Should I put my kids in daycare or let grandparents watch them?

What if you split the time to see how it goes for the parents.

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Grandparents please :pray:t5:

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Daycare or private arrangements. Don’t burden your parents unless they want to/special occasion over night. They’ve worked hard to raise their kids. Don’t ask them to raise yours. :heart:

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Daycare.
It’s not fair to the grandparents. They get cheated out of their role as grandparents having them every day.
Kids need to socialize and get along with others other than just family members. Plus to get into a routine. I had a daycare n my home and I could always tell which ones who were never away from their own family members. I also don’t agree on splitting the days up cause I’ve seen where the children get confused as to which day they are going where. Kids need a routine.
Let the grandparents enjoy their retirements and do special things with the kids in the evening or weekends.

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Try a combo…of grandparents (if they are offering to do the care giving) and daycare…if grandparents don’t work go to full daycare but if it works you might save yourself some money and build an amazing generational relationship for your kids…and add life back to your parents.

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Grandparents ,unless they have a severe or crippling disability. It also depends on if your kids are wild or not :person_shrugging:

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My parents watched my daughter while we worked and it was the greatest blessing for all of us, she developed quickly because she was around adults, walked at 9 months, she could talk plainly, and best of all, she got to bond with her grandparents who just adored her, sadly they have passed away but now, I watch my daughter’s son while she works, and we will feel better knowing that he is with family.

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I can understand how your fiancé would feel better having the kids with family who love them and only have them to take care of. Also there are the horror stories of daycares that aren’t the best at taking care of young kids who have behavior issues, and other kids get hit bitten or otherwise mistreated by other kids. At the same time, a toddler gets to see other kids, and while they may be too young for cooperative play, they may like the chance to play with different toys and be in different surroundings. The baby will probably sleep through a lot of the experience at first, but may grow into it in time. Daycare is pricey. You have to figure it into your budget. I would try to do research on the daycares near you, get ratings from customers and find the one which is best for your children.

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Let your grandparents rest!
Yeah you’ll be saving money, but kids takes a lot of energy.
They already raised their kids, at that age they need to not be chasing children.
I’m a nanny and I am exhausted at the end of the day, and I’m 33.
There are tons of great places where your children can flourish!

Maybe part time spilt the time.

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Home daycare provider myself have always had my grandkids until my daughter worked in a facility for a year. She started her own daycare because of how bad facilities are. She left as lead teacher for infants she and someone else had 13 new borns !!!.I worked with 6 to 12mo because I couldn’t stand how we had 8 babies to 2 people that’s to many. Your kids need to stay with family

I’m scared to put my son in daycare because he cruise for everything that doesn’t go his way and I just feel like someone will get to frustrated with him

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That depends on the mental place. Not all daycares do their background checks well and so on. I’ve heard a lot of nightmare stories. Especially for a baby that can’t even say they are being treated poorly.

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Daycare in my opinion, make sure to visit them and ask other parents of the children that go their experiences though. Fortunately I have had no instances with mine as they prefer to be over staffed so don’t have many children meaning a lot of 1-1 time, they get her involved with baking and everything (she turned 3 last month and can write her name, knows the abc and can count to 20) however I know other parents have pulled or moved their children in other day cares.
We felt it was best for her development and socialisation plus getting ready for school etc.
Is it an option to do 2-3 days at daycare and 1 day each with your parents? Save you money and best of both worlds.

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You are right. Daycare for sure.

Daycare. The grandparents did their time taking care of kids. It’s time they relaxed and enjoy the times they do get to see the kids. Like at get togethers

I’m in my 60s and I watch my great-granddaughter n I love it

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Daycare. The grandparents did their time taking care of kids. It’s time they relaxed and enjoy the times they do get to see the kids. Like at get togethers

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As a private nanny or babysitter most of the time when I lose my job I lose it to grandparents and while I get it I don’t like it. Maybe let thr grandparents do it one or two days a week and daycare for the rest.

