Spouse works third shift

Does anyone’s spouse work 3rd shift? Mine has always worked 2nd, and then he took a better paying job on 3rd shift working 12 hours at night. He has been on this shift for 2.5 years and has worked 2nd for the last 10 years before this job. I am burned out and having a baby while my husband was on 3rd shift was a true test of our marriage. No taking turns at night with the baby, just me by myself and then during the day is when he needs to sleep so no help during the day. I am also working full time and it feels like I am a single parent when he is at work. When he is home he does alot to help because the huge burden I have majority of the time, but the problem is that’s only a little bit of time during the week. Are there any support groups for spouses of 3rd shift workers? We decided we are going to try to tough it out Because of the money and I need to find ways to cope with the stresses of owning my own business-working all of the time, plus having my now 2 year old with me alone every night and no help during the days he’s off because he worked the entire night before. How did you cope? Are there any other moms who can relate? I also want to add that my husband doesn’t like working 3rd shift, he is enduring until he can move to 1st shift with his company, which could be years from now.


My husband works third Shift but he snores so dang loud a I prefer it.he even works weeknights me weekend days we just make the time it’s not tons of time but my husband likes third shift because it’s more pay for one and it quiet and he likes the quiet

Following going thru this

My daughter is 18 months old and we just skipped to this shift he works 11pm-7am and then we switch off and I work 8am-4pm sometimes he will take her to my mom or MIL they watch her and he naps I come home at 430 the 3 of us play and then I cook dinner eat bedtime routine then they’re both asleep by 8 the latest and I have some me time. It’s what works for us

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I really feel for you, I’m sure he’s really tired too. Personally I know it’s really hard to sleep during the day when your spouse and kids are at home, working nights is not fun. The only advice I have is just try to see the level of exhaustion from each other‘s standpoint. And if you can, get a babysitter from time to time.

My ex worked shifts. Had 3 kids dealing with that crap. I felt like afternoon shift was the worst. (2p-2a) they worked over lapping shifts. We had no life for the time he worked that. Being at home all night with kids up all hours then left to fend myself when he went back to work was hard. Hang in there your not alone and you will find a rhythm.

I worked 3rd shift and my husband worked mornings, I would come home and mom all day, nap with my little for a couple hours and do it again :woman_shrugging:

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my husband worked 2 jobs when i was pregnant with our first son then he switched to nights when he went full time at the hospital. it’s not easy, i work full time too but you can do it!

Yes. Since we’ve been married. Raising our daughter is 100% me. Nights, days, school drop offs and pick ups. Doctor appointments. School appointments.
When my daughter was a infant we spent so much time at target and the zoo because she would cry and wake him up, and he would get so mad. So it was rough. It’s still rough. My PPD was so bad, it never went away, it’s now just deep depression. Everyday is a challenge. I feel like a single married mom, if that makes sense.

My husband worked third shift for as long as I knew him till recently. Now he work during day on weekends. It was hard because 2 of my pregnancies were pretty much me alone. Not to mention being up at night by myself and spending all day taking care of 3 kids by myself. It’s possible to do. It just takes patience and the napping when they nap or winding down while baby nap. Make yourself a schedule it’ll help keep you and baby sane. If you need someone to talk to, always welcomed to message me

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He sleeps in the living room when he has worked all night and I just help my kids quietly through out the day :slight_smile: I also work and I am exhausted but I’ve learned to just do it , don’t think about how miserable you feel just do it. :slight_smile: thank god he got a different schedule , good luck to you sending positive vibes mama

Mine deployed to Iraq several times🤷🏻‍♀️

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My husband worked 3rd shift till our 1st son was 10 months old, we had just found out we were prego with #2 who was just born 2 weeks ago…it was rough but we managed

Is your two year old not sleeping through the night?

