Moms of preteens.We need to start giving our 11yo chores. This year is the year of change and I’m beyond fed up with her spoiled/entitled behavior. We’ve tried chores in the past and just got so much push back we just gave up and now it’s time. I’m tired of being a slave to everyone. It’s everyone else’s time to start helping out.What are your kids responsibilities around the house. What chores do they typically have.
At 11 she should have been doing chores a long time ago. My two boys are now 41 and 45 and I started them on chores when they were about 3 years old.
The fact that you have tried and let her get away with pushing back is not going to be easy but with persistence you can get through it. Remember you are her parent, not her friend. It is easier to give in than to stick to your guns but you have to do it to get what you want.
Chores should be looked at as things done because they need to be done and chores that are extras. The extra ones get pay’, the others get privileges . Think of it as preparing her for the future.
At 11 she should be able to clean her room by picking up toys, etc. and putting them away, dusting, and vacuuming. She should be able to set the table for meals, clean the table after eating, putting her dishes in the dishwasher and helping with the cooking. Straightening up the living area, putting things away, dusting and vacuuming could also be done. Helping with laundry by bring dirty clothes to the laundry room, folding towels, washcloths, her clothes and putting them away.
Start small like just her room if she does that without trouble let her know that you will do something with her that she likes. Compliment her on a job well done. Remember the old adage, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. She needs to learn that her help makes time for fun things. Next you want to add letting her help in the kitchen as this will seem more like fun than work. She can get out the ingredients for what you are making. Let her measure the ingredients and make it a learning time as well. Always complimenting and thanking her for her help.
If she balks and she probably will calmly tell her that if she doesn’t help then she loses 30 minutes of tv or game time. Don’t back down no matter how much she balks. Just restate the consequences and leave the room. When she learns that she can’t push your buttons she will go along with the plan.
At her age my oldest knew how to start the washing machine. He could cook small things even use the oven. My youngest could do the same at that age and both were good at yard work. By the time they graduated high school they cooked, cleaned, ironed, did their laundry and learned to sew. My youngest even made spare money in college by sewing buttons, repairing tears and hemming pants for other students that had no clue.
There is hope, just hang in there.
Well I started with baby wipe when they were toddlers so how to start at 11 I have no experience with . I will say I would at this stage start with team work , turn on music and have cleaning time where you and her and anyone else who lives in home cleans together , as you teach her how things should be done and look when clean . Then next time try devide and conquer you do one part while she does another then you ck her job and she cks your job to see if you both get point or whatever the reward is .
One thing my kids also liked is for me to read outloud while they did cleaning.
One thing that’s the most important say what you mean and mean what you say . If you give a consequence stick it . 5 min time out that you stick to is better then 20 min time out that you gave in and didn’t stick to .
I would try the team work to start .
she is old enough to do her own clothes if she refuses to do things like dishes or take out the trash, then she can do her own clothes and don’t give in. A week of no clean clothes or she does them herself may get the point across. Remember you are the parent she is the child don’t give in to her push back
8&10 year old boys
Sort their own clothes, load washer & dryer. Put clothes in hangers & put away in closet. Take out the trash & help dad with yardwork.
Sometimes it is easier than others. When there’s nagging I remind them they still need to do it & by nagging they’re wasting their own freetime.
So my 3 year old will try and do everything I do. He helps sweep, mop, helps his dad take out the trash. He makes his bed. Feeds the dog. But like I said he is 3. So we started early.
At 8…my daughter sat down n asked her son what chores could he handle…N he has been doing them ever since n he is now 11…n his 5 year old brother is right there with him…They go over n beyond.
Pretty much anything and everything.
My kids have been doing chores since like 5. They help with dishes, laundry, and straightening up the house. They are also responsible for their room. They are 8&6
My son just turned 11. For the past year he cleans his room, does his own laundry, sweeps/ mops/vacuums.
At 11 she is old enough to learn how to do everything. So start with a. New task a week until she is comfortable doing it. This includes outside chores like mowing the lawn or shovelling the snow.
Once she is comfortable doing them on her own, assign her the chore and the completion expectation. For example. Your laundry and the dishwasher have to be done by 6 pm. This also teaches them time management.
Eventually you can move to your daily expectations.
For example. Every Tuesday is take the garbage out day, every Saturday is laundry day, bathroom is wiped done daily before dinner…etc.
My 10YOs do the dishes, fold laundry, clean bathrooms, put clean sheets on their beds (even the top bunk), tidy up, help with dinner. They can do all the things, and it gives them a feeling of self-worth.
Fold their own laundry clean their bathroom and clean up the yard and clean their rooms
A 11 year old is able and old enough to do everything. So which ever you choose.
Their room for one, dishes, sweeping the floors taking out the trash. Emptying the dish washer. Picking up dog poop if you have a dog. So many things they can do.
I have a 12 year old his choirs that I switch around depending on what I need help with is unload and load dishwasher ,trash , vacuuming, sweeping, laundry help cook he’s been really interested in cooking lately he loves my cooking and wants to be able to make food like me recently he learned how to make different types of eggs so lately he’s been making eggs for me and the kids in the morning on his own
Make own bed and clean you room. Pick up around the house too keep it neat… Take out trash. Feed the cat an dog if you have them. Clean yard when spring time comes
Clean up after themselves - so make bed, clean room, vaccuum, load and unload dishwasher, do own laundry (working on this with my 7yo), switch laundry depending what it is, dust, clean windows.
Some of these we do together because it’s extra and do as a family.
Cat box and scoop dog poop is extra and he earns money for it.
My 11 year old cleans chicken coop, feeds pets, vacuums living areas, unloads dishes, takes out trash
Unloading the dishwasher, taking out trash, collect the small bins, fold towels, sweep, vacuum
Why wait until 11 for chores?!?! I started my kids at 1 with picking up their toys (of course with help) and moved up as they grew older) by 11 they were capable of cleaning the whole house, do laundry and cook meals!
In our home we have daily chores and start them as soon as they are old enough to understand.
The Youngs ones (2 & 4) are to pick up any messes they make, 9, 10 and 15 help feed our outside animals of the morning before school, then have after dinner chores (a room a day) then Saturdays is laundry day for them, they wash/dry their own, fold and put up!