Grandparents. Too many things can go awful at a daycare. No offense to the good daycare workers out there

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You need to research daycares. Believe every single bad review, ask lots and lots of questions. Coming from someone who worked in one for awhile. It can seem like the perfect place and have so many bad things going on. I would much rather have family watch my kids, but if yours are a little older maybe you’ll have an okay experience.

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I recommend splitting time with grandparents and daycare. I’m 64 and have aggressive RA. I love my grandchildren with all my heart and soul. I’m not healthy enough to care for them all the time and it breaks my heart. They are 9,10 and 12 it’s a little easier.

If they can physically mentally handle this I would absolutely put them with loved ones. I have worked in two daycares now and while they were good daycares the things I have still witnessed here and there I would not it all be OK with if it was my kid. Also it does not matter with their development as long as they are socialized and not just sitting at home. Teaching them etc.

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A mix is better. Especially consider the fact that if you tell the grand parents that they are unfit and can’t be trusted and then a situation arises where the daycare closes for a month. Or whatever. Theyve got no experience together. And could be resentful that you don’t want them unless they are last option

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Do daycare most of week and have them share one day :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Depends… my older boys did amazing with out daycare / preschool. My daughter who’s 3 would have benefited from it socially ! Definitely not educationally tho… there are too many kids for a them to get individual one on one. Socially… sure but there’s drop in centers. Plus maybe your mons would benefit greatly. I’m sure they loves those kids . Why not give it a shot ? :slight_smile: maybe few days each.

If your city has a Mother’s Day out Program, you could do part time. I work for a MDO program and it’s amazing. The children come from 8-230. It gives them time to socialize with their peers and also do fun activities. We have a set curriculum and I do art, songs, math, science, gross motor activities. Do your research and see if that might be a good fit for your kiddo. That way if the grandparents want to watch them as well, it won’t be so overwhelming for both grandparent and child.

Grandparents. My in laws are in there 70s and they enjoy their time. My dad loves all the time he gets with them too.
My son is non verbal autistic and I wouldn’t trust anyone more with them other than my hubby and self.
To many of my coworkers with stories about incidents at daycare.

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Grandparents until they are big enough to be able to tell you how they’re being treated. Or video of their entire day on demand.

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Grand parents love the kids but raised there own, Time to enjoy life, Your kids can visit them at times but not daily.

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I’d do a mix. If grandparents want them give them a day. Then everyone is happy.

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Yes good idea daycare I know we baby set in our 70s and it wore us out

I would prefer grandparents over daycare. Them being I believe they’d get out more with their grandparents thab daycare. And I just wouldn’t trust the dsycare… msybe if thry were filly verbal but until then, not a chance.

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As a 62 year old grandmother I will say that I’m in pretty good shape physically and mentally but my 2 youngest grandchildren are 2 and 3 and they require attention at all times. I agree day care is the right thing mine go to daycare and I watch them every now and then for a little while. I couldn’t imagine having to do it all day long.

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Grandparents, it is scientifically proven that watching grandchildren keeps them healthy and helps their minds etc, so at least one or two days with grandparents, and the rest daycare if they have cameras you can access any time so you know they are being treated right

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Grandparents! I plan to keep mine one day.:heart:

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Nope put them in daycare if safety is going to even be a concern for you. Other than the love of a grandparent what will they be bringing to the table as a teacher to these kiddos? If mobility and mental health is an issue how will they be treated when they’re having issues? Do you agree on discipline and punishment? Same food habits? How much electronics or outside playtime the kids are exposed to? Are they up to date on current safety standards? Will they listen to you and your partners rules or will they “know better bc they raised…” if any of that is an issue then an impartial worker may be best.

Too many horror stories that include daycare for me. Nobody is going to love those kids like their grandparents. Family over strangers in my opinion :woman_shrugging:t3: plus it’s cheaper.

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You know your mom’s limitations.
And parents in their 70s… That is A LOT!

I think they’d be a great backup but every single day would be a lot for all of them. Let them be grandparents.

