We were told our unborn baby has a life threatening birth defect: What would you do?

I’ve never posted a question before, but I’m at a major crossroads. I’m 19 weeks pregnant with a boy. We just found out he has a birth defect that isn’t very common. The doctors keep telling us they don’t really know anything about it and won’t even know how bad or the affects on the baby’s life would be. We are torn on whether we want to put the baby through surgery after surgery or terminate the pregnancy. The defect is a hole in the abdomen where his intestines are growing outside of his body. And all the doctors can say is it could be fine, or it could be life long disabilities for the baby. We don’t know what to do. Would you hope for a good outcome and follow through with the pregnancy or terminate?

235 Likes

There’s a lot of babies born with this. They put them in a bag and slowly go back into the abdomen. I personally have a high school friend who’s little boy is so cute and amazing and lives life to the fullest and he has it. I wouldn’t terminate at all.

10 Likes

So I’m just going to say that my cousin’s child who is now 8 have the same problem and she is perfectly healthy Granite she cannot play Rough Sports probably but she is a happy healthy seven-year-old there’s a huge possibility of that if you are not 100% confident that you want to terminate this pregnancy don’t do it

2 Likes

Mindy Nichole McElroy

It’s your baby boy. Pray and love him. No matter what.

4 Likes

Rayah Goodwin can you help her?

Would not terminate. I would have the baby. It can ha e a great lofe.

2 Likes

I knew a baby born with this. She is a happy and healthy 6 year old. Just had surgerys when she was infant.

4 Likes

Look up mightymarc on fb

I would continue the pregnancy

2 Likes

Ask yourself if you can live yhe rest of your life wondering what if? Personally i would not terminate.

11 Likes

Mumma they always tell you the worst. There’s a lot of babies born like that and have healthy lives. You do what’s best for you all. Can they do in utero surgery? Ask for your options.

5 Likes

Seek a second opinion.

13 Likes

I think this is a highly personal decision and no one can tell you what the best choice is except for you and yours. Im not sure what I would do personally but I feel that nobody should pressure you to lean one way or the other. Weigh out your pros and cons and make a decision you are sure you won’t regret.

23 Likes

Continue… dont wonder what if you had … you can do it mama

3 Likes

This is absolutely not something you should post to get other people’s opinions on, honestly. This is so personal and should be kept that way.

12 Likes

I’m so sorry you are facing this. You know your situation best and will make the best decision for your family. Perhaps researching the condition yourself will help you know what to do.

1 Like

Go with your gut ultimately. I don’t know if I could but can you? It’s your baby and your body and your future it’s your decision to make. I wish you the best of luck with whatever path you choose. Stay strong momma

1 Like

I know someone that had this and he was only in nicu for a month and is healthy and happy. I wouldn’t terminate baby.

6 Likes

I would not terminate.

8 Likes

This happened to my little brother and he’s now 12 and has zero health problems and hasn’t since a very young age.

3 Likes

Uhm no I would not terminate. You don’t even have a definite answer so idk why this would even be a thought. Or why you’d debate it if it was a bad result.

7 Likes

Research look for doctors that deal with those issues. Put it Gods hands!

3 Likes

What would you do if he was already born? That is the answer.

10 Likes

Ppl can give their advice all they want but no one is in that position but you and your husband. God bless.

1 Like

I know 2 people born with their in sides out. They both are healthy adults.

3 Likes

I’m with the person that said to get a second opinion. Also, remember allllll the stories of people being told the worst only to have a perfectly healthy baby in the end. And so what if it’s a couple of surgeries? He gets to live a life!! He deserves the chance to show you, the drs and the world how strong and resilient he can be- give him that chance.

13 Likes

Never terminate a pregnancy God has this

9 Likes

I would … make my own decision with my partner, my doctor, trusted friends/family if I wanted to involve them, and no one else. Definitely not by asking judgy total strangers on the internet who don’t have to live with my decision.

13 Likes

My cousins daughter was born with this defect and she is a beautiful happy 15 year old thriving girl. She had to have surgery after birth and could not have dairy products until she was older.

