I don't feel comfortable with my husbands teen watching our daughter: Am I being paranoid?

Sounds totally reasonable. A teen is not capable of caring for 3 plus days for a 2 year old!!! And shouldn’t be asked to. It’s a set up for the teen to fail

1 Like

Youre spot on… tell him to shush as her mother you have your concerns & you do want to be stress free whilst at the hospital Im sure everything would be put in place so none of those things happened in her care but you need to be at ease :slight_smile: but for all those saying shes not capable pipe down… i was a 15year old mum & i did it day & night for the last 11 years :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

No your aunt a responsible adult should watch her

I would not leave my child with anyone who can not drive and doesn’t have a vehicle.

1 Like

You’re 100% in the right.

No!!! She’s only 15! That’s a lot to put on a 15 year old and she can’t drive so what if there is an emergency??

No, you’re not paranoid. Trust your gut :purple_heart:

I don’t think it’s legal to leave an unaccompanied minor alone for a few days. That goes for both kids.

2 Likes

I don’t think you’re being paranoid at all. Not that the girl wouldn’t be capable of watching her, but that is quite a long time and can be very stressful for the both of them. I think for fifteen that’s also asking quite a lot. She’s still a kid too, imagine how frustrating watching your younger sibling for that long could be! I’d try and find another solution.

Whaaaaaaaaaat I would barely even feel comfortable with an adult family member lol. 3 days is way too long for a 15 year old, even if she is SUPER responsible, it’s not just a couple hours- your 2 y/o will start to get upset wondering where you’re at, bedtime might be a challenge, etc. it’s just a lot. Don’t do it.

1 Like

My parents left me and my 14month sister at the house when I was 6 but I knew how to cook lol hahaha I had bad parents​:joy::joy::joy::sob::sob:

1 Like

The last thing you need during labor is worrying about your daughter, all in the name of keeping the peace with your boyfriend. Stand your ground, mama. I’d suggest having both children go to your aunt’s house, maybe suggest that his daughter help your aunt.

Honestly no don’t let a 15 year old watch a 2 year old alone for 3 days that is terribly insane and he’s straight up ignorant to even disagree ?? Like really you have a better option and he needs to think about whats best for that two year old .
It’s common sense .

1 Like

That’s way too long for any 15 yrs old to be responsible for.

2 Likes

I think 3 days would be a lot for a teenager. I think you should go with your gut and stick with your original plan of having your little one stay with your aunt.

2 Likes

No I agree she’s a child and shouldn’t look after a 2 year old for 3 days it’s too much

I didnt even think that was legal

I have a 16 year old and a 14 year old also a 5 and 1 year old. There is no way in this world I would leave any of my younger ones with my older ones for an hour let alone overnight. My kids are responsible but things happen. 15 year olds dont understand what happens if you turn your head while a babys in the bathtub. Yes they’ve been told but dont fully grasp. They dont realize what could happen if your not watching every minute of everyday with a baby. She could get outside and be gone. She could choke on a toy or food. Is your husband ready to place all the reaposibolty on her of living the rest of her life if something happened to her sister in her care. Even if she was paying complete and total attention to the baby things still happen. I would tell him no sorry but your protecting the 15 year old too.

2 Likes

Okay so in my opinion it would be best for your daughter to stay with your aunt as you stated your aunt has transportation in case of an emergency and has everything your daughter will need. You go with your gut and what you would feel better with

Nope. That is too long to leave a 15 year old alone.

I agree, I wouldn’t let her have her for that long.

I think it’s completely reasonable

He wrong you are right he can deal with it! Tell him to shut the fuck up. Geez, really is it that hard to understand? You have to ask where your 2 year old should stay? Hmmm an adult or a freaking child?? And your adding? God help you all.

How is this even a debate? She’s not a parent, no 15 yr old should be expected to take on that responsibility.

If it was just herself it would be one thing, but to be responsible for a toddler? No.

And at this rate…dont leave your husband with the child either. Good lord. :woman_facepalming:

5 Likes

So you are ok leaving his kid in the middle of nowhere without the skills or means to cook, clean or get around but you wouldn’t leave YOUR kid there? I wouldn’t leave either one for them.

2 Likes

You have valid reason not to trust her. I wouldn’t either.

Yeah absolutely not that would not be happening. Take her to your aunts, your husband will get over it. Nothing personal to the 15-year-old she can have other responsibilities but that’s too long of a stretch and too much of a risk. If an emergency happens child protective services are going to be wondering why she was left in the care of a 15-year-old for three days wow the parents are an hour+ away. 

