I’d wait to tell anyone. If you’re willing to raise the child on your own I wouldn’t bother saying anything. Maybe down the road he will come around. I’d at least call him after the child’s birth.
From experience, you will have to sign the paper for child support. May be different in your state but I lived with my oldest sons father up until my oldest was 5. I chose to leave for reasons I’d not like to mention here. When I moved outta the home they told me I needed to pursue child support. I said no, I don’t want it. He’s in no shape to be around my son and if he pays it he will be hollering for visits and my son doesn’t need to be in his home or around him. They told me if I didn’t sign the paper they were going to take our medical cards. That was 50% his son and the government by god wanted him to pay his part in his medical care. So I had to. He doesn’t pay it and ain’t much of nothing to us and my oldest son accepts his dad for what he is. But just fair warning you, if you list him on the birth certificate you will probably have to deal with that so either don’t list him or ask him to sign his right away. I can’t give you advice on telling the man’s family. I tried not to do that and someone else who knew I was pregnant took it upon them damn selves to go tell the man’s family and they found out anyway. That’s your decision. I don’t want to even touch that one. Raising a baby who’s father didn’t want them is tough though, I’m not going to lie. It’s a rough road girl and I wish you and your baby the best of luck.
You can always send a little onesie and a card explaining that your scared to let them know but they have a right to know and if they dont want to be a part of the babies life they dont have to respond but if they do they can give you a call you can come by and even give updates and when baby is born they can be there and see the baby
HIS family. You were a fling, what privilege does that give you to break the news to them and not let him do it when he feels like it’s right?
It’s none of your business to drag his family into your poor planning. You should not have let yourself get pregnant. It’s not his family’s fault you are getting pregnant from a one night stand. Jesus what’s wrong with people.
Let them know after baby get a DNA to proof
I would drop it and leave it if he wants to be a loser let him me the kid is better of with out him
How do you get pregnant from a one week fling? WTF you just wanted a baby with no consideration or thought to anything or anyone or even that
poor baby now probably having to grow up on welfare. All this energy to illegalize abortion needs to be redirected to prevent girls playing baby roulette game.
Nope. His family. His call.
From a different perspective, I just want to share that I never knew who my family were on my fathers side and it still sux. I don’t think information like that should be withheld. I would tell them.
I wouldn’t personally because he doesn’t want the child and you don’t know how he would react. If you go announcing it his family how will he react? Do you know him well enough to know this or was he literally a random fling type thing?
Let him tell his own family if he chooses to do so. It’s obvious he wants nothing to do with you & clearly not interested in having a child with you.
You made the choice to keep the baby so do so & go on with your life. Don’t go bringing unnecessary problems on his grand parents
You took off your big girl panties to lay down & have a “fling” and got knocked up so deal with your choice
You’d have your feelings real hurt if you do decide to tell them & they have the same reaction as he did
Sounds like you want to tell his family, so you can entrap him. What is the point of telling them? So they come down hard on him and make he feel like shit? He told you he don’t want the pregnancy, he should have the right to end his side of the pregnancy if you choose to keep it. Just as you could terminate the pregnancy even if he wanted it! It’s time you grow up! You want to “raise the child on your own” but here you are saying you want to tell his family about the pregnancy! Sounds like you want drama or your trying to be a gold digger!
I think it’s on you. He’s made it clear what he wanted. Once the baby is born you can let him know again and if he wants nothing to do with it then you walk away and raise your child yourself. You cannot make any man be a father. They have to want to be a father.
So, just spinning it around…
Everyone is moaning HE doesnt want it and HES walking away. It takes 2 to make a baby etc etc… what if SHE didnt want it tho snd he did. Would it be different… i bet these replys would be tho!
If you plan to raise the baby alone then why tell his family?
