Question for single mamas who share custody. What do you find to be the best custody agreement for the children?
Depends what type of father he is going to want to be? My kids grandparents have half custody of there grandchildren and do weekly. I have my kids full time won’t let there dad have custody or partial custody due to current circumstances in his life just makes things complicated for me being able to care for them with daycare, medical expenses, and my household.
Full time and a visit fortnightly on a Sunday for 2 hours.
We split 50/50, I have them Thursday - Saturday and every other sunday. Their dad gets them Monday - Wednesday/every other sunday. I want to change to every other week, the back and forth every few days is really rough.
We do 2/2/3 for our two year old. If I have Monday-Tuesday he has Wednesday Thursday I have Friday Saturday Sunday then he gets Monday-Tuesday, I get Wednesday Thursday he has Friday Saturday Sunday.
It works out well for us because we both get every other full weekend with him. But we also live close by and I work from home so we have some flexibility.
I do 2/2/5 and summers week on week off
Week on week off is the absolute best. Equal time (as long as distance isn’t an issue). We equally split a d rotate the holidays (ex odd years Dad gets kid from time school let’s out until 12pm Christmas day, mom would get 12pm Christmas day until school is back in session and vice versa for even years)
I have my 2 oldest full time, there is no other parent involvement at all. My 2 youngest is supposed to be every weekend and split holiday breaks and every other week in summer but dad isn’t capable of that so they only go every other weekend now. I guess it’s just what fits each parent’s schedule and if they are capable of the visits financially.
I have my son Sunday evening to Thursday evening or every other Wednesday. Dad gets him Wed/Thursday after work/daycare until Sunday afternoon.
we have joint with me being primary parent. he lives 2 hours away so we just do every other weekend usually
Originally our agreement was i have him all week and he goes to his dad for the weekend (makes it easier for school and such) and we switch off every other major holiday… reality is a bit different though.
Week on, week off is what we do
50/50 Week on Week off if both parents are responsible.
Monday to Monday week on week off
My ex and I have a 50/50 agreement. When
We split our oldest was 16 and youngest 4. He moved out but stayed in the same
School district to make things easiest on the kids and so he can have them 50/50. They stay at mine Mon, Tues and his Wed Thurs, then back at mine for the weekend Fri/Sat/Sun then opposite days the following week. My youngest is now 12 and the schedule has been pretty perfect for everyone!
5-5-2-2 works best for us
Our agreement says I am the custodial parent and the father is supposed to get our son Sunday-Tuesdays (after school). However, since he changed jobs and now works 1st shift, we have agreed to every other weekend.
Depends on how close you live to the other parent, really. Are you in the same school district (if kiddo is school aged)? It makes a difference. I have primary physical and sole legal of my 13 year old, he goes to dads every other weekend during the school (and we follow state guidelines for holidays), during summer we do a week with me, week with dad. It works for us because we don’t live in the same area and dad can’t get him to/from school easily. (Ours was also a weird situation to begin with, dad was nonexistent for 8.5 years, so there was no way I was comfortable with a 50/50 split)
I have full custody but we have to agree on out of town stuff and both be on school papers
I think every situation is different but If the dad/mom has been a supportive loving parent until now than 50/50 custody makes sense if there is concern about the other parents abilities commitment or safety than definitely speak with a lawyer to help decide what’s best for the kids I have a child with a high-school bf who just wasnt ready to be a father and I raised her on my own still no contact 16 years later my second child I share with my husband who is an amazing doting father and if in the case of a separation without question we would share 50/50 with both girls
Everyone will be different. We put in place we couldnt live more then 30-40 mins from each other since im primary & my son goes to school in my area. So for us, he leaves for his dads sunday afternoons after hockey & then wed at 8am is my time again. We do this every week. Then holidays we just split so each family sees him & at xmas just alternate years of who has xmas eve-tell noon xmas day & vise versa. Then we each get him on our bday & mothers/fathers day & now that he has siblings at each house we try to have him at that persons house for the kids bday but all depends on whats happening etc. then we each get 2 1/2 weeks vacation each year with him, but we just have to give alot of heads up & plan it all out.
