Well… There may just be divorce in your future so yeah… you should probably stay home😆
9 Likes
Three hours away isn’t bad at all. You’re choosing your Mommy and Daddy over your husband. Selfishness at it’s finest
If you believe that family you came from is more important then the one you create then… well that speaks volumes. He may be better off… Still your choice tho.
1 Like
“You can do what you want, but I won’t support you”….is what you just said.
3 Likes
Your family is your husband and your children don’t be that person to separate your kids from their dad.
2 Likes
The family you made come before the family you came from! You need to trust and follow your husband girl! this is why marriages don’t work anymore!
When a couple gets married they become a family,yes you might love your parents and siblings but you need to be with your husband and children
Yes, he’s who you chose to make a family with. I would go, I moved to California from PA with my husband (marines) and it made us so much closer.
Wow that is selfish ! Unless you’re planning on getting a divorce
Go with him or divorce now.
1 Like
3 hours isn’t that far. Your family can always visit! Always support your spouse…
12 Likes
My dad always said to me to follow my husband. He’s your family now. Read the Bible. You became one.
I lived 17 hours away. Get over yourself.
1 Like
Well I mean when u married him. He became ur family. When ull had children than that’s should be ur first family. The rest family should be next. My opinion is why not negotiate with ur husband. 3 hours isn’t bad. I mean u could go visit on weekends or whatever. I’m sure he’s the one working and ur the home maker so why not try something new?
The Bible says " leave your father and mother and cleave to each other " .
2 Likes
Just don’t consider him selfish when he has someone else under him 3 hours away.
I would move to China to be with my husband:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
2 Likes
You aren’t wrong. Decisions like this are a joint decision, and one “no” is the veto.
Bills gotta be paid somehow if you aren’t working.
Three hours is nothing…
Immature yes … you are supposed to support your husband in his choices … I hope you don’t except him to send the money back to you while he is in there to pay bills … if you stay back go get a job to pay YOUR bills … get YOUR family to babysit … You guys are a team well are supposed to be anyway … but it don’t look like it on your end … you need to take a long hard look at your relationship. Because being in the military requires you to move a lot … you can’t alway hang on to mommy’s umbilical cord !! Your husband is trying to build a better future for you and his kids … you need to grow up child …
2 Likes
Nope. I lived the military life, I will never do it again. If that’s the choice he wants to make, see ya at holidays✌🏼I will never move far from my family for a man.
Chances are he’s joining atleast in part to support you and your guys kids. I get it, nobody wants to move or move away from family especially if they help with your kids. I’d move across the world with my husband if that’s where he was going. Your spouse should always be number 1. After all, that’s supposed to be your forever best friend. The way people treat marriage now a days maybe not, they treat as a dissolvable legal document, which it can be. But my vows to my husband before God mean everything to me and I’m going to stick by him especially when he’s trying to help out family.
8 Likes
When you get married you are supposed to make the family you are creating number one priority. I think it is selfish for you to stay while he goes. Three hours isn’t that far away.
42 Likes
You are unreasonable. You chose your family Over your husband. How do you feel if that is you?. I don’t think he’ll last with you, have a married man live by himself is not a good idea.
1 Like
Your husband and kids are your family now and this is a decision you guys need to make together. Living 3 hours from your extended family will be a lot easier than having your kids living 3 hours from their dad. Don’t be selfish.
I’m in the Army. 15 going on 16 Years in. Some Active Duty and now Reserves. My boyfriend is also Army. That is the Military Life. You go where the Military sends you. Sounds like you may need to adjust your thoughts and adjust to the Lifestyle. The Military Offers Benefits that will be great for you, him, and the kids. Especially 1 on the way. You’re being unreasonable here. If he Joins there is a Training Period so he will be living in the Barracks and Training. He has to Complete that 1st. Then once Training is done he will get his Assignment. It may not be the place 3 hours away. He is trying to better the situation for yall and be an active role in the family. But in all honesty this is a discussion for you and him to sit down and really talk to each other. Make a List of Pros and Cons. This should be something yall discuss and decide. Not for us to decide. In all honesty 3 hours is not far. I live in Del Rio, TX due to Boyfriend on Military Orders so we moved here and family is in San Antonio, TX 2 1/2-3 hours away. Me and my boyfriend make it work. Yes, we are Dual Military and we have 2 kids together an 8 year old and 17 month old.
1 Like
If you don’t want to do then dont, three hours isn’t that far though and perhaps a separation would work so he doesn’t have to give up his work for you.
100% selfish and unreasonable to be that way, yes. It’s 3 hours away per YOUR comment, not 3 continents away. Good lord. You sound extremely selfish and entitled.
1 Like
At least it’s 3 hours and not 3 states away 
you married him life isn’t all about what you want it’s about making hard choices even if you don’t like them
Selfish, not exactly. Immature, absolutely. 
5 Likes
Do you have a job that ties you there. If not, you’re in the wrong.
either support him or don’t is what it is. Like I told my wife I do that Army that’s how I support us pay bills etc if you don’t wanna move 1 i ain’t suffering where im at meaning I’m not being in some ghetto af apartment in the hood with nothing where I’m at 2 we can make different arrangements i ain’t forcing you to do nothing
Huh? Yeah you are selfish.
2 Likes
Did you not think when you married you had a new family. Yeah you are the jerk.
