Kick him to the curb let his mother teach him some lessons
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First of all, FUCK HIM! You just had major surgery! And are also taking care of a newborn and you need to rest! When I got home from having my son via c section I was stressing because I was used to having my husbands breakfast, lunch and dinner ready at a specific time every day and having his uniform laid out every morning along with his coffee and making sure the house was spotless. I thought I still had to do so until one day he almost snapped on me and told me to go to sleep and heal. If he can’t see that you are healing he is selfish and obviously does not deserve you. Do you have anybody nearby that you can go stay with ? that way you can relax and focus on recovering, getting rest and taking care of your baby?
That is very unfortunate, sweetie. Im so sorry for his actions. I will be having my 3rd csection soon and i know vulnerability is at an all time high after the procedure. It sounds like it’s time to have the talk about your futures together. I know he’s your husband and you couldn’t imagine living without him but for your own mental and physical health it’s time to talk. Im sorry. I hope it all works out for the best.
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Get out now. Don’t hesitate. Or you will lose yourself and you may never get that part of you back.
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tell him to go fuck himself & leave & leave now 
I was in the EXACT same position and it took me almost 5yrs to finally decide to leave. If i were given a 2nd chance - i would leave the second i was physically able to. Do you want your child to see you get mistreated???
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Leave him you don’t need all that.
Leave him. You gave him a child and he treats you like that? That’s not on.
Leave him. He shouldn’t talk to the mother of his child that way. You just got cut open to bring forth yalls child. He should be helping around the house so you don’t strain yourself and end up not healing.
Marriage counseling. Some men can’t imagine having sex with the mother of their baby, or he’s feeling guilty you went through so much to bear him a child, he’s overwhelmed by the responsibility of being a father & he’s freaking out. Once he gets some professional counseling they can help him make sense of his feelings & hopefully he will get back to being reasonable.
In the meantime, do you have friends or other family who could help you out? How does hubs feel about the baby? He ignores your little one too?
If his behavior persists after a few months of counseling, im sorry, you’ll have to call it quits.
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Sounds like you are already hurt.
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I recently gave birth 2 months ago and with the stress of my oldest messing up in school, my SO totally focused on him and not what I just went thru.
I feel your pain.
But as for not finding you attractive bc you just had HIS child is nonsense!
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Definetly leave him. He sounds horrible!!!
That’s terrible and wrong. Hope you do something about it instead of keep being treated like that.
What do u mean u don’t wanna be hurt?? You already ARE being hurt… kick his arse OUT!
I do not believe in letting anyone disrespect you. Stay and the verbal abuse will continue. Get out now and decide what is best for you and baby. Good luck.
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I think you are already hurt or you wouldnt be posting. Get out now doll. A better life awaits.
Go and dont come back hes so mean
Ask for advice if you’re going to take it, or at least what bits you can work with for a better result. But, I had this experience with my first baby and the dude never changed. Sounds like your husband has underlying issues that he hasn’t disclosed and you really don’t need to wait around to find out what they are. Don’t worry about the house, take care of baby. Try not to worry about what the house looks or feels like just keep baby a priority and you will find your routine soon enough. Managing a new born, a new body, a house, sanity and health, bills etc is such a hard job and if he can’t pull up now, when it’s needed most, he never will!!! Been there, done that!
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Haven’t you already been hurt? He doesn’t love you… or the baby it seems. Get out and tell your family and see a lawyer. You need financial support and emotional support.
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Leave him. He sounds like total idiot treating you like that.
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your hurting either way… id leave… go stay with family or something while you heal and until you can get your own place…
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He’s cheating on U, he’s an ass
The vows said through sickness and health. Baby God will help you. Ask him to guide your steps and he will do just that. I would get rid of him. Sorry that’s the type of woman I am. He is no good you. You deserve better. 
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By the way, I pray your healing and strength young lady. Get better, call family and get to a place where you can heal. He does not love you. Get him out of your life. 
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Pack your bags and keave
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Leave. And don’t look back.
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Oh goody. Another self-centered immature man. Hard for me to want to make you feel better when he isn’t ready to take on family responsibilities. So YOU are no longer attractive to him and have a scar from something he did. I know this hurts but dump him. He,s unsalvable.
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you should stay tell that lazy selfish son of a B. to go x
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Him telling you you’re not attractive because of a csection proves how incredibly shallow he is.
Him being on his phone all of the time shows how self absorbed he is.
