What should I do?

Stop pushing your agenda on him. It’ll push him away from you in a big way. Support his decision and your anger is because you can’t control him. Stop it!!
Parents often use their children to live what they’d want. Forgetting its not what the child wants for themselves. Help him find himself through supporting his decisions. This is a you thing not your son thing. I say back off and shut it.

As someone who changed coasts (east to west) and High Schools at 16 … DO NOT pull him from private school at this juncture.That all important junior year is coming up and a new school at that for no other reason bc you’re upset he won’t play :soccer: is a recipe for disaster. Some kids may surprise you but it’s hard to create a new friend group in HS at that age. I would think long and hard and have honest conversations w him and yourself about expectations and make some adjustments.

You’re looking for bragging rights you need to put your ego in check this is his life not yours just make sure he is safe ask him what he wants to do what his interests are

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Give him a break. So what if he wants to take the next year of his life off. Sports are alot. Maybe he just wants to focus on school. As long as his grades are up then let him be and if he’s been in private school his whole life you shouldn’t switch him. One public school would eat him alive. It would be like he was being punished for not wanting to play sports. Then there is the point of his friends are all in the private school. Starting over at this age is not easy at all.

Maybe you should try going to work all day. Doing work around the home and then go play on an adult sports team and see if you last a few years. Maybe sports are too much for him right now. If he’s not a bad kid let him be himself

You should do nothing. Sounds to me like you are trying to force him to where it could possibly benefit you in the future. If thats the only reason you put him in school then you’re not thinking about his education. A mother who thinks on the best interest of a child wouldn’t be posting something like this.

It’s his life not yours, just saying. I imagine he has his own opinions and dreams. Support him in those.

Let’s hope you have him in a private school for more than sports. Sports are generally NOT the strong point for any private school/college. With the exception of possibly Notre Dame.

Wow way to listen to what your son wants maybe he should pick a sport for you to be forced into playing so you can see how he feels. Listen to your kid

Hey did you know that your son is a human who has decided he doesn’t want to do these things maybe because he doesn’t enjoy them. Get over it because that’s life.

He’s 15!! Let him make his own decisions on what sports to play, clubs to belong to, friends to have. At 15 you should be ready to loosen the reins a bit.

He has got to be allowed to make his own decisions, we had our son in all sports and in high school he played hockey. Travel hockey. As soon as university started he decided to be done with sports but he has taken up going to the gym. He loves the gym . I learned the hard way that I cannot force him to do something he does not want to do. Eventually, they are old enough to make their own choices in life.

If your kid doesn’t want to participate in sports, move along and accept it. Not a big deal… pushing things on them is going to make them hate you. Just saying.

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I don’t know if putting your son in public school is the best way to fix the problem, I went to public school and my younger brother went to private…
the private schools still have better education available and smaller classes, with much more family involvement (they won’t spend the entire year getting you ready for a state test)
in public schools you deal with a lot more social issues among students…more fights, more bullying, bad influences, almost no family participation…if your child doesn’t do well in regular class they place you in classes with everything being easy multiple choice🤦🏻‍♀️
(so that no child is left behind :unamused:)
It’s a very different experience especially in the high school years, you would probably be better off keeping him at the same school and just having him try out other activities or clubs. Since playing sports don’t seem to be a real passion (with all the quitting you spoke about) maybe something in the arts, anything from photography to cooking, building sets for drama club…and maybe he would like to try something different but not necessarily at the school first, let’s not forget how scary trying something new is (without the added stress of being a teen in high school)

Maybe he just doesn’t want to play anymore, instead of calling him a quitter find something that inspires him.

Why would you punish him by pulling him from his school where his friends are because he doesn’t wanna do sports or clubs? I think the way you are feeling about it is selfish. You’re basically mad at him for not living the life you want him to live rather than letting him find his own way. By forcing sports on him all your gonna do is make him hate it.

