I know a girl who wasn’t allowed to date til she was 16 and her father would not budge on the subject. So she started sneaking out at night, lying about where she was going and who she was going with. She dated 5 boys at least this way.
Personally, I’d rather give my kids the okay to date but know where they are and who they are with so that they won’t feel the need to lie.
My parents didn’t have to many rules for dating, i decided i wouldn’t date while i was young. I waited that was my choice.
I would set boundaries but allow her to do things bc at the end of the day if she wants to do it she’s going to find a way and you’d rather her feel like she can talk to u about it than have to hide it
The more you try and ‘control’ her, the more she will rebel. Being 16 does not somehow mean she can handle herself…what are you doing to prepare her?
My partner and I have been together for 35 years…since I was 13. We have 2 kids, first one when I was 28. Its about trust, respect fir herself and her family and being sensible and the more you try and over control their lives, the less of this you will get.
If you don’t think she is mature enough than don’t let her. It is not anybody business how you raise your child. She has 1 more year to wait.
First she has no right to be this way towards you BUT with that said it is 2020. I graduated high school way back in 96. I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 16 and it was the worst thing my parents could’ve done. I snuck around behind their backs and it made me stick out like a sore thumb and my friends were all going out and dating before I was allowed to. They didn’t have time or room for me by the time I was allowed.
Your kids your rules:) I had my 1st boyfriend at 13 and we are still best friends to this day. We were together all of middle school but he unfortunatly moved right before high school which sucked. But we saw eachother at school, texted, spent the day at the campground once over summer, went on an official date to Harry Potter ans the Order of the Pheniox. Your kids your rules:) You do whats best for your family
I think 16 is very appropriate. Tell mil to shut up. She has no parenting rights. Sorry that was rude but honest. My children are not allowed to date until 16 either. U can’t drive, what’s the point? Seriously they r your kids and your choice. Your doing great.
You know if she’s ready or not. Let others opinion go in one ear and out the other. Its your daughter and you will have to deal with any consequences of letting her go out too young. Your choice!!
Dude my 17 and 13 yr olds dont even have phones and have to ask to use computer and are watched the whole time …its not over protective to keep your child safe
Is your MIL going to support a baby if your daughter gets pregnant? She needs to mind her own business. She raised her kids her way, you raise yours your way!
I don’t have kids of dating age yet. My parents let me start dating when I was 14, when I started high school and it was socially appropriate. There were restrictions until 16 like they dropped me off and picked me up most of the time. I had punishments if I broke curfew or general dating rules they set. I think to a point, kids need to make some dating choices and mistakes along with them. As a parent I am sure the dating thing is hard to accept, but try and trust your kid to make good choices. When they don’t make them learn from them.
Stick to your guns , it won’t hurt to wait one more year an maybe she will be mature enough by then… mil needs to keep her opinion to herself an not get in the middle
I was sixteen… my boy and girl were 16…but could go out on group/mix activities…and I don’t understand people interjecting their opinion on your parental decisions…especially on staying out of their business? Think as long as you have The Who, what, when, where and how covered…should be fine… maybe have the boy of the moment come over for dinner with the family…all kids are different…but rules are rules…just have to take a different approach…oh and forgot…no such thing as car dates…15 yo don’t drive…most 16 yo don’t either…mom or dad did the driving and picking up…and my ex would sit in the parking lot… 
that was his decision…
Oh mil needs to stay out of it even if you ask for her advice thats all it is if it does not work for you do what you an your husband think is right i assume mil is grandma
Mine was 16 too they didn’t like waiting & gave me all kinds of excuses why I should let them … I didn’t budge … they are currently 18 21 35 37 & 39 the all but the youngest has expressed their gratitude bc I made them wait & in the next couple of years I’m sure the youngest will also !!! So hold fast to the rule let he know she will soon be 16 …
I have two teenage sons 16 and 14 are rule is 16 and my 16 year old just started talking to girls and there cyber schooled through cca so I would tell your mother in law were the door is and they are your kids not hers
Your her mother it’s up to you and your husband. My parents did not let me date till I was 16 year’s old. It’s the best thing they could have done for me. Definitely have the sex talk with her before she ever starts dating. You mil has no business telling you and your husband how to parent or raise your daughter. Use your instincts, don’t let your guard down, and make your rules stick. Every child is different you must remember that also.
