so my boyfriends mom has been offered to watch our 2.5 year old. she never does or will say she is off and can do it but never follows through. At my son’s baptism she said how my daughter should spend the night with her they’d have so much fun. she is known for a drinking problem. she also is moving around alot from not living with her bf to living with her bf. what would you do?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do?
She’s not stable, I’d say no.
Nope. Absolutely not. If you do, you’ll end up worrying all night.
I’d be a good Mom and cut her toxic alcoholic ass out of my kids life.
You’re really not considering leaving your vulnerable child with a known alcoholic who doesn’t even have a stable home, right? ￼
Go with your gut. And it seems like your gut is telling you NO!
She wouldn’t get my kid ever she can see that baby at your house where you can see she is so er or not no drunks around babies seriously
No way she seems un fit to watch your child and yes go with ur gut and by the sounds of it it’s a big NO
I would pay for a sitter just for the peace of mind and be able to enjoy my time away
I wouldn’t let her stay with her but I would give her the option to spend the night with her at ur house that way u can be there to
Nope !! You lost me at drinking problem
Whatever is in the best interest and safety of your child.
If it were me I wouldn’t even ask or offer for her to watch them.
If she can’t be responsible for herself or reliable when she does offer then I feel the trust with a child needs to be earned.
It only takes 1 mistakes to end in tragedy unfortunately and you would never forgive yourself
Nope. I wouldn’t trust her.
My ex’s mum was like that. I have her a chance and she went out and left my daughter alone with her 9 year old daughter! When I found out, WW3 happened and never let her having mines again! I didn’t even leave her in the same room…
Follow your gut, if you don’t think it’s a good idea, don’t do it!
Why would you offer an unstable alcoholic the chance to watch your child(ren). Smdh.
If she isnt stable and doesn’t have a permanent residence that there will be a set schedule, don’t do it. It will make things confusing and will make you stressed out. It’s not even worth it.
Nope. You treat my kids exactly the same or don’t treat them at all.
An let’s make sure she can take care of her self before we sends the kids.
scratch her off the list as babysitting options
Sounds like you already know what to not do , child first
Obviously if she never follows through and doesn’t have a stable residence then it should be a no.
The answer is obviously no. But since you asked. I wouldn’t let someone so unstable near my kids🤷🏻♀️
I wouldn’t leave my child to be babysat with someone unstable. Mom or not.
No. Don’t allow inconsistency into your kids life.
I guess I’m confused…this women has never done anything to u besides not be consistent or follow through which really isnt effecting u or ur kids. It seams like that’s a whatever kind of situation…so ur not gonna allow a relationship with ur kids for what reason?? Because u dont agree with her life style? How is her living her life the way she wants weather u agree or not effecting u and urs?? If ur concerned about her living situation and the kids being there invite her to ur home I feel like theres way more to this i dont think it’s as simple as ur trying to make it seam.
Keep her away. No way she’d have my child like that.
Irresponsible grandma that.
That’s a no for me. God forbid she gets in the car with your child drunk. You have to be a mom first, because if something happened, you’d never forgive yourself
If she never follows thru then don’t worry about it. But I wouldn’t let her take them alone or overnight if she ever does show up for them.
Obviously you’re unsure of the situation and her, so go with you gut instinct. If she can’t treat both of them the same then she don’t need to be around them. And if she has a drinking problem why would you even question what you should do? So you would be okay with your child going over to a drunk persons house for the night? Yeah I think not.
So, drunk, inconsistent, not reliable, no stanle living. And you’re asking if the baby and little girl should go and stay over with her and the boyfriend.
Not if she has a drinking problem and unstable. You might regret your decision if you let her go there. My mom was a heavy drinker and believe you me, I was the last thing on her mind.
Keep my kids away. Why would you trust her with your kids?
If you’ve noticed the inconsistency with her then why would bother at all? I would just find someone else who’s more reliable and just take what she says with a grain of salt honestly.
Nope. No overnights until they’re much older. That was my rule with mine so I’d just tell her that. She can watch her for a few hours if your comfortable but other then that I wouldn’t do it.
You already know the answer. Use common sense. Your mom instincts are waving the red flags. Don’t allow this.
