that tell him to screw off. Hes being mean for no reason just ignore it. Sounds like he’s a complete asshole since he knows you’re not in a position to do anything about it hes hitting where it hurts. Ur still beautiful dont listen to his hurtful words.
It sounds like you are already hurt.
Call his mother tell on him see what happen i said can you come and stay 2 week your son does knoww what it mean to be father please but he got asswhole down pat
Leave his dumb ass !
Leave! Better for you and the baby
he already hurt you! Go to your mum’s or someone you can trust
Do you prefer to stay in a loveless marriage? Sweetie maybe you should consider moving on.
get out your better off
Id leave him and take the baby
Leave that man… you know a person true colors when you need them most… don’t let him show again… focus healing and your new blessing
Life’s too short to waste it on someone like that.
common sense people…
I went though this with my ex- ended up splitting open my scar because of it
If he doesn’t pick up his game, leave. He won’t change
What a selfish prick. He’s not the ONE for you. Be with family to help you out get surrounded by love as new bubba an you don’t need a loser. Tell him he’s a ugly piece of shit while your at it. He will regret it once your on a great path and happily married to a lovely man.
Him speaking to you that way is already hurting you.