Him not helping you around the house, kissing you or paying attention to his new baby shows how selfish he is. Need I continue? His actions speak for themselves.
C-sections are major surgery. I had 4 and was cut vertically. You need to be focusing on resting and taking care of yourself and your baby, not this nonsense.
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Sounds like you are hurting all ready
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Ive had 3 so ive been there. My ex didnt help me either. Ended up breaking up was the best decision but very hurtful. Im afraid you have already been hurt and sounds like it wont get better. Count your losses before your raising 3 on your own instead of one…
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Is this your first child? Regardless how many you have you need his support. Sounds like he may have moved on if he lives on the phone and I think you should too. Let him do his own shit. He is scum! staying in this relationship you may very well be hurt and possibly your child/children. There are many people who will assist you. When you refer too hurt is it feelings or is he physical and or threats. Take care ,
I’m sorry you’re going through that! That’s awful. I would leave.
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Throw the whole husband away and leave depending on your situation if your able to
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Show him the door!!!
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Go stay with a relative that can help you. I’ve had 3 c sections and it’s hard we are recovering from major surgery and you need help until your body heals. As for your husband you can try counseling or just flat out ask him if he wants to still be married to you. Life is too short to be with someone who doesn’t respect you
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He juste doesn’t deserve you …YOU deserve BETTER
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leave his Mommy spoiled ass…or kick him out…tgen immediately apply for Support for you& ur BABY!!
GOOD LUCK SWEETIE!!
bc if he’s like this now, he’ll never help when your child is a teenager…and you’ll need HELP:wink:
What’s easy lost, isn’t worth having. Leave the jerk.
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Leave it isn’t worth staying with someone who doesn’t want you he will just keep doing what ever he wants to do
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Move on he is not a man he is a mouse and you should not want to be around him he is not a good example for your child
run and don’t look back do yourself and the baby a favor and dont raise it around such a sorry excuse for a person . Believe me you will be much better off and it’s hard to see that right now but you will lo after on
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Number one YOU JUST HAD A MAJOR SURGERY !!! You need help, find someone anyone if it’s not him so be it call the city and get a PSW to come in and help you there are services out there to assist you have family, call them right now and get someone to help you go there or them to come to you, speak up say something, the last thing you need is to lift something and bust open and then end up laying in the hospital, your husband don’t want to help no problem, don’t cook, clean or wash his clothes, delete his existence in your mind, he is a grown ass man who can care for himself, tf is he to tell you your ugly my dear you are the most beautiful person in this world and to that baby think about it his way if something is to happen to you, who will take care of the baby … him… lol!!! Yeah maybe some other time … I know that type all to well… love yourself and that new life that needs u… house is dirty who cares… your hungry order food if you can … groceries can be delivered to your door… do what you can shit I’ll come help you… I get so cheesed when I here stuff like this… good grief !!!
C-sections are very painful, plus you have your baby. Does he even care about the baby? Did he go to childbirth classes to realize this is major surgery? Look, you must have had some sort of what this guy’s head was at. Just call a family member, or get to a woman’s shelter. Don’t stay with that negativity of that jerk. This is supposed to be an awesome time for you and your baby. Get out as soon as you can. You and your baby are in my prayers 2nite. As for him, maybe a bus will get that little weasel. LOL
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Your first clue is you said you’re ‘staying’ with your husband. If you’re married it’s your house too. Most men dont know how to handle a woman who just went through so many physical changes. The best thing you can do is talk to him. Men are not always in tune with how to be of help with a new baby.
You’re already hurt. Leave. Then you can heal and find someone deserving of you and your child.
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Drop that piece of crap right away. He deserves to be alone. Packup clean out the bank account and go. File for divorce immediately.
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Him not helping you could’ve been resolved with a simple conversation…if he were a decent human being. Wouldn’t leave him because of that. All the other things he’s been doing though? The put downs, telling you you’re not attractive anymore, especially after just bringing HIS child into this world? He sounds like a jerk at the very least, not supportive, not uplifting, not investing in HIS relationship with YOU, just a ‘douche in husband’s clothing’. You deserve better! Think about your own happiness and how living in that situation will adversely affect you AND your children. As they grow they will see their momma’s self esteem whittled down to nothing, right before their eyes. Don’t subject yourself, or your kids to this. Personally (and I am speaking from experience) I’d rather be single than be treated like that. Wait for the man who will treat you as you deserve. You will be happier, and your kids will be too!
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He seems like a typical coward.
