The guy I have been seeing says he needs time before he makes it official...advice?

HELP!! I know what I should do but just need other opinions as well. Been seeing a guy almost 6 months now. Took a vacation together, random trips together, do things as what a “couple” would do. When relationship gets brought up, to make it official just “us”. He says he needs time, but then says he’s “close” to making me his gf. I mean I already know what that makes. He did admit to me, he went on another date with another girl. But then she seen pics of us on FB, and she deleted him because she didn’t want to be apart of anything. I seen the messages because he showed me. He did tell me, so I take it as he was honest enough to tell me. So any advice is welcome.

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You said you already know, so I’m just going to say it…dude doesn’t want to be in a relationship. He’s still playing the field and looking for something he wants more, before “settling” for you. He’s just keeping you on the hook while he does it. If both of you wanted to keep it casual that would be fine…but you want more.
We accept the love we think we deserve…and I’m telling you, you deserve more. Find someone who wants the same things as you, including your levels of commitment.

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Move on immediately and find someone who appreciates you and is sure about you! It will feel so much better I promise you.

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It sounds like you want confirmation for what you already know in your heart.

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6 months!! :scream: He sounds like he’s just playing you and keeping his options open- you want someone who’s gonna see you and KNOW that you’re the one for him- who makes you feel like you’re the most amazing person…anything less means you’re settling for someone not worth your time… I think you know what you gotta do x

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He wasn’t telling you to be honest, he told you because he got caught by the other woman. Bet she threatened to tell you, so he bit the bullet and tried to tell you first, to get those “honesty” points, so he can keep stringing you along. Actions speak louder than words. Forget what he’s SAYING and look at what he’s DOING. There’s your answer. :v:

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When you first started seeing him what was the agreement? We’re you both looking for something serious?

Run. I was in a situationship similar to this for 6 years and he kept moving those goalposts, I eventually left because it had become a dv situation and his child witnessed it.

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Move on. You deserve better.

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He wants his cake and eat it too

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He doesn’t want u known because he doesn’t want all the stuff he’s been doing to come to light. He’s been seeing other people and he doesn’t want a relationship. Move on

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There’s an old saying that goes like this why buy the cow if you get the milk for free. I might be just a little old school. Being I’m 84 but!!

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Would he have stopped seeing her if she hadn’t found out about you? That seems pretty telling to me. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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The bro is keeping his options open I suggest you do the same. Who knows you might find someone better and ready.

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Sadly it sounds like he’s searching for someone else but he doesn’t want to lose you. You deserve better. Dont play second fiddle in someone’s heart.

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He’s waiting for something better to come along. He is playing you

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Guys are not some complex characters. If a guy wants to be with with you…he’ll be with you. And the right one will never make you question his loyalty.

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He’s using you!!! Get out now before you really get hurt!!

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Good gravy - :wave:t3:
Clearly he doesn’t want to date you because he wants to date other people… which he’s done already :woman_facepalming:t4:

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Sounds like he’s too immature for a relationship. Put a deadline on it and move on if he doesn’t meet it. Why waste your time

Bet rid of him. He will never have those kind of feeling

God sake girl open ur eyes and get out!! He’s literally using u, seeing other people, doesn’t matter if he’s showed you, he clearly thinks it’s ok as long as he tells you, know your worth, the other girl did, find someone who’s not going to waste your time!!

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He’s being more than honest, sweetie. He’s still looking and you’re waiting for your turn. Let him go or go out on dates too.

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Well he ain’t hiding nothing from you. This is his preference at the moment. You either respect it and accept it or move on. But don’t let yourself get strung along knowing he is keeping his options open…

Place holder until Ms. Right comes along

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Really 6 months isn’t long. My wife and I dated 4 years before we were married. Been together 44 years.

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Run! He is only with you until he finds a girl he wants a relationship with. After 6 months he knows if he wants just you. If you want a relationship find a man who wants one.

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Don’t walk away… Run he is gonna keep stringing you along that Needing time is an excuse if a man wants to be with you he knows it early on. He’s not ready after half a year ? So many red flags

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You’re in a ship. It’s just a situationship instead of a relationship.

You’re giving him everything he wants while he still gets to be with other women, so why would he need to make it “official”?

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He’s not ready to b serious I would b gone

I’m sorry but that man clearly isn’t interested in dating you if he’s waited 6 months and he’s going out with other woman. If he wanted you then he would have made you his girl already and wouldn’t give other girls the time of day. I’d say save yourself the heart break and move on now. He’s showing you all the signs.

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My advice… go on a date with someone else.

