I am upset I do not get to buy my sons first school supplies: Advice?

Can you go with him? Do you guys get along well enough, tell him you just dont want to miss out on that special first experience.

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Let it go there are tons of other first’s you can do. You can’t afford them he is willing to buy them let it go do what’s best for the child and you at this point the father is helping exactly as one should …let it go🤷

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Wow most comments did not pass vibe check way to be rude people to someone who just had a baby and hormones are probably everywhere from most of these comments alone i hope i never need advise woman need to support each other not tear each other down

Be happy he is buying them. Their is alot of parents who don’t buy them. So you need to quit being a baby.

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be thankful ur ex is helpin wit his school supplies

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I really am finding this post very sexist. Because you are the mom you should automatically be granted ALL of the firsts in the child’s life?? Sorry, but that man is the Father of the kid and has the same exact right to those things as you. Its pretty simple, treat others how you’d want to be treated. Assuming you’ve treated everything else prior to this the same, the fact he’s still willing to be apart of the kids life and provide for them says a lot. And what does him working through the week have to do with shopping for a kid? He can online shop, he can go to just about any store on the weekend…

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Make an Amazon list and send him the link. That way you still picked it out?

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you said you have no money to do it so he said he would get it don’t see the issue with it tbh if he didn’t your child wouldn’t have anything

You still have first day at school

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Be mad at yourself. 4 kids no child support. We both support our children. Separately.

Girl pick your battles wisely. Be happy you don’t have to buy it. Kids are expensive and believe me you will be buying him stuff the rest of your life :wink:

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You can’t afford school supplies ? But yet you have another baby? :thinking::grimacing:

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:rofl::joy::rofl::joy::rofl::joy::rofl::joy: mahn I would be so happy if someone buys my son’s supplies every school year. You are really focused on the wrong things besides he is your child together he is also excited about his child going to school.:woman_shrugging:t5: Just write him a list and let it end there

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Just like Christmas and birthdays, you kinda know the month that school starts so why didn’t you save so you could have the money? Just let him buy the supplies and better luck next year. I do empathize though because I live to buy school supplies as well.

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Do it together and if not give him a list

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Let it go. He’s getting the supplies. Be excited as you put together his supplies in the backpack!

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Let dad buy the first lot of school supplies, if he wants too…
Liklihood is, dad’s going to miss his actual first day at school, being at work and all. :roll_eyes:

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Communicate with your school. They may have funding and in jk u might only spend $5.they need crayons pencil case eraser sharpener. Water bottle. Mostly everything u grab at dollar store they dont need much

First of all ignore the negative know one knows your story but send a list of what he can buy and buy what you can that way it’s a joint effort

Also pick your battles if he wants to buys school supplies let him u go buy back pack and indoor out door shoes or let x do it all but agaim pick your battles

You should be greatful that his going to pay for it seeings as you dont have the money. He’s the dad and its as much his job as it is yours to make sure your child has what he needs but their are mums out there in your position financially and the father of their child wont pay. at least your child will be getting all he needs surely thats all that matters. The most important this of him starting school is the first day he walks through the door and you’ll be there for that

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Why don’t you just swallow the pride and uncomfortable feelings from the situation and ask if you can accompany with them on the trip? Then you’re there to help pick things out and you BOTH get the opportunity to do it for the first time? It’s about the child - not your personal feelings about one another

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I’d make him a picture list of the stuff you would of gotten yourself.

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Sounds like an arrogant prick to me
Like most men.
It Wouldn’t hurt him just to pin the money over to you
He just wants the control

I’d let this one go. There will be many other firsts and special moments for you and your child. At 5, they are so easy to satisfy. Don’t sweat it. Wishing you sunnier days ahead

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Is this about your feelings or about what the kid needs? I’m just asking :woman_shrugging:t2: don’t be selfish…

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Would say pick your battles there’s dad’s out there who don’t care where their children’s next meal is coming from and he’s offering to buy things. Could you give him a list of what to get?