No those are solid reasons, your SO is just taking it too personally. It’s a teenager who only has experience with a few hours of babysitting at a time and has no transportation if something happens. It would cause stress on you and his 15 year old

2 Likes

Not a good idea at all… Make other arrangements… I wouldn’t leave my two-year-old with a 15 year old from more than couple hours… 15 year old has a phone doesn’t she? Where is her attention going to be then…

If she’s 15 and can’t even cook. I definitely wouldn’t leave her alone with a child, with no transportation. Alsp, she’s 15. She’s got friends and will probably be on her phone and not worried about the 2 year old at all. So many things could go wrong. You are definitely not paranoid

Nope. Follow your instinct

15 is too young. I wouldn’t let my kids watch my kids unless they were older and had a car for emergencies etc.

Holy crap he seriously expects you to leave a 2 year old with a 15 year old for 3 days?? I don’t think I would even leave a 15 year old alone that long.

3 Likes

You are in the right. You need peace of mind while delivering & being in hospital. A 15 year old should not keep a child that long. Also, I would not leave 15 year old home alone either! I don’t think it is legal. Be safe go with the Aunt. Your husband doesn’t have a clue, of what all could go wrong. Also, why is 15 year old not in school?

1 Like

I think for 3 days she is better off at your aunts. Even if you trust the 15 yr old she has no transportation if there is an emergency…maybe she can go to the aunts with her and help the aunt out a bit here and there for a few hours

2 Likes

Yeah… I agree with you, momma. I would not be comfortable with that as a mother or as the 15 year old.

I would not leave a 15 year old with my 2 year old for that long. I think you are being reasonable.

Honestly it sounds like too much of a big of a job for 15 year old anyway she shouldn’t have the responsibility of having parent role so I would definitely take your toddler to your aunt as planned.

1 Like

My 15 yr old babysits her 5 and 3 yr old siblings sometimes, for an hour or 2. I would never leave her with even 1 of them for longer than that, it’s too much.

1 Like

Hell no a 15 year old cant keep a little one like that overnight! I dont even let my 14 year old watch my almost 2 year old for 30 mins. Shes extremely difficult and he dont know what to do with her. I let him watch my 5 year old for a couple hours here and there but no more than that. I know different states have laws regarding ages of kids babysitting and how long they can be alone with other kids. You should check on it and let your SO know

Definitely not for three days. You’re the momma - if you’re not comfortable with it, I’d say go with your gut.

Hell no. Maybe teen can help at Aunt’s house

1 Like

My daughter is almost 15, I wouldn’t even allow her to watch her 5, almost 6yr old brother longer than 3hrs. 15yr old is a teen, not a step parent. It’s one thing to get a little help when your home from the hospital but overnights?! Um, no. Have your husband stay home if he doesn’t approve the aunt.

2 Likes

15 is way too young to even be by themselves. They are at such a vulnerable age at that time that something could happen to either one of them. My parents were always pretty strict so I may just be ‘stuck in my ways’ but personally, I would ask the aunt to watch both kids.

When I was 15 years old I would kick off about having to look after my 10 year old brother because all I wanted to do was go off galavanting with my mates so reading this has made me nervous a little :see_no_evil:

Definitely no to looking after her for 3 days on her own, maybe she can go to your aunties and help her with looking after your daughter?

1 Like

That’s way to much for a 15 year old

2 Likes

Nah I really wouldn’t do it.

A couple hours, sure. But 3 days is nuts for a 15 year old. Heaven forbid something happens and one of them gets hurt, who’s going to drive them to the hospital?

1 Like

Absolutely not. I agree with you. A few hours is fine but not overnight and definitely not 3 days. I wouldn’t even leave my 16yo alone for 3 days. Heck I would be afraid to leave my 17yo alone that long and he is almost an adult. :joy:
I should mention both my 16yo and 17yo can take car of themselves but I would be worried about cooking and leaving something on or leaving the door unlocked. Things like that.
As for watching our younger children for 3 days…no way. :woman_shrugging:
Besides, that is not their job. Personally I would have a family member watch them both, especially if she can’t cook or drive and you live that far out of town.

If she can’t cook how is she even supposed to take care of herself let alone a toddler? Over nights seem like a bit much for a 15 year old. At 16 and able to drive I would say she would do in a pinch for an emergency over night if the aunt came to check on them in the morning but still now for 3 days. I wouldn’t allow anyone with no overnight experience do 3 days. And not 3 days until at least 18.