Let him make own decisions i played because i wanted to not because i had to you do NOT want him resenting you for pushing him into something he does not want to do

I was forced to swim all the way thru my sophomore year in hs to include hs swimming and club practice so at least 2 times a day. On top of school. I hated it. I never wanted it i used to be in gymnastics but because my sister got hurt they stopped taking me and maybe thats why i hated swimming so much :woman_shrugging:t3: I would like to swim but cant find any motivation now to do so.

You want to punish your kid because he doesn’t want to do sports? Not sorry but thats shitty. You’re going to take him out of a school that most likely has a better chance of getting him in to a good college due to it being a private school where the GPA of the student is higher than one in a public school? Private schools are funded better than public ones so the education levels are usually better. I can’t imagine ever taking that advantage from my kid just because I was “angry” about them being tired of sports. Part of growing up is making choices. Maybe it’s time for you to let him make some on his own. When he gets out of high school are you going to make him put in applications to where you want him to work? Make him what you want him to be? Is he not allowed to have his own dreams?

Sounds like you put him in private school to give you braggging rights. You really don’t care about what he needs or likes. How disappointing you are as a mom. Find out what he likes to do. Could be he’s fed up with your demands and pushing. Get to know your child.

Honestly removing him from his school over him quitting soccer is just ridiculous. Down right silly. And kind of mean.

I was sent to a private school for the education, not for the extra curricular activities. I stopped & started stuff all the time. I did ballet, tap dancing, theatre, swimming, etc. I would encourage you to look deeply at your own heart. Are you simply projecting your idea of him onto him? Why can’t you find it in yourself to support him unconditionally & give him grace to make his own decisions? At 15, he’s learning his own autonomy & ability to navigate his life. If you take yourself out on him, it could potentially cause more issues within your relationship & his self esteem.

Sounds like he’s played enough and wants to focus on other things. Let him. He’s a person besides being your son.

So he doesn’t want to be in sports or cub scouts, big deal! Sounds like you are making this about you, and not what your son wants to do.

Its not for you to be upset about it tho. I don’t think he likes playing sports and was doing it to make you happy. He’s still figuring hisself out and what he likes and doesn’t like.

Ask him to choose something else, Perhaps a guitar or singing lessons or martial arts…

My daughter swam for about 7 years ,
She swam on a private team , then city league and went to high school and after two years she told us that she didn’t want to swim anymore for her high school team , she said it wasn’t fun anymore ,

It was hard for me because I wanted her to swim all her high school years but in the end I can imagine that she knows what she’s doing ,

She still swims for her private team and I’m glad because the courses she’s taking this year are harder and she needs the extra time for tutoring

Don’t force your kids to do sports , you had your chance at sports ,

So he isn’t living the life you want…who’s life is it? If he doesn’t enjoy some hobby, why should he continue it?

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This sounds like you’re going to punish him by sending him to public school! You never mentioned his grades or academic successes. Weird reaction to take about sports.

He put a few years into various sports ( several into soccer), why are you upset about it? He’s ready for a change, can’t you leave him alone? If you like soccer so much, maybe you should coach it.

My little brother played everything under the sun and now he’s doing hockey and went back to football. The rest of my siblings hate playing sports because my mom forced us to play them to the point of never returning to it. My little sister could’ve become a professional softball player, but my mom forced her to go to practices she didn’t need. Stop forcing your kid to do things and stop being mad they don’t want to play sports.

Why take him from a school because he doesn’t want to do extra curricular activities? You do know that public schools also offer extra curricular activities right? That’s not what you’re paying for… to punish him for that is kind of childish.

I agree with you Sarah Jane Rice. Some parent push there kids say keep out of trouble not the case I seen kids that play sports are out control.if my grandkids want to play that’s fine and if they don’t want too that’s fine also. I think pushing your kids in sports is wrong.

You sound like a Karen. Be happy your kid even played the sports you forced him in for as long as he did. And take him outta private school because he isn’t taking advantage of extra curricular activities. Smh. Just stop.

