Harsh but get rid you deserve better your already answering your own questions 
sorry x
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It seems like he may have checked out emotionally. More than likely heās found someone else where he spends most of his time.
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He has a girlfriend. Hire a private detective
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Youāre over here arguing about who he friends with on Facebook, instead of the fact that he aināt been home for a YEAR?? Why have you not moved to this other state?? Heās been working there for a year. Thatās not exactly temporary. I have 2 kids and I wonāt have my husband gone more than 12 hours a day. Didnāt make them myself, not raising them myself. I do 98% of it because he works hard outside the home, but there is not a job that pays enough to have him only home on weekends for a freakinā year! We discussed that job too. Iām like, āCan we afford a nanny and a maid with that job? No? Thank you. Next!ā lol! And I trust my husband in EVERY way. He can go to dinner and a bar with his exes for all I care. I KNOW him, inside and out. You donāt even trust him to be friends on Facebook with girls, and you thought this lack of trust would be fine with him gone for a week at a time?? Pfffft. gtfoh. You all need counseling and a new job.
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Come on itās him not you heās a married man with four kids and shouldnāt be doing any of that she has a problem and tell him to knock it off
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I meant he has the problem not you
Needs to be home more and help with his family or moved to the state where heās working sounds like a jerk
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You already know the answer. Good luck and stay strong.
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Your not wrong. He is making you feel like your wrong to divert from the real issue. The real issue is him not being home, not helping raise his kids and not being there for you emotionally or physically. You both need to sit down and think about what you both want/need, because him not being there for a year can change things, and not for the good.
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Girl fuck him put your foot down
Kick his ass out! Just because he works he doesnāt have to do anything to do with kids etc! Tell him not to bother coming back and he can take the kids on his time off give you your much deserved break
Blame shifting on his part
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Start setting aside a little bit of extra money when you get to a place where you have a comfortable amount and you have a support system walk away run actually
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Girl it sounds like youre killing itā:muscle: a job, school, and 4 kids?? Like damn. Youāre already doing it all yourself. If hes cheating, Get that bag and leave 
You already know, otherwise you wouldnāt be posting an anonymous question on FB.
The first of many problems here is that in my opinion, only ONE job should have a man or woman away from their family that much and thatās being deployed in the military. Anything other than that, he should be looking for a job near the home, or the family moving the home to the job.
His not understanding how hard it is to be alone for weeks at a time with 4 kids is also a problem. He made those kids too, and should hold an active role in raising them instead of showing up for 1 or 2 days every week or 2.
You have the right to ask your significant other to remove women from social media that he has been intimate with. He also has the right to refuse as one spouse does not get to choose the friends of the other if trust has never been broken. Itās not ok for him to pretend to have cut ties with them, but then sneak around behind your back and still remain in touch. Thatās where itās shady.
From what youāve said here, thereās a lot of gaslighting on his part, and that alone is a giant red flag that something is not right here
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Treat him how he is treating you. The reality of this is, he is either cheating or keeping his options open
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Thatās to long to be away from home . It happens.
Iām sorry but you already know he is cheating if not in person threw social media. The way he treats you is clear he has no respect. Yes of course its easy to say leave him but with whatās going on with the pandemic even if not you financially need him for now. So start putting money away that he can not find. Itās pretty easy if you go to your bank or a different one and explain what is going on and you need to set something up for you and your kids safety as you will need to survive on your own. They can help you figure out how and were to cut costs so you start to save. You also need to bring in a second income as savings only last so long. At a bank they can help you with a financial planner and also go to your family doctorās office and they have social workerās that can help you make plans and have the resources you may not know about to insure you can survive without your husband when the say comes you have to take your everything by yourself. This kind of social worker is very different than the kind of social workers you may he thinking of. They can also help with resources if you need help with a legal aid or court system stuff about the children. You can keep fighting with what you know is coming and that is your husband leaving or treating you like his baby sitter not his wife and the woman he loves and respects. You know more than any if us but itās pretty clear. Iām sorry I understand this painful situation and a marriage ending with children and having such a young child too is devastating. Please donāt procrastinate is the longer you wait to start protecting you and your children financially the harder it will be to keep your family safe with a roof over your heads and stability for your children. Yes itās bad for you but your kids come first and you know that. So your just going to have stay strong until you make sure you have everything your children will need and then you can deal with the pain your husband did to you. Go get therapy for you and the kids, you can fall apart but then you must get back up. Your a strong amazing mother donāt forget that. Your children will understand this and in the long run respect you and love you for making sure they had stability and everything they needed because you didnāt let him tear you down.