1 Like

Your aunts is a better choice so she can every thing she needs if any thing would to happen

1 Like

I agree with you. For all the same reasons. Its nothing against her. You need to be free to relax, and you wont if your worried about the house & kids.

1 Like

No brainer, Lovely Lady. You’re not saying your Step is incapable of looking after your littlen, just that she’s too young to have her for that long. Hubby shd be thinking of the little too… X

2 Likes

3 days too much on her own. Mind you if it was a few hours for the day, like her and the aunt work together that’s some thing else.

I would make the point if then working together and take turns. Not the teen :100:, that can even be too much for some adults.

1 Like

Definitely not paranoid. I wouldn’t leave my own 16 or 18 year olds together to watch a two year old that long. Just like mine, I’m sure his daughter is quite responsible however you have very valid reasons. As an acceptable sitter for the aunt, so she can shop or whatever kid free might be helpful.

2 Likes

Not ok. Cpl hours no problem but a few days ? Definitely no.

2 Likes

Out of 135 comments so far, only 2 ppl think it’s ok for the 15 year old to watch the 2 year old. I think the answer is pretty clear. I’d listen to the 133 ppl who agree with the kids going to the Aunts.

3 Likes

That’s when I was having my first baby :joy::woman_facepalming:

Definitely not old enough for 3+ days.

1 Like

No brainer!!! Dont do it

I think your concerns are reasonable. I can also understand why he might be upset too. He feels he can trust his daughter to take care of his younger daughter. Maybe try for a compromise. See if the aunt can visit to check on both of the girls while you’re away or see if the 15 year old can stay with the aunt too to help care for her sister.

Um… that’s not just a no… that’s a hell no. 15 is good for a movie dinner date… not several days

1 Like

I sometimes have to leave my 2 years old with my 17 years old daughter i do trust her big times but for 3 days thats too much

3 days, no transportation and far from help? There are very few adults I would leave with a toddler in that situation, never mind a teenager.

I wouldn’t leave the 15 year old alone in that situation either for that matter

9 Likes

Yes nope. Not even worth the worry. Definitely stick with your plan.

2 Likes

It’s one thing foot a 15yo to babysit a few hours or even over night but there’s no way in he’ll I’d leave my 2yo with a teenager for 3 freaking days. Most teens would be throwing parties if they knew their parents were for sure gone for 3 days. No way

1 Like

Definitely a job for the Aunt!

1 Like

At 15 years old I was extremely responsible. I grew up with lots of nieces and nephews but three complete days is too much on a teenager, especially with technology taking over their lives these days. In the blink of an eye anything can happen and if you aren’t close by that’s scary.

1 Like

15 is to young for 3+days. Not saying the 15yo isnt responsable. Just 3+days is to much

4 Likes

Definitely not it’s a lot of responsibility and I would send them both to your aunts in town.

1 Like

Gurl no …leave your baby with the aunt …

I wouldn’t leave a 15 year old with a two year old for more then 5 hours. I think he thinks you don’t trust her so just wait for him to cool down and talk about it again.

1 Like

You’re right about this…but does the teen have arrangements as well did you offer her to go to your aunts?

1 Like

Yeah no. 15 is too young to take care of a 2 year old for 3 days. Definitely let your Aunt take care of your 2 year old while you are in the hospital. You dont need the stress wondering if your daughter is okay or not while you should feel comfortable and happy with your newborn.

2 Likes

15 is good for a few hours max but not 3+ days. Trusted or not I wouldn’t… I don’t even think its legal to leave the 2 year old with a 15 year old

1 Like

You trust your gut, being that far away and her not having transportation and not having alot of experience your probably right to go ahead and take the little one to your aunt’s. He might be upset but all you can do is explain Your thoughts and reasonings and go from there. Anything could happen and his older daughter is most likely not prepared for it being she’s only 15. An hour at a time watching the youngest is alot different from several days and being out of town from them. Maybe you could start out slow giving her more responsibility when your closer to home.

1 Like

I think that is ridiculous to put that responsibility on a 15 year old. Despite the attitude, that is just absolutely not appropriate for a 15 year old to watch a toddler for 3+ days. If the toddler were to have a medical emergency, the 15 year old would not be able to do anything besides call 911. And she needs to be able to cook bathe clean and take care of her. I would not trust anyone except for an adult to watch my younger child / baby, ever. I would always have a responsible adult. 15 is just way too young!!! I can’t believe he even thought of that and is considering it.

Generally speaking most states they can’t be left overnight especially with siblings that young until 16 see if that’s the law in your area and use that.

