She obviously doesn’t understand what you are going through. In my opinion, I think she is being really insensitive. Maybe you should try to explain to her you just can’t handle helping her right now. Surely she has other friends to help her.
Have you lost the ability to support your friend? Horrible things will happen to all of us every day. Our ability to continue to support our family and friends that’s what makes us a good human. Of course you’re heartbroken. But your friend is not. This is the happiest time of her life. So because it’s not the happiest time of your life anymore you no longer have the ability to find happiness in her happiness?
you dont need to move on… you need to take all the time you need to process and grieve … she being insensitive imo may be time to move on to new friends …she sounds like a selfish C.U.N.T
Um… at first I was totally understanding your feelings, while also planning to say that it was not her fault and to try not to be angry AT her… but once I read the ‘move on’ part, no way. Screw that. I have had multiple miscarriages and it’s terrible. You don’t just “move on”. You grieve as long as you need to. She should be supporting you, if she were a true friend. She should be thinking how she’d feel, were the roles reversed. How insensitive and cruel. I would NOT be helping with the shower and would be reconsidering the friendship altogether, because she is not a real friend.
Oh hell no. She only thinking about herself!!! You need to not be around this. I’ve been through this and this makes me so mad. Hugs😭
What a bitch she is😏
Ew. A close friend of mine had a miscarriage and I’ve never once told her to “move on” it hurts no matter how long its been. That’s your BABY. I’m so sorry for your loss. I wouldn’t expect that friend to help me or even come to my baby shower if it was too hard on her.
If it bothers you because you lost your baby, I would be honest with my friend and Let her know it’s too much to handle at the moment .
Grief counseling can help. I had a 16 week loss and lost a child just before his third birthday. I know how tough it can be to see others’ doing well when you’re grieving. It’s okay to have feelings. But you need to learn how to accept that your loss doesn’t stop the world from continuing on even when it feels like it shouldn’t. I don’t think the friend understands how devastating pregnancy loss can be no matter how early it happens. Some people just don’t get it until they go through it themselves. I doubt she was intentionally trying to hurt you. That being said, she does need to be more empathetic. It isn’t okay for her to act like everyone else should prioritize her life the way she does. Distance yourself if you need to.
She can screw herself, u can’t just “move on” after loosing a baby…loosing anybody for that matter u have every right 2 greave ur loss. If u feel helping her with a baby shower is 2 hard on u at the moment don’t do it. It’s not worth it. The more u stress about it the less ur gonna be able 2 greave and being stressed by helping her with her baby shower is not the right way 2 greave or remember ur baby. I would tell her 2 kick rocks and let me greave my loss
A friend of mine found out she was a few weeks behind me and then she miscarried she knew she was high risk im on number 3 and she was on her 2nd but she always still messaged me to check on me and i tried real hard to be there for her cus i knew she needed me i never rubbed it in that i was still pregnant and she actually ened up pregnant again its a sensitive subject and difficult but if shes ur real friend she wouldnt be being like that she could handle it alot differently and with more love and understanding about ur feelings
Some friend get her gone
…well resenting her is wrong, what tragically happened isnt her fault though and how is she suppose to know how you feel if you dont talk to her about it? Im sorry that this happened to you. I would talk to her and let her know how you feel, tell her you love her but you think its best that you two take some time apart because you need to heal and that being around or doing anything that has to do with a baby is triggering your trauma and you hope she can respect that.
No way. She really told you to move on? Wtf. No.
That’s a horrible thing for her to say. I understand she’s hormonal and stressed so honestly I’d sperate as much as possible till after her pregnancy. You need to process your trauma and loss in a safe space and she needs to deal with her pregnancy. Neither of you currently has the bandwidth to both do what you need for yourselves and be there for support for the other in this situation. There’s nothing wrong with just taking several steps back for right now and maybe trying to talk about things later when things have settled down for everyone.
Or like I said that’s an awful thing for anyone to say to anyone so just cut her out, do a total block out and just be done with her.
A true friend would never tell you to get over it
Just tell her you just don’t feel you can help her ,your heart is broken and tell her she should understand.