1 Like

My oldest niece was born with her intestines out of a whole where her belly button was supposed to be… I was about 16 when she was born and didn’t ask my sister about it much, they put them back in place and stitched her up and she’s a healthy thriving teenager now

3 Likes

I would see a specialist that specifically deals with this type of defect in unborn babies and I would make sure my child is delivered in a hospital that can actually care for him.

3 Likes

My daughter was born with this,it’s called gastroschisis you can inbox me if you have questions. She’s 13 now she lost almost all of her small intestine.

2 Likes

Don’t let these people pressure you into making the “right” decision. Any choice YOU make is the right one. I hope whatever you decide, you get through it and I hope your able to keep your head up through this difficult time.

6 Likes

Seek more medical opinions, not from FB.

3 Likes

My friends have had babies where there was a chance of defect or even worse and they turned out fine.

1 Like

This was on sons of anarchy, his son had that. And they did surgery on it given it was a show but when you think about it it’s completely up to you. It would be the hardest decision you’ve had to make. Think about the quality of life your child may or may not have. There’s a good chance by all the other comments that this will be something that’s completely viable and they will live a happy life but then there’s the chance your child might be the unlucky one. Good luck and sending love your way

My daughter has gastroschisis also please follow Avery Angels

2 Likes

I know a boy who was born with this. Had surgeries as a baby and lives a completely normal life

6 Likes

That’s a hard one but your gut feeling on things like this is usually right so listen to that maybe ask for a second opinion before making your decision and definitely do some research on your own get as much information as possible before making this decision sending good vibes your way babies are tougher then we believe so you never know what will happen if you follow through with the pregnancy beat of luck momma

My doctor pushed me to terminate

2 Likes

You said “doctors don’t know anything about this…” Get a second opinion, from a doctor who does know. Hugs. :heart:

42 Likes

My daughters friend is pregnant and her baby is the same way they told her the baby will need surgery after birth and should be fine

3 Likes

I’m sorry you are going through this! That is for sure a very hard decision to try to make and there is a lot to decide on.
Personally I would maybe look for a specialist online and try to get a phone call in with them to ask some questions. I understand where you are coming from though with worry of suffering through surgeries because something like that will come with a lot. The chances are either one way or another and from what I have ever heard from any type of defect of that sort is a toss up of good or bad.
Praying you find some answers :heart:

Happened to a friend of mine and her child is now 8yrs old with no issues. She did have surgery after being born and it’s been all up hill since.

3 Likes

The doctor’s told my friend her baby had several birth defects but she was born 100% healthy. Honestly I would pray and definitely start drinking Goji juice. It’s 100% natural but works to what your body needs. It will also build yours and the babies immune systems up. I used it to correct my sons ADHD and other health issues. Either way God blessed you with this baby and you will love him the same either way! Every baby is a blessing!!

6 Likes

i knew a boy who was born with his insides outside his body while his childhood wasnt the easiest he grew up to be a healthy young man living a full life…if the doctors dont even know its a threat why risk aborting your baby I couldnt just follow your gut mommas know best

3 Likes

My friend Daniel was born that way… one surgery and a solid scar on his belly… thats it.

2 Likes

Doctors told my daughter my oldest granddaughter was going to be mentally challenged. She was not and is a bright young adult now! God is and always had been in control!! Follow your hearts and faith!

3 Likes

Pray and keep the baby! It isn’t going to be easy, but with God all things are possible!

2 Likes

In my opinion, just because a child has a defect no matter the circumstances you should never terminate a pregnancy because of it . That is you’re blood you’re baby , as a mom you hold baby close and care for baby and give baby the best life possible . Terminating you’re pregnancy because of a birth defect isn’t fair to you’re un born child because to me if feels you just wanna give up because baby isn’t “perfect”

19 Likes

If you wouldn’t have killed him had he been born and you saw this disability, you shouldn’t kill him now. Disabled people are valuable. Disabled people have worth. They are not disposable. They are not expendable. Disabled people deserve to live just as much as non-disabled people do.