His laziness is enough to be angry. You have a wound that can open at anytime. That in itself is enough to leave. As for the “Im not attracted to you anymore” How can you still be attracted/want such a basic and ugly man? Raising/birthing a child is a miracle. If he doesnt want a part of it. Well that is his loss, and its a huge one.
What you do from here is ultimately your choice.
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He has already hurt you…he won’t change either…Let him go…Clearly he does not love you or respect you anymore…You and your baby deserves better than him.
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Fuck him leave his bitch ass. What a punk
Unfortunately this sort of thing happens with a man who is self-centered, self-absorbed, and superficial. I know first hand the hurt and pain you feel because I went through the same thing. I left my relationship and have never been happier…don’t get me wrong…it was the hardest thing I ever had to do …but I’m so glad I did! Not only for myself but for my child who doesn’t deserve a parent who is unhappy and in pain.
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I would tell him just what he could do it’s himself. You do not deserve that. Only a no good creep would tell a new mother, or any mother for that matter, that she’s not attractive anymore. And he can’t even kiss you? Hmmph, sounds to me like he has some extracurricular activity going on. You deserve way better. Take that baby and run. There’s somebody out there that will love you and that baby.
Same thing happened to me,all the signs were there but I stayed and had another child.He was never home and when he was he never helped.divorced after over 30 yrs.It wasn’t easy by any means but I am happy now.My children are successful and happy and I Thank God for that.
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Leave. He is not worth it. He will just get worst as time goes by. You deserve someone much better. Take care.
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Girl Bye…u can do better by yourself…
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Men like that make me sad
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Oh honey. He’s already gone. Let him go. You’ll be better off. I know it hurts.
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Leave and don’t look back. If your treated that bad when you have just had the baby ,how are you treated when your fine👀
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Go to a great lawyer…
What’s his story? I can’t give my opinion without both sides speeking up on there own behalf. And the story is short and vag.
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Run 
There is absolutely no excuse I do not care what anyone says!
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Get out he is not being a husbun or a father or a husbun am so sorry but some men are no good
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Tell him to leave and pay the bills so you can hire someone to help you. It is your house and evidently he does not love you or your beautiful child. Very sad 
. Do not leave you home !!!
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Hello, manchild disposal? Yes I need a pick up. Yes the whole manchild.
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Did he do anything befor?
I think this is very sad it should be a real special time in your lives, however if he really feels that way and isn’t going to treat you any better I think you should make the decision you will know what’s right, I understand you don’t want to get hurt but you still will if you decide to stay he won’t change, you can enjoy having your child without a man in your life .
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Maybe why he don’t want nothing to do to help u an the baby is maybe he having affair his attention is all on his phone what so important on that phone then his wife an new born baby u would think the husband would be thrill with baby around the house leave him with a messing house maybe he will change clean the house or not
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I’ve had 4 C-sections, you must take it easy for at least 6 weeks hun.Let your husband look after himself, you take care of yourself and your baby…Then I suggest when you have recovered, LEAVE HIM…
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He is PHYSICALLY hurting you…you just had a high risk surgery…you shouldn’t even be carrying over the weight of your baby or vacuuming !!! He is verbally and mentally abusing you by calling you names…does he know how easy it is to get and how harmful post birth depression is ???
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Sad. Makes you wonder who he’s talking to on the phone all the time. Take care of yourself and stay positive. If he does not change now the marriage may be unhappy. Leave him and make him pay child support and alimony if there is no change in him, so you can move forward.
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Just take care of yourself and the baby while you heal (let him scrounge for his meals). When you are healed, make a few appts. with as many Lawyers in town for a Consult on Child Support (& Divorce if applicable). There are PLENTY of single Mom’s desired by GOOD men!
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Run for the hills momma please
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This also happened to me. After having my daughter in 2015, got home and the place was a mess, dishes weren’t done, washing wasn’t done. I was so upset and in a lot of pain, plus drowsy from the medication. I asked him why he didn’t do anything. Response was, was gaming. I got so angry. I asked him to help. Yeh ignored me. So the same day I got home I cleaned, washed, did dishes, fed my little girl. Yeh he did look after her when I asked him to. But the housework, nope. I was so hurt. Pretty sure that was the beginning of the end of our relationship. It ended in 2016.
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Let’s just get one thing straight here. Your husband does not deserve you or your baby. Leave. Pack your things and your baby and get out. Or kick him out. NEVER stay with a partner who does not love and support you. He is NOT worthy of you.
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U already know the answer.