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I worked 3rd shift at Amazon while my husband worked during the day as a machinist
Our toddler was on a very unconventional sleep schedule so when I got home from work I would get the older kids off to school then would be able to nap 2-3 hours until the little one woke up, stay up and mom the rest of the day until my husband got off work, nap another 2-3 hours and then head to work
My husband would work all day, come home, take care of the kids and house while I got my pre-work nap in, and then handle the nighttime routines

My fiance has always worked this shift and we have a 2 and and 8 year old I do everything cook clean take the kids too and from school and I work I have ever absolutely no problem with it. He pays the bills and I take care of the kids and we spend weekends together as a family. You just have to deal with it and make it work

My boyfriend travels for work , traveled my whole pregnancy and has been gone during the week for 10 of the almost 12 months we’ve had our boy so it’s just me and him all week and when he does work in state he works 12-16 hour days so it’s just me and the boy again. It’s definitely not an easy task but I’ve never felt like a “single mom” It’s all about the support he gives when he’s here and even when he isn’t.

My husband has worked 3rd shift since we got together. Yes it can be trying for a relationship, especially with a baby involved. We just had our second child 4 weeks ago, and my second csection. It’s difficult and you will feel like a single parent. I tend to wake my husband up like 3-4 hours before he leaves for work so he can help with the kids while I get cleaning and dinner done. I’m also breastfeeding our youngest so it’s a lot more difficult as he can’t help with our youngest.
You will get depressed, you will get frustrated. I have figured out that keeping my oldest busy during the day (movies, naps, playing at the park, playing inside) will help tire him out for bedtime. Get a hobby, binge watch some shows.
Our oldest has a tv in his room so he mostly plays in there as he is very independent.

My husband has worked 3rd shift almost all or our entire relationship/marriage. I am currently pregnant with kid number 3. I have come up with creative ways to entertain the kids. We find free activities outside of the home to do a couple days a week. We spend a lot of time outside when the weather permits. My own dad works nights for 13 years of my childhood before switching to days. It’s definitely not easy to do but can be done. I schedule appointments for the afternoon time as much as possible so he can go with me to help me. The weekend is family time after he sleeps some on Friday. And sometimes we just have to tell people no we can’t do something. If I’m absolutely losing my marbles and need a break I’ll ask my mom when she can take the kids for a night for me. The last time she had the kids I slept like 13 hours straight. Lol

All I can say is, as hard as it may be on you, it’s terrible on them. They hate not being able to be as involved with their kids upbringing, schooling, activities etc. They hate feeling like they never really get to be with you for some alone too. They hate a lot about it. But they do it because they love us and want to provide in the best way possible. I know all this from my husband; he’s been a 3rd shifter since before we met. He was also a single Dad working full time on 3rd with his boys with him 85% of the time. All I can promise is that it gets easier when the kids are older. Sorry there isn’t much more I can say. I just remind myself of all the things my husband has said about working 3rd. You’ll get through this! :purple_heart:

I was 59 year old Gramma raising my Grandson Alone from the day he got out of the hospital and ran my own cleaning business working 5 days a week!! U can do it! Good Luck

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My hubby works night shift in a coal mines & I HATE it! It can be hard sometimes but I deal with it bc his job allows me to be a stay at home mom with our 2 boys (8yrs & 18months). I have a pretty good routine with the boys so that has helped A LOT but I will say I thought I was gonna lose my mind when our youngest was born. Having pretty much no help with a newborn day or night is hell :upside_down_face: try to find a routine that works for YOU and your kids, not your hubbys schedule! Good luck!

Working overight is not for everyone and is hard on a family. My husband works nights and i personally wouldnt have it any other way. He worked day shift and he was a grump. Would snap on anyone and anything because he was tired and he doesnt sleep great at night anyway. So the night shift works for us. Its hard sometimes with our daughter in school and one on the way and i do it all minus the yard work. Or when we have family events and he has to work the night before its just blah. Its hard but it all works out.

mine did it for the last 5 yrs because we had 3 back to back to back and he needed to help. he finally switches to 1st in the next 3 weeks or so since our youngest are now 3, 4, and 5.

A support group would be awesome. My husband has been working midnights since 2012. We have a 6 year old. I worked many years afternoon shift and then switched to split day shift 11a-7pm and love it! I completely understand how you feel. My husband has actually picked up a side job so he works like 60 hours a week. He can somehow manage with crappy sleep whereas I can’t. I just got used to being alone and then we take advantage of family days. Summer is always rough bc our daughter gets more bored now. We did a summer day camp last year but I want to find something where she can learn more.