20 Likes

Hi! I was tagged in this. I was told my daughter also had a life threatening birth defect. To make a very long story short, we asked for a referral to about a state over and drove there for a second opinion. Although they didn’t fully agree with our first opinion it was apparent something was wrong. We had genetic testing and were told our daughter had a chromosome abnormality never before seen. They couldn’t guarantee it would really mean anything but in their opinion it could mean birth defects, deformities, medical issues or they said maybe she just wouldn’t even survive long after birth. We were pressured to get an abortion. We decided we were seeing it out until the end. Our daughter was born 6 pounds 1.5 oz minor health issues. While yes she has had a lot of surgeries you would never know it just meeting her. All of her health complications can either fix themselves or be surgically fixed and she has no noticeable deformities (her feet do go a little inward but braces will take care of that before she’s even old enough to remember) I’d make that decision a thousand times over. She is a happy healthy thriving beautiful baby who so far has met all milestones and shown no signs of delays. But really even if she had a delay would it even matter? Would it change who she is? No. I wouldn’t trade this life with her for anything.

11 Likes

This isn’t a question you should be asking the public my dear.
Unfortunately I had a friend who’s baby had this and she was born 2 months early and spent her life in the hospital until she died and a year and half old.
She looked soo uncomfortable and in soo much pain but could never speak with all the tubes (and of course she was just a baby)
You definitely need to think of Quality of life. :100:
BUT with that being said, me personally, I would get a second opinion on just how bad it is and go from there. And if I were in your shoes, it would kill me to know I had ended a pregnancy knowing that my child had a fighting chance.
You boy could come out with yes some health problems but then in a few years be a happy and healthy child.
But this isn’t what WE think is best for your child, this is what YOU think is best. Hang in there mama. :two_hearts:

4 Likes

I would put this is the Lords hands and pray and if the lord wants him home he will take him so l would have the baby and go all the way through the pregnancy good luck momma

4 Likes

I know someone who’s child was born with this. I would definitely get another opinion because he has a beautiful healthy baby boy :blue_heart:

1 Like

I can’t even begin to Imagine what ur going through u and your partner have to have a sit down and speak about what’s best for all of you xx

My cousin was born with this he had surgery right after birth to put his intestines back inside his stomach. And now my cousin is a healthy 22 year old man

3 Likes

My best friends brother was born with this defect, he’s now a perfectly healthy 16 year old

I would take the risk of putting the baby through surgery. They could be wrong. Doctors are not always right. Keep faith. I would not terminate.

I had a friend in high school that ended up with that when he was born. He is normal and lives a normal life. He had a job, a wife, and kids.

take a deep breath. just think on it for a while. talk to a professional and your OB numerous times before deciding anything.

100% honesty, do you have the money to care for this kiddo for life? Surgery is expensive, specialized medical care is expensive, NICU, possible lifelong support, all that jazz. Be honest about your financial situation. Think about the level of care you’re able and willing to provide to that child. No matter what you do, it has to be about what’s best for your family, no guilt or opinions from anyone else.

2 Likes

Please do not terminate. You will regret it for the rest of your life. You will always think “what if he was born healthy” and you’ll never know if you kill your baby. I’m sorry but 19 weeks along is just too far along to terminate. At that point it’s not terminating, it’s killing.

Drs told my cousin her baby boy was going to have Down syndrome and wanted her to terminate her pregnancy. He was born completely healthy without any issues!!

2 Likes

My brother was born the same way, he spent his 1st month of life in the hospital. He went home and the only problem he has from it now is a scar.

2 Likes

I know someone that was pregnant and her first ultrasound showed the intestines on the outside. By the time she had her second ultrasound the issue had corrected itself. Prayers your way.

I knew someone born like this …hes 35 now.

2 Likes

Unless they were adamant that i would also die during labor, i wouldnt terminate - this is nit as rare as they make it seem, and i know a few babies whi have gone through the surgery and are thriving now!

