Routine might be helpful.
As mentioned above, routine is crucial, watch his diet and incorporate as little packaged food as possible, cut out all dyes, and lots of physical activity outside as well. Please stop spanking him, because studies have proven it raises the risk of negative psychological outcomes, and makes behavioural disorders worse.
Therapy, medication, structure, and a physical activity
They do not let him act that way at school. There are consequences. Children will only act the way you allow them too. PERIOD. Sounds like he needs his butt BUSTED.
Have you checked your behavior and language yet? Do you say some of the things your child is saying? Are you on your cell phone all the time or computer when he is around you? He may need more attention from you and acting up seems to fit getting more attention because you pay more attention to your child when he talks rude to you because you have to address the problem.
I would look into ODD it sounds like my 6 year old
Sounds like he needs a solid routine!
After a while of being on meds the body gets used to them and they don’t work as good or not at all,I went through this with my son and sometimes they are being influenced by their friends or peers
Give him choices. “Do you wanna clean your room or the dining room?” “Do you want carrots or corn?” “Do you want to play a game or watch a movie?” “Do you want to take a nap now or one in an hour?”
This helps because he will feel like he has a say in things and it gives him positive attention, positive feedback, and positive thinking.
You need to get professional help. Punishment does not work with children with ADHD. Look into circle of security. I promise you it helps tremendously!
Don’t spank. Routine and structure. Do not let the mouthing off get to you. You are the adult and can only control yourself. And read Ross Greene’s The Explosive Child
Have you spoke to his doctor about the change in behavior?
He needs routine and also he may have ODD
Structure!!! Every rule in the home must be followed to a T!!! No giving in. On top of this they need to keep busy. Their brains are going a hundred miles an hour and their focus is nothing without that structure and things to challenge their brain. I have raised these kids!!! We lived on a farm and we always had work to do. We also got them involved in wrestling at a young age. We encouraged exercise and sometimes used excessive amounts of push ups or squats or wall sits as punishments. Your punishments have to come from outside the box! It has to pertain to what they did. Slammed bedroom door, they lose their privacy. Became upset with a video game lose it. I also sometimes assigned sentences related to what they did wrong. Do not punishments out of your anger and frustration as he feels this will act out to this. If this means you taking a deep breath and sending them to their room and doing it a bit later then so be it. Trust me my boys got their asses whooped too, honestly that did no good. When these chores make them do them correctly. Also when you talk to them make sure you have their undivided attention talk face to face with eye contact. When they forget what they are suppose to do make them sit in silence and think about what it was once they figured it out they can do whatever it was. Stress balls, figit toys are a blessing. Honestly when they are stressing or can’t stop teach him how to use both hands to do something clapping snapping fingers rubbing eyes or head, figit legs etc. It is a proven fact that this has a calming effect on the brain-hence figit toys.
Love on him. Give him attention, let him pick the movie, choose where to eat. I was an “ADHD child” beaten my whole life, heavily medicated (until i realized the meds did the opposite), essentially treated like scum by my family. They didn’t understand, they didn’t try to understand, but I got the brunt of it all for something I couldn’t control. I wanted to sit down and watch a movie and maybe pick one for us all but my brother was clearly the favorite and I was cast aside because I had an issue nobody knew how to handle, nobody knew what I needed and in turn banished me to my room or beat me until the trust was absolutely gone. Sit down and ask, pace with him if he paces to get things off his chest. Sit there and listen. LISTEN. Keep your mouth shut and listen to your kid Because in that child is a little human that wants to be normal, who wants love and attention, who doesn’t understand themselves why they are the way they are. The drugs don’t always work. I was on Ritalin, strattera, methylphenidate, Adderall, concerta, all at the same time maxing out the doses with the works because the doc and my mom thought for sure I just needed meds increased. Most of my behavior was from hearing how mom and dad talked about me when they didn’t know I could hear them in the floor below me, their secret conversations that weren’t so secret with grandparents, friends, other family members. Talk with the kid not about the kid behind their back. Show love and support, even when the behavior is bad, offer a suggestion of a walk and talk, talk about the problem while being active so it helps relieve tension and nerves/anxiety about what’s about to be said.
