You are too worried about the wrong things. The child is his too …
I mean if you can’t afford it then why are you upset? You asked for the help and you got it, and made a point to say you have never really asked for help. It’s his child too, maybe he was excited as well. I know my husband was. Yall are going to need to communicate better other wise both of y’all will be miserable with the arrangements.
Everyones being a bit hard on her. I get excited to buy that stuff too, and being the sole parent shes likely the one who will be packing the lunch/ containers and bags. As a mother id want to get that stuff too
Shes allowed to be bummed out without being ungrateful!!
Tell him. But he could be controlling from a far.
Next year put money away all year round.
You don’t really have to be out of the picture. All through the year- teachers need items like Kleenex, hand sanitizers, Clorox wipes etc. They get some brought by the kids at the first of the year, but they do run out. Good Luck
Be grateful he is stepping up many wont.
Ok so I felt the same way and we agreed to spilt the costs. I took her shopping and let me tell you it was not as fun as I thought when we got there😂 she did pretty good, but having to stick on a budget I did have to tell her no to quite a few things. I felt bad, bought I also couldn’t justify paying $15 for a pencil bag🤦😂
This is where coparenting could come in handy why don’t you go together with your son and let him pick out stuff and even tho ex is paying for it let him know how important it is to you to be a part of it
Get the stuff as extra.
So what about dad who is the one actually paying for the supplies? Why should you be the one to have the fun of picking everything out when he’s the one actually buying them? It makes no sense to me. The only thing that matters is that the child gets what he needs.
Maybe he was excited to do it too. Honestly its not worth being upset about
Get the things your son needs just in case. It can always come in handy later. Let him know you have it if he needs it.
I wouldn’t be upset. Maybe it’s exciting for him, also. Ask if you guys can go together & take your child, too. I’m sure your kid would really love that & then you’d be involved, too!
Child support? If not take him to court.
Grow up. Your child needs supplies and clothes. If you are not paying why are you whining? Having a baby is no excuse to be lazy and unemployed looking for a free ride.
The things that seem to matter right now, will not be a a big deal when your child is grown…. Learn from my mistakes, try to get along, love and do for your child as much as you can and don’t make a big deal out of the little things like this.
Atleast he’s helping with no complaint and being a true father making sure y’alls child has what they need, and taking the burden off of you. I’ll swap you, and you can have a deadbeat that has not helped with a single penny in 12 years.
U will have more first times. Right now you are not able but he is. Try n enjoy your new baby and let him help with what he can. Just make sure u take pics with him in his first day cause that’s what will matter when they are grown. Sincerely a mom who worked so much she wished she would of just spent more time with them.
Ask if yall can take your child together to get the supplies
Ask him. If you and him. And your five yr old. Can go shopping together.
Why would you expect $ from your ex. Get a clue and get a job
I can understand…it’s a mommy thing… first time
It’s the event and doing for ur kiddo… advice
Let ur ex know that u are thankful… and give him some ideas of what you would like to give to ur kiddo… and ask ur ex what he planned on getting
Say ok … if you get… (What ever the item maybe be). Then I will get the (whatever the item maybe).
Then let him know I feel on hard times financial and ask if he can loan you the money to go with it kiddo to buy the items you would like to buy for your kiddo…
That way your appreciative and hopefully he will understand…and kindly loan you the money
So you both can give your kiddo the experience of both parents giving
And your kiddo will see the 2 of you working together… and that would be beneficial to your kiddo… and could even let ur kiddo know that his or her dad help us… so we can do this together… ur kiddo will appreciate that… you can even show ur ex this message
That even through you and dad are ex… that ur love for ur kiddo is so great that u and his dad work together because I love ur kiddo so very much. And then you both well the three of you get an awesome experience
Good on him I say, you don’t need the money. Hes buying what your son needs like he should. Get over it. Sounds like you want the money for yourself. Gosh.