Yep she isn’t your friend. F her and her feelings. You can grieve however long you need to. I’d feel the same way if I were you
Talk to her about how you are feeling. She may not understand how you are feeling… She also may think that by helping her, she is helping you. You are unable to do those things for you, so she may think that by doing them does her, she’s helping you fill in something that’s missing…
She shouldn’t have said that, but you also shouldn’t resent her and distance yourself- it’s not her fault you lost the baby. Neither of you are being good friends right now, and you’re both hormonal. A couple years ago I was pregnant while my SIL miscarried, we were 5 weeks apart and she was sad but didn’t distance and I cleaned up for her while she was in the hospital. I’ve also miscarried while friends were pregnant, life happens unfortunately. Now me and my SIL are both pregnant again, a few weeks apart again, and I hope we both have healthy babies
She doesn’t and can’t understand what you went through, I lost my baby to a miscarriage on my birthday and my nephew was born the next day I couldn’t bring myself to go meet him for 6 months and now I have had to help both of my girls through the same pain of losing their babies. My oldest delivered a baby boy at 28 weeks and he died an hour later, then my youngest daughter lost a baby boy at 18 weeks the doctor said it would never had made it even if she carried it to term.
What a horribly selfish thing to say. Grief has no end or time limit and she apparently lacks the empathy of a good friend. You need to do what is best for your mental health. If you need more time to grieve and deal with your emotions just tell her that you need time and are currently unable to participate. If that changes you can always reach out to her later on, but don’t be surprised if her lack of empathy leads to this being a permanent fracture to your relationship.
If she told you already to move on then she doesn’t sound like a very nice friend at all and her actions are selfish.
I’ve had this happen twice, but I wasn’t the one who miscarried. Both times my friends just stopped talking to me, it hurt but I understood their pain was greater and why they needed space. Your friend saying that was not okay, she needs to understand and be a better friend. Just don’t hate her for something she couldn’t control, but she can control how she responds.
If she told you to “move on” after losing your child she isn’t really your friend at all.
A true friend will understand that you are still grieving the loss of your baby and not force/manipulate you to helping her with her baby shower
So sorry for your loss. I know how difficult it is to miscarry. My heart goes out to you. Your friend does not realize how difficult it is. Talk to her, explain how hard this is. Hugs- God bless you. Maybe, she’ll understand.
I can see her wanting help but to tell you to move on is huge red flag. I understand how it feels. I was pregnant same ad my best friend. I miscarried and I told her I needed distance. It took 2 years and we hang out now but this is 4 years later…I look at her son and I feel low…depressed even after I had my Rainbow. I look at her son and realize mine never made it. It’s hard and your feelings are Valid.
Be there for her. Hopefully you are in counseling to help you mourn the loss of your child.
"I’m healing from the death of my child, I will gladly attend but emotionally, it hurts too much. I need to mourn " Then give information on the grief surrounding Ng a miscarriage. Give it time. She doesn’t understand
Wow talk about NO EMPATHY!!! You need time and distance to heal…away from her because it sounds like she’s all about herself
Telling you to move on is extremely insensitive of her… she needs to understand that what has happened to you is so completely devastating and heartbreaking. It sounds to me like she is a very selfish friend… I am so sorry for your loss, I know how it feels… and something like that takes a while to heal from. You need emotional support… not to have your emotions brushed off in order to be there for her.
Tell her to move on. Your need time to heal after this. I’m so sorry for your loss
Tell her you cant help her you need time to heal your heart and being around her right now is to hard for you. If she cant understand that then she might not be your friend.
She told you to MOVE ON because she needs help?! What kind of friend says that to someone who miscarries? That’s beyond selfish and wrong of her. Personally I would tell her that you aren’t helping with the baby shower because your heart is still broken about the loss of your child.
Yeah you don’t tell your friend to move on if you’re still grieving, that’s cruel…take the time you need, she should be more understanding smh.
I have a feeling that this is just one example of this “friend” being shitty
I really hope that she doesn’t experience a miscarriage ever. I’ve had 3 and until someone has been through it personally, they have no way of understanding.
I’m so sorry. I couldn’t imagine the grief you’re experiencing. You deserve to mourn and step away if you need to. Hopefully she understands how hard this has been for you and if she doesn’t that’s her problem not yours. Take the time you need to heal.
Honey save yourself heartache from this friendship because honestly she is being very insensitive she should understand that you just miscarried and that she is asking you to help set up a baby shower after you just lost your own which is very selfish she should understand that at this time that’s probably very hard for you to be around knowing that you were going to be preparing for your own baby shower and for your baby to be on the way cut her loose for her to tell you that you need to move on there is no healing time for something that hurts you and nobody should tell you to move on sending love prayers and light your way I’m sorry that you’re going through this you deserve a better friend who is more supportive of you
She did not tell you to move on
She told you to just move on… So you could help her plan her baby shower… Giirrrrrllllllll. That ain’t your friend. You deserve better.
Also, terribly sorry for your loss, doll. Thinking of you and your family.
Find a new friend.
