Not a mom question but a parenting/advice question. I am a student, and I also work full time and have a part-time job. I live with my family until I am done with school. I am 26 and pay rent. I have an issue with my father (not his house, he moved in when he had medical issues), leaving my six-year-old sister here at the house alone after asking me to babysit (I said no), or leaving her here with me without even saying anything. I obviously can’t leave for work or school when this happens. What do I do? I’ve considered contacting CPS, but I don’t want to do that to family. We do not have a good relationship to start with, and he did not raise me growing up. HELP. He does not work, and these trips are not quick and simple outings. Often he is gone for hours at a time until 1’o clock in the morning (casino, hunting, fishing). He does not do this when no one is home, but I am fed up.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What can I do about my father leaving my sister alone? - Mamas Uncut
Where your parents at?by not your job
You lost me …where is your mom in all of this ?? He moved in because of health issues but he can casino hunt and fish till one in the morning . Has no respect for you having 2 jobs and school and a life to start and you owe him what ??? So this is not your problem and make it clear to your mom that you pay rent and are trying to start your own life not be forced by a dad who’s done nothing for me but now dumps his child on you sister or not . I would call CPS if your mom does not fix the problem . Nobody with real health issues has time for casino fishing and hunting so he is full of BS and is a DB.
Where is your mom? And it sounds like you need to move out. And technically CPS wouldn’t do anything because there was a responsible adult home. So your sister wasn’t left home alone.
Say you are not her parent and if he doesn’t come back you will call the police for abandonment. Usually threats work. And if he doesn’t get better, you may have to call CPS.
Personally I’d address the issue with your father or whatever other adults are responsible for the child.
If nothing is done after speaking to them. I’d call CPS to explain the situation then let them sort it out.
Not your child, not your problem
Where is her mum .and U r big sister wouldn’t hurt if U r not working surely .but he also has to have responsibility n surely if he can go out till that time his medical musnt b that bad .mayb he needs to move out
(((HUGS))) & Prayers… Hope u pray 1st before u make ur decision becuz ur family is gonna be effective by ur choice…
Get a babysitter and make him pay for it. Like what a shit Dad. I’m assuming if you went to work she would be by herself. Threaten CPS and see if things change first.
1 where is the mom. 2 depends on the state there is no law of how old the child has to be to be left home alone unfortunately. If mom is not around maybe get guardianship of her and kick your dad out. Take care of her until he gets help. You are 26, your not a child you could help.
Call CPS it’s abandonment and neglect.
Clearly she doesn’t want y’all to know where the mother is …Geeesh
Geez everyone sayin call cps yea let’s put another kid into the system sickening. Sisters are supposed to stick together
That’s abandonment. If you come home and she’s aline ,call police. Even if your there. Dad abandoned her. I’m not sure how many hrs constitute abandonment where you are. Look into it. I know a man whose wife asked him to go stay with a friend when her family visits. They had only 3 bedrooms. Small. It was a small country town and no hotels. So he did. He came by next day and her father refused to allow him in. This happened 2 days. On the 3rd day he received papers of abandonment of his family. He had 2 small children. And had begged to see them every day when he got off work.
He was a police officer.
She took him to court and got full custody as well as alimony. It was a nightmare for him. That was Louisiana. Check or call a lawyer to discuss the laws there. Consults are usually free.
Is there an aunt or someone else who can help? Even a neighbor that your father could pay? Good for you to be a student and working. It will pay off. I promise!
You call CPS… no question about it. Your dad is putting this child in danger. How are you going to feel when something bad happens and you could’ve helped prevent it by calling services to protect them but you didn’t bc “family”. If you know he’s left her there call it in every single time.
Move or have him move.
Next time she is left alone or with you without asking call the police. Press abandonment charges against him. Hopefully her mother will step up & get rid of him. They need to hire a babysitter. Your sister is not your responsibility.
I’d give this a read… Can You Get Arrested for Leaving Your Child Home Alone? | LegalMatch
Honestly, if you don’t want involve cps, you’re going to have to step in as her parent. Line up sitters or daycare for her when you have to go to school or work. He’s not going to step up. And she is the one going to suffer in the long run. Do what’s right for her. What your parents didn’t do for you. Reach out to people you trust, friends. See if you can work out a schedule to accommodate yours. Otherwise she will forever feel like a burden to everyone her whole life. I know its a lot of responsibility that you didn’t ask for, but this time in her life will literally shape who she will become. You got this. You are stronger than you know
Tell your dad your sister isn’t your responsibility and that you have your own personal life to deal with and do t have time to take care of her
Or maybe just move out that would solve the problem
Don’t call cps, you don’t want that BS in your sister’s life. Just put your foot down and be hateful with him. Make sure he gets your point. Don’t let him use you like that. Stand your ground and be loud about it
don’t call cps please you don’t want your sister to go throught that believe me. Help watch her as much as you can after all she’s your sister, although not your responsibility but still … in most households all help each other
Choices, hey? In the end, these years go by & she will know who was there for her & who was not. These decisions are never easy so I wish you the very best.