He had offered to pay, thats more than most get!!
If you just had a baby, an your with that baby daddy, n hopefully they are working, then maybe he might give up some money for few things, my boyfriend helped me with my kids clothes for school n supplies, even tho I did get child support when he paid it lol n actually had a job with taxes taken out…I’d fall over if he offered to buy it all, but I’d had been grateful…believe me mine are all in there 20s now n i got divorced when oldest was 10, you have a long road a head of you since only in Kindergarten, pick your battles
Oh well, you’re not in a position right now, youll still be able to take son on the 1st day and they need so much more than what dad will buy.
If he’s getting it’s why does it matter as long as the child has what he needs. Parenting isn’t about your wants, it’s about what’s best for the child. This is just some selfishness
Figure out what u want either he buys it with his money or u buy it with your money… why should he just give u money to buy what u want for him it could cost more or less than some set amount “u want “
Just give him half the list lol
What you don’t think is a big importance, give to him to buy.
Work smarter not harder
I would be thrilled to have someone else do the school shopping for me if I just had a baby.
School shopping can be a pain in the ass and expensive.
Be happy he did the work!
I wouldn’t be upset at least he is buying it , your still going to be there on the first day of school that’s what’s most important
Sooooo your complaining because a father actually did something good for his kid??? If you are not employed then you reasonably cant afford it (all). Put the shoe on the other foot…should he not get daddy excitement for his kid? He shouldnt have to give you money, he can actually buy stuff thats needed.
You should ask to plan a day that you guys could go together. If you guys are so so & you want to be involved you should be able to put your issues aside for your son and your mommy excitement good luck girl
It’s a first for both of you🤷🏻♀️sounds a little selfish
Does he plan on getting this himself or making it daddy and son school shopping trip? It will be a fun thing for them not really something to be upset about. I know you wanted to do it but dad said he would send the list and ask about a day . Dad deserves special moments to. You’ll have plenty of firsts co parenting and helping bridge a relationship is important as well.
I get what you mean, it’s okay to be upset sometimes. It’s the thought about it being their first time so you want to keep every moment memorable. My son started kindergarten last year that’s how it was for me. I wanted to get everything and make everything exciting. You might not be able to buy him the things he needs for school but try to make the other moments special. If you think about it buying the supplies he needs is something small you will still have other moments that you will get to enjoy and do for your self. Just say thank you for the supplies and that he’s willing to help out with them and look for the next thing you can take part of.
Uhm? Boohoo? No offense, but get over it? You’re not working so you asked for money. He’s buying it either way.
How are you getting diapers/wipes for a baby you just had?
I’m not quite sure why you think your needs are more important then the fathers. Clearly your not in the position to buy them and he is, as long as your child gets what he needs that all that should matter.
Girl… let him buy all that crap, I’m sure he will realize how expensive it is and how terrible the experience and let you do it next year, then you will realize how awful School supply shopping is. Let this one go…
Whoever wrote this post,ur feelings are valid. It’s ok to feel bummed u cant pick out ur babies 1st time school supplies & worrying if the father will take care of it. I hear ya girl & its gonna be ok. Congrats on ur new baby! Everything is gonna work out. Best wishes
If he’s paying for them he should be able to pick them up it’s his kid to and he has a right to do the whole thing to .
As long as you get to send your son off on his first day of school then i wouldn’t care who gets the supplies. I understand but try not to trip off it 💁
These comments wow…this woman just had a baby…hormones everywhere
Ok and who will be dropping him off his first day? You I assume and not dad. If you both plan to be there then both of you put on your adult pants and go shopping together.
Get over it. Give him the list and let him do it.
Yeah just a slight over reaction from you. Probably your hormones going crazy. It may be a first but there are plenty more firsts to come as well. Hats off to him being responsible.
I understand with it being your first time. But the important thing is your son will get his school supplies.