My son is 12 diagnosed add ADHD at 6.
Structure and routine.
Make a schedule he can look at
No screens an hour before bed.
Hot shower or bath or hot drink before bed.
We still have melt downs once in a while but lord does the schedule help. And limiting screen time really made such a difference in his overall “attitude”
Well one things for sure. Spanking isn’t going to cure the adhd I suggest taking a few parenting classes…. I have take three in my ten years of being a mom, voluntarily when I found myself struggling with my kids. It may be exhausting but you need to do things to keep him busy and his mind stimulated and the ABSOLUTE best thing you can do is maintain as much patience as possible. Find him toys and activities to keep his body moving. A schedule is a very good thing to have in place. The way you talk is also the way they will talk. Leading by example and not “do as I say not as I do” would also help.
Scared straight program
I would recommend therapy my daughter is still on a wait list and we are patiently hoping to get in quicker than Oct she does see a neuro once a month as we just started the med process 2 months ago and a long hard road and I feel horrible not being able to completely understand her, hoping you the best momma
I know this sounds counter intuitive but switching to positive parenting had done wonders. We have chosen not to do meds unless as a last resort. But have made every effort to try to learn the tools to help out little guy manage/regulate himself. Ours never seemed to understand discipline and wouldn’t connect the dots. But he has flourished even with us working towards positive reinforcement and positive parenting techniques
I tried everything with my son at 6 when I started having the same issues to later find out he was odd bipolar and ADHD but of course in my case it came from his father. I would talk with his doctor.
Mom of 7 yr old ADHD child try to find their niche (ex my son loves Legos and spends hrs playing with them) offer choices, breathing exercises are amazing (we sit together on the floor and do this) routine for everything, once in awhile I allow my son to stay up 30 mins late for being really good.
Anthony Olsen read some of these comments
My son use to do that changed his meds and he is a different child
Replace screen time with a sport like swimming. It stimulates the body and calms the mind. Just keep him stimulated. I took tv and all video games out of my house. Made a big difference.
I have a soon to be 6 year old who’s been diagnosed with ADHD since last year. We started seeing a behavioral health therapist. He has taught me so much on how to handle his behaviors. I learned that I have to parent him differently than I parent my other kids. When he has meltdowns we gave him a safe space to let his aggression out. Kids with ADHD often have ticks to help them cope. For example my son likes to run all over the place as if he’s being run by a motor. The sound is annoying but I have learned that I can’t tell him to stop making those noises because they soothe him. We do breathing techniques and lots of routine/structure. But the biggest thing is educating yourself about ADHD especially taking him to a therapist and learning from the therapists the better ways to parent him and understand him. It has been night and day the kid he is today compared to this time last year.
School gives kids set schedules. Summer takes that away. Make sure you are doing your best to try to stay on a set schedule during summer.
I have a child same age same diagnosis keep a scheduale going and keep him busy that alone makes a world of diffrence but also make sure you are doing one on one time with them
Like already stated above, he more then likely has ODD with it. My daughter has both and it’s hard. He is probably just having a hard time adjusting to his new routine. Also, how much screen time does he get? I’ve been finding out if I limit my daughter’s TV/video game time through the week she does so much better. I just have to keep her busy with other stuff. So maybe find fun crafts/hands on things to do with him to keep preoccupied. Typically if my daughter gets bored is when she gets into trouble lol Wish you the best though because I know first hand how it is wanting to pull your hair out.
My 4 year old does that stuff and she is about Ronstadt Pre-K this year. Would that be a sign of early ADHD?
Mommy if his behavior has turned because he’s not in school at the moment then he is most likely bored see if you can get him into a program or an activity to get some of his energy out
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At school his mind is occupied for most of the day, he is focusing on school work. I found my daughter more of a challenge during holidays as she isn’t in her routine. I have gone and purchased some learning things for her and that keeps her attitude down.