Mine was 1 week rotatation. while it’s good for equal shared time for the parents and would be great for those that can effectively co-parent I found that it extra hard on the kids if you can’t co-parent. Knowing now what I do I would have fought harder for a more permanent custody with visitations. More often than not my kids would need things that was at the other home and Dad wouldn’t allow them to get. He would also purposely keep the name brand clothing I purchased and send them with used, to small, worn out thrift store items knowing I’d get rid of them and replace
It depends on your situation. I have sole physical and legal custody, he has supervised calls and visitations. He’s never used his visitations and stopped trying to set up calls over two years ago we had the option to go back to court after two years so he could try to get unsupervised time but we never went and he honestly can’t prove himself safe around our son since he never sees him. My understanding is he has a daughter from a failed marriage he has sole custody of, I hope he’s a better parent to her than he ever was to our son
Everyone’s situation is different so don’t base your decision off someone else’s experience. Do what’s best for your kids. I don’t have any legal agreement with my BD but as is, I let him take them when he feels like it. (Which often leaves me with 95% of the responsibility.) But I’d rather that instead of making my kids be somewhere where they’re made to feel unwelcome. And by a parent of all people.
We were originally one week on and one week off, but when school started he now gets her every weekend unless I have a social event going on with family or a birthday party or something, and then we alternate holidays.
Joint custody. I have the kids Sunday 5p to Friday 8a(all school aged) and the last weekend of every month. He gets the kids most weekends and for holidays and if I am working and dont have care, then he has them.
If the other parent is responsible and isn’t on drugs or doesn’t break the law. Why not share 50/50?
I dont share custody but i have a 11,10,09 year old every weekend they get visitation .example this weekend is only one of my kids turn to go to dads for the weekend then flollowing weekend he will have all of them then the next weekend he will take one of my other sons then the following will be shared .
Holidays i try and do shared between both houses for the holiday . I allow my boys to voice what they want and what they dont …
I have full custody everythibg to my desgression this is after lots of hard work and years of him not beong around cause he was sick and abusove .
Also he has family support.
We’re 50/50. He lives in corvallis Montana and I live in Silverton Idaho. Its about 3.5 hours away. We do month on month off. It sucks but that’s what we officially agreed on. I would’ve loved week on week off. We meet in st regis Montana to do drop offs and pick ups which was halfway when I was living in post falls. I have to go over the pass everytime to get into Montana so we kept it at st regis.
If the child is not in danger, should be 50/50
i have primary physical & sole legal of the 4 i share with my ex-husband. he gets one weekend a month (he’s in TN & i’m in FL). he also can have them 6 weeks during the summer and during extended school breaks (like spring break, fall break, thanksgiving). his one weekend a month i either have to meet him in Atlanta or he has to come or Orlando.
i have sole physical & legal of my oldest two by my babydaddy. he would only get visitation to my discretion pending results of drug screening & the visits have to be at a visitation center where they are monitored & recorded for court purposes. he failed his drug tests twice so his visits were cancelled .
what’s best for mine may not be best for yours. IMO, every other week i think is good if you’re in the same school district. if not, wherever they go to school should be the primary home. especially during the school week and the other parent gets weekend, school breaks and things like that. that 2/5/2 or whatever is HORRIBLE. it makes it super hard to plan.
The best schedule is one in which the child(ren) spends maximum amount of time with each parent with minimal transition.
One week on, one week off.
Alternatively, whatever works best for both parents that allows them each to work without needing too much alternative care.
50/50 if we were close but we live states away, so any long weekends, or breaks and all summer and we also both agreed they get 2 weeks for christmas.
The one you can both agree on!
Baby daddy gets his 7yr old Friday evening then returns him Sunday. I was meeting half way for pick up/drop off but recently stopped. I broke my ankle and am in the process of getting on the transplant list. Baby daddy is mad bc I stopped helping with transportation he fails to understand that it’s not my responsibility and my health is not very good right now. So as to when he will continue visits who knows
Dad lives 3.5 hours away. But we make sure the kids talk to him everyday. Everyday before school & at least once sometime after school. Whenever he comes into town he sees them & whenever I go there he keeps them. Nothing set, but it works perfectly for us & we don’t miss out on anything as we put the children before us.