What does self-centered person I think you should MoveOn away from her. Start putting yourself around others who have gone through what you have there is a grieving process. Join a grief group or start doing some things that you’ve been wanting to do. You’ll make new friends that aren’t selfish and self-absorbed. Some people come into our lives for a season this person has revealed who they truly are and I would move away from that
Tell her that you are not ready.
As much as your friend needs you right now she should set that aside and realize that you need her support more! As your friend she should absolutely put your feelings first… I would never ask a friend who is mourning the loss of a child to help with my baby shower or tell them to get over it! That is not a good friend!
Please move on from being her friend. Your friend’s behavior is unacceptable! Sending you prayers, so sorry for your loss.
Omg… sis that isn’t your friend. Move on from Her!
OHHHHH, HELL NOOOO. Go silent. She clearly is missing something. Not worth your breath. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. Truly.
Just block her. And begin the healing process.
She told you to move on. So do just that but without out her. There’s NO best friend going to say that and truly care abt you.
I had a miscarriage with my very first pregnancy. Its been almost 16 years and I’m still, “not over it”. Everybody heals on their own time. She’s being selfish as hell to your miscarriage. Ask her how she would feel if the tables were turned, if she would want to be helping out with a shower when she can’t no longer have a shower of her own. Not a good friend to keep around BTW she sounds self centered.
She has not lost a child…she does not understand…
Wait what?! I know she didn’t tell you to move on. Yeah that’s a hard no. HAs she ever had a miscarriage? You don’t just move on. Sorry not sorry but she would not be my friend at that point. You are going through something really painful still. She should understand and be there for you. She is only caring about herself and it shows. Be happy for her but toxic is toxic and block her from everything. Also I am so very sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and positive vibes <3
I would move on from your friend, that’s unacceptable! How would she feel if it was the other way around! She’s really self centred
One does not simply just move on after losing a baby… I found out my best friend lost her baby right after I found out I was pregnant with mine because I called to tell her but asked about her baby first… I cried over her loss with her… It took me until almost 20 weeks to tell her because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings… That girl is not your friend! While she should be excited for her pregnancy she should also be sensitive to the fact that you just lost your baby and need to heal. I hope you get your rainbow baby soon
That is not a best friend. She is a user cut her off now for your own sanity. She obviously doesn’t care about you or what you are going through.
I’d tell her to go fuck herself no real friend would ever say move on too someone
You tell your friend you will move on with support and time. Just like she needs help and friendship now, so do you. So it’s really important to communicate what it is that you need from her too. You’ll need to compromise and give too if you care about your friend you’ll need to give her support. If the situation were reversed you would need your friend and her help still. Don’t blame your friend for your pain and loss. If you don’t feel comfortable planning her shower then tell her that and let her know that you want to attend and be in the celebration at the party. Leave her with a positive when talking about her baby. If she isn’t willing to understand and give on what it is that you need from her during your mourning the loss of your baby, then you may need to reevaluate the friendship. Just don’t make that decision now when you’re still grieving, again you’re going to need time to heal.
explain to her your loss is just as important and that you cant bring yourself to do baby shower maybe ask someone else your grieving your loss im so sorry for you sending healing prayers:pray:
Nah… you don’t MOVE ON! She can KICK ROCKS! You don’t say that to a “friend” to begin with! That’s awful
A best friend would be understanding and supportive in your grieving process. The fact she said that and you didnt immediately cut her off; youre a better person than me for that.
I am so sorry for your loss.
“Fuck a fake friend where your real friends at?”
If your friend said those things, she is not your friend. That is shockingly insensitive
Shes 100% right! You need to move on to better friends bc that bitch isn’t a real friend.
Wow… for someone that close to you to say that is disgraceful… that’s not your best friend … you need to grieve the loss of your baby with people who understand. She only cares about herself
Some beefs are spiritual- let that bish goooooooooooooooo. I am so serious, back away from her, she does NOT care about you.
Her saying to “mòve on” would’ve been the ènd for me.
Totally insensitive & an idiot!
if she told you to move on. she isnt that much of a good friend to you. she can plan her on baby shower.
you just take care of yourself, mama. this is a really hard time for you and shes being very insensitive. if the tables were turned she’d probably be leaning on you for support and you cant get any from her. screw that.
just try to take this time to heal. sending you love, girl.
Sounds pretty selfish of her. I’m sorry you have to deal with that, on top of your loss.
I would not help her. If I’m grieving the loss of my unborn child, who are you to tell me to move on? Girl bye
I wouldn’t even show up her babyshower let alone help her plan it. And when she gets upset, tell her to “move on”
Help her! Feel happy for her! It will help you heal too!