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When they get bored, they’ll act up a lot of times. Also something may be bothering him. I would try to sit down and have a talk with him and let him vent just in case. Some kids will also do anything to get attention. They don’t care if it’s good attention or bad attention. They’ll do whatever it takes to just get some attention.
Get them on a strict schedule. Both my kids have adhd and i refuse to put either on medication ever again. They both have strict schedules they stick to and it works well for us.
I could have wrote this myself! My son will be 7 in September and is going into first grade but in preschool he threatened to shoot a girl in his class for accidentally stepping on his finger. The teacher said all was fine until he looked at her a few minutes later and said he was gonna bring his Bebe gun to school and shoot her. We don’t even have Bebe guns! But he lost his nerf guns. I threw them away. He didn’t have any for almost a year. We have issues with not listening and back talking cussing hitting and biting and kicking. His meds have helped some. But if you can find a place that accepts his insurance for behavioral therapy I bet it would help a bunch. We are on a couple waiting lists.
As a parent of an ADHD child (age 7), regular schedules and structures are SUPER important. My guess is he was on a nice routine he was used to and that changed. If it were my daughter, I’d sit her down and ask for her input in a new Summertime daily routine. Literally everything scheduled and creatively put on a weekly calendar that the child can see everyday.
I REALLY don’t mean to sound rude here but like…your child has a disorder that causes him to need extra stimulation and entertainment. Why would grounding him work? Or taking things away? And then hitting him when he doesn’t take that well?
Basically what’s happening here is you’re saying “you’re not regulating your emotions well so I’m gonna do something that will make you upset and if you don’t magically regulate your now exacerbated emotions I’ll do some more things to make you upset.” The problem is your tactics, they aren’t all that effective regardless and they’re definitely counterintuitive for a kid with ADHD.
I have adhd and any time people used to abusing me to make me something and it damaged me beyond believe, just be glad you don’t have an attention span that makes you relieve the people you love and thought we’re gonna protect hurting you for hours cause of mine I can sit there and tell you every single time I was in trouble for mine and abused for it. Adhd is not something that you can fix, or beat and punish out of them, try learning about it and the rest of the spectrums then when you stop taking your frustrations out on your kid, try talking to other parents of kids on the autism/adhd spectrums because even though there’s differences most of my more damaging symptoms I manage using autism coping mechanisms the others I actually channel and use to make my skills better. You have a six year old boy on your hands why not talk to him and ask him about it like he’s a human with feels, find a way for him to tap into his adhd and embrace it rather then punish him for being a little odd.
He is missing the routine and things to keep him occupied…free time seems to be worse on some kids. Keep punishments simple and very short. Long term punishments with ADHD doesn’t work. They lose focus on why they are being punished easily. Also your attitude in dealing with him makes a huge impact on how he responds to you.
Have him evaluated for Autism. A similar thing was happening with my son years ago and he was diagnosed with moderate Autism. It’s just a thought so you can rule everything out. God Bless you
As a mom with ADHD who has a child with ADHD, it is extremely frustrating because even when you UNDERSTAND, it doesn’t make it any easier. Most kids diagnosed with ADHD also have ODD, and you need therapy for ODD.
My son attends therapy and takes a low dose of medication but we still struggle. Most days are good but the bad days are very bad days. Just try to take a breath and come back to him when you’re calmer. It’s much easier to talk to each other calmly. I wish there were support groups for moms with children who have ADHD! Hang in there momma!
Also to add routines are a MUST for children who have ADHD. Do not skip over this. It is life changing.
Routine is #1. Stick to a schedule. Also…many children with ADHD will not respond to physical discipline.
It’s so important when they lose a privilege that it is not given back until the behavior is corrected, so many of us tend to give in just to avoid the fight. Don’t do it.
It’s so important to stick to punishments and not give multiple warnings (this was a game changer with my son).