Could’ve written this myself! It is rough. We’re trying to hang in there until a day position becomes available. I don’t really have any advice because I’m in the same boat. I love my husband to pieces even more than I did before after seeing what he puts his body through to provide for my daughter and I! Hang in there momma!

Yes 3rd shift is a test for sure. Thank Goodness my Mother comes to help 3 months out of the year. :heart:

I’m a single mother of three who works third shift. Believe me …it harder on the person who’s actually working the shift. I’m lucky if I sleep 3 hours a day and even if I’m lucky enough on a weekend to sleep more I’m still tired. Honestly tho…unless you have been or are a single parent you have no idea what it feels like. Your husband may work third shift and you may not like it but you still have help and you still have someone to fall back on. You’re not doing everything by yourself


My spouse works 7am to 5pm n I do everything at night but he helps when he gets home from work need to find that balance n everything will work out :slight_smile:

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It is difficult. Don’t let resentments build and cherish the times he IS there. Treasure them, even if they seem almost rushed and harried. It is stressful and chaotic, but can be worth it. It might mean changing your outlook though to a slightly more traditional one. Not all the old-school mentalities are bad or wrong. We all coo and awe about the people who last over fifty years and cry when we hear about the ones who die in less than a week of each other and even more so if it is holding hands or in each other’s arms and wonder how they made it while scorning any and all of the old practices. We preach gratitude and sacrifice without truly exhibiting either. In order to pay the bills, y’all are having to make some sacrifices to pay the bills in regards to time and in particular HIS time. I doubt he likes the separation any more than you do. But he does it because he loves you and y’alls family. It may be hard, but be grateful for what all he DOES do between work and what he does when he IS there and make sure HE knows it. When my husband was alive, during times we DID have post-it notes, I made an effort to write him every single day that they were available, telling him how much I loved him and appreciated what he did, at times listing what about him I loved and appreciated most. Funny thing, he kept them and it was during those times in our marriage that things were typically at their easiest, at their best, and at that time, he was going to school in the afternoons full time and work at nights full-time while I was pregnant or tending to a newborn for most of the notes. Most of the time, we couldn’t afford the post-it notes and it was a long time until I had some free ones from a free fair or festival booth. There is a fallacy going around that says happy wife, happy life, when it is actually happy spouse, happy house. No house is gonna be happy if anyone feels undervalued and unloved- husbands included. Enjoy the rare intimate moments and not just the sexual ones, treasure them, and be grateful in the mean time.

Yes. Been there. It’s so hard. He switched shifts eventually, to first and is now on second (which works better for us) so I’m no help as far as advice goes. But I definitely understand!

I work days M-F 5 am- 1:30 pm. Husband works M, Th, F & weekends varying shifts because unfortunately that’s retail. We have 3 kids (11, 12 & 18).

I know it’s hard… but y’all will get thrubit. I am basically a single mom of three kids under five, 3 dogs 2 cats and a 2400 sq. Foot house I have to maintain all by myself because my husband now works out of state… it IS SO SO SO HARD. Now I can’t imagine what the hell im gonna do abot mowig… but he use to work 12 hours days after the baby was born a year ago so I haven’t had help since then, and since then added 3 animals to the family. He is half deaf so he wouldn’t hear the baby at night. Now granite I don’t work… not a real job anyways but my job is hard af.

Mine works 10p-6a and hes not even guaranteed to get off at 6. I’m at home with both kids at night by myself. Its hard and it sucks, night shift has changed him. But we get to spend more time together as family vs when he worked 6a-6p.

Did this for 10 years and raised 2 boys. You gotta do what you have to do. I hired a babysitter at my house once a week for a couple hours so I could catch up on my business work when needed. We didn’t have cable tv and other luxury items so I could do it.

My husband worked a three shift rotating roster when our children were small. Week 1 was 7am-3pm, week 2 was 3pm-11pm and week 3 was 11pm-7am. Night shift was the worst with him being gone all night then trying to sleep during the day. It always seemed that special events were on the wrong week. Daytime ones occurred during his day shifts and evening ones during week 2 so we missed out on every event.Thank goodness after a couple of years he took a promotion which was 7-3 every day, every week with a bonus of every second Monday off.

Count your Blessings he is working. Dadly it isnt helping your situation. Its not easy and my heart goes out to you.