Either way its upto you what you do, but isnt it going to be hard on the kid when he sees nana or poppa and cousins or whoever from the dads side etc and dad doesnt want to know him
You said you are doing this alone, right? Then do so. You told him, he wants no part, you have no right to drag his family into it because he rejected you. If you start the whole, “ my baby is a pawn” game before the kid is even born then you are not doing what’s best for that kid. If you can’t do what’s best for that kid, then reconsider the abortion option. Also consider that his family might think you unfit and try to go to court to take that kid…I raised my niece because she had a mom that wanted to stir up a bunch of shit for my family because my brother didn’t want her or the baby! I watched first hand what that bullshit does to a child, so you need to buck up and worry about your child not the idiot that rejected you! If you can’t do that, get the abortion.
No, don’t tell his family. It is his right to not want to be involved. You have zero rights when it comes to his family as well. . And you had no right getting pregnant and not protecting yourself for a simple 1 week fling. What happened to relationships? You and he both failed to actively protect against pregnancy. Suggest you seek possibilities of adoption. Who wants to raise a child alone? Who wants a child being raised without a dad, or in secrecy? Who wants a child in which was a complete accident with the shame of ill planning looking up at you forever? Why would you be selfish in making choices about yourself over your child? Lots to think about.
You were a fling for a week , Why wasn’t some kind of protection used ??? I hope to god he isn’t married and he snaps … This could all go so wrong … Js
If I was the grandparent I would want to know about a great grandchild. Children are a blessing. But your probably going to have a long road ahead being a single mom, but let me tell you, it’s all worth it.
The amount of women on here that are blaming only her for getting pregnant is sickening.
Do what ur heart tells you to so
Go on with your life.
This is so sad on many levels
Does he know you wanted a baby? Some people want to have sex on a fling without having a baby
It’s so unfair to the guy in this situation
You should of both been using protection for many reasons including diseases
Obviously no one can tell you what to do and it’s in your right to do what you want as well
But it’s a sad situation
Yes tell dem… but keep focus n dont expect help or nun from dem… if dey choose to fine… u can do dis… am doing it
He doesn’t want anything to do with the baby so I’m sure he doesn’t want his family involved. if you say you’re good raising the child by yourself just move on and forget about him
If it were my son and i had a grandchild somewhere id want to know about it regardless of how disappointed id be with him for not using protection
His grandparents already know, as a matter of fact, his entire family knows and he’s already put a negative spin on the situation. So, if you choose to tell them, by all means go ahead and do so however, you are not going to get the warm reception as you are anticipating.
yes…you must tell his family about your pregnancy…if they accept it or not…at least you’ve done your part…and no, no for abortion…keep the child…it’s God’s blessing…raise him/ her well…even the father wants him/ her dead…Pray for God’s help and provisions…God bless you and your child!
He’s made his choice… Don’t trap him into playing daddy. If u want the baby and to raise it then good on u, as long as ur aware that u will obviously be doing it alone
First ask yourself what are your reasons?
It’s still very early to make so many decisions. Do what is best for you and give him some space. He will either come around or he won’t.
Wait to tell the grandparents until you are further along.
If you need help financially there are many organizations available for single parents that your doctor or social worker can help you with.
Best of luck to you and your baby!
Nope! No need. Move on and raise you child without the drama! Good luck
Personally i wouldn’t. They didnt get you pregnant and not your place to tell his family. But if you do be prepared for what ever lies hes already told them. You are probably already a crazy drug addict nut case that’s stalking him in their eyes. Be ready to be have them not believe you and verbally slander you.
Of course you do. There should be no judgement from anyone. Of course it is not easy to raise a child on your own. However of course it takes two. Love unconditionally and just be a good person and make good choices.
It would depend if they want to be a part of the child’s life and if they would be a good influence. And if the dad wants nothing to do with the child that’s fine. But make sure you file child support. Every child deserves the financial support of 2 parents. The court will say the same thing, even if he doesn’t want to actively participate.