This is really a question??
Why would you even need to ask a bunch of stranger in the net what to do
She can come to your place to watch your child(ren) if anything at all.
Ask yourself what type of environment do you want your daughter exposed to? I would think not honey.
She is absolutely not able to care for those kids!! Big fat no!!
Doesn’t sound like you need to do anything
Unless she is tell the kids they can come over and not following through
You already question it and your daughters safety, so no.
Sounds like you dont think shes capeable. Does she get drunk or just have a drink. Maybe she can take her ahopping for an hr or so…and see how that goes or to get icecream or go to the park…maybe she drinks bc shes lonely…but always follow ur gut with your kids…if u feel shrs going to drink heavily while she has your child I would say no and talk to her about it…tell her they are a handful at that age and need constant supervision…is her house baby proofed…or could she be in danger …theres lots of responsibility minding children involved…is she aware of that…its tough but your kids are your most precious persessions and ur job is to keep them safe…even if that includes from their grandparents…
That’s pretty simple nope you wanna have a girls night stay here all go out you can have your time but I’m my safe space
If she never follows through, and doesn’t have a stable home, and has a drinking problem, then she obviously isn’t reliable and responsible. This isn’t even a question, it’s a heck no. If she wants to spend time with your daughter, all of y’all can go out and do something… she doesn’t have to spend the night for her to spend time with her.
nada…never…no way…nope NOPE
About what? You said she never shows and has a drinking problem anyway.
Why is this even a question?
Consistently unavailable and can’t manage herself?
I wouldn’t offer it to her knowing she is an alcoholic and men hopping… No way!
Just tell her you will arrange it when you can and then never do.
Your asking us because ur 2nd guessing yourself. Thats a no then. Go with ur gut!
Kids are smart so if you think she’s hurting them by not following threw they will see it eventually
I wouldn’t let her spend the night but we are also vouching for our kids not to spend time any where unsupervised bc of SA.
Why is this even a question?
Uh drinking problem then nope
I did the same thing with my mom one night because she adamantly promised me she wouldn’t drink. Long story short, after that night, she didn’t see her grandson for over 2years until she graduated from rehab. Please don’t do it & explain to her why so she can be aware of how much her choices are affecting her life. Encourage her & be supportive in her getting help, if she will let you. If she can’t understand, then let her go.
Read what you said… does that sound like a safe situation to put your child in? I would never……￼
A big no for me. Until she gets her life straightened out.
Only way I would let her watch my child, is if she wasn’t drinking. If you don’t feel comfortable with it then don’t let her take your kid doesn’t sound safe so tell her the truth
Invite her to stay at your house
my mom is the same way and is trying to clean up and move closer to me by herself. She has made comments about buying a pull out couch and getting a pack and play for my kids “in case i let her babysit” i told her she has a lot of trust to gain before so she should hold off. she got upset but the safety of my kids is more important than her feelings
Don’t leave your child with her ever
If you really want to build that relationship while helping her… motivate her to get sober and the time she does spend with your kids make it a family night at your place
Why can’t she stay at your house?
A drinker, bf to bf and unstable living arrangements. NO! Big red flags.
I’d probably say “sounds good! I’ll let you know when would be a good time” and never follow through.
Wouldn’t be leaving the child with her unsupervised
Offer her to come spend the night with your son at your house. That way you’re there to supervise but your son still gets time with grandma.
My grandma had a drinking problem and she would watch my mom’s 5 kids every day during summers. We were never in any danger. She didn’t drive, and she wasn’t abusive in any way. Just because some people drink, doesn’t make them a danger to kids. Some people do crazy and dangerous stuff when they’re drinking, though. If she’s one of those crazy, mean, the alcohol affects her in a negative way or she drives drunk, that’s a definite no.
Some one that inconsistent wouldn’t be watching my child alone. Not to mention the drinking problem. Where would she be watching your child? At your house or her boyfriends? If you want her to watch your child make her come to your house and tell her that she cannot drink while your daughter is under her care, or leave with her unless permission is given. OR if you don’t want her to and want to do what she does to you, say sure and never get back with her.