Perhaps you should ask HIM what he likes to do. Maybe he’s a scholar and not a sportsman. Let him grow into what he’ll become but don’t punish him for not wanting to play sports…remember THAT’S JUST A GAME.

I would make him say “I made a commitment to a person and team. I need to fulfill this commitment.”

So let him find another activity! Music, Dungeons and Dragons, chess club, academic interests, theater . . . .

He’s also 15 and in high school. A private high school nonetheless. Being a teenager is hard. Teen years are the time to figure out what he likes and his likes are going to change. In fact, they’re going to change multiple times throughout his life. If he goes to post-secondary, he may change his field of study a few times.
Sports are also meant to be fun. If he doesn’t want to play anymore, it might be because he’s not having fun.
Try to remember what it was like for you being in high school. You’ve got a lot of school work to do, and the work load isn’t getting any lighter.

Don’t make him do things he doesn’t enjoy. Tell him he has to have an extra-curricular activity of some sort, but he can have a big say in what it is. Maybe he wants to join a gym. Maybe he wants to take art lessons or join a theater company. Maybe he wants to dance or me do some kind of martial arts. Maybe he wants to learn golf or tennis or take flying lessons. Maybe he wants to learn to cook. There are tons of things left for him to do, now that he’s spent time trying to like what you wanted him to. This is his life & he’s old enough to help make decisions on the direction his life might take. Also, make certain you know why he wants to quit soccer after all this time. There’s some reason. I hope he’ll share it with you or his other parent or a mentor — whether your is mother or father. That will help in making the decision as to what direction he takes. A public school will be a real jolt to (& may not be the best environment for) someone of his age & grade. If you can’t get answers that will help you & your son make decisions, maybe you should take him to a counselor to help find out what’s really going on. The fact that you are angry, upset, and/or disappointed (let alone all 3!) is a good indication that the counselor may need to work with both of you (individually & together). If your son is not living up to your expectations & you’re expressing your emotions about all of this to him & threatening to change his school before his junior year because he’s ungrateful, you could be a big part of the problem. If that’s the case, you need to know it & get guidance on how to get in sync with him & know & show you love him. Good luck! It’s not too late!

Dude you sound like youre trying to force him to like stuff. If he doesnt want to play then dont force him, he can find something else he likes. Quit trying to be a dick and control your kids entire life before he runs from you

Oh my God woman/man get a bloody grip!!
Your son is old enough to make his own choices, let him be who he wants to be and let him find himself.

He’s making his own decisions about his life, like the soon to be adult he is. It’s not about what you want.

Exercising and working out are great. But competitive brutal sports are not. Just my opinion

Young adulthood is about trying things out and seeing what you like. I see no problem here. Your son seems adventurous and willing to try new things.

Maybe he just wants a break from all that. Let him be. Its him having to do all that. Hell I would need a break…

The most important thing is how is his grades ? Playing sports isn’t that important.

No kid should be in sports if they don’t want to be :man_shrugging:t4:

This sounds like a problem with your ego…

Let him pick things… he’s growing up

Reflect on the difference between support and control…

If you’re upset then go play you some soccer. Problem solved.

What if he doesn’t actually like it?

Why not have a conversation and ask him what HIS interests are and pursue them?

He clearly doesn’t want to keep playing sports. It’s pretty obvious. Just let it go.

Any educational goals?

sounds like this parent needs counseling to see why they are trying to live through their son’s life–very weird to be upset about this. Nothing wrong with him going to public school though taking him away from his friends will not be good for him.

Private school education is indeed a privilege but it’s gives him a life he would not otherwise have… Far more important than sports… Also there are hundreds of sports that he may enjoy and now have the aptitude for because of his athletic intelligence honed in basketball and soccer… Your belief in an investment to date in a private school education has nothing to do with his current sports inclinations.