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Okay, so question, was he present at the C Section itself? Some men cannot handle seeing their wives cut open and are actually traumatized but too “manly” to admit it. In his eyes now, he can never unsee his wife’s internal organs so he may have adopted the mindset that you are damaged and not the woman he placed on a pedestal. It also sounds like y’all didn’t have a conversation or agreement about caring for the baby and house etc before the baby was born. Some of it is you having set a precedent and the other is him not managing his expectations appropriately, on top of just being a general asshole. I hate to say it but if he is on his phone all of the time and lashing out, he has already checked out of the marriage and may even be having an affair. Try some counseling first, some communication and expectations management can go a long way. But if he resists, get a tracker app on his phone pronto and get some good evidence of transgressions so when you do leave, he will be supporting you more than he is now.
I agree you already know the answer. I left my husband that was severely mentally and physically abusive. With two kids. They have safe houses at their group homes there’s also a group called women support services I believe. Making up set you up in a home. It’s not going to get any better if he doesn’t have compassion he can never care for you. And as for him talking on the phone all the time do you really need to know who he’s talking to? I think you already know the answer to that one too. If you don’t want to leave for yourself leave for your baby. Your child does not deserve to be raised in that atmosphere. I wish I would have done it sooner here’s a go but stuff like this wasn’t talked about. You can do it
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Good afternoon lady … First of all I would like to congratulate you for having a baby … it’s the most precious thing one can experience … You cannot Un-Do what happened there, it’s shameful I agree when someone you share your life with treats you this wrong when you have had his baby … I want to let you know, don’t make any decisions now, don’t even think of your husband , just love the baby and be proud of yourself for bringing him or her into this world …Just mentally for the time being prepare your mind that you are living alone at home and no one is there except you and the baby …You have to be strong during this time and not let any stress get close to you .Its easier said than done I understand , but please enjoy this moment of motherhood , this phase will not come again , don’t let your husband behaviour ruin the happy moments with you and your baby … Be brave , be strong, just hang in till your baby gets little older for months, then you wanna walk away or stay is your choice … Right now eat well, try to get good rest and sleep… Your happiness and calmness will reflect on the baby …it’s difficult , right now prepare your mind thinking you are alone and handle everything with ease … Make sure you have someone to take care during this time before you walk away . Wishing you the best life can offer … Stay happy and stay blessed …
I am pretty sure you knew the answer before you wrote the question hun! Now you just have to act on it. He has probably already moved on and so should you. Both you and your child deserve a man and that so called husband of yours is in no way shape or form a man!
Leave him. He’s not worth it. If it’s bad now, trust me, it’s only gonna get worst. My husband did everything when I was recuperating. He is good but we still fight. My point is he doesn’t care about you. I advice you to just focus on your baby now. You have a reason to be better now and start with leaving him!!!
“I can do bad all by myself” 
This happened to me with my 1st husband… Notice I said my 1st clearly we broke up
I’d leave & I have. I stayed with my ex who didn’t help for 1 whole year. Yea it hurt but here I am 3 years later, HAPPIER THAN ANYTHING
Leave you are better then the way he is treating you xo
Leave you can do better and from experience on the c section. Your not supposed to lifting or doing really much for 6 weeks, well that’s what I was told.
Your worth so so much more! Leave him, dont stay cause you’ll make your self miserable and depressed. Good luck
As long as you stay with him he will continue to abuse you and that will cause you constant pain. If you choose to ask him to leave, there will be some pain, but as time passes you will adjust and probably find it a less stressful and peaceful life. It’s a decision you need to make.
One week postpartum and he is acting this way? Is this normal for him? I wouldn’t make any life changing decisions right away but it doesn’t sound promising. I’ve been through much worse and my husband and I pulled together and have made it work but it takes two. Don’t give up too easy. If you can make it through you’ll be better off in the long run. It was hard work for both of us but we are both so happy we put in the time.
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If he can’t be there for you right now, chances are he won’t be around later either . Would you want your daughter to think it’s ok for a man to treat her this way ? Pray about it and then act on it:heart:
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I would sit and try to talk things out. If things don’t change. Then I would pack up whatever belongings that you need for you and your child. Go find your happiness elsewhere.
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Prayers for you and your situation… was he like that before you got pregnant? Has he ever had any compassion?
The biggest question i would be asking yourself, is if you are happy. I learned a lomg time ago that your happiness comes from yourself and you dont need anyone or anything to bring you that happiness. It sounds to me like neither one of you are happy and maybe yall can sit down and work it out, but it takes TWO people to make that happen. To me it doesnt seem like thats something hes interested in though. Talk to him, and if hes not willing to work on yalls relationship, then just leave. Your happiness means too much.
