What should I do about this child support situaiton?

My daughter’s father and I have been doing child support privately since she was 1, and she only ever paid $100 a month, he pays $150 a month now and only recently paid me back after being behind for five months. He sees her once a fortnight (his choice), and I have her the rest. This is fine cause she’s my daughter, and I love her more than life. Now fast forward to now I received my child support letter, and we have always somewhat averaged around what Centrelink adds up, granted he can afford that. I found out he was declaring it all wrong through and said he only received like 7k worth of payments, but he received over 20k. This was back in 2018-2019, and now Centrelink says he owes me over 1500. Should I go through Centrelink and get this money? Our daughter is in my care 98% of the time. I don’t mean to sound like I want that money, but heck, I do cause he has been ripping me off for years and lying! Opinions? Thank you. Please add** I also pay for All her clothes, daycare fees I have always dealt with for over four years; she recently needed surgery which I’m paying off, which was over 2k, all food, everything I have always done. Which I know is my job, and I’d do anything for my little girl, but he does the bare minimum and is still screwing me over in child support which he already was, but now it’s even more than I thought after all these years.

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You shouldn’t have even asked the answer is yet because he owe it to you that money can help pay your medical bill new clothes and food so yes don’t hesitate to get it

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Go after it… your daughter deserves it.

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That money is rightfully entitled to your daughter. He is lucky he only pays 100$ a month. Most men on child support dont understand that the little but of money the court orders is not even enough to cover part of sheltering expenses let alone anything else. If you feel like your being greedy just think about the last 5 months he didnt pay any if it was your landlord you owed for 5 months you’d be homeless right now. If he recieved 20k a small portion of that belongs to her anyway. Never feel like you have to consider his pockets when it comes to your child you did not conceive her on your own and half the responsibilities are his.

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Think of your daughter! Do it!

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You do you hun, if he owes it then take while you can!

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I would go after him for the back pay and put it all towards her medical costs.

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It really depends, one its a personal choice, yes he should be responsible but going after him also you then take the risk of him going for 50% custody to keep child support payments down.
I personally would go off if u needed the extra support or not.

u need to file hed be paying more then 100 a month

Send him a letter and give him a chance to pay with a deadline. Sounds like you probably need to go to a lawyer and have your support adjusted based off of his pay. Ensure you have the judge knows about child’s medical bills. .

You’re a big dummy if you don’t

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You go thru child support to collect the money not centrelink

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Go to child support court and file… It’s a free service in some states… Just finished with it myself

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Get your money girl!!!

If you don’t do it now, you may never be able to try and get it later. Even if you don’t need the money now, you may need it later. If nothing else open a savings account for her and put the payments into it. She will have a nice down payment for a home/car when she is an adult.

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Being he doesn’t help that much I would, even if you put it in a bank account for her when she is older :woman_shrugging:

Take the $$ it’s not yours, it is to care for the child. Also now that you got the letter you should be getting his tax refunds or at least up to the amount they show as arrearages!

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U should not have to ask. Let the judge tell him how much to pay

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Think of the (unintended) side effects the decision could cause. It sounds like he still has some relationship with the child, wouldn’t want to jeopardize their relationship over a few $$.
He definitely owes you, just make sure the juice is worth the squeeze.

The money is your daughters, go get it for her

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You had a verbal agreement. A person is only as good as their word

Well he’s screwing over his daughter not so much you! Support is for her. So, if you’ve been w/out the amount now then you’re ok. But you should get the extra funds for your daughter & have it put for her needs.

Girl I would get it and continue to take care of my child…

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If you have been accepting that amount for years it might not be so easy to get the court to make him pay it. If you already know he cant afford anymore then why try to make him pay more?.. That might make him change job to cash money and then what…there no poof of income then he can say i dont make but 100 a week and where that leave you…with nothing

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$100 a month… Ummm thats not enough… Get your money girl

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Take it to court. Let them set the amount and garnish his wages for it.

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Here in mass inmates pay $100 a month thats with no income… You need to file throughcourt

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I was told if you wait too long the judge may decide you don’t really need it. Protect yourself and your child financially!

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File through Court it is his responsibilty to pay for the childs up bring just as it is yours…

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When will women and men learn that is both parties responsibility to support the children… File with the state and then he will have to pay back childsupport also

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In oklahoma parents who owe child support with no job is 200. I would get the money…pay off that surgery etc

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Get what’s fair he has been cheating you all along

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I am so confused. You’re paying him child support and he’s paying you child support or am I misunderstanding this.

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I say leave it alone

Get it right tho it’s not your money its your childs money.

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I would ring child support for advice and help. I can’t do privately with my ex because he refuses to take any kind of responsibility. If he owes me, they chase him and any owing at tax time once he does his tax, it pays off the debt. (As long as he doesn’t owe other government services money)

NEVER do child support or custody on your own. It’s too easy to be manipulated & there’s no enforcement. Yes! Take him to court. Take in proof of him misrepresenting his income, medical bills you’ve paid & that are outstanding, child care expenses etc. Request that he pay at least 50% of her expenses along with back child support & higher support going forward.