They also need to keep busy, so providing good physical activities. I’ve found that sports are such an awesome outlet for my son.
Electronics are the devil to my son and are very limited.
Since implementing all of these things in my home, he’s done so much better.
But I cannot stress enough to not give in to bad behavior, stay strong momma. You can do this. I thought I was going to die the first month of really strict disciplining, but we made it and omg he’s a different child.
My boy needs structure. ALLLLLL THE TIME. Doesn’t matter if it’s summer, vacation, spring break…. He needs to be sweat of the change and it needs to be similar enough to his school days (wake up/breakfast, activities, home/dinner, bedtime) or he is out of control. He was diagnosed in February with ADHD and has since gotten more diagnoses that have completely supported him being on a schedule. My best bet is to start there and then look into Occupational therapy and or behavioral therapy it’s just an extra person to help get you through this super exciting time
My brother was adhd my mum spanked him it does nothing as they get bigger they hit back but my brother found control and patience in the army maybe see if he’s old enough for cadets or something along those lines with the highly strict structure
maybe time to reevaluate with his doctor, he may need a dosage adjustment or switch to a different medication and the doctor will be able to give you some good direction on how too handle the defiant behavior when the traditional routes are not working. With one of my boys we could do a med. break over the summer the other we could not… Through trial and error you will learn what works best for you, but when the going gets rough check in with the doc.
My son was diagnosed with ADHD and later, ODD. He is 20 now but I remember those younger years vividly! Keep him occupied… check with your library and see what activities they offer. Engage him with things that stimulate his mind. My son loved puzzles and Magnetix, legos… anything he could put together and build. It’s hard work, Momma. Hang in there!! It does get better! Sports also are great for getting rid of some of the extra energy.
Go listen to Janet Lansbury. She’s brilliant. I can tell you as an adhd/add person myself none of the grounding and spanking worked for me it just messed up my emotions as an adult lol. Janet does a great job of giving you the peace you’re searching for while also helping your child. Highly recommend her. She has a website and podcasts organized by what you are needing. Great books as well. But she’s really got it figured out I swear
is he off his meds now that school is over… a lot of kids once school is over have a med break, which yes is hard on us parents (been here done this with 2 boys at the same time)… i also know schools have set schedules which helps. Also i think at times kids in general the first summer out of school tend to freak out and try to push the issue of they have control… decide what is a honest battle… ( as in will the world stop moving if he eats a hotdog without a bun compaired to riding in the street )… i did over time find that keeping them mentally busy like with building things help… ( even if its pounding two pieces of scrap wood together, wearing an old shirt and making a mess that will not kill him)
This is how my son was. He was in prek this past school year and got kicked out of school many times because of his behavior. I took him somewhere to be evaluated and they diagnosed him with adhd first. Then came DMDD. He is now on medication for both and acts like a normal child his age. I am getting him into a day program, kinda like school. They have councilors and therapist talk to the kids through out the day. He will be doing that until school starts again so he can keep his normal routine.
I have a now 14 year old that has struggled the same over the years. With school they have structure, schedule and know what to expect during their day to day.
I do know when he doesn’t have that “stuff” to do or anything with an end result, he gets irritated and conversations about how he is acting generally don’t end well.
So during those non school days we try to take a vacation from the meds which is generally a day or two, or lessen his dose. Clearly speak to your pediatrician first, but that’s what ours has suggested.
We also do summer workbooks, different chores to keep him busy, it’s not always perfect but it gets better and better the older they get. He started to really understand what the meds do to him and how it helps but also how it affects his actions.
Good luck and don’t feel like a failure. You’re doing awesome!
I spend all my days with a 9 year old ADHD boy. I don’t like it when he takes his meds because he falls asleep. I have no say in that. He gets in his moods i redirect him take him outside kick the soccer ball shoot baskets . He also has a routine. And as much structure i can give him and he is good. Now for his mom it is another story. Structure and consistency is very important. Bad behavior has consequences . I do not punish him by taking away being outside because that helps with the high energy level
The best thing I learned was asking questions directly to those who are ADHD. Seek ADHD led groups. They can give you much better perspective than any parent.