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See if u can both go as coparents and be able to experience it together, children dont really care who is buying school supplies they just care about who is just as excited as he is about being a big kid and go to school. Dont allow hurt feelings or who wants to be the first to buy supplies cause it isnt whats important. Whats important is how ur child feels and seeing his parents getting along to be beside him together is what children really want. No kid wants to hear or see his parents fussing or fighting the whole time making it about them or their selves. U have a new baby so its rough in the money department so just make note and be ready for when he starts the next grade , take turns with it. As mothers we want to be there for our childrens first everything cause we carried and gave life to them , our face was tbe first they seen so yeah i get that part being a mom as well but if u have a great father that wants to do and see his first everything as well is hard to find so be great co parents for him and enjoy as parents so neither one has to miss his special moments . If he cant make it due to work or ect. Record it take pics so the dad has the special memories as well. Enjoy life one day at a time.

You need too get child support set up I dealt with that crap for years with my oldest dad. And one day I had enough and said child support are court. He doesn’t get too decide what and how. It’s narccism and control. He gets to still control you from afar. Please consider child support.

Give him the supplies needed paper from the school. He better check off everything on the list. Don’t worry, you will have many more opportunities to go back and get more supplies before the year is over lol they always need something.

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He sounds like a petty b**ch. Go to court and get child support. Don’t ask for shit. Simple

He could’ve said no to the money and no to getting school supplies. Take a step back & think, what if dad wanted to be apart of this “first” for the child too?

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Learn to co-parent and if you can’t do that peacefully then be grateful he is willing to get what is needed.

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Trust me mummy of 3 here… School shopping is stressful and annoying!! Let him do it or send him links of the items you and your little one have chosen online

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I just have to ask, what supplies does a child need for kindergarten. I remember my kids needed nothing. Just go and play. But be thankful he’s willing to pay, a lot of parents don’t. Pick your battles, this isn’t something worth getting upset about. And yes I’m a mom, my kids are grown now but it’s not worth the headaches or hassles

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I dont think guys get as emotional as moms do on 1st days of school etc. I understand the excitement however i would just let it roll.off your shoulders there will still be plenty of 1st for the two of you and the most important is seeing him off the 1st day of school. Its just supplies id let that battle go and just let dad do it unless you guys are close enough to pick things out together

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I remember asking my nephew if he wanted to go school shopping with me to buy his daughters school supplies ( she lived with us, he had no money). I wanted him to be much involved with her, once he understood, he was very happy to go… and no need for he to feel bad. all the supplies long gone, except that “ my first picture dictionary”
He even spent the night before first day of school, and went with us that first morning . And then meet mom later in afternoon and she got to be in car line to pick her up on first day of school ….

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Be grateful. At least he is helping. There’s nothing magical about buying school supplies.

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I would make a list of what is needed and from were, plus price . Give this to him and say you are happy for him to do this. Believe me he is doing you a favour school shopping is not fun. Even first time.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. I am upset I do not get to buy my sons first school supplies: Advice? - Mamas Uncut

Lol, So many more years ahead of you to pay for school supplies. You should honestly just thank his father, and get over it. Much worse things to be upset about.

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Meanwhile their are children who will start school with no supplies and no new clothes. I would be thankful you have someone willing to help/pay for it. As a mother of 4 it is expensive, and I’ve had to do it all by myself a few times.

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I would maybe get a couple things urself and be grateful u have someone who helps! I buy all the supplies for my son!

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I would say if you are asking for help and are unable to provide it yourself then you should not be upset. I get being disappointed that you aren’t the one picking it out but in the end as long as your son has what he needs that should be all that matters. Kudos to the father for being willing to help in a time of need.

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Maybe you could all could make it a thing and take your son together? That way you’re still involved.

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He’s buying the school supplies for the child. Let him know when school starts so he can get the supplies beforehand but generally they don’t need all of that the first week anyways. My son always got his list the first day of school.