2 Likes

Get a second opinion with more experienced doctors

3 Likes

This is yours if you even have to think about it your not meant to be MOM… just saying…

8 Likes

All these comments sound promising i mean the ones about others being healthy today. Id say your son should be just fine . you got plenty of time to plan ahead. God bless you. Prayers . And it is 100 percent your decision

Our son was induced and stillborn in October due to a 100 terminal defect with his brain. This decision is so difficult, there isnt a right or wrong black and white answer. It all sucks. I know a girl from school who’s daughter was born with this condition, the daughter is nearing 10 and they still visit hospital after hospital, out of state, child on dialysis… that said I know that momma would not change having that sweet girl for a thing in the world. No matter who you ask and what advice you seek… only you can make this decision. Your child and your body.

5 Likes

If his brain is formed normal, anything else can most likely be fixed/treated.

1 Like

Babies like this can still live. There are surgeries to out the intestines back in their bodies. I follow a mama on IG who’s baby is going through this.

The nicu I used to work at they would put an iv bag with the intestines in it and it slowly goes back up into the correct placement and they sew it up. (Gastrohesis)

Twila Gomez plz give this person insight on this they could really use it

1 Like

I know someone who had a baby with this birth defect. He had surgery, grew up perfectly normal, and will be 13 soon!

Dr is sometimes wrong-he could be born normal-Would do everything I could t be normal-never get rid of your children-it follows you to the grave

Once you become a mom, you can NEVER EVER up on your child.

This decision is up to you and your family. Prayers to you all. Bless your heart.

They ALWAYS tell you the worst so you’re prepared just incase it does happen and even if it does you’ll love that little boy no matter what and he’ll be happy. Dont throw his life away just because he may be a little different than others. Do you realize how many children there are with disabilities that live happy full lives? Why throw his life away when he hasnt even been able to live it himself? Hes GROWING inside of YOU.

If you go to term and it is life threatening there is a possibility of doing organ donation. It sounds like you need more information in order to make a decision, search for a specialist on birth defects.

1 Like

A friend of mine had a daughter with this.She had 2 surgery’s by the time she was a year old. She is now a healthy 5 yr old that is hard to keep up with.It’s not as uncommon as your Dr.s said it was.

That I believe is called .Gastroschisis… It can be repaired with surgery…

1 Like

My cousin had twins, boy and girl. The little girl was born with her intestines on the outside of her body. She is now an awesome strong little girl with no issues at all.

1 Like

God chose you for this little baby because you (and him) are strong enough to get through this. Don’t let your baby go :heart:

2 Likes

Get a second opinion. Research the birth defect. Read and learn about it and such. Do what YOU feel is best.

Is it Gastroschesis?

4 Likes

Pray and pray and pray. It can be fixed.

Personally,I would keep the baby and prepare myself for a long road ahead.i just couldnt terminate. That baby deserves a chance to. A friend of mine just had a baby with this problem. They did the surgery about a month after he was born and he was home within a week! He is now 3 months old and doing amazing!

I had a cousin who was born this way 30 years ago. He lived a healthy life after surgery.

That is more common than you think. I’d find a doctor that’s not an idiot.

3 Likes

Get a 2nd opinion but I wouldn’t terminate the pregnancy,God has his reasonings in doing the things he does & we aren’t to question him about the “what ifs”,gods got u just pray on it

My neice’s son was born with this condition. They successfully put his intestines back in his little belly and he’s a thriving 7 yr old big brother now. Get a 2nd opinion and do your research and ask 100s and 1000s of questions!!!

My cousin was born with this in 87… She is doing amazing now! Extremely smart and successful

A friends friend had this with their baby and shes a healthy toddler now.

I have a friend whose baby girl had the same defect she is now 3 years old healthy and happy, the first couple of months will be hard for you and the baby :blue_heart:

Sorry you’re going through this,you and your family are the only one that can make this decision!

I would not terminate my pregnancy because of that. Honestly I don’t even know that you could legally do that at this point. But if it were me and my child I would not even consider abortion.

I would for sure get some more testing done before you make a final decision. While I personally would not terminate I would never judge anyone who chose to do so because of a terminal diagnosis . I had a son with Trisomy 13 I chose to go to term and deliver and he only loved 19 minutes. I wouldn’t change anything about my choices. But I could totally understand choosing not to have a baby be in pain and discomfort. Hugs and prayers for you on this journey.

We know someone whose baby was born with the same thing. They did surgery immediately to correct it. She is now 13 and thriving