Have u ever met his family? You said it was a 1 week fling so they may not be too welcoming
Let it go. Your luck you have the baby and they’ll fight for custody.
As a grandmother and great grandmother I want to know about every one of my babies. I may not be able to a lot financially but I’m still going to love that baby and do what I can for you and the baby
For what ? He already told you he’s position!!! If you willing to go ahead by yourself do so
Why? You said it was a fling, he told you to abort now your just being a cunt. Go have baby mind ya business and raise bubba
Drop it and he will tell them if he wants them to know
Ladies we are talking about a baby… they had unprotected sex, she gets pregnant, he is been a total D… ( his right it was a 1 week stand ) she wants to keep it ( her right she doesn’t believe in abortion) lets move on …
for a lot of people abortion is the new birth control … is wrong but That’s were we are know.
honey this is about what YOU want. If you decide and YOU are sure you want to bring the baby to this world go on. About the father. Time will tell if he wants to be part of his life or not. He might be scared he might truly will not want nothing to do with the child. Is hes descition and you have to respect it the same way he has to respect yours.
About the grandparents if you choose you want to carry on and have his kid the right thing is to involve the grandparents I don’t see why not…
NO you would be forcing yourself into his life. Hes been very upfront that he doesnt want to be part of your lives
You can do as you please it is your decision but think long and hard before you make your final decision. Your child eventually will want to know who his or her father is and you will not be able to provide that for him or her because the man made it clear he is not interested. Don’t set yourself or your child up for a lifetime of heartache.
I think that his family deserves a chance to know the child, just because he doesn’t want it doesn’t mean his family doesn’t it. I think it’s also entirely up to you at this point!
It’s a good thing you’re all so perfect you can sit back and judge.
The amount of people that are saying “you should’ve used protection” is ridiculous. Y’all know condoms break and birth control fails right? lOvE how everyone acts like it’s solely her fault.
When he decided to not USE protection he knew the risk!!! So I def think the child deserves financial support. Many men choose to walk away, that’s his choice. Ok YOU also chose to NOT use protection. This is BOTH your faults and this child is the ONLY one who is gonna suffer. I honestly think u should sit down and write out the pros and cons yo telling his family. You had the right too tell yours you should be equally respectful and allow him to tell his family. Jus saying
I was in the same position. I gave him until she was 2 to make a decision. I knew my daughter deserved to know her other family,so I took child support out on him and of course he wanted DNA I figured if he couldn’t be there physically he will be financially best decision ever. Just give it time who knows things may change for the better and if not at least you didn’t keep your child in the dark
I wouldn’t tell them that’s his responsibility to do so not yours!! I hear all the time how it’s your body your choice for abortion and I can respect that I personally DO NOT believe in them at all however if the man wants a baby and the woman doesn’t she gets a abortion the man can’t do anything about it the woman wants a baby the man doesn’t he doesn’t have a say she keeps the baby and now he has to pay child support!! It’s double standards I’m sorry he stated he didn’t want the baby he wants you to abort you don’t then you move on and raise the child on your own without going after him for support in my opinion!! If it were me I would have my child I would not contact him EVER and I’d do it on my own because I don’t think it should only be my decision to have the baby or not have the baby I didn’t make it on my own so he should yes have a say and if he chooses he don’t then he has no say no rights and you do it purely alone!! And yes I know I’m about to get bashed for this because he helped make the baby he need to support it then but clearly it was a week fling they both didn’t take precautions and now there’s a baby on the way but we as women take all the men’s rights away by making the decision without them
I’d say let it go. Unless you actually met the family during your fling, the father wants nothing to do with your baby so no sense in letting the family know. Just file for child support.
Two words: child support. You will probably need to do a paternity test but it takes two to tango. Responsibility is on both of you
I wouldn’t tell them.
Have your child. Tell your family. If he wanted his to know he would have been ok with you having it. It will be hard but you are responsible in part for the life inside you .He gave up on his part don’t do like him.You will be ok . Work for your child and care for him or her.You will not be the first or the last. You will get through.What ever decision you make think long .