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Just do day 2 to 3 days a week. Leave with your mom one day a week, and with his him one day a week. Something like that. Compromise.

From my experience, our parents watched Sisters 2 and our 2, from the first day we went back to work. That being said, they were 48 and 46, to 56/58 years old when they had our 4. There are many good reasons IMO when that honor is extended. The one thing we did different than Sis was our two went to 3/4 year preschool. Depends on the kiddos, there wasn’t a big difference looking back as far as social skills. When my Nieces had their first, I was a SAHM and the first Great Nephew I began watching at 3 months old, a year later my parents took over watching him (9 years ago) and I started watching the 6 week old. I was teaching my youngest lil guy sign language at 10 months old (we have a young family member who is hearing impaired) as well as I started pre school learning with him before he started pre-K 3. The cost savings, they’re with family, parents don’t miss work when kiddos are sick, and for us, most importantly, they learned our family’s values and traditions.

My mom was in her 70s & watched 5 for free.

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Daycare 3 days and grandparents 2 days

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Daycare for sure. Young kids are so very hands on and constant. If grandparents want to spend time with them, you can always drop them at their house and they can take them to daycare before lunch/sleeptime. Or drop them at daycare and grandparents pick them up after their sleep. Yours can do tuesdays and his parents can do thursdays. Helps break things up.

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Daycare but every once in a while allow grandparents a day

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I personally opted for my parents and his helping us. We just couldn’t afford our child being sick all the time. My child has never been in daycare and developed just fine socially.

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Family is family and bonding with grandparents is a very big part of a childs life.

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Its best to put in daycare that way they work with them and also they help with potty training. And they are around other kids

Grandparents hands down. Not only do you know they will be loved and well taken care of (because let’s face it, daycare scandals happen quite often) but also because it is a great bonding experience! The children will benefit and it is proven that grandparents live longer when they have their grandchildren around often.

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  • 100%
    if you can afford it- and it’s an option- DAYCARE- they do so many sensory and educational and interactive things in daycare that just isn’t done in a grandparents home setting.(unless they are running a daycare)
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Nope. The great grandparents are not allowed to watch my kid alone. 2 of them have COPD. One has Alzheimer’s. Two are okay but couldn’t keep up with him. That’d be 3 extra hands. They were fantastic babysitters for us as kids but they just can’t do it now that they’re all in their 70s. They’ve all offered. Several times. But they don’t know we have that rule.
It’s about the safety of your child. There have been times that I as the mother have been mentally unwell to care for him (early days of PPA).
You are the only advocate for that child. You are the only one that will do what is best.
That being said…
Finding a daycare you trust is incredibly difficult and can be terrifying. Maybe that’s where his head is. He needs to see that they’ll be safe.

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My nephew was abused in day care. Came home with bruises on his back we didn’t think much about the bruises until he started screaming no mommy no everytime he was put into a highchair. They were keeping him locked in a highchair all day. They said he ran around like he owned the place. My sister called the cops and cps and cps said they needed more allegations than just her and the cops sent a cop in uniform to check it out. I know of 5 more kids getting abused there before they shut it down, and that’s just what I know of.

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Grandparents are such an important part of the family unit that has been lost in recent generations. If they can and are able I think in a Grandparents home is hands down the best option

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Use both. The child gets to socialize with other children and do fun sensory activities at the daycare and they get to bond with their grandparents a couple days a week too. Best of both worlds.

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both. I feel like full time with grand parents is a lot, coming from the struggles i have had to face with my daughter being watched by her grandmother. it had been an uphill battle and she finally just told all of us that she was done watching kids cause it is too difficult. I understand not wanting to put a newborn in child care but I also feel like it may exhaust a resource for date nights or juts needing to catch up on thingsd

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Daycare and I know this from experience. After her being there for 1 month there was such an improvement in her speech. If you don’t want to do full time daycare to start, put her in 3 days a week and then grandparents 2 days if you can.