Your child deserves and is entitled to child support

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I get that a week PLUS a portion of daycare expenses AND medical expenses!! If you live in NY go get what you are owed!!!

I’d say yes, but then I’d look at my own situation and say take a step back and consider all the angles. If him possibly fighting for more time and maybe not being civil with you is a possibility, I’d say no. It’s not worth it. All the money in the world can’t buy peace.

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Absolutely. It can help pay off the debt from her surgery, which he should have paid 50% of anyway!

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I would get the money and buy stuff she needs or put it in her account to go towards starting school. Also pay off the surgery.

Without more details, I’d discuss him paying you the $1500 out of court and forgiving it on paper. You said he was months behind and paid you back so who’s to say he won’t pay the $1500? I know it’s a huge risk when child support is handled outside of court but if y’all can maintain this, I’d suggest doing so however since there seems to have been a breech of trust between y’all, I’d consider setting it up through the courts and let them handle it in the future.

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Talk to him about it and if the private agreement isn’t working and your wanting more go thru child support instead…

Make him pay for his daughter… u have every right to what u are owed… only a scummy human being would screw their own child out of the support they deserved

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if he is working you will receive the amount owing when he does his taxes. that is what happens with my sons father anyway

It’s also his job to provide for his daughter. I nit picked everything that was written in my custody order. I get child support, and included what I pay for insurance and meds. His obligation is half. Additionally, it states he’s legally obligated to pay for half of the medical bills. He would also be obligated to pay for half of day care. Everything else like clothes and food is technically what child support is for.

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U deserve your child support to take care of your daughter he needs to help you take care of her it’s his place to do it as well , don’t let him take advantage of u

Leave it be. Once you get the state involved you can’t change or fix it.

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A child’s relationship with their father is important, if it was me I wouldn’t only because I wouldn’t want to jeopardise the relationship my child is having with his/her father, if I needed more money I would just talk to him first and say hey are you able to help out a bit more with bubs daycare fees (or something like that for the child) I need a hand. Also maybe talk to him first he might not have meant to stuff up his income estimate, and slapping him with such a big amount at once with no discussion can cause some bad effects and is very stressful not many people have that type of money laying around. You sound like you are doing a wonderful job just my opinion but I honestly think you should talk to him first :purple_heart:

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Go to child support through the state. My ex and I tried to do it on our own and I had to ask him for money for my sons diapers just to get an attitude from him about the money so i went through the state and things are so much better.

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Try to stay out of court because he can get more rights than you want.

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Take it from someone who has been through this. Men do not want to pay child support and will do whatever it takes to not pay. I don’t think you will get any where talking to him. Good luck!

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No no no. I would leave as is. Especially if you aren’t hurting for money
Document every thing. EVERYTHING.
Keep a daily log, what you do everyday with her. When he calls, visits etc.
Keep it in your back pocket in case you end up in court some day.

If you like having her as often as you do, I’d bite your tongue. If you try to fight him he may fight for more time and start a snowball effect of stress and drama. And the court will give him more time unless there’s a safety worry

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Best to not do it privately… you are setting yourself up for loss

So you were ok with it… then relise you could have been getting more and now your pissed ? … if you wanted the correct amount you should have gone through the system from the start. You can’t be pissy about something you must have agreed on to start with. Sounds like it’s not about the child but about the money. Take a good hard look at yourself

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Take him to court :slight_smile: get that money

Take him for every last cent. She’s his God damn kid too. What a chump :rage:

Ur baby girl is not just your responsibility she is also his to. So I would tell him he needs to give u what ur baby girl deserves.

My thought process is you didn’t make her by yourself, so why should you pay for her by yourself!

He sounds like such a pos smh I’m so sorry you’re going through this but sweetie he decided to cum inside you he knew what he was doing when he got you pregnant now he needs to pay for that blessing in your life!!! He should not be paying so damn little if hes making so much and you are on your own paying everything taking care of her 24/7 and on top of that she had surgery and daycare which is expensive asf in itself. Oh hell no get that money for your daughter she deserves it and she didnt ask for a shitty father coming into this world not saying anything bad about you cuz honey I praise you for doing it all on your own cuz it can be very difficult and overwhelming with little to no help. He made his bed now he needs to lay in it. Get that money for your baby girl and do not let him mess with your head and try to guilt trip you in any way at all. Your baby comes first his baby should come first but it seriously sounds like he doesnt even give a crap about her which upsets me so much cuz I know how that can be. You get that money for your baby girl she deserves the best. Like I said she didn’t ask for such a shitty father she don’t deserve to suffer cuz of his selfishness. Get that money honey and I wish you the best.