I would wait until the baby is born.
Honey Don’t even bother. You won’t be the first or the last to be a single mother. You raise that precious little bun in the right direction. It’s not gonna be easy but as long as you have a family that supports you that’s all you need. Best of luck to you.
Okay, I’m going to be the jerk! We all know sex is how you make babies! I assume you are both adults, call it a fling or whatever, but brains should be engaged before hopping in the sack! I dated a guy a couple times and he was pushing for sex. I told him right out I was not on birth control and ask if he brought any. He said you won’t get pregnant, I said okay sure, first you sign a paper that if I do, you will be paying child support for 18 years. Well, he decided I wasn’t really that hot anyway, I didn’t have to hold onto my underwear. He left, happy ending.
This was not a rape or a one night stand, you both should know sex is how you make babies. This is a 50-50, no one should assume that sex any time with anyone is safe. You both could have had protected sex, but now there is the baby. Men run and women get stuck for life with his unwanted child. You can’t make someone love you or your baby, not even his family. Good luck with your choice!
Just realize he will have half rights to your kid whether he is involved or not. Get custody asap
Let them know, it’s their right as a grand parents I sure would most definitely want to be a part of their life in any way
He can go kick rocks…
He should have a “choice” just like u do😉 don’t force a baby on anyone, if u choose to keep it than that’s on u alone
YOU are choosing to keep it, he has told you he has no desire to be involved. Accept YOUR choices and leave him alone.
Soooo you meet a guy for a week and have unprotected sex?? Id be more worried of HPV and HIV instead of bothering a family that raised a boy like that
I would wait and feel the situation out. Sometimes involving family makes shit complicated.
Let it go no point in dragging his family in it especially since they might try to make him do the right thing and it may just lead to the baby getting hurt
It is always better to have only one responsible parent, then to involve many unwilling, uncooperative ones. Husbands and wives, parents and in laws, they fight, divorce and shit because of different parenting and priorities. If I can raise a child myself, I would definitely do it alone. Stop bullshiting yourself and everyone, u just hope that by telling his family then he’ll involve himself. It will never turn out good, it just one more way to screw up your kid. It’s not about u anymore if u gonna have the baby
If you plan on doing it on your own, I wouldn’t bother. The co parenting with my daughters dad is one of the hardest things I have to deal with, and really wish I didn’t have too.
If he said he doesnt want the kid why tell them. If you aren’t worried about raising the child alone then I’d leave it be. You both knew it was a fling. I say move on, raise the child alone and live the best life you can. Having him or his family in this childs life won’t make anything better. He lives with his grandparents so that says a lot about him. Love this baby as only you know how and leave him be. If he wants in the childs life then great but dont force him if he clearly said he doesnt want a child.
I would wait till you have the baby and get settled being a new mom. Have him sign over rights. Then involve his family if that’s what you choose. If they want to be part of that child’s life great. if they don’t, you’re honestly better off. Don’t force a relationship with dad or his family. It will only hurt baby, no child wants to feel unwanted.
I think that if he has made it clear that this isn’t what he wants and you do then you should do this on your own. Men have no say really and more often than not are treated extremely unfair. You want to disregard his feelings you should raise this child alone imo no child support or familial support. He’s made his position clear.
Yes tell them have your baby there will be some hard times but trust in God and he will see u through two of my sisters went through the same thing and there children is grown now and well educated trust in God
No you do you. He has told you he doesn’t want it.
Don’t tell the grandparents.