Research ADHD. Look into courses you can take and seminars you can go to that teach you everything you should know as a parent of a child with ADHD. It’s not like raising a neurotypical child. It’s so different. They don’t have the capability to grasp things the same ways a neurotypical can. Also, do an assessment for ODD. From what you have written, it sounds like ODD is definitely a contributing factor there, and Adhd and ODD often go hand in hand.
During the school year, he has a repetitive routine. Structure. He knows what to expect day in and day out. When that structure is gone, it is very difficult to function. I know how he feels. I am an adult with adhd. The struggle is real, for both of you. Good luck momma
I say try changing meds, and I agree that some of his behaviors have nothing to do with ADHD
Take all the dyes and additives out of his diet. YOU.WILL.BE.SHOCKED. my son has adhd and was medicated when he was younger but we felt the medication changed his personality in a way that we didn’t like (he lost his “fun” side and was just kinda sedate), so instead we decided to change his diet. No meds after second grade and he is now 15. Do some research on food dyes (red40 etc) and ADHD. That’s just one mamas two cents for what it’s worth.
Maybe stop hitting, grounding & taking things away & set up a structured schedule that obviously works.
Why in god’s name would you punish him for a medical condition that is ravaging his mind & body, that he had no control over, & your lack of parental guidance in these time periods???
Get a new approach. Put your child & his needs first, reward good behavior. Start a chart, give red, yellow, & green stars. Give small rewards for green stars daily. At the end of week, more green stars gets a fun day out with parents, no work no phone.
For the love of all things quit hitting your kid.
Children’s behavioral health professional here… he is missing his routine and punishing him for his inability to adjust is making is behavior worse
Get him on a schedule, make sure all senses are stimulated throughout the day in appropriate ways, and for the love of god stop hitting your kid.
It does nothing but anger them and distort the relationship between you.
Mom of a 9 year old with ADHD. When he’s bored that’s how mine gets. I give him projects or simply send him outside to run laps to get energy out. I also make obstacle courses for him and my youngest. I put both my boys in karate. Which helps tremendously.
Unfortunately it gets worse before it gets better. My 9yr old daughters behavor has been unbearable the last month or so, to the point We are about to start medicating with a very low dose of an antiphyscotic drug. We’ve tried behavorial therapy(they told us we were doing pretty much what they would of told us to do…BIG help…NOT) we’ve been down natural alternatives and no go there either.
Her tantrums are beyond controllable atm.
*Hitting hard surfaces eg: walls, tables etc
*punching hard surfaces eg: walls, tables etc
*smashing her head on hard surfaces eg: walls, tables etc
*anything and everything is a projectile object
*punching herself in the head
*verbally abusive(says shit like "im going to make your head bleed etc)
She attends a specialist school and they are doing all they can to help there, they reckon shes good at school. They don’t see this behavior there. But her teacher did hear one of her tantrums over the phone a week ago.
Nothing has changed routine wise that we can think of that would of set her off. So we are currently sitting in the dark over here.
I have a 35 yr old son that started this behaviour at 5 nothing worked for me . He was on ever medication they could try poor kid was a Guinea pig for ADHDLDOD By doctors, But now he is a beautiful man & dad but has a bad temper
My brother had ADHD and what I remember worked best is mom counting down from 3 when he was being bad/not listening. She would ground him from toys he loved because anything else he didn’t care about at all. Idk if this helps any
Not saying you are, but anyone who gives their child their meds during school but not on wknds or not during summers… they are blood level meds. You are forcing them to start over over and over. As a 48 year old ADD adult, punishments does nothing.