We have different moms. My mother and her mother are not in the picture. They moved in with myself and my grandmother (mom’s side) when he had psychiatric issues. My grandmother does help watch her a lot but she has her own life also. I wouldn’t mind watching her if I had the time but I work from 6am-5pm Monday through Friday, school from 5:30pm-9:30pm Monday-Friday. And I have a second job for weekend mornings. My “father” is more of a sperm donor. He left me to another state when I was 12 and I was raised by my mom’s mom. If he didn’t have her, he would not have been able to live with us.
I wouldn’t mind watching her if I had the time or he asked me ahead of time but it is always last minute. Our moms aren’t in the picture. I work a full time job, a part time job, and I go to school in person during the week. I barely get sleep and have been put on probation at school because I’ve missed so much when he’s left her with me. My arms are up in the air at this point.
The issue with that is he doesn’t welcome anyone else “parenting” his child. He shows no discipline, schedule, or routine with her. She’s constantly in trouble at school and I’ve missed so much school at this point that I’m in danger of being terminated from my program. I would not mind watching her weekend evenings but he’ll legitimately leave her in the house on a weekday. He used to ask if I could watch her but when I started saying no he started getting angry and leaving without notifying me.
If he leaves home without asking you to sit or after you’ve said no then id say legally he was leaving her alone and she’s not your responsibility. Dont think there’s an age limit on leaving a child alone but there is child endangerment.
You dont say where mom is or whose house it is but technically if you’re paying rent you’re a lodger . Make sure he is aware of your timetable for work /school and your sister will be alone at these times if he leaves . Then take advice…either school or citizens advice will have someone you can talk to about this before you go to cps or the police.
You could put charges on him for abandonment, get custody of your sister, there are services that can help with childcare.
Do not call cps!!!
Where’s the mother at??
Why did you allow him there at all? Call child services next time he does it
It says she lives with family and dad moved in. Where’s the rest of the family? Why is someone so irresponsible left in charge of little sister to being with?
Make an arrangement with him. If you have to continue taking care of your sister as if she were your own child then you shouldn’t have to pay rent.
I’d find a roommate and move out. If you already pay rent, why not pay rent somewhere else?
If you call CPS then your sister could be put in foster care. I’m kind of confused by your living situation. I don’t know if your dad lives with you or if you live with other family. I’m just wondering is the child in school? Where is her mother? If he’s incapable of taking care of her then somebody is going to have to step up and do it. I’m not saying it has to be you but it’s obviously not him. Is someone in your family willing to take care of her? If not, then this sounds like a serious problem.
It sounds like your dad’s better. Time for him to move out. And if you don’t trust him to take care of her then it’s up to you. You’ll figure it out.
Go for custody. It’s child endangerment . However you need to sit your father down and tell him he can’t be doing that. Where is your mom is she still around?
I would say move out … there problems are your parents problems not yours and don’t make them yours
If you call CPS, I promise you that they will be involved and more so, their going to question you about “how long its been going on, how often does it happen” and will ask you if you’re so concerned why didn’t you call before. Your mad at your dad because he didn’t raise you and you have a bad relationship. If you call CPS, you will ruin your sisters life - YOU! Not your dad. Are you ready to possibly have your sister removed from the home, brought with strangers and told “well, this is your family now” You could be putting her is a more horrible situation. Stop being sooky and step up and do what you need to do for your family. She’s 6 years old, I feel bad that nobody in your family gives two shits about this little girl. You make it seem like she’s a burden to you all.
Setup permanent day care, if you get stuck paying then claim her.
Simple. I would find a babysitter close by. Each time he leaves I’d call the babysitter. When he comes home, let him pay her.
Where is the mother?
Don’t call CPS please unless absolutely necessary, her situation could turn much worse very quickly. I see many people didn’t pay complete attention to what she said as she said he doesn’t leave the sister when no one is home, she isn’t being left home alone. I’m sorry he is putting you in this situation, it’s unfair and selfish. You didn’t mention where your mom is or if there is another responsible adult in the home you can speak to. You definitely need to sit down and try to have a talk with him, he’s acting like an irresponsible child and it’s not fair to you.
well if it’s not his house, who else lives there??? And why aren’t they involved? Where is her mother?