Your child and their safety are 100% more important than your boyfriends mom’s feelings. If you don’t feel that she would be safe with her DON’T DO IT. Don’t ignore your gut, you may regret it. Not trying to sound mean or doom and gloom but you never know now adays.
If she has a drinking problem… then what are you questioning? That should be an automatic no. Right?
Read this post again, I wouldn’t leave my dog with her
Offer to have her stay the night with you. I wouldn’t leave my child alone with her.
Not no but he** no, a drinker who you can’t rely on?
Do not let your daughter go with her. Period. Whether she promises you she’s not drinking or not. I tried to give my mother the benefit of the doubt snd trust that she wouldn’t drink and she would protect my daughter and it cost us 2 staples in the back if my daughters head at 3/4 years old. My mom tried to tell me she was fine and hide the blood all over my daughter’s head and down into her hair that it stuck to her neck. Now my daughter is 9 and my mother has been in the hospital about once a month this year because of the drinking. Not to mention the behavioral issues my mother caused with my daughter. Until they get their drinking under control I wouldn’t trust it. For you and your baby…
Your daughter does not need to be subjected to that type of life regardless of whom the relative is!
Nope nope and nope - sorry I would not trust her.
If she ever would watch her it would be at your house only
If you’re asking, you already know. Trust your gut!
I would not leave my child with her. Let her spend the night with you
Nope I couldn’t let any my kids go with a drinker plm. My mother in law was drinker and my daughter is super strict with herself and her brother. My mother in law want to take my kids for Christmas shopping. I told her no drinking she look at me I promised my daughter texted me thru her grandma phone said we are doing great grandma isn’t drinking just had water and soda. But my mother in law said I like to spend few hours with kids and can’t have them at my house because I drink she admit and want to keep the kids safe. She made me feel better and do right thing in wise. Very hard to trust but my daughter knew how to call me or text me like a 911 and refuse to get in car or being left alone if she drink she will said no grandma please don’t ruin she respect my daughter they are like best friend.
Nope. No Contact is better.
don’t worry about it just live your life You can not change someone else just yourself
She’s not stable. Forget it. Shady family.
Go with your instincts. If you feel it’s an unsafe situation don’t allow it. Maybe suggest she have a sleep over at your home with her grandkids. Blame it on separation anxiety.
Smh ￼ clearly you’ve made up your mind already, hence this post that you’re just talking shit about your mom in it whether it’s true or not… but the fact is you’ve made up your mind you just want us to tell you and agree with you…
You know how your mom is, so you know how well she will be able to care for them,
Does she drink WHILE she babysits???
If you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t feel comfortable… it’s that easy.
How bad do you need the daycare, how well do you know the mom‘s boyfriend for him to watch the kids? Does he think of them as his own grandbabies? ￼￼￼￼￼￼￼￼
Tell her to come to your house and spend time with her and she can spend the night too with her but at your house Inknow sometimes you need advice and opinions but she’s your daughter You already know what are the consequences if she doing all that funny moving and stuff
That’s a big no. My mother struggles with alcoholism as well and struggles with sobriety. My kids have not spent the night with her And I definitely haven’t been alone with her at all. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen her too much. I would not allow it. I love my mom and she has to have a good amount of time of sobriety and prove that she’s stable before I would trust her to be around my kids.￼
If you trust her, if she’s good with the baby, if she can not drink while she’s there, I don’t see the issue.
Let her drunk a— stay right where she is!!! Nooooo nope nooooo
If she has a drinking problem and doesn’t have a stable place to live I’d say hell no.
Why would you let her ‘watch’ any child if she is a drinker?! Supervise any contact.
Do u really have to ask u no the answer already it’s a no way
I’d keep my kids with me.
the answer is NO !!!
Nope. Not if she’s drinking.
Nope. If she never even spends time with her like an hour or two here and there then overnight isn’t happening for us. If she’s constantly moving around and has a bit of a drinking issue then she’s unstable, maybe not mentally but I’m not letting someone take my daughter overnight to a house I don’t know inside and out
Absolutely no way let your children alone with her and any current boyfriend.
Asking if you should let an unreliable alcoholic babysit your toddler? Is this a joke?
She was ‘offered’ to watch your kid?
I’d grow up and watch my own kid or pay for responsible daycare.