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Who cares who the one buying the supplies is , as long as the kid gets the supplies … I wouldn’t give someone money to buy school supplies when I could just buy the school supplies myself either …

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It sounds to me that he is being a good parent and being helpful, especially offering to take care of it himself. He may be excited to do it, he has the right to be excited, also. I would be happy to have someone that is willing to be responsible.

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Wait, so you cannot afford for your older kid because you choose to have a baby after!? That is sad. All around sad for the older child. I am so happy his dad is stepping up and you should be too! Many women pray for men who will step up and help!

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Send him a list… take this loss and then enjoy all the other aspects of having your first start school .

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He should be paying child support that you could buy the stuff with. You are being way too kind and he could give a ####.

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You’re upset that you can’t afford the supplies so dad is buying them? You’re upset that he won’t just give you the money so you can buy them? If you can’t afford to buy your kids school supplies why are you having more kids?

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He may get the first school supplies but you get that first day of school🤷‍♀️

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Honey. Relax. It will all be okay🤍Always have extras on hand, even for the next 12 years of school. It will all be fine.
Love, A Teacher

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You can try letting him buy the materials and you help the child organize and prepare the back pack for school. My kids get more excited to get ready the day before.:blush:

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Your seriously upset over this?!?

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Ask his dad to send it all to your house! You will still be excited when you go thru it all! It’s gonna be ok mama!

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Can you ask if you can tag along? He may be just as excited as you. Maybe this is something you can do together? If not than I would just be thankful you don’t have to worry about it. I get feeling upset about it, this is your first baby your sending off to school. But it the end if you can’t afford it and he can, than you gotta accept your loss. My dad always told me beggars can’t be choosers and that stuck with me for a lot of things that happened in my life. Good luck momma!

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Give him the list of school supplies needed. Plus shoe size, pants, t shirts etc.

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I totally get where you’re coming from. I too was always excited about getting my daughter’s stuff, especially for school. Her dad and I couldn’t agree on anything as well and sometimes he wud not want to give me the cash so what worked for us sometimes was I go to get her stuff and he meet us there to pay for her things. So try that

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I’m still so confused on you had a baby so you are unemployed?? :woman_shrugging: A dad that is involved & you are complaining & questioning his abilities?? :flushed::grimacing: :-1:

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We always buy school supplies for my stepson. I understand missing the first of the shopping trip but those things are just as important for his father. Maybe offer to go together.

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Let him buy the supplies and maybe take your child to pick out a bookbag, that’s the best part anyways.

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He sounds spiteful to me. I don’t understand why he won’t let you do it if it’s something you like to do. I’m very sorry. You have every right to be upset.

I’d be grateful for the help. I’ve done it all myself for 18 years, even when my ex and I were still married.

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just a suggestion but maybe try to have a real talk with him. co parenting is what you are doing and the more you are able to get along for your child the less you create trauma for your child. Plan a day to meet with your child and do the shopping together. It’s not about you or the father it’s about your child’s wellbeing. Having a time shared with both parents would benefit your child in so many ways. A hope you can over come this and its able to be worked out for everyone’s happiness.

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There’s some judgmental women on this page …

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Its really not a big deal my son needs like 5 things to start school…but I understand how you feel…if its that important try to save up some money somehow to get his supplies…

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Honestly you have no reason to be upset with him on that. If anything it’s smart of him to buy the supplies and not just blindly give you money.

It is his child too and he is helping. He maybe concerned that the money may not be all spent on the child.

I get being upset, but look at it from his perspective too…maybe he feels the same way you do. Maybe he wants to do all those firsts too. Moms aren’t the only one who gets to buy the first bunch of school supplies and send the kiddo to school on the first day.

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Ask him to put the money in gift cards and you will give him all the receipts showing what was bought. Explain the reason you’d like to be with your son for his first K experience. He probably thinks giving you money, that you’ll spend it on yourself.

Why not see about going together?