While there is no law about what age to be left alone is… but technically he is “abandoning her.” When he just leaves her with you. Contacting cps over this will only cause things to worsen. She will likely go into the system if you or another family member don’t take responsibility for her. Your best bet would to be civilly figure this out unfortunately.
Tell him about it and let him know (threat) you’re going to call them bc you didn’t agree to babysit! Why lose your jobs or get poor grades because of his irresponsible behavior?!
Where is the "family"that you live with? You pay rent so its your house too…where is the mother of this child? There is sooooo much missing information.
Put her in daycare. Use the money you pay for rent to pay for it and tell your dad that your rent $ is going to that. Don’t call CPS that will just destroy your sister. I took my little sister in when my parents couldn’t handle her anymore. I never regretted it. It was a struggle and I was a single mom already but I made it work. Now she is married and has 5 daughters and has a good job. I am glad I didn’t give up on her.
Personally, I’d snap and tell him you’re done so he has two options… one is he steps up and acts like a father and correctly. OR, I’d tell him you’re reporting him to child services & taking custody yourself. Child services would be willing to let you take custody and help you with the situation. At least in that case you could get paid to help take care of her and help with daycare and things so you can finish school and continue to work. I’m sorry he has put you in this position at all cause it’s not right. If you don’t mind me asking, is mom not around at all to help or tell what’s going on? I’m assuming not but was just curious.
Sounds very selfish, putting his own needs before his daughter, shame on him
When he’s getting ready to leave walk out first and tell him you have plans.
Why is the 6yo not in school there is so much missing here
What do you mean you live w your dad but it’s not his house he moved in later on? Who else is at the house? Can they not take your sister? Obvi it’s no fun & idk what your part time job is but there’s been multiple times I’ve had to bring my 5.5 year old to work w me. If you can’t miss work & you can’t get your dad to come home & get your sister I don’t see any other option. It’s not fair but nothing you can really do about it except move out….
Who all lives in the house and where is her mother at? Who’s house is it?
This breaks my heart that poor little 6 year old not having anyone to take care of her.
I’d be addressing this with whoever is in charge of your sister and also finding someone say a friend who is willing to help you out when that happens. Or I would start calling on just him and make it a point that he himself is leaving this child alone. But certainly need to find a reliable caregiver that isn’t him
Calling CPS will do nothing but waste valuable resources and hurt your sister. She can wind up in foster care. You guys are adults and her family, please act like adults and work out some sort of schedule between the two of you. She doesn’t deserve foster care.
Okay so I have had problems with my adult son being addicted my hubby who’s his enabler who now has cancer. You should be sisters caretaker as bio is a jerk! Other descriptions not helpful. He’s an adult she is NOT! Best interests of child must prioritize. He needs to go CPS must be involved if he probably has kidney problems from addictions not your problems-she needs to have that house in her and your name. Is there a ACLU where you live you need legal advice! Tell them Jackie Mains sent you please pm I wish you lived in Indiana I’d helped you as much as I could I used to be a caseworker-now at days kids run to my house
You HAVE told your mom??? Second, BILL HIM for babysitting. If he can afford the casino he can afford $20 per hour for babysitting. It won’t help missing classes, etc. But may teach him a lesson ??? Or plan B… you hire a reliable baby sitter and still make him pay.
tell him you will call CPS… he failed you and he will fail that little girl…
Honestly. Tell him since it’s not his house, he can leave if he doesn’t take care of his own responsibility. HIS daughter isn’t YOUR daughter. He can’t leave a 6 year old alone for hours. But he knows that you will cancel your plans and put your life on hold if he leaves her and you’re there. Before he walks out and leave her with you, tell him he can take her or he can stay home. Bc you have school and two jobs, you pay to live there, he doesn’t pay you to babysit and disrupt your life.
The danger of your sister is primary. You can do this unanimously. Think of something if eally happened
I think you need to look into baby sitter. Is there a relative or neighbor you can trust.
Where is the childs mother and her family?
Record record record. Record yourself missing work or school. Record it. Because I know you don’t wanna hurt him or her but you’ll be just as guilty if something happens. Record record record. Then file for emergency custody and tell him he needs to find a new home. If he’s not working I can’t think of any reason why he would even think it was okay to leave her
Praying God will wake him up .
Maybe try finding a baby sitter for her I would default not cal cos in my own dad yes I understand leaving her alone but not when he leaves hear thear with you cause your responsible