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If you have to ask the question then you already know the answer
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Sounds to me like heās enjoying himself with somebody else donāt be dumb anymore
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Looks like heās being shady
My poppop on my āovenā side had a whole family on the side. Including 2 kids. I kid you not. But that was in the 80s I believe. He came home on the weekends worked 3 hours away. So yeah itās very possible
He needs to get a job where you live or you move to where he is working. And him basically telling you to suck it up?? He can go suck a dick. You are the one doing all the work while he is out doing whatever he pleases.
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As hard as it will be at first, RUN and collect your child supportā¦sounds fishy to me.
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Sorry but he probably has anothet life out of state. Time to cut ties. He is pointing the finger at you to deflect it away from himself.
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If youāre unhappy, i would leave. Doesnāt seem like it bothers him to be away and that actually being there is a burden to him.
Youāre not the one being shady honey.
Listen ive been there done it an i was stupid for staying longer then i should always. Point is his ass is cheating ive seen all the same signs. What u need to do is wrk on plan B which is yourself an ur kids. Its already over so u need to act like u dgaf show him u dont need him an give him the cold shoulder. Start planning on ur nxt move without him but get his ass good for child support an whatever else. Get that evidence for court. U can do it.
He definitely has something going on where heās staying through the week. Even if he wasnāt the way he treats you is horrible. You donāt need him as youāre already doing everything yourself. Youāre doing an amazing job, Mama! Pack his shit and tell him to fuck off. You want someone who wants to be your partner and that both of you encourage each other.
How was he before? Otherwise, I canāt give an honest perspective. Tell him, ālook i love you very deeply and you are hurting me whether you understand it or not, so, until you figure out your feelings and wants, donāt bother coming home on the weekends or texting/calling me.ā And stick too it. Then, the ball is in his court.
Shady afā¦this man definitely has a life in another state and sounds like he doesnāt want his family, probably just doesnāt want the responsibility of child support. At the moment, heās got the best of both worlds,. Boy bye, time to run momma.
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Go visit him āunexpectedlyā and see whatās going on first handed
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Nawā¦ time to make time to take a road trip with hubby. If he says no, then thereās your answer. But, me? Iām that one who will make that trip unexpectedly to find out just what the hell is going on. Respect is supposed to be mutual, not one sided. Being overwhelmed at home by yourself can take itās toll on you. Time for him to step up and do daddy duties at times. While I get he works out of town and shit BUT it takes 2 for kids. Either step up or ship out. You never allow a person to make you feel less than you are. Sometimes you need that āhandāā¦ that āhelping handā and if he canāt do it, he needs to go. Easier said than done but life is too short for all of that
Girllll leave him. Heās a shady mfker. Be petty right backā¦put his ass on child support. F him!
You already know. He left the marriage. Emotionally physically everything. If divorce isnāt an option then work on it. But to each their own. If it was me. I would leave him.
Love is blind itās hard to believe but itās TRUE heās leading a double life. And your not part of it nor his childrenā¦sock it to him baby in court
No person is worth it ever
Get rid of him! Youāre already doing everything yourself. You Midas weāll get child support & alimony for it. Heās not helping you in any other way. Get yourself a good lawyer.
Will he see a marriage counselor? If you ask for a sit down would he be willing? This year has sucked for everyone. If he is unwilling to have respectful open communication then you have your answer. Find the proof of what you all ready know.,Is money unaccounted for? Can you or someone you know see what heās up to when he is in the other town? See a lawyer,make a plan and stick to it. Sorry Hon.
You would think being away from you so long that youāre sex would be great! & he would just want too be all over you! Seems weird too me sweetheart
Honestly if I were in your shoes and was able Iād go file for divorce and custody of the kids. Sounds like he is living as a single man and thatās what he wants. So Iād leave him to it.
From personal experience, when your S/O is not giving you the support you need and deserve, and tries to switch the blame on you. Heās trying to make you see fault in yourself, to take the heat off of himself! Being gone so long, and lack of sexual interest, Iām sorry; but heās 9/10 seeing another woman and ESPECIALLY if he has those women on another social media account.
You need to have a sit down with him, make him understand you arenāt ignorant; you see whatās going on, and what steps are you guys going to take TOGETHER or APART
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Divorce him. Hes definitelyvcheating!
If youāve communicated that you need to have some help or be reassured, and hes not willing to do that small request for you, that is its own problem. I hope that you two can figure it out, but everyone deserves someone willing to step up or at least try when asked. 
Cheating or thinking about it.