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You’re not wrong as a mom, but dads need that spotlight also… I know from experience.: I’ve always been able to provide for my 3 u til a couple years ago and I had to learn that dad needs that fulfillment also… there’s plenty of things you can provide throughout kindergarten all the way through senior year.

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Maybe make a Amazon wishlist, send it to him and he can order the supplies instead, you and your child pick it out and dad pays🤷🏻‍♀️

I would go buy some extra cause they always run out and there are lots of kids whose parents can barely only send paper and pencils :heart:

I tried asking for help with supplies. He responded with…that’s why you get child support.

I was a single mama. why is it a big deal that he wants to get supplies? Why do mothers always think they have to control who does what? Be happy he wants to be involved. Yes you two need to learn how to co-parent.

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Ask if you can go with him to help pick out the stuff since you’re excited about it being your first kid you’re sending to school.

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I mean I get why you’re upset. I too was super excited to buy my kindergartner all his first school stuff this year! I would have been kinda sad too if someone else picked it all out. Im sure you appreciate the supplies anyway. See what his dad gets and then get the rest or a few things extra yourself like a fun pencil bag and pencils and a water bottle.

Good dad :clap: … Move on with your feelings and be appreciative. You have another baby to do the same thing with later. And there’s more milestones than just kindergarten.

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Send him a copy of the list, then when your child comes home with supplies, check it against the list…if there are still things needed, send a new list or if you are able, get those things.

Sounds to me you can’t afford some of his supplies go half on his supplies. Make it easy on you.

So you can’t afford it ? dad can and you think you are more worthy to take the child than he is. If he is able to financially do he should be allowed the chance to take the child

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You don’t have a reason to be upset. He is still providing the need. He doesn’t have to give you cash. Let him buy the supplies.

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So you ask for help and when you get help get upset? You either want help or not :woman_shrugging:t3: “he works during the week and plans things on the weekends” and? Do you have a point to that statement? A trip to the store takes 30 minutes tops. While I understand it’s your first time at least be thankful he is even helping and not just refusing.

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So you are mad he is going to cover it ?

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This is the oddest thing to be upset about. Co-parenting is tough, pick your battles .

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I wish my kids dad would help any kind of way

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You shoulda made it a point to have the money.
Since it means so much to you.
Why should he not get feel the enjoyment of purchasing them?

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It’s a first for him too. Why do you feel as if you absolutely deserve this moment? Why not ask to join?

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I think he didn’t do wrong honestly. You asked for help with what the child needed and he provided it. I don’t feel like you’re wrong either, a small joy but he got what the baby needed and that’s what’s important.

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Be ok with him buying the things. Maybe ask to meet him there when he is going to shop.

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From a dads point of view I can completely understand how you feel. It’s more so just the fact your missing out on a very important milestone. Or atleast the preparation for one. Hope your able to make the most of it and get to fully experience the next big milestone. Good luck :slightly_smiling_face:

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Weak reason to be upset

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Sounds like a smart man. I wouldn’t give money either.

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I would just give him the school supply list to make sure he gets the correct items needed

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Why don’t yall go together with your son to get school supplies? Co-parenting at its best :upside_down_face:
And I totally understand being sad that you might miss out of first year school ahopping. That is valid! But keep in mind that those are your feelings about missing out and that is different than being upset about him not giving you cash.

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Dads have just as much right as the mom to do firsts. You’re sort of being petty

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It’s sad that some of these comments are to make you feel stupid and make you feel like you shouldn’t have had another child. It’s okay to be upset but be grateful. The supplies aren’t that important. Let dad have that moment and be thankful he’s willing to go buy all of them. There will be plenty of times you get to have special moments so pick your battles. It not as serious as your emotions are making you think. Just relax and allow him to help out. Children always cling to momma more then the daddy so just remind yourself that dad needs special moments as well. Your child doesn’t care who gets the supplies he just wants a happy mommy and daddy

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Could you compromise and you choose the supplies online and he purchase them?