There are benefits to both, but speaking from personal experience, I would allow their grandparents to keep them if they are physically and mentally able. There is nothing like the relationship between grandparents and grandchildren. I was hesitant to let my MIL keep mine at first, but hands down it was the best decision in the long run. My boys got to know their grandmother and have a good relationship with her now (they are 18 and 15). If you don’t want them keeping them full time, do a 3/2 week where they stay with them 3-2 days and daycare 2-3 days. That way the grandparents get a break and they get the benefit of daycare (plus that can help you out financially if they don’t expect payment-we did pay my MIL to keep our boys, but not as much as we would have had to pay daycare.)

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Nobody will take as good of care of them than your family! Nobody! My grandmother insisted taking care of my son as he was growing up and she loved every minute of it. They had a special bond. That did her more good! She felt needed. He still talks about his granny.

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If you choose daycare make sure you do your research on the daycare of your choice. Make sure they have cameras and make sure all teachers/staff are fallowing state and licensing rules and regulations. Always ask about curriculum and don’t be afraid to ask other questions.

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I’m not seeing where all the grandparents actually volunteered to watch them. I love my grandkids, but I would not want to have them 10 hours a day, 5 days a week. I have things I still would need to do if I wasn’t working anymore, or things I wanted to do without having to raise a second set of kids. On occasion there’s nothing wrong with having a day with gramma if able. But from the sounds of it, his parents and your parents don’t seem physically or mentally capable of providing a consistently safe environment. Not all day cares are bad. Do your research.

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They’re getting up there in age, I personally would not leave them responsible for my kids. On the flip side, my kids were always sick in preschool. It was never ending until kindergarten started. So there are pros and cons

You know your kiddos, your support system, and your finances best. It was a tough decision for us too; but ultimately we had the opportunity to put our kiddo into an amazing pre-k program, so we went for it. We have absolutely no regrets! I’m sure you will make the best decision for your family. :blue_heart:

Both. This allows grandparents to bond with child. Keep them going and motivates them. Less time in daycare but not over doing it with grandparents cuts the expense in half. Every body wins!

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In the long-run itll be better to find a good daycare and put them in it. Grandparents can only handle so much, its a lot different when they visit couple hours here n there as suppose to everyday for what like 8 hours? That’s a lot for elderly folk. The daycare workers can actually run around with them and go go go and plus all the other kids to socialize. I understand the trust part cause obviously you trust them over anyone in daycare but its something us parents have to cope with cuz its like school in general you gotta somehow trust all the teachers lol

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One thing about daycare is they catch everything going around, but grandparents give special attention to the child. Why not try daycare part time, maybe two days a week and grands three days, see what happens.

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I put my daughter in daycare/prek cause her sisters switch to public school from homeschool and she thrived and loved it. She graduated pre k to go to kindergarten and she couldn’t be happier. With the grandparents watching may be y’all could do like 1 or 2 days a week

Definitely daycare although nanas will give them something a daycare never could and that’s memory’s and unconditional love allday long :ok_hand:t5:they ain’t getting any younger and probably would love to spend there days watching there grandchildren

I’d recommend both. Part time daycare will save you money & not overwork the grandparents.

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Send them to daycare

Daycare, if you can find a good one with references. IMO it’s good for the kids to be around other kids.

Part time daycare and then give a day to each grandparent.

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Part time Grandparents here & would be too much full time!

My kids have been in daycare since 6 weeks old and I’m grateful for it honestly their are good day cares that have cameras communicate and do cleanliness! I have a lot of family but watching children is a lot of work and they do get frustrated! You can just take kids over when you want a date night or think of the pros and cons of saving money but that’s my opinion I’m great full for the daycare and after school program and summer program long term! Gives my kids a routine and myself if I was a stay home mom I’d go crazy :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

As someone who had that job for all of the grandkids, I can tell you by the time I was 60 I was pretty darn tired…I tried to pick up the torch for the great grands, and could barely carry it…LOL…the grandparents would probably enjoy part-time…

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Check around for the best daycares as they are pretty structured…If you can afford it I think it is the best place for your kids hands down :slight_smile:

Yes daycare then let grandma take them when she wants and is rested up .