1 Like

3 days is wayyyyy too much for a 15 year old. Lots of parents have trouble staying sane with a 2yo for 72 hours- no breaks, no help, no transportation.
That’s a huge no, no, no. Im guessing your husband has never ‘kept’ your 2yo for an extended period of time without any help or transportation. If he had, he’d understand the problem.

2 Likes

I’d never let a 15 year old watch even my 6 year old for more than a few hours let alone 3 days.

1 Like

Drop her off to your Aunt’s.
You’ll have peace of mind & the 15yr old can stay with her mother if it’s possible or your Aunt’s too?

I wouldn’t leave a 15yr old home alone for 3+ days.

1 Like

No from me, but I wouldn’t leave a 15 year old home alone for how ever many days either! Isn’t dad going back home after baby is born? My partner was there for the birth and a couple hours after and then went home to our other children, he came back for daily visits with the kids. we also live way out of the town with the hospital and 20 mins to the closest bread and milk shop.

I feel like CPS wouldn’t even allow his idea if yall were in town!

1 Like

What Lord of the Flies tomfoolery is this nonsense? Leaving a toddler with a fifteen year old for 3 days is stupendously ludacris… I wouldn’t even leave my 15 year old daughter on her own for 3 days let alone leave her alone with our 3 year old son. That’s way too much responsibility to place on a child. They are BOTH kids! I’m genuinely surprised that he is fine with leaving his daughter alone in the middle of no where let alone coming up with the bone head idea of having her watch a toddler for 3 + maybe MORE days. I don’t mean to be so mean but I couldn’t care less about his crap attitude it’s his brain that I’m worried about. :woman_shrugging:t2::woman_facepalming:t2:

1 Like

Heck no, I’d choose the aunt anyday. There’s a difference betweena 15 year old watching a toddler for a few hours on date night and being the only one responsible for the toddler for 3 plus days. Anything could happen during that time, the 15 cant drive, cant get to a store if you need food or more importantly medicine of the toddler is sick, and cant cook. I think that’s enough of a reason. It’s not about being mean it’s about being realistic. 3 plus days you need an adult who can drive or properly and safely care for your toddler. You need to be able to focus on your labour and know your child is safe.

I have a two yo and my daughter is 15 and I would not allow my daughter to care for a 2 yo for 3 days. That’s a lot of responsibility for a kid that age. Especially with the fact she can’t cook or drive. Leave her with the aunt.

No… your completely right. You shouldn’t leave a toddler with a 15yr old for a couple days with you being an hour away. What if she cant handle it for that long? What if something happens? Keep your original plan.

1 Like

15 is too young to be responsible for a 2 yr. old child for 3 days. You’re the mom, and no one else should be trying to get you to go against your common sense.

1 Like

Oh, yes. He is unreasonable, and you are not paranoid.

1 Like

Yeah naw. Your husband’s bugging. That is insane.

1 Like

Is your husband staying at the hospital with you for your entire stay

You’re right but maybe you went about it wrong? Idk how this conversation went literally. Maybe it was the way it was said. Maybe it was the way he took it. Maybe he felt you didn’t trust his daughter. Idk. But no you shouldn’t leave the 2 year old for 3 days.

Nah that’s not really acceptable at all

3 Likes

I wouldn’t let a 15 year old babysit more than a few hours. My husband says I’m overprotective. But I bet you I will never regret it!

2 Likes

Nope. Like you said a few hours is alright but days. Nope. Forget transportation toddlers are like magic in a human body they eat everything 2 yr olds still choke. Still wall stick things in outlets and climb everything. Does she have Choking training? CPR certified? It’s not about trusting a teenager it’s about not trusting sneaky toddlers not to pull stuff over on an inexperienced human.

1 Like

NO WAY! Don’t do it! My son is turning two and he is hitting his head every second by going crazy/getting excited. It’s a lot of work. Toddlers are unpredictable and 3 days is a lot for a teen. Baby needs an adult!

1 Like

Maybe see if your aunt if willing to drop off and pick both up each day. They can spend the evening and night at home but with your aunt being fed lunch and supper. Might be a good compromise for both of you.

1 Like

No. 15 yo 3 days and nights in country is a disaster waiting to happen!

1 Like

No way would I leave my two yr old with my fifteen year old son that long I live in town n he can cook but still a big no from me I get other people to do it if I know I’m going to be gone a couple I’d days
You live out of town what the heck was he thinking toddlers can get into all mischeif if you don’t keep a close eye on them

He is crazy… absolutely no way in hell would that be happening.

1 Like