Why don’t you have any money to buy school supplies for a kindergartener? That’s the real issue! It can’t be more than 25 dollars. You need to figure out a way to save some money girl.
I’m going to cut you a break because you just had a baby and may be having hormonal issues. Girl it’s really NOT that serious as long as your son gets what he needs. Aren’t you taking him to school for the 1st day? That’s an important milestone. Enjoy that. Now if you really feel some type of way see if your new baby daddy will give you some money to get some of the supplies. Side note: Do you receive child support? If, not maybe it’s time to apply. You said you NEVER ask for money unless it’s very needed. Well since you’re unemployed, you will probably need it a lot.
If you get to take him his first day (first several days I’m sure) then I’d step aside and let dad do the shopping if he’s paying for it. Make sure he has the list, he knows what day he needs them by and you and your son go through them together and get them ready for him to take to school.
Maybe you can make an Amazon list of the things he needs and send him the link so he can just order it that way he’s buying but it will make it there on time and you get to choose some of the school supplies you want for your son. I know i get annoyed when my sons father would get his school supplies he would get him all the cheap crayons and flimsy book bags. It wasn’t until his father got married and his step mother took over school supplies that I was able stop worrying cause she got him good shit
Just go together and let your kid pick out what they want while you both can enjoy that with your kid. Dad pays because he is the only one who can right now but you both get to school shop with your kindergartner.
If it’s his money used to get the supplies I don’t see why it matters who buys it? Either way he’s paying for it
Pick your battles. This is not one to fight.
Just be thankful he’s offering to pay.
There will come a time when you hate buying school supplies. I know it’s his 1st year, but I bet you get to take him on the 1st day. It’ll be ok mama. Congrats on your new baby
He should be paying child support first.
I’m sure you have money. Maybe not enough to get everything he needs, but try buying just a few things that you can afford from his list, then have dad get the rest.
That might help you feel better, if you can just get a few things.
Try not to get so upset. Taking him to school for kindergarten is literally the best part.
Buying supplies… girl… you’ll be buying supplies every year. But the first day of kindergarten only happens once, so enjoy seeing him off for that first day. That’s what you’ll remember.
How about a compromise with him? You make the list. Pick out brands, theme, etc and he goes to gather everything up. Make it like a registry
I guess when you get some extra money you can go spend it on him too!!! I don’t see a problem with this. I agree with taking him the first day of school. I don’t know the situation, but I’m not sure what the agreement is, but child support would come in handy. I am in no way saying to go run and do anything, but this is what it is meant for isn’t it? Is helping provide for the kids?
I get why you’re upset but just think of it like this; your child will have everything they need because their dad is going to get it. It’s a first for dad too. Just because you couldn’t get your child everything right now doesn’t mean you can’t take part in school shopping. You can always go shopping again when you have more money and there’s always next year. Trust me, school supply shopping isn’t that fun. Push it out of your mind, take lots of pics and just enjoy the milestone the best you can. What’s most important here is that your child is being provided for and it doesn’t make you any less of a mother just because dad is buying the supplies. You guys are co-parenting. Take the opportunity to say thank you to your ex for stepping up when your child needed it and let it be a stepping stone to a positive co-parenting situation.
You can’t afford to buy your kindergartner school supplies?? Because you aren’t working, due to having a baby. How do you get everything your baby needs?? Does the father pay for it all? Because it seems like this child of yours gets put on the back burner then. Both children should be equal. I wouldn’t expect my children’s father to give me money to go get our children’s school supplies! To make it look like I bought all their stuff, if I really didn’t. As a mother, I do what I need to for all my children. He’s buying it all, he should do the shopping. I’m a single mom of 3. 16, 12, 11. It gets harder as they get older! Maybe get a job. Then you wouldn’t have to ask anyone else for money. And you could do the shopping
Why don’t you take him and pick out some of the stuff you can afford, and then tell your ex that you got some of the supplies but here is a list of what is still needed. That way you get to pick out stuff with your son and he can still help out without having to actually give you the money.