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Put in daycare. 2 kids all day is a lot. Maybe start out either half days or 3 days a week in daycare. They learn so much there it’s almost mandatory before kindergarten. Take it from a grandma.

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If the grandparents both have issues then they should stick to casual weekend family time where you and/or dad have time off and can be around. Professional childcare is great as they learn social skills and have development targeted activities. There’s nothing wrong with gp care obviously and it’s wonderful if it’s offered and that they get to spend that time together but if there’s health issues then childcare is better and potentially safer

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Definitely daycare. And let grandma’s fill in now and again for a few hours on occasion.

Daycare it is not your families place to take care of your kids

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They will be more structured in a school setting. Grandparents have a tendency to let them do as they want to.

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I think a bit of each. You could give the parents one day a week if they want it.
Sometimes you may need them when they are sick one day and daycare won’t take them or vice versa, some days they shut.

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Half and half maybe?

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I guess it depends?
My grandma watched my oldest son for a couple years while I worked with the help of my mom and my aunt.
She was in her 70s. She has some mental health issues, but overall she did really well with him. Ultimately my schedule didn’t really allow for a daycare anyways (I worked odd hours).
Since you are both parents, this is a decision you both need to make together.

Have you listened to his concerns over putting your child in daycare? If not, then ask and really try hear him out.
Maybe he himself had bad experiences or was friends with someone who did.
Maybe he’s worried about some of the reports that go around.
Those are valid concerns.
If you can’t agree on one way or the other maybe It’s possible comprise and do both.
With the understanding that grandparents will be {honest} if they begin to struggle.

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My kids have been 2-3 days a week in daycare or preschool and other days with grandmas. It’s worked out well for us! However I know not all daycares will do that type of set up.

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you should let them spend at least one day a week with the grandparents it sure would make them happy .I love seeing mine but know i couldn’t do 5 days a week baby sitting

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Having grandparents to care for their grandkids ( if they are able and willing….) is a blessing for everyone!!!:heart:

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Yeah. I would definitely recommend grandparents first UNLESS they’re not well physically or mentally (age) - I wouldn’t want to put that on them. Babies are… hard! Lol. And it’s nothing against them at all! I’d feel bad!

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Let the grandparents if they are able. No one will love your kids like granny and gramps. They will learn many skills with them that they won’t get in daycare. Maybe you could do daycare 1-2 days a week. Just remember your child won’t get the 1on1 attention and love in daycare. They have all of their lives to socialize and be in school/work.

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They also teach them day care is the best

No I think you are absolutely right day care would be the best thing for them you not trying to be ugly they are to old and was be hard on them physically and mentally

Child care in daycare is guaranteed. Grandparents especially if older…are not always up to the job. So the children get older yes…grandparents are ok but young children need younger more mobile caregivers.

Definitely Daycare. They need the socialization. You could maybe do 4 days of daycare and the grandparents could so 1 day or something. That way they can have some time and it would save a little money.

No daycare. Grandparents if the parents can’t watch them, which is the best option.

My kids love daycare and run toward their friends every day. The teachers provide so many enriching activities for their developmental stages. They also get to experience themselves as independent people away from their family. I recognize, though, that this is not the right solution for every family and may not be an option for every family. It really comes down to the situation. I would never leave my children with people who I doubted could physically or mentally care for them.

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Grandparents and remote monitor

That’s very considerate of u. My mother is in her 70’s & I knw that she cnt take care of my son due to her health it wld be too much for her. Daycare is the best decision in my opinion

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Definitely would recommend the grands first but if they are incapable (too elderly or frail mentally or physically) then the daycare would more than likely be a better option instead of putting your child on a person that just can’t do it. Children are tiring.

Those of you who have family to take their children in while y’all work, good for you! Not everyone has that option or family that are mentally or physically capable to handle even just one child. So before you cast judgment think about if you were in that situation.