I don't feel comfortable with my husbands teen watching our daughter: Am I being paranoid?

It’s absolutely not the teens responsibility. If she wanted to take care of a child, she would have one. Don’t take her youth nor drop unnecessary and unwanted responsibilities on her. She’s still a child herself.

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No not paranoid just a good mom . What’s the problem with her going to the aunts where there is no worry seems childish of him you have to put your child’s needs first if she’s at her aunts like u said you won’t have to worry .

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It is actually unlawful to leave a child with someone under the age of 16 .If there were to be an emergency she is not considered responsible in law so you could be setting yourself up for untold grief.Tell your SO you have already made arrangements for your daughters care but if his daughter is so keen to care for her half sister it would be great if she could help out after baby is born then you can get some well earned rest and there will still be adults there for back up if needed.

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I am so sorry that your SOs 15 year is so sheltered. I was driving(hardship license), cooking, cleaning, and watching 2 year old triplets by age 15. I don’t blame you one bit.

This is a no brainer🤦‍♀️ Your not gona leave that child in the care of a 15yr old. Is that even allowed by law??

Maybe his daughter can go to your aunt’s aswell she can help out without having sole responsibility. At the end of the day she can’t cook or drive etc it’s unrealistic to leave her alone that long when she has never done it before and will have no support network

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Your so right, and within your rights as a mother
Don’t doubt yourself, I would do that
Your not paranoid but responsible and being a good mum
He’s being irresponsible and un realistic.
#nobrainer

Um no… Babysitting is fine and dandy for a few hours… But ADULTS take care of children on a daily basis.

Why is this such an issue for him? Why does he feel the need to force a 2yr old on a teenager for days anyways? Like what does that achieve for anyone especially when there is an adult willing to watch her already?

Im just confused at why this is even a fight.

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If she’s responsible enough then why not… Shes only a year younger than me when I had my daughter and I’ve been babysitting since I was 8… I’ve managed absolutely fine

Nope, if he insists then tell him to stay home with your toddler while you are in the hospital.

I would let her. But have someone check up on her during the time shes watching her. When I was home alone as a kid, my sisters dad always checked on me even by myself.

I think you’re stupid tbh

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Cant expect her to LEARN if you dont teach her.

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Want to know the first thing that bothered me in this post? Referring to your husbands daughter as HIS daughter and not OUR daughter. She’s your daughter also even if you aren’t her bio mother. If he has a house before you married you wouldn’t invite company over to your husbands house. You would say “come to our house”.

Anywho, aside from that…no I wouldn’t leave a 2 year old or even a 15 year old for 2-3 days. Not in 2020,especially.

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Umm. No. You are her mother. If you feel uncomfortable then thats that. Better safe then sorry

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Nope. Let aunty watch her.

I also wouldn’t even leave my -5 year old alone for that long. I don’t even know if that’s legal.

That’s a lot of pressure to put on a 15 year old. Also I dont think anyone has asked the teenager if she would even feel comfortable watching a toddler for that long its just being thrown upon her. I think it’s fine if she watch’s the toddler for an hour or so while you do groceries but I think mom is right too many things can happen. Also this wasn’t a post to criticise the teen for anyone who’s saying ‘at that I age I could blah blah blah’ that’s not what was asked .

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Why would you want a 15 yr old if you have adults to watch (assuming you’re aunts are adults)your toddler, not saying anything bad about your stepdaughter but if she is going through puberty that can give her issues and most 2 yr olds go through terrible twos I don’t think I would test that not for that length of time am a Mother of adults one daughter one son and a Mimi of three grandsons 11 8 & 4. Just giving my 2 cents experience of how my kids and grandsons act never have left a two yr old with 15 yr old.

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Nope that’s to long with a 15 yr old matter fact she shouldn’t be left by herself for 3 days ! I can see her watching her for a couple hours while u to go out that would show her u trust and appreciate her help and show her responsibility but neither one should be left for 3 days !

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I’m sorry I couldn’t even finish reading ur post before having to comment. 3 days with a 15 year old is hellllll to the naww nawww . He cannot b upset at u for this… 15? No. That’s it. Also. Congrats on the upcoming baby

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I wouldn’t leave a 15 year old with a baby for 3 days!do what your hearts telling you cus no way should you be worrying about your daughter while in labour.

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:flushed: I still can’t get past the part where she’s 15 and can’t even cook mac & cheese… Even my 10 year old can make mac :flushed::flushed::flushed:

Hard pass on her watching the 2 year old… She has a LOT of things to learn before taking on that type of responsibility.

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Nope, no way I’m letting a 15 year old that doesn’t know how to cook watch my toddler. Stick with the aunty idea, it’s the SAFEST option.

