I need advice or help or anything. I'm struggling so hard right now. My feeling are like they are on a rollercoaster right now and I have no way to stop them. I am so angry all the time and when I get even the slightest bit happy my thoughts overcome me and then I get sad and then angry a d I just take it out on my husband and I can't do it anymore. I told my husband to leave because that's the only thing I can do that won't hurt him anymore because every other day I feel like I go after him for nothing and everything all at the same time. I'm loosing myself literally just being around him because I can't get the thoughts that tell me to hate him to go away and I'm scared that if I don't end it with him I'll ruin his life. I'm cutting everyday and all I want to do as soon as I'm done is cut some more. I have an appointment tomorrow at the hospital to get on a prescription but I'm scared that it won't help I'm scared it won't get better. I messaged my boss and quit my job tonight because being there just makes me hate my life more because I want to be home with my boys and husband but want to fly to Africa and never see them again. Being around my kids is so hard because I don't have it in me anymore to love them like I need too even though I know I can and I am just not doing anything that needs done anymore to keep my house clean and them taken care of. I'm falling and I'm falling so fast that I can't catch myself anymore. I've threatened to take my boys from their father but I feel like I'm the one who really needs to go away so they can all be happy but the thought of no longer having him and my boys there everyday makes me crazy. I can't figure out why my emotions are like this and why my feelings are like this anymore when things are finally going good again. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Baby blues they can happen whenever they want. Make you want to run. Make you want to try. Make you feel like dying. Make you insane.
But that’s not who you really are. You are a strong and beautiful mom that is missing something inside. Speritual? Maybe. Love? Always. A friend? Your husband. He married you bc he loves you no matter what and is your best friend. I can’t tell you how many times I told my so to piss off. I feel so ashamed bc I went thru alot that you just wrote recently. He stood by my side tho. I found that getting a job and hobby/ getting me out of the house, gave me something that I needed. Went from an accountant, off 2 years for new baby to a housekeeper. But it made me happy. Helping others every chance I can also makes things seem better. Just take a step back and breathe. You human. Your a woman. And your a MOM! Those three alone are alot! It’s ok to feel this way. Just recognize it and try to make things better. If that don’t work, try it again. And again. And again. Yeah it goes on and on but eventually it gets better and we get better. God bless
Anxiety? I have anxiety and experience a lot of what you described!
Don’t just get a prescription. Talk to your husband and sign yourself into the hospital. You need to do this for yourself and your family. You said you are cutting and engaging in destructive behaviors (hurting husband and quitting job) as well as describing some serious symptoms of depression. You need more than a prescription can offer at the moment. You need cognitive and behavioral therapy. You need to be in a safe environment and quickly. Medication can only correct the chemicals, they are only the first step to correcting your thoughts.
You deserve to be happy and free from this pain. Your children deserve a mother who can show all the love she feels. Your husband deserves the woman he created your family with.
It’s like you wrote this about me. I had severe anti and post partum. Also developed anxiety around 18 months ago (near Christmas). First get a pregnancy test done. Your hormones could be out of whack. If the first medication for depression/anxiety doesn’t work with in a month, try another brand.
Mamas Uncut This post needs to be checked and given a trigger warning!
Your going three some depression the meds will help
Get your hormone levels checked and get a referral to a psychiatrist and get counseling. Your brain isn’t working right. It may take a while for the meds to kick in (like a month), but it DOES get better. So sorry you’re going through this, but there is help & hope out there!
You will be ok. Tell the doctor all of the truth and medication will help (sometimes it take a couple tries of different ones to get the right fit). In a few weeks you will feel so much better. Hold on!!
Hunny go to the hospital and sign yourself in you need to go take care of you sounds like bi polar go get some help please no need to be ashamed
Sounds like a case of depression and anxiety. I would tell doctor everything you just typed. Especially get you some counseling and or in the hospital for some test to be ran on exactly what is going on with you. As well as the cutting. Praying for your safety as well as your kids and your marriage.