Your husband IS your family.
Period.
He wants a good job, opportunity for growth. Discipline. The opportunity for you to stay home and raise your children…
But you won’t support that?
It’s not selfish. Why is it ok for him to make a big decision on both of your life’s but you can’t a make a decision to stay. It goes both ways. Your not telling him he can’t. Your saying go for it, but you should not have to make the bigger change. You both need to talk more about it
4 Likes
Honestly, you’re married. You’re supposed to support one another. By not following, you’re denying your husband his kids. If the only reason you don’t want to go is because you’d be moving from your family, then yes. You are selfish.
1 Like
Yes, sorta. Tbe family you are building is the one your priorities are for. The decision ti move should be a joint one. It probably pays the bills nicely & makes your life & the kids life much simpler. When you married a Military guy you signed up for this. And you should be ok with that. I honestly think you should just suck it up & go.
Fuck your family that’s your husband and he comes first before your family.
No. You’re not selfish. You’re wants are just as valid as his. You didn’t sign up to be a military wife. It’s selfish he expects you to upend your life for him
6 Likes
Absolutely NOT selfish. It’s selfish of him to want to uproot you and the kids (while pregnant!!) to do this new “career path” good for him I respect it but not at the cost of your family. People say he’s your family but who’s helping you while he’s working long hours?? No one?? That’s BS! Totally not selfish. Stay where you are with support
1 Like
Put the shoe on the other foot, how would you feel if your husband said this to you?.
You should want to be with ur spouse. U should always support ur spouse and be there for him if he is wanting to better URS and ur families lives. Ur kids deserve their dad full-time. Not only when he or u drive to see them.
Yeah not selfish. Your husband doesn’t just get to up and decide he wants to work for the coast guard and you have to move 3 hours away with no support system. He doesn’t dictate your life and you Definitely didn’t sign up for that. He wants to go do that he can but I don’t think he should expect you to completely up root your life for shitty job.
Your children need to be closer to their dad. Youre thinking of yourself and not what your children need.
You also need to put your husband above your family.
3hours is not that bad.your family can come see you. Keep track of how many times that happens!
Could you stay with family until you have recovered from the birth of the child you are now carrying (1-3 months) and then move the family to be with him?
Do you work outside the home and need family for daycare? Is daycare offered at the new place and can you work remotely? If not, can you visit the base and get to know some other families you could count on for date night babysitting, play dates and socializing?
Generally Coasties aren’t deployed for long periods at sea or overseas like the other services, so it’s not like you won’t see your husband for months. How would you feel if he moved away with the kids and you didn’t get to see them?
At 3 hours away it’s not like you’ll never get to see your family either. They can visit on weekends and while 3 kids in a car for 3 hours going back to see them is no picnic, it can be done. Hint: drive at night when the kids wll sleep. Stay a couple days & go back home, or make it a day trip if no one can accommodate all of you overnight.
Is base housing an option? While not the best or most luxurious, you might be able to save money. Military healthcare is cheap and pretty good, and benefits are excellent in the long run if he stays in the service through retirement (generally 20 years). You may get other benefits and discounts you couldn’t get as a civilian too. If you can shop at a commissary you’ll save money on food, and the base exchanges have good deals on everything else. Sometimes you get free tickets or entry to free military performances or shows.
Not sure if you would have access to special lodging like the Hale Koa hotel on Waikiki beach, or space available travel overseas.
If you’ve always lived in the same town it’ll be good for you to get out of your rut and experience new people, places and things! Like the old Navy ads said, “Not just a job, Adventure!”
Unreasonable. I get wanting to be near extended family, but your hubby n kids are your family now. You can visit extended family
I think you just don’t want him to excel :c
A career in the coast guard will set your family up with security and a beautiful retirement. 3 hours is a compromise not a sacrifice! I moved from one side of the country to the other to accommodate my husband’s career. Your life is with him and your children. Support him so his mind is at ease when he’s out at sea ! The last thing you should do is hold him back or cause him doubts and stress. Yes you’re selfish. 3 hours … come on. Try it , see how it goes atleast!!! He deserves that I’m sure.
I was a Coastys wife. Lived on the west coast. First station, Baltimore. No guarantee. It’s a big step. Sure he’s not looking for a way out?
I thought it’s for better or worse
Do you have a job?.. or do you depend on your husband financially?
I moved 14 hours away from mine wen mine was in the army. you make it work and get to see them every major holiday pretty much. And there’s a huge sense of community if you find the right people. You can always move back home, I really think you should give it a shot. Just my opinion😊
You’re both being selfish in different ways.
My husband is making the choice to join the army and we have been talking and I am willing to leave all of it behind so the family I created stays together, he wants to better not only himself but our lives so I’ll gladly follow him with our kids in tow wherever he is stationed, that means leaving behind my mom, dad,my grandmother and all my siblings that I’ve never been away from
The family you come from is important but the family you’re creating is priority
No. He is the one that wants to take a job away from where you are now. Probably hasn’t considered that moving will take you away from your support system when he is away. No doubt he and others will try to guilt trip you because he wants to “serve the country” but ultimately he is the one that wants to move away.
Yes you are being selfish. When you took those vowels you agreed to put him first and your family second. That’s not what you’re doing here.
I’m sure he will find a less bothersome wife where he moves to