Routine and structure but also keep him busy. He may be bored because he isn’t getting stimulation that he was getting at school…
My granddaughter has adhd and she is always on same schedule and it doesn’t matter what time if the year it is, she acts up. She has tried everything with her. The Dr. Won’t put her on meds even during school months so on some days she don’t do her work correctly even tho she knows how unless someone tells her to do it again and do it right. But not all teachers will do that and give her a chance so she just gets them wrong. When she gets in any kind of trouble or punishment she acts out more. My daughter is bout to go crazy. My granddaughter is 8 1/2.
Provide him structure. Make a routine and stick to it. Provide outlets for his energy. My kid is 4 and has adhd and without structure and an outlet she would drive me crazy.
My daughter has ADHD and odd and things that help me are taking her by the hand walking her to the bath and saying put your clothes in the laundry and hop in the bath instead of standing in another part of the house and saying bath time.
Giving him a choice like. You can pick up your toys and then we can draw or go outside or U can yell and cry and not pick up your toys and then U can go to time out.
I do this when she says “I don’t want to” etc giving them a choice makes them feel like they have a choice.
Positive rewards for good behaviour will work better than negative rewards for bad behaviour. So instead of if U don’t do this U will lose a toy or U will lose 10mins on your iPad, say hey how would u like to earn some minutes on the iPad? Ok well if U Can do this without backanswering/being rude then that will be 10mins on your iPad
A visual chart will help them see their rewards building up too.
My son was the same way. Perhaps it’s the change of atmosphere. My son needs structure so as soon as school is out he’s a lunatic with his behavior. The change sets him off. He’s someone who needs a schedule and when schools done and it’s summer break it takes him a minute to adjust. Good luck.
Definitely do a routine with him a home too. I do that with my son and he’s been good at home during quarantine. Keep him busy
I’d personally stop the meds, address his diet - no artificial dyes or preservatives, more hands on constructive play and outside play, and limit screen time. Yelling and spanking aren’t working for you or your child so why continue with those methods?
I understand the frustration, but there are so many better ways to handle it. The one thing we can control is how we allow ourselves to react to a situation. Constant yelling and spanking will only contribute to his destructive out of control behavior. He frustrates you so you hit and yell … HE’S frustrated so he’s destructive and doesn’t listen and then he’s punished with more hitting and yelling. It’s a vicious cycle that’s easy to get into and takes some serious determination and patience to stay away from.
I think there is maybe possibly more than adhd. but u have to keep a strict routine. I have kids that are about the same way. they are older now but til now they have a routine. if anything gets thrown off sometimes it’s fine other times their frustration goes out of whack but they don’t dare cross the line. keep working at it. take away the most important things as well. my kids wake up do chores,logged in to school work,returned laptops to my room,and then at a certain time could go on their phones,tvs,playstations,etc… and then weekdays they return it (phones,remotes,controllers)by 11pm and weekend by 1am. thats pretty fair for a 17yr old and 16yr old I say.
you are doing nothing wrong it is the way his brain works if money is not the issue try some type of martial arts it will help him in many ways with structure
The regular routine does help, I know I struggle similarly with my son because not only does he have ADHD, but so do I, so I really struggle providing a consistent routine. I’m sorry you’re struggling, but don’t feel bad, we all do the best we can. ((Hugs))
Take him to your doctor and let the doctor diagnose it fearing he might need his medication changed. I have a great granddaughter that has it and her a medication has had to be changed in the past. She’s doing much better on the new medication.
All this good advice plus continuously praise him for the small things he does right. They really do want to fit in and grab attention and sometimes we give them negative attention only so that’s what they know best. But they really do want to please so positive reinforcement goes a long way. They thrive on structure, regular Pep talk, praise and positive interactions with consistency. They’re very smart/intelligent and want to prove it to their parents (which is also their safe zone to let out the steam). Good luck and hang in there. It does get better. Keep him busy as mental and physical stimulation is crucial to their sanity and yours. And give him a 5-10min warning when doing anything new so he knows what to expect.
They will give you what you give them.