I don’t see the harm personally, you dont need to let the boy stay over. She’s going to ‘date’ whether you like it or not, if you support her decision, she’ll be less likely to come to any harmx
It’s your rules that she can date at 16. I wouldn’t change my rules for anyone. Your kid can wait 1 more year (even less than)
My daughter is 15 and I let her date one guy they have been together for a year. I don’t like that they go out at night because she doesn’t follow curfew. And I still haven’t met his mother. 
First yes you’re the parents so at the end of the day it’s still your decision. Maybe mil is trying bc if stuff the daughter has talked to her about. I myself if she’s gonna do it she will find a way, like inviting the boy to church, so maybe start giving her a little freedom like church date let them sit together, or a supervised date. Tell her you want her to be more responsible like you said, maybe motivate her a little. You don’t have to keep her locked away but you don’t have to be a carefree parent either, maybe find a nice middle name
My daughters had “boyfriends” at like age 12, BUT they definitely did NOT go out on dates or anything like that. They are 15 and 16 now and I chaperone their dates, I just give them their own space during the date, but still keep my eyes on them.
Tell your medaling mil to f**k off and mind her business. My oldest is 15, she had a boyfriend for the last year, but they broke up a week before Christmas. We allowed her to have a date with him early in their relationship, but it was a family date. His parents and siblings as well as ours went to the movies together. It’s your child please raise her your way. I believe you are doing a fine job.
Stick to your gun, tell mother in law mind her own business. My daughter is 15 and not dating. She knows the rules and understands.
You answered your own question. “Right now she is not” mature enough to handle it. Your words.
Every girl is different with maturity levels. She is your child do what you think is best. Stick to your gut and you do you.
My kids girls and boys couldn’t date until they were 16 now .but if they had a lil friend before that I would take them to the movies or dinner with the family they could come to the house .but never alone date until 16 .
Every kid is different. Some are mature at 16 others much later. Your kid. Make the rules that fit you and the kid.
You are the parent, it is your choice when your children are allowed to date. I do not feel that 16 is an unreasonable age to start dating.
Don’t tell MIL to kick rocks. She is being a overprotective grandma who means well. She loves you and her son, but she thinks she is protecting the best interest of the ( grand baby girl) She is just wrong lol. Grin and bear it to keep the peace. Remember she gave you that wonderful man you are married to and that broke her heart. Those babies repaired it. Moving on to your daughter. She has already proven she is not ready to date. You gave her a rule and she weezled her way around it. Violating your trust. So how could you trust her to date if she doesn’t have respect for you. And I would make it clear that is why you had considered changing the age for her, but she made it impossible for you to do that. In the future when you set rules you expect them to be respected or you will not be able to trust her out of your sight. I hope that helped. By the way I am a MIL I have 3 grown son’s. One of the son’s past away. But both the other two are happily married. One DIL loves me. The other never did no matter what I did for her or their family. 
But I love my kids and their families including their wives even the one that doesn’t like me. Because she makes my son happy. And their children are wonderful. So you do what you think is best for your family. But try not to judge grandma too harshly.
Stick to your guns unless you want to be grand parents already.
You know your children best. Raise them as you see fit.
Your mil needs to but out. I think 16 is reasonable in my opinion, but the only opinion that counts is yours and your husband’s. I’m sure there are many parents of hurt teens that wish they had followed their intuition rather than listen to people that are not the parent!
You are the parents. You need to raise them how you want to. I told my kids that education will be first and relationships will he second.
16 is perfectly fine. That’s when I was allowed to date and your other daughter. Mil need to mind her business and it sounds as if your going to have to embarrass her for her to see it.
I have a soon to be 19 year old son who my husband and I talked to him. We told him to not worry about dating while in school we explained how immature kids can be while at that age, we said that he can date after high school. He is now in auto school so I guess he is gonna wait till after he graduates
I started dating at 16 and so will my 14 year old daughter
I met my, now, husband at 15. It’s hard to know when to enforce certain rules. My daughter is 9 and I’m dreading the day when I have to make those tough calls. I think that as long as you have an OPEN, and I mean very open, line of communication, you can figure it out together. Your husband, you, and her. There’s no need for a middle man. Best of luck, momma!! 