Trust your gut, and give Leslieās suggestion a tryā¦ Lay it on thickā¦can NOT live without himā¦kids reallly need him tooā¦decided to āsurpriseā himā¦isnt this fantastic???
Hubby is getting sex somewhere else. Anyone thatās gone for months on end (even my military husband) would attack my body (in a sense) when he got home. Your instincts are right on. Confront him. He isnāt be faithful to you in any way with talking to these other girls. You are already doing everything by yourself, so why keep trying to salvage something that sounds as if he doesnāt want it saved. Trust your instincts because womenās intuition is usually right on! Good luck.
Sound like he has a side chick and doesnt want to leave it. Look into get a lawyer and child support . If you find pics of new chick. Make sure to get all you xan on him. Doesnt sound like he is happy with his family anymore.
Sounds like your basically on your ownā¦make it official. No need for extra BS in your life when your already running the show
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He is cheating or trying to cheat. He said you are being petty
Wow, I would have kicked him between the legs. Does he send all his money home? How do you take care of the bills?
Youāve been taking care of his kids & house & you know what heās doing. I would divorce him, & make sure I received alimony, child support, & anything else my lawyer could get. Iād do my very best to make sure he couldnāt afford a cup of coffee, or other women. Cheating is the ultimate betrayal 
.
Next time he leaves for the WORK, tell him stay there, youāll ship his stuff left at your house.
If he acts shady then honey he probably is trust your gut kick him out
Nope ā¦ not over reactingā¦tell him to get out !!! You already know whatās up !
Sounds like Narcissism at its finest.
Sending Prayers 
Sending Prayers
Sweetie you need look long and hard at everything heās doing. Turn into a pi. BUT, and I cannot stress this enough, please be prepared for what your going to find. Because from your side it sounds like heās living a complete separate life with someone else. Js
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I lived this SAME EXACT life 14 yrs ago. We had 3 children! He worked out of state came home every 3 weekends and I went through the same thing! He was having an affair in the state he was working in for about 3 months before I finally figured it out. He was actually living with the girl. I divorced him and he ended up marrying her! I hope this is not your situation but be careful! Good luck!
Youāre finally waking up to the disrespect. Heās counting on the gas lighting to work like itās worked for years. Stand up for yourself. Asking for emotional support while being basically a single parent is the LEAST you could do. If he has this reaction to such a simple request for equality then you know what you need to do and your second guessing your boundaries. Donāt.
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Iām definitely on the ākick him to the curbā team. You deserve respect, bomb ass sex, loyalty, and more for all that you do for that man and his kids. Just remember what one man wonāt do another man will. Donāt let him try to tell you thereās no one out there whoās going to treat you better because thatās the lie of the insecure
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Give him your account number tell him to stay where he is and put the child support in the bank
Overreacting big time!! Let him be and do his own thing. You have a roof over your kids heads and clothes on their backs and food in their stomachs what more do you wantā¦
He may not want you anymore but just be thankful he hasnāt kicked you and your 4kids to the curb bc he probably found someone better then you and kid freeā¦
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Girl if hes gone for a long time and comes home after not seeing you to talk like thatā¦hes already moved on and you need to as well!
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You are not over reacting! And your husband needs punch to the throat by the sounds of it too.
Follow your gut mama 
It doesnāt lie
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Well sounds like youāre married but alone , so mays well be alone , get rid heās no use.
No; Kick his ass to the curb
Just leave , nothing left!
1st let me say that Iām sorry youāre going through all of this. There is nothing easy about it and there are no simple answers.
2nd, it sounds like you need to decide what it is that YOU really want. Given the situation, do you still want to be with this man? Are you happy with him? Do you really feel that there is a chance for reconciliation? Would he even be willing to try? If any of those honest answers arenāt what you would want them to be, then you already have your answer - you just need to decide to take action.
As for the question of whether or not youāre over reacting, itās fairly simple - if it looks like a duck, acts like a duck and quacks like a duckā¦ itās probably a duck. You feel insecure for a reason and, no, you are not overreacting.
My 1st instinct says kick his a** to the curb, but I also have 4 children with my husband and know itās not as easy as that. If it were me I would do as others have suggested and pay a surprise visit to him wherever he is staying. See what heās really up to and if it doesnāt fit your picture of what itās supposed to be, itās time to go. But before you do make sure that you have your ducks in a row there at home so if things have to change quickly, you have a plan. If it turns out that you donāt need it, thatās fine. But if you do you will want to act quickly so you donāt talk yourself out of it.
Good luck to you. I hope that no matter which way that this goes you remember that you are important, your feelings matter and you deserve the very best.