That same excitement you get. For him the feelings are mutual. Why can’t y’all set aside your differences and go together and buy the school supplies.
Maybe hes trying to help you out since you just had a baby? That would be my guess
You’ll have many years of buying school supplies. What’s the difference whether you get them or him? He’s supposed to give you the money for you to have the enjoyment? I guess I just don’t get it. If anyone wants to buy my kids school supplies they’re welcomed to it.
Wow be happy you have the help. Ungrateful much
I get where you’re coming from. However, the school supplies will be the same no matter who picks the out. My kids great grandmother buys their school supplies every year without being asked and I appreciate it a lot. Those lists are expensive! I wish my ex would at least offer to help out during the year even if it’s just buying it himself instead of giving the cash. let the little things go and just focus on the big things. Hormones will have you being irrational over everything trust me
Kindergarten school supplies isn’t that expensive i’m sure you can save up little by little till school starts to buy him what he needs. Maybe he can just buy the back back for y’all’s son.
I mean if you can’t afford it, I’m not sure you have a say, as it’s not your money buying it, hes providing for your child where you financially can’t, which is actually a really good thing in my opinion.
I want to say pick your battles but I know this is a tough one. Can you gently suggest maybe making a coparenting day of it? Like you and the ex and the child going together to get supplies? If not that maybe you can get him something small from you, like a special change “purse” (for lack of a better term) for snack money or a special water bottle. Something he can associate with you. And congrats on your new baby
Just be grateful. School supplies ain’t a big deal. Take him to pick some shirts and stuff
Pick your battle. Its just school gear. I wish someone paid for my kids stuff. You can get their gear another year when you have money. I’d be grateful if my sons father was putting his hand in his pocket.
If you can’t afford it and he can and buys it what is the issue? I don’t get it
I completely get it. You want to be a part of everything that your kids do. I’m a grandmother but when my children were little, I made sure their first day of school supplies, lunchboxes, backpacks and clothes came were mommy approved. . The first day of school is a first impression and I always wanted it to have my heart stamp. It’s about love!
As a mother you should indulge in the beauty of being able to help him with his homework , being able to write in the books with him practicing his abcs. This is the least of your worries picking his things out. God is blessing you with his dad stepping up and doing it. You sit back and then your time to shine will be when your baby is learning you can help him use his new school supplies and teach him. It’s the beauty of co parenting. You pick and choose your battles and you take a step back and realize beauty of things you hadn’t before. The beauty is he isn’t a deadbeat he is getting the supplies, your son is so excited he’s starting pre-K . If you truly feel like he will fail at getting the school supplies you can always call the school and they help family in needs with supplies. I hope this helps and I hope you look at it in a different view. Some kids don’t even show up to school with a back pack and only get loved at school by friends and teachers…… remember have a different perspective and be happy you got this mama
I have 5 getting ready for baby 6. School shopping isn’t done just the one time. He will need more glue, pencils, shoes, and field trip things. Let dad take this one. You asked for help he is helping. When you have money take him to get new shoes for school. I got the main supplies but next week I got shoes and backpacks and a few little items of clothing. Kids will need alot of things replaced. Or they outgrow things constantly. You will be able to purchase something for school. If you have a little to spare now take him to get some new shirts. Or pants.
Just act like adults and go together
Sounds like he will get the things the kid needs instead of giving you the money must be a reason for that
I’m sorry this sounds super petty I would be grateful he even offered to buy the supplies that’s a blessing by itself
Go for child support
Maybe see if you can all do it together? Just tell him it matters to you and would like to make it a family thing.
So, you’re not okay with dad using his money to buy his childs school supplies. But you are fine with taking dads money to buy the same things for the child? You wouldn’t be providing them, you didn’t pay for them. Let his father take his own kid to get school supplies and focus on things that actually matter. It’s pencils and crayons🙄
I don’t see what the big deal is about buying their first school supplies. If your ex is the one paying for them, just let him buy them.