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He’s shopping! Which means you should be shopping!! Start spending less and less time with him so you have more time to shop. You need to be waaaaay less available.

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Get out! You are worth so much more!!!

He’s stringing you along with the soon and you’ll hope it’s actually coming. He doesn’t actually want to be with just you bc if he did then he’d be done going out with others.

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You know the answer…red flag…respect yourself more dear

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Date around like he is lol

I started reading this and thought, she wants to get engaged after only six months!? She needs to chill. Then I realized, he’s trying to say you’re not DATING. He has been clear he isn’t interested in having a girlfriend. So find someone who is. If he was ready for a girlfriend and really liked you, he’d have no trouble going all in.

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Hes being honest.
And you can honestly run away.
A man like that will always be like that… waiting for something “better” and an official title won’t change that.
Bye Felicia :wave:

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Get out of that… You’re investing your heart already & he’s just wasting your time.

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You dont need other opinions. He’s keeping you as an easy lay while he finds the one he wants to commit to. Run :running_woman: :running_woman:

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Why give you the tittle when he has relationship benefits without it? I’m just saying!!

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I’m thinking dad’s uncut would be a totally different thing.

Girl move on… that’s what they say when they don’t want to be in a relationship.

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He’s not ready, because he still wants to sleep around. Sounds like you two are on different levels, as far as a relationship goes. I’d get out asap, or you’re the one that will be heartbroken in the end.

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Stop investing your heart into a “what if” situation. The person who really wants you will never make you question anything. Please walk away. The more time invested, the more pain involved. You are the only one who can look out for you!

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Well it’s only been 6 months . I think give it more time for sure before y’all get official. Nothing wrong with him wanting longer than 6 months to make that choice

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He is not interested in a commitment. He likes to have other woman and one that is waiting for him . Why are you doing this to yourself

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I’m sorry…but run & run fast. Change the locks on your house, also

Move on. If he’s not sure after 6 months and still seeing other people, why bother?

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Understand that you are not a priority. It’s up to you to decide if you want to live that way. I recommend you don’t.

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Dump him he’s only using you until something better comes along

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Nope. Run. I did this for two years with a guy. It just got more and more insulting as time went on.

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You’re basically treating this guy like a husband and he isn’t even your man smh. You’re a very naive woman. You shouldn’t of ever went on trips vacation etc without being an official girlfriend but I guess he got his cake and ate it too all for free

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RUN like Forrest Gump! He went on a date with another girl! If she didn’t end it, you’d be taking a back seat! He doesn’t want to make it official because he’s still looking. Stop letting him treat you like an option instead of a priority!

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Why buy a cow if you can get the milk free, just an old country boy philosophy

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You’re wasting your time. Move on.

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You’re a placeholder. It’s time to move on

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Girl get tf out! What are y’all, teenagers?

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On the hook boo.
Seems like he’s waiting to see if something else comes up….

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He says "He’s close to making you his gf? " :woman_facepalming:

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Dump his ass. He is treating you like a placeholder, babe. I promise there are way better men out there!

You think he’s being honest by telling you AFTER the date? If he was honest, he’d tell you before the date. She probably told him that she’s going to reach out to you.

End it.

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I’m trying so hard not to laugh at this because it’s also sad when people allow themselves to be played with like this

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Seriously leave now. I am 11 years into a relationship not married and it started just like this

I was in something like this for 8 months… and I’ll never get that time back… run while you can

If after 6 months, a vacation and overnight trips he’s not ready to be “exclusive” and you are what does that say? if you leave the car lot on a test drive you can go around the block, or you can even get on the freeway, but you’ve went on a roadtrip and the car aint even for sale

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Just leave. Major red flag.
Unsure is not a quality you want in someone.

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But when did he tell you about this date…? Did he tell you before he went on it or weeks after, bc if it was after then he wasn’t being “honest”, he was just telling you before the other girl did.

Who’s paying for all these adventures, if your not his girlfriend, he obviously takes that as he can date…SO CAN YOU,!!! DUMP HIM!!! DONT GET PREGNANT TO KEEP HIM!!! HES NOT WORTH KEEPING!!!

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He just wants the milk for free. Drop the dude.

You are just abit of meat to him if you ain’t in a relationship after 6 months then you never will,I reckon he’s married or just wants alot of women

6 months to decide a lifetime. MMM what’s the rush it’s either there or it’s not. Move on.

Dump the dog he’s playing with your mind. Not good at all. Move on and be Happy

Is he married? And leaving his wife?

Don’t be gullible honey. Throw that man in the trash :wastebasket:

is this even a real question ? open your damn eyes and smell the coffee