Why is this so unfair to the guy ??? I find this ridiculous
Honestly this is a hard one. It would depend on the family. Some families r more supportive and interested than the daddy. I would tell them but more because i would b filing for child support. Yea it was a fling and shit happens sometimes but that doesnt mean he has no responsibility here. U got pregnant and r having a baby. Thats not a small thing u can just blow off. For 18+ years u r responsible for taking care of the childs needs and the dad should help even if he wants no part of it. Its hard and i know u may not want to do that but that is one way to ensure that financially the child cared for. Even if u just put it in savings for the child when its grown its something
Drop it from experience better off to raise on your own
I wouldn’t involve these people. You may get more than you bargained for, or ever wanted. Been there, done it. Just concentrate on you and your baby and don’t look back.
I feel it’s the baby’s right to know his/her family. Regardless of who is bringing up the child. It’s not a luxury it’s a necessity. Someone has to take responsibility for his/her future… blood is like a magnet imagine they found each other and fell in love (it does happen) health matter are important how about genes? etc. our lives are not guaranteed best to do it earlier rather than three years later etc. if it were me I would wait three or four months and discuss it at a public place to keep the cool.
If my son had any children out there I would want to know about it. Don’t take away their grandparent rights without knowing what they want. Wait until you are farther along and the father has gotten used to the idea. I would tell them in a letter with your return address. Wait and hopefully they will get in touch with you. Or wait and send a birth announcement. I wouldn’t push it, if they aren’t interested.
There is a reason he lives with his gr.parents - could be his parents have passed away or just don’t get along with him or whatever but you told him and he clearly told you to get an abortion and he couldn’t have been anymore clear than that that he does not want a child or the responsibility that goes along with it - do you know him well enough to drop in on his gr.parents and place that kind of news on them for them to possibly get upset with him or even worse you? Let dogs lay and raise that beautiful little gift from God on your own. If you live in the same close area he may see you out and about as you progress in this pregnancy and change his mind but seriously I doubt it but not knowing either of you I can’t really make that call on the situation. It’s ultimately your choice now in what you do and figure out if it would be worth the risk of more disgruntlement towards you over this pregnancy or being in a complete stable state of mind knowing you wanted your child no matter what and you will support and love it him/her unconditionally as a sole parent. Good luck in whatever choice you make and God Bless you and your baby. And by the way I’m a Trump supporter…just thought I would add that bc another post lashed out someone else bc of what they said…no judgement here whatsoever towards you or the man just an opinion and it doesn’t matter about the length of time of anything either that’s your business but I do love the fact that you don’t believe in abortion and it warms my heart to know that you love your baby already that’s says a lot about what a truly good person you are.
He may not want a baby but he is financially responsible now. Good for you choosing to have it. When you go to the hospital and you have the baby they will ask who the dad is. If you don’t name him you are going to be financially responsible on your own. If you lie and you get assistance you could get in trouble for not naming him as the father.
Tell them after the child is born. You don’t want grandparents to pressurise the guy to care cause he’ll and up frustrating you and that’ll be unhealthy to your unborn baby
You had a week fling with him and you just found out. Maybe he’s in shock and needs time to process it all. Give him time.
It really isn’t your place to involve his family but most especially to go behind his back. You don’t have to agree with his choice but you don’t have the right to go behind his back to his family either.
Not to mention do you know his family like that? You may want to at least wait for ultrasound or blood tests. Some kind of proof of pregnancy and that it is his baby. Especially if he doesn’t want anything to do with it. He could choose to deny your truth.
Some girl i dont know, shows up to announce a pregnancy with my son, better have proof or she will be shown the hard way out. Too many trappers out there to take a chance on a stranger claiming to be having my grandchild.
I find this bizarre. You had a fling for a week. With the guy you basically don’t know and had unprotected sex. What did you think would happen? It takes two to create a life, but, it clearly wasn’t anything serious. The guy doesn’t want to have a child with you. Now, you say you OK to raise it on your own, but by saying that you want to tell his grandparents, you’re clearly not OK and are obviously hoping they will force him to be with you. This is wrong on so many levels. Now either actually be a single parent and forget that guy and his family exists, or have an abortion.