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Think…one day when you get old…and need help more than a week or month (like now).You can’t get old together. You are Problem to him…and his housekeeping. Bad
I would stay and make him leave the judge will let you have the house because of the baby.
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He Would …N.O.T…be my husband .It will only get worse , move on…
Leave him you’re baby is a gift from god … He should treasure his family…
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stay patient…just do what you can…this too shall pass:{
Do you have money of your own ?? Hire someone to help with the housework and take care of yourself and the baby try to be as attractive as you can if he can’t change and spend time with you and your baby by all means leave but most importantly take care of yourself and the baby but get help with everything be it a housekeeper or a cook or both God Bless you and your family
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His words have already hurt you …do you want to raise your child to be like this man and think it’s ok?? If not get out quick and file for a divorce if you arent happy cause it will affect your child too…
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Let me begin by saying I’m a mom of 3 men (all grown children) and wife of 28+ years, so I have some insight on the perception of the guy side of this story. “He’s always on his phone”, immediately I think “seeking advice on the situation” (just as you are here). He, I assume, works/ has a job? So, to say he “doesn’t help” is false to some degree. You have just had major surgery, the kind that very likely shocked him to his core. Much of what he may say to you is betraying his level of fear and internal turmoil, it’s not easy for him to process that to touch you could literally injure you…severely! He, more likely than not, is trying desperately to protect you physically. Not helping with household chores is a relatively minor issue. The condition of the house is more bothersome to you than it is to him at this moment. Don’t fault him for having the opinion “it can wait”. You haven’t specified if he complains about the house in a derogatory manner, or accuses you for there being a mess.
Having said that, it may feel extremely uncomfortable to you to be direct with him about what you want, but doing so may prove very beneficial to you both. “Will you please vacuum the carpet for me?” Basic request, right? For him, it’s a direct answer to how he can help you amid his torrent of emotional distress. It’s non-accusatory. It doesn’t say, “you suck as a man, a husband, and a father!” Which I assure you he probably feels all by himself, how you speak, act, play the roll of his better half, can either confirm or deny his own insecurities. Part of the marriage commitment is taking responsibility for each other on many levels. To protect, defend, and honor the natural processes we go through as humans being. He is feeling very inadequate on many levels, some very deeply. He loves you or those hints would NEVER come out into the open. I encourage you to be more understanding about his plight. He’s scared stupid to put it bluntly. You and the baby are all he can see in his mind, but to a fault, he’s blinded by the enormity of his responsiblity concerning you both. The housework will wait for whoever gets to it. The closer you get to being able to move around, do more, “get back to normal/ okay” so to speak, the more he can relax and behave differently. Try to help him by directing his attention. Do not neglect to say thank you if/when he accomplishes a task you have asked him to complete. It will boost his ego (be nice y’all, I know what I’m talking about here), and the simple complement will work wonders once he discovers he can, in fact, do something of significance for you and the baby that won’t prove what he already believes is true, that he has destroyed you, your body (that he loves more than you could possibly fathom), your life, and is desperate to be worthy of that baby!
I’m appalled at how quickly the man is no longer viewed as human when things like this happen! I would be interested in knowing how many advice givers have a secure relationship themselves?! How many relationships have they been through? To throw away a person so flippantly out of hand and suggest someone else do the same! Shameful.
I sincerely hope I have given you some insight on your husband’s perspective on this wonderful, yet overwhelming, stage of building a family!!! I hope you can find peace with him as your friend and help him help you. I hope he learns to trust you love him half as much as he loves you in a tangible way. I hope you stick with it, and know that trouble will inevitably happen throughout your marriage, and is testing your resolve to commit yourself to the vows you swore to one another. The tests are hard, and many break, but you decide the outcome, whether to bend or break, to hold tight or bow out. Hold strong beautiful, you created a life, you planted a seed. Now is the hard part, keeping it alive. I have faith in you both. Love each other, it’s the best thing you could ever do for your child. They learn love by how you love. Virtual hugs n kisses and stuff. This is the easiest part of the journey, so buckle up babygirl. You are a glorious woman now! Mother of life itself. A wife, anchor to the father of your children, and safe haven for your lifeboat (him). He is fragile, hard as it may be to believe, but has strength beyond measure if you can harness his heart for you. 