I dont think you’re being paranoid at all, I wouldn’t feel comfortable either. Theres just too much that could go wrong in that scenario. Is it a possibility for your aunt to go to your house instead? That way his daughter can help out and you’ll still have an adult there to oversee things. I can maybe understand why he is upset but I wouldn’t feel safe leaving a 15 year old at home for 3+ days by themselves let alone leaving them with the added stress and responsibility of a 2 year old. Maybe if she was 17/18 but 15 all alone especially in an area away from town, that’s a big no for me. Does she have any sort of babysitting experience? Is she trained in CPR? Is she responsible enough to know not to let anyone over to the house and mature enough not to brag to all of her friends that shell be home alone that whole time? Maybe, MAYBE there is a 15 year old somewhere in the world responsible enough to handle that big of a responsibility but I myself cannot say that I’ve ever met one.

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I say just do what you gotta do and deal with your man’s shitty attitude about it. Just say I am the mother and I am sorry but this is my realm and my choice. Sure she might be able to take care of your 2 year old but it’s not worth the risk if you have a strong feeling. You wouldn’t want to do it against your conscience and then something horrible happens.

I mean I could’ve done it at 15, but kids are different now. I’d see if aunt could come to your house, seeing as your daughter can’t cook. How is she supposed to fend for herself let alone with a 2 year old. 3+ days is a long time.

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I think its to long to be left alone. Especially If she cant cook or drive…over night maybe, a few hours? Definitely but days? No. I had to watch my 3 nephews for weeks constantly, their parents never came around, and my gma wad blind so it fell on me but not having a mom i could do more than the average 15 yr old. You’re worried for a good reason… just tell him it’s not that you don’t trust her, it’s that you’re worried that it’ll be too much on her for too long. Especially when there’s a capable adult ready to watch her. If not that’d be different… Dad has a right, mom has a right, equally but i think here you’re more reasonable…

I think your reasons are extremely valid. A few hours here and there are one thing, a 15 year old can handle that, even a full 8 hrs most can. But for the cooking, cleaning, and babysitting a 2 year old, I see that getting very overwhelming very fast. She may think it sounds like a fun idea at first, but she’s got no idea what’s in store for just her to handle, and you can’t risk that. A responsible adult sounds more appropriate.

If its longer then a day (not overnight) then an adult should be watching your baby imo

Your not wrong. He’s crazy… I wouldn’t let someone watch my kid 3± days if they couldn’t cook.

15 is too young responsible or not. I wouldn’t do it

When I was 15/16 ish I stayed with a friend of my mom’s 2 and 4 year old boys for a whole week at their house while the parents were away. HOWEVER I knew how to cook clean and generally care for small children because babysitting was a job I did regularly and I was very mature and responsible. No matter what your reasons are, you just not being comfortable with the situation should be reason enough to send your baby to Aunt’s house. The last thing you need is yet another thing to worry about while you’re in labor because that’s hard enough.

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actually in some states it’s illegal to leave a child under the age of 16 home for 24 hours let alone three days. some states allow it to be proven that the child is mature enough to stay home but considering you know that this child cannot cook alone for themselves they are not mature enough to be left at home for 3 days by themselves let alone with anyone else underage. If anything were to happen you’re going to be just as liable for anything if something were to happen to the two year old or the 15 year old. They’re not mature enough to be even be able to cook so in an emergency situation they’re not going to know what to do. If they call 911 for a reason I’m pretty sure the cops are not going to be too thrilled about a 15 year old being left alone with a two-year-old that can’t even cook for themselves for 3 days. I would not agree to it and I’d tell him that three days is way too long and it’s actually not legal in some places because I would not want anything personally tap into my fifteen-year-old or two-year-old if I had one

No thats too much. She is still a kid herself and is probably still learning to take care of herself let alone a child! That would not be fair to her or your child. What if she forgets to feed her or bathe her? Or what if she doesnt watch her closely and your child gets into something.
Please go with your gut instinct. Your the mom, your in charge of protecting your child.

I’d say it’s too much to expect a 15 year old to cope with. Poor thing will be put in a situation she isn’t trained for, either by life experience or formal training. Nothing to do with being paranoid about the toddler.

I left my sister, a qualified doctor, with my 3 year old and 7 year old for two days and it was a bit much for her. The kids were fine, she was exhausted emotionally and physically.

Your original plan with your aunt is best. I wouldn’t be comfortable leaving the 15 year old alone or with a toddler to care for. You need to be able to focus on your new baby and yourself during this special time. This is a huge red flag to me. He should appreciate your family being supportive of you. Never let someone separate you from your family who are positive and loving. Best wishes :heart:

To run to the store and go out for a bit sure but for 3 days?? Hell no not on my watch :joy::sob:

Nooooope. I am very choosy on who I leave my son with which is no one except a select few you said all the reason why your right for not wanting her to having a toddler is alot of work and from the sounds of it i dont think she could handle it or have the necessary patience going from a few hours to a few days is not something I’d consider trust your gut and let your aunt do it

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Listen to your gut instinct. Men don’t understand half the things us moms worry about.