Also, they NEED routine and consistence. School is full of structure, home life isn’t so much.
I have a few books and create a routine of in the morning, they need to do “x” pages that I look over the day before. Have them take a shower, clean room and what ever else needs to be done. But I’m also flexible and don’t fill the day. Just enough so if they need/want something to do they can do it.
And don’t let the other stuff get in the way. Let it roll off to shoulders like water.
Routine and structure, ADHD is hard because they don’t want that but their brain needs it to thrive.
I raised two children with ADHD and it’s very hard, challenging and frustrating, overwhelming for you and the child. They can be very defiant, you have to have a lot of patience. There demeanor can change with a quick snap of fingers. As a mom I felt like I was a failure with them cause all the ways and steps that the doctors gave me to follow I wasn’t getting anywhere and they were going against me. I fought with both of them all the way til they turned 18 yrs of age. The son works for Little Tire and the daughter is from job to job and will not listen to a word I say. She is with a failure and he is a deadbeat. I love them both the same. I will always be there for them.
Unfortunately with ADD/ADHD kids, you can take everything from them and it isn’t going to matter. They will always find something else to replace it, even if you have taken everything from them. You can ground them for long periods of time, and it’s not going to matter. I swear my son also had Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I would tell him no, or don’t do this or that. He wouldn’t argue, he would just do it behind my back. I never did figure out what would work, but when he was about 17, he started to change. He started outgrowing it. When giving tasks, I was told, don’t give him more than 1 or 2 tasks at a time. Their brain gets confused and can’t grasp doing more then a few things at a time. You really need to talk to a professional. They can explain ADD kids much better and give you more options. Good luck
Try changing his diet. It has helped us. No sugar of any kind and no dye. It is hard at first but is very helpful.
As a parent of an 8 year old ADHD daughter, find out what hes interested in. Mine loves Legos, sand, coloring/painting, outdoors. Her attitude has since changed after school as well, but we use “clean up” time against her. Example, she cant go outside until her room is clean, she cant play with sand until the toy room is picked up, etc. She also has a mouth, but we talk to her and explain bad words and such to her. She was caught stealing, she isn’t allowed back there until she learns its not ok. Grounded her, took away toys, only had family time. She hasn’t done it since. Its a stressful time with ADHD children, but also a learning experience for every part of their life (parents, grandparents, themselves). Head up and breathe through it.
I know this struggle all to well! Started around age 7. ADHD,ODD, anxiety. As a parent when u have that much thrown at u, you have to decide, ok which is the biggest issue? Pick one thing to try to correct as I didn’t want to put my young developing child on many meds. Counseling on and off, trying many different meds, then no meds, occupational therapy, u name it. Chose to focus on AHDH meds helped things definitely improved, especially at school. He was also growing up and growing out of some issues. Then the aggression, out bursts, defiance got worse and I couldn’t handle it anymore so back to the drawing board. Re did all the questionnaires for the doctor and he said he thought he would get the most benefit out of dealing with the anxiety and trying meds for that. My son is now a totally different person. He’s doing so well. We can enjoy eachother now. He’s made many friends. It’s such a weight off my shoulders. It’s been 5 months since on these meds now. After 4 years of a fight and struggle to try to help him. He’s now about to turn 12 and although he definitely still has attitude, it’s normal at that age and manageable. So I guess I’m saying it’s a long battle. It takes work but there is a light once you find that thing that works. Perhaps exploring the idea it could be anxiety may give you some relief.
Therapy. I really think it helps. Send him to therapy once a week or so. Keep a strict schedule. Kids (all kids) thrive on schedules. Make sure he’s not taking his meds too early or late in the day.
MAMAS* my 9 year old has ODD & ADHD. What things do you give to eat without dyes & additives?
He is the pickiest eater.
Feel free to pm me. I have a 12 year old and he’s being diagnosed since he was about 8. And I understand the way you feel cause omg I was there
Idk if any one has tried standing face to face in the door way to talk about important things? Its just something i tried oit of frustration. The close proximity seemed to help him to focus on me and what i was saying and he began to understand that doorway talks required his attention.