You drop it! Its his responsibility to tell his family, not yours!
And dont go after him for child support either! You didnt like him asking you to get an abortion so dont force him into any kind of responsibility including financial because you chose to keep it. Let him have his choice too!
When two consenting adults have sex it’s BOTH of their responsibility to look after themselves individually eg her on pill him use condoms. When the choice to have unprotected sex is made irrelevant as to who made that choice, then any outcome good or bad is both their responsibility. It is clearly understood that the guy does not want the baby. It is clearly understood that the girl does and won’t have an abortion. Irrelevant as to the circumstances surrounding this they are both responsible financially in the eyes of the law. The question that was asked was should she inform his parents of the baby. I am a grandmother of five and should my son get anyone pregnant he WILL take responsibility for it as he made a choice as well as the mother. As for telling his parents,YES they have a right to know if they have a grandchild out there. They could be a great support or they may say they don’t want anything to do with it. Irrelevant, they have a right to know the child should they wish to do so and the child most definitely has a right to know its family. You do what you feel is right for your child.
Tell them in a letter and be done, move forward, don’t look back!
Why do you wanna tell them? You planning on raising the baby on your own and he clearly doesn’t want to be part of it. Take your little self respect and dignity and get on with your life. A week fling? No protection? Wow! What did you expect? A teddy bear? The guy as well, pulls up his pants and takes no responsibility. What a coward!
id wait til was born an few mths old
Drop it and bring it up in court. Allow him to relinquish his rights then move on with ur life.
It is about the baby not the mother or father. What is best for the baby is to know both sides of a family. The medical history of the fathers family is important so yes telling the parents is a good idea. I wouldn’t go over the house that’s just not right in my opinion. Perhaps wait till the baby is born or if not write a letter I know that is ancient but it is still personal. I think taking him to court for support is needed here because you and the father made this child so you both should be helping the child grow in the proper environment with as much support as the child needs.
If you don’t believe in abortion, there is always adoption.
Gul u hv no business with his family unless the man wants it. U already said u wanna keep the baby, do that. Assume ur responsibility. He may come around, they usually do. Just concentrate ur energy on yourself n ur baby.
See… I’m going to play devils advocate… A lot of yall said the man has responsibilities even if he didnt want them but Had the tables been turned and SHE wanted an abortion but HE wanted to keep the baby, everyone would be screaming that he has no say and it’s her body her choice… So if a woman can get out of HER responsibility by terminating the pregnancy then a man should be able to walk away Scott free if he doesn’t want a child… Cant have it both ways guys…
How come adoption hasn’t been considered, so many loving would be parents out there.
First of all. Unless he is under 18 he is by law obligated to pay for this child. So say nothing. When child’s born take him to court. Period. That’s the answer of most guys who don’t want to take responsibility. You play you pay.
I feel like its kind of up to him to tell his family. If hes not gonna have anything to do with the baby, he probably wont bother to tell them. But if you do decide to go to them, be sure to make it clear you are not expecting their help or support, or for them to convince him to step up. You just want them to be aware that they have a grandchild.
Don’t know how old you are. But listen to the wise sages on here. Don’t create drama it will get u no where. Think wisely and carefully, ur bringing a new life on this planet and that means ur life is now there’s. Ur life will be about protecting, living and providing. This is when it’s time to step it up and be woman enough and do the right thing. Adoption, there are people right now begging to have children. Let this man go if that’s even what u can call him. Either way, it’s a new life. Choose wisely.
In the future remember flings are just that, flings for people like good time Joe.
For everyone saying she should not tell the family because the guy doesn’t want to know, I disagree, I have four grandchildren, three from my daughter and one from my son, my son is no longer with the mother but has his daughter every weekend, if my son were to ever have another child with another woman (even if he didn’t want to know, which would never happen, but if it did!) I would certainly want to be told, that child will still be my grandchild whether or not my son wanted to know, that child is still part of my son and myself.