I am so sorry for your loss. Keep on avoiding her until you are completely healed.
Then you can let her know that her behaviour is unacceptable or dont say anything and end the friendship
She is not a friend.
The only moving on you need to worry about is to move on from that friendship. You really could use her support during this difficult time that you are going through. She’s being selfish. That’s not a true friend.
You’re a horrible friend
She will be better off without you.
“I understand that you’re happy, and you should be. And I understand that you have no idea how deeply I’m grieving right now. Pregnancy hormones likely make that impossible. But as much as I want to, I’m just not emotionally able to support you. I am drowning in grief.”
She should realize that you are grieving and her request is just too difficult for you right now. Just tell her no.
What she said is pretty harsh in my opinion. I don’t know the dynamics of your relationship or how long you’ve known each other but when it comes to something like miscarriage care and compassion is what should come first. She may feel overwhelmed and is just looking to you because you are her best friend but if I were you I would put myself first. Your health and happiness should ALWAYS come first. You need to heal and make sure that you’re ok BEFORE helping anyone else. So sorry that you are dealing with all of this. I hope you find your happiness again
She said move on. That’s what you should do. Totally move on from her. That was a totally inappropriate thing to say.
get a new bestie…one who is not selfish and someone who cares for ur feelings…
Firstly I’m so so sorry for your loss. Your now an angel mama and you’ll always have a special person in heaven watching over you.
I was in the same position as you. Almost 14 weeks when I miscarried and one of my closest friends was roughly the same. After I miscarried she distanced herself from me out of fear I’d resent her and her baby. After some time we became close again. And it did help somewhat with my healing.
Secondly for your so called friend to tell you to get over it and move on is truly insensitive and disgusting and I’m sorry she said that. Sh is no friend and only wants you to help her, seems like a one sided friendship. Did she help you while you suffered your loss? She sounds selfish and self centered to not consider your feelings and emotions.
Again my heart goes I to you on your healing path. X
I would just be honest with her! Also I wouldn’t be friends with someone that told me to ‘move on’ from a miscarriage ! X
Move on and live your best life for you and not for your friend just you be who you really are.
So sorry for your loss. Your bff isn’t being very nice to you right now. Like said in another comment just tell her straight up you’re grieving and if she is that insensitive I’d find a new friend.
So sorry for your loss. I think you need to have a conversation with her first since she is your best friend. Explain to her how she is being insensitive towards your loss. Saying things like move on… it does not work that way. I think if she was a little bit more supportive towards you it would help you in wanting to help. She may have never experienced something like you are going through and def a talk will help the both of you.
Make a choice its your saddnest that she doesnt seem to understand , You are grieving for your lost baby , ITS all in your hands i dont call her a friend … Good Luck on your lifes journey …
She is not your friend…she’s very insensitive…
I would do it on one terms that she throws my baby shower party when I get pregnant in return of me throwing one for her. If you want a friend do what friends would do, help one and another out with parties and taking her out when she really needs it but can’t find time to. Be the bestie you would want your bestie to be and they’ll feel the same and stay.
I have to say sometimes it doesn’t work out…
I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks, grieved for a few days and went on with life.
You can’t hold onto the grief it’ll eat you alive.
You can do what your willing and if the cost is to high emotionally and mentally then explain that to ur friend if she’s a true friend she will get it.
Oh hell no she doesn’t get to tell you to move on
Yikes. She is not understanding at all and it doesn’t even seem like she’s trying. My sister and I went thru the same thing- same due date and everything- and she miscarried. I was so careful with her during my pregnancy. I didn’t push but I didn’t leave her out of things. It’s difficult to know what to say and it was so incredibly difficult for her at the time but she was there for everything. You should have an open and honest conversation with her and explain how you feel.
“Move on, she needs your help”? How about her supporting you and giving you room to grieve. Let her plan her own shower and do what’s right for you❤️
She is trying to involve you, so you won’t feel left out. I miscarried 7 times, do yes get over it. I have 4 beautiful girls
I to lost a baby and I didnt want to be around babies for awhile,or anyone expecting that lasted for awhile .I would just tell her that you cant deal with that right now if she cant understand that maybe shes not the friend you thought she was
Your baby died and your supposed to move on within 3 weeks.
You need a new best friend.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Do whatever you need to. I had multiple miscarriages and 2 micropreemies that didn’t make it. Prior to having my now almost 3 year old. I didn’t go to baby showers bc it was too emotional for me. People that loved me supported me and understood. She has no dang right to tell you to move on. That is so selfish and small of her!
No one can tell you how or for how long to grieve. Love yourself right now. I’m so very sorry for your loss