He may also have ODD (oppositional defiant disorder), not much helps with that
as a woman who has grown up with ADHD, always include them. do 1 on 1 time very often. give them attention and then some!!! always let them know they’re valid. their feelings matter. never try to prove why you’re right to them because they always have a reason they truly feel they’re right. instead work around it. find out what’s bothering them, ask what they would like your help in. it takes extreme patience and love. but it becomes so easy for us ADHD people/ kids to feel unloved, invalid, and misunderstood.
My son used to do those “funny” things ( funny as in he finds it funny) he is testing his boundaries with you and like someone mentioned before maybe not having a set schedule like in school is throwing him off. Technically his responses point to that,he isn’t used to being able to do what he wants. He is old enough for a chat. My son would answer noooooo in cute funny way when asked if he was hungry,or if he wanted to do something or give a random answer. Then be like jk! Yes! But my mom told me to stick to his 1st answer. He learned real quick to quit. I would give him a taste of his own medicine. Since he can do it (his words) he can make himself a sandwich, if he doesn’t have to do something neither do you. It will take patience, but show him how you care for him,respect his needs and do for him, so he needs to do the same despite not wanting to. I hope I made sense. I know it is frustrating. My son has ADHD and we medicated for awhile. We saw some of these behaviors come back as a teen. <3 Hang in there mama. Stick to the consequences. I used time out/ nose on the wall and extra chores vs spanking for my son. He didn’t care if he got spanked.
Same boat! Only my MIL took it upon herself to tell me son the guanfacine he takes is messing up his body. Meanwhile, she has no idea what the medicine actually is and just knows from my son that he takes a pill before bed. Since he started it his teachers, cousins, family have all noticed such an improvement in him.
Consistency is key. Anytime their routine changes all heck can break loose. It’s so hard to keep a similar schedule to what he had at school but it really helps.
Write a schedule down be consistent let him see what he is to expect. These kids thrive on consistency and schedules.
I have put my 7 year old on dyanavel and it works great when taken at night. Helps balance her out and helps her focus. She is almost finished with summer school so after that, I plan on walking with her as she has asked per her request to start getting more fit.
Kids need to keep on a routine with ADHD. Just like kids who are Autistic routine is key. Activities are a must as well.
Routine. Keep him getting up at the same times, meals the same times and have some quiet workbook or reading time. It helps keep them on track and it’ll help him feel more stable
Do you spend a lot of time giving him positive attention and bonding with him to win his heart?
Try and make a a schedule that is kind of similar to like school schedules, mentally and physically they have to stay busy like in school they’re constantly busy they’re constantly studying well you don’t have to make him study all summer you can give them certain things to study give them certain things to do stuff that is a little more entertaining building painting anything like that that’ll keep his mind occupied for a long period of time my bonus baby is about to be eight and he has severe ADHD and he gets that way sometimes too but his mama keeps him on his medicine all the time not just during school he helps me around the house vacuuming dishes cooking mopping I give them stuff to do outside we also had a small pool which also help get out some of the energy he like decorating coloring he likes his Nintendo something that will keep their brain busy is the best
ADHD kids can’t process things the way you can. Think of a radio on scan flipping from station to station. That’s what their brain does. Medication helps, but with too much stimulation or interference, the brain goes back on scan. These kids need a routine or schedule. Simple directions. Not go clean up your room, but put the books on the shelf. When that’s done, tell them put the toys in the toy box. One direction at a time. ADHD interferes with impulse control, so as his frustration from no schedule increases, the control that tells him it’s not a good idea to speak to mom in that manner decreases. Spanking only adds to the frustration and develops anger. The condition gets better as they get older, but for now, consider time to get up, time to get dressed, time for breakfast, time for reading (keep this short), time for TV, time for lunch, etc. Keep this consistent day to day. You’d be surprised at the difference this makes.