Played various sports all the way up until ninth grade and then finally had the stones to tell my mom and dad that I’m not playing anything in highschool. I understand the benefits and lessons young people can learn through playing organized team sports, but after the shit show that was my 8th grade soccer season (went to small private school and we were like 2 guys short of a full team so we were at a disadvantage every game we played and played every game with no subs) I was just fed up with sports at that point. Just let him have at least one season off, because if you take him from his school and his friends over not playing sports he’s going to resent you for that forever, maybe see if he’d be interested in weight-lifting, that’s what I switched to after sports and it’s good exercise, lower risk, and less stressful than team sports.

Yeah im upset about him not playing soccer… maybe someone needs to motivate him a little more…

Well your dreams obviously arent his 💁

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This seems very self serving for you and not for him. If you want him to be resentful towards you then by all means forcefully shove soccer down his throat and threaten to take him out of a good school because you are not getting your way. He’s only 15. He’s still figuring out who he is and what he likes. Give him some space to discover this. And listen. Really listen. He may surprise you.


Childhood is about trying out different things until you find the one you are passionate about. Ripping him away from his friends just so you can feel good is NOT a solution. Unless you want to raise a teen who is angry, resentful, and puts forth less effort just to spite you. If that’s your goal? Carry on. Otherwise let your son find hobbies, sports, and/or clubs that HE enjoys.

Wow sounds like its about you maybe he’s not really interested in sports.

Shut up and let your kid be a dang kid. Just support and love them.

Rugby, football, swimming, weight lifting, track and field. There are so many other sports he could do. You get bored of soccer after so many years I played for 7 years.

Let your son make his own choices, otherwise how will he ever when he’s made a mistake?

My parents made me play sports when I was younger and i always hated it. I would always quit or when it came time for a game I would do everything I could to be benched. I only really enjoyed soccer, but even still after awhile I stopped wanting to play. Let you son have the freedom to choose, he could always come back to it.

Obviously your son is a stoner and you just don’t know it. He would rather hang out after school with his friends and get high then deal with all the jocks, coaches and rules. Face the facts lady your baby’s growing up and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Maybe hes just not into sport anymore ? Get over it

Sounds like you’re trying to make him do what you may have wanted at that age…blet him be him and enjoy school not hate it because he is forced to please YOU!!!

Why is it more important to you then him?

Sounds like you’re playing sports(esp. soccer)through your son’s involvement. Leave him to choose what to play, when to play it and when to stop. He’ll be a whole lot healthier and happier if you do. Try to understand this is about your son, not you.

Quit being a bitch and respect the kids decision. Pretty clear cut and dry.

Not your life, not your problem. Get over it.

Oh my god ew. Why would you be so upset about this?? Let your kid be themselves

Why on earth would you show such anger poverty not playing sports. Maybe you give him bread and let him rest or you may not have a son left to enjoy.

He is communicating clearly with you. It is you who was not clear with your terms/ hidden agenda of paying for private school attendance.

This doesn’t even make sense? You wanted him to stick to every club and team for life? He wouldn’t even have time for school. If he doesn’t like it he doesn’t like it. You sound insufferable.

I played soccer from age 5 to 13 and I only quit because my dad was so demanding. Sad because I actually liked the sport. I started playing again recreationally at 16 and played until 18. A ref during one of my games thought I was younger and told me if I joined the team in high school and trained hard I would get far. So maybe you’re just annoying your kid by being that crazy parent on the sideline, or maybe they don’t like the sport at all.


You are disappointed and angry at your child for not playing the sports that you want him to? Did you think for a second about what they want to do? Probs not.

Buzz off. Leave him be. It’s his life and energy. Not yours.

