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"My fiance and I are about to get married. We are struggling on one aspect of our wedding…he wants booze at the wedding and I do not. My family are a bunch of recovering alcohloics but his friends/family party all the time…I don’t want my family to feel uncomfortable but I dont want his to feel bored…how do we compromise?r"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"We had a similar issue, so we opted for very limited alcohol. We also just had wine, nothing else. So no hard liquor or so."
"If he and his family prefer booze, see if he’d compromise for an “after party” that he and his friends/family can “turn up” at."
"They can drink after the wedding. It’s not about them anyway"
"Do bring your own. Or limit 2 drinks per guest have tokens no buying extra."
"No drinking at the wedding reception. Make it short and sweet maybe 2 hours. Then tell the friends to about the “after-party” for 2 hours after the reception……"
"For the cake and all and half do no alcohol then the other half make it an after-party with alcohol"
"BYOB… they bring what they want to drink. No glass no cans. Must put it in your own personal cup. Tumblers. Have him send it out to his friends and family. You send it to your friends and family who are not recovering. Mention it in passing to the recovering side that some will be drinking but not all. They will not see what the others are drinking so they may not be tempted."
"Recovery is dependent on the addict avoiding their own triggers. As someone who avoids alcohol, it’s not the worlds job to keep it from me. It’s my job to stay away from it. You could def compromise by of course having the ceremony, and reception, first dance, cake cutting, etc THEN decide to open the bar area. That way family doesn’t miss out on the major wedding details and they can choose to leave if they feel uncomfortable. However, many people in recovery are fine around it."
"Beer and wine no hard alcohol is what we did"
"Do an after-party, once the reception is over. Those that wanna drink and party can attend that. Those that don’t, can go home without feeling like they missed an event at your wedding."
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