Let it go, i understand u were looking forward to it but, u will still get to do it for your new baby when they go to school. Start saving for your kids first school pictures they r not the cheapest that way you will be able to get what u want them to wear & all that. Maybe see if dad can take the child with him to get the supplies. That way it is what the child chooses not mom or dad. As long as your child has what they need that’s all that really matters. Be thankful dad is helping (school supplies gets quite pricey as they get older).
You’re not wrong to be hurt. Its a first and it sucks to miss it. But having the ability to see the other side of it (him wanting to be a part of that first/not give you money) is probably why you’re not mad. Its not petty to be hurt or feel like you’re missing out. Just keep in mind you will have more opportunities and try to remember to be grateful that he wants to and is willing to do this for yalls child. You can’t control your feelings, only how you respond to them. Do whats right by your child and his father and don’t get angry. I’m sure he has no malicious intent and you will have another opportunity down the line.
Think logic he is looking at it as you just gave birth to someone else child you need money to buy his child stationery. His answer no.he will go buy what his child need is your answer as he think if he give you money you won’t use it all on his child but will.put something in the cart for the other child.
Are these fan questions from real people? Sometimes these questions seem so out there lol. Like this is beyond petty. Shes unemployed but wants/needs to be the one who makes the purchase of supplies but doesn’t have the money to buy them. Idk maybe I’m different.
There are programs through Social Services and other outlets that help provide back to school supplies. Call the School where he’s been enrolled.
Wait he’s buying them and going to get them and bring them to your house? Score score score for you! It sucks. I don’t care what year they are going into. It always sucks. School supply shopping sucks.
Girl the give away school supplies every year in every community, check the internet check local church’s
Wait I thought I was reading this wrong…ugh
If you are the one who gets to take your child to that first day of school -that’s the memory. Kindergarten is more backpack, lunch bag and clothes. You’ll end up having to buy stuff every year after this and it adds up. Enjoy the moment - not the stuff.
My ex won’t help with school supplies. He wanted to split the list and he didn’t want to buy clothes and such. He offered to pay for the backpack and shoes and a couple other things and I said nah we go school shopping as a family as I have an older son and he’s really excited to help his brother this year. So I told my ex it’s fine my mom and I will figure it out. I’m not willing to take away from my oldest just so my ex can buy things that don’t work for my youngest at the end of the day. So I’ve been saving for both my boys. (My oldest isn’t my ex’s). My ex is barely involve upto 6hrs a week so yea I’m pretty protective of what I do and don’t do with my son. Especially when my oldest wants to be involved he’s been there by his brothers side for 5yrs and I’m not taking away from him for my ex.
Does he not pay child support?
This is the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard. So many ‘other parents’ don’t pay child support, won’t contribute to anything and most certainly wouldn’t just go buy what’s needed.
How very petty and absolutely ridiculous
Well done DAD, for stepping up and going out to buy what your child needs
Honestly I think it’s petty and kind of selfish. So what if he won’t give you the money atleast he is going to buy it. Maybe he just wants to bond with his child while they are shopping. Some ppl will prob say I’m wrong but I don’t care. No parent is better then the other and deserves quality time with the child too. Even if it is just shopping for school supplies. Be an adult about it and be grateful for what he is doing instead of fighting or being petty about everything. You can make other memories.
Taking him to school on his first day is more important than who bought the school supplies.
Eh your feelings are valid but…you literally have no money…
Sometimes I wonder if these posts are real. Why be upset at least he’s getting the stuff . Count yourself lucky . Most of the time the dads won’t help with that sorta thing . They usually full of excuses. And won’t do it . This is petty to be mad about . Be great full he actually gonna help . And you don’t have to go out begging for help because he wants to be a dead beat .
get some to give him at Christmas. they always need more by that time.
girl say thank you!!