Hate to break this to you, mom , but this isn’t about you. He is 15 and he doesn’t need extra curricula activities forced on him. He’s just going to resent you

Your child is his own individual person. You can’t force him to be in school clubs or whatever that he obviously doesn’t want to be in. Why would you even try? Maybe he’s tired of playing sports and shit and just wants to be a teenager. Don’t force him into things. He’ll end up hating you later :woman_shrugging: Just leave him be. Don’t get pissed at him for not doing the sports and extra activities that YOU want. He is allowed to have an opinion and make certain choices for himself. Sports suck anyway :joy:

Im not a parent, but i remember very well when i was his age i got the same dillema (i played soccer/football from year 4), i was very good, but at this age i started loosing passion for it, i continued playing and i enjoy the game to this day, and am an active football coach. My point is that you should really talk to him, use your energy to get his trust to try to tell you why does he want to quit, also why is he playing currently (does he have a dream to become a proffessional player, maybe just enjoying the game, does he maybe play just because he likes his friends there etc etc)… Also try explaining him the benefits and possible negatives of playing (best if you got someone who is playing/played), and then let him decide for himself… As an active sportist i think it is very important that kids and young people are into some sport or sort of recreation, especially in todays times when we are going further and further from needed daily dose of moving. Good luck, hope i helped

Well you can’t never say he at least didn’t try though. But guess he jsut don’t care for them . Unfortunately some kids like myself just aren’t sure what it is they dare to be or do. Sometimes it takes a few paths and dead ends for a person to find the right one. Don’t let it frustrate you, but surely don’t give up .

Stop being a shitty parent, find what your child enjoys and invest in that

Your kid should focus on academic studies. Not whether they can kick a ball or dribble. Athletes do nothing but provide entertainment for simpletons.

Wow who’s life they living? Yours or theirs?

You better leave that boy in private school. Do not be that parent. You need to tell him he needs to pick a sport a club, volunteer w.e. he needs to be in something but don’t you take him out of that school

You’re being so weird lol

My son played baseball from ages 4 through his junior year in high school. Because of a huge personality conflict with the head coach, and he being uncoachable at the time, he turned his focus into becoming a firefighter. After graduating, he joined the Army, and did fulfill his goal of firefighter when he got out. He’s about 7 weeks away from becoming a paramedic. The one thing we did enforce was the finishing of the commitment, meaning no quiting mid season (unless there was abuse of some kind) because it’s not fair to the team to not show up. Sounds like soccer is more of your dream than his.


I would strongly recommend that you seek some professional counseling. It would appear you have some deep rooted issues and are projecting onto your son. After you get some help I’d suggest you sit down with him and get to know him and his interests, without making it about yourself and what you want. You’ll only cause more harm by pulling him from school at this point.

My brother now 26 played soccer from toddler age until he was about 13 because he liked it was super into it. After 13 he didn’t want to play and his mother basically forced the kid to play until he pulled himself out at 15. I remember those two school years and two summers where from hell. Yes you may be disappointed but if you force your kid to play a sport simply because you like it kids tend to grow resentment because they aren’t having fun anymore. And who knows he may pick something else up just not a sport.

Ma’am? What is wrong with you? You’re talking about him quitting after playing so many years? That’s not quitting! Quitting is giving up after a few games! I think you are being ridiculous and putting way too much on him. Let him focus on academics and have a great finish to his high school years. Support your child’s autonomy now before he decides to leave and never speak to you again.

Controlling a hole much? Keep that up and you’ll never hear from your kid again when he turns 18

Um, who sends their kid to private school for sports? That’s like the only thing public schools can actually manage

first world problems

At least you expose him to those things that let him decide his interests and he can decide which of those. Means that he is maybe good with academics but not sports. His brain work more than his body which is his nature.
Just let him expose to anything to discover himself.

So your reaction is misplaced. If you said this to your child you might consider apologizing. I can relate to your feelings, if my one son decided he didn’t want to play soccer anymore I’d be disappointed. I love watching him play, I really do. However he loves it too. If he suddenly didn’t, I’d try to figure out why before choosing our next step. Talk to him! Why? (As he ages does he feel like his talent is less than, bullied, tired) If not soccer, what? One of mine isn’t much into sports, but plays guitar. I love listening to him play.


Get over yourself, Karen. It’s his life to live, not yours. You sound like a child. Best thing you can do is accept his choice, but help guide him towards something he may find interest in.