I didn’t get a boyfriend until 16, and i still got pregnant at 17. Teenagers will do what they want to do regardless, you telling her she can’t date wouldn’t stop her anyway. kids will make these adult decisions when they choose, but just behind your back if you tell them no. Your mother in law seems like she’s not helping your daughter much anyway.
She is still a minor and is under your roof! You get to tell your daughter what to do! It’s not up to anyone else! PS I have boys, 13 and 17. They aren’t interested in dating at this time. Most teenage boys only want one thing anyway.
I dated at 15. My mom told the guy I was with (we dated for 3 years) that she has a shovel and a backyard 
but I was allowed to go out to dinner and movies just us two. When we would be at my moms we could go in my room but the door had to stay open. I feel that if you say no you can’t do that she may go behind your back and lie about where and what she is doing
My parents made me wait till I was 16. They bought me a promise ring that I would wait till I was married to have intercourse. I was fine with it. But I also had male friends that I would hang out with.
I think that, having set an age limit, you should stand by it. If you let it go, you’re sending the message that you will cave,given enough pushback.
She’s probably boy crazy because it isn’t allowed. I had my first “real” boyfriend at 14. We dated until 16. Then I dated another guy from 16-19. After we broke up, I started seeing my first BF again since we stayed close friends and had a very innocent relationship between 14-16 (kissing only). I continued to have serial monogamous relationships until I found my person just after turning 26. Now it’s 2 kids and almost 10 years later. Dating younger than 16 doesn’t have to be “risky”… honestly it’s more about the morals and character you raise your kids with. I think it’s better to have your kids keep their friends close to home… the parents I know that we’re the strictest had the kids who were having sex in random parking lots and sneaking out or went to college and had NO self control. One in particular “had” to transfer because she sept with sooo many guys 1st semester she got a reputation that embarrassed her and wanted to start over fresh.
If she isn’t mature enough but is going behind your back then maybe a small compromise. Allow group dates or chaperoned dates
We weren’t allowed to date until we were 16. I met my boyfriend just before school let out our freshman year. He came to my 16th birthday party. I married him when we were 19. In my opinion your 15 year old isn’t mature enough for dating at 16. But, they’re your daughters, you make the decisions for them, not your mil. She needs to mind her own business. Someone else mentioned birth control, I would definitely put the boy crazy daughter on it just for peace of mind.
Um is the mil gonna raise a baby? 15 is a great age to ease into dating but I would limit it. My 13 year old is boy crazy to and there’s no way I’d let her go out alone. Also until your kids are out of the house they have no business that needs to be stayed out of . . Also ypu not letting her go places with him was right thing means he was after one thing and couldn’t get it because you didn’t allow them to go out. Dating is a pto ledge not a right at that age. Yea kids need to experience life but they also need to know there are boundaries
I think 16 is a great age to let her date. I don’t think 15 and dating is appropriate. Idk I’m old school so that’s just me. There is really no rush. Boys come and go and she will date many through the years. She has plenty of time to find the right one
My first date was at 15 and he was 17. My mom drove us to pizza hut and sat outside then drove us to the movies and watched a different movie. It worked lol. 15 doesn’t need alone time with a boy. Maybe a few minutes at your house with the door open. That was how me ans my bf hung out typically.
She is 15 she has many more years to date set your rules and stick to them not your Mil
You’re doing a good job! 16 is a perfectly fine age for them to start dating. It’s ok to establish boundaries
Tell MIL to butt out. She showed her poor judgement just by blabbing about the breakup to the whole family. If you change your mind let them go places together where there is adult supervision. i.e. church group activities, etc. and you drop off and pick up.
Youns are the parents. Screw what anyone else says. With that said, I was living with my boyfriend at 16. However, I’m sure my situation was a little different. With my 14 year old me and my ex husband are not ready to let her date just yet but she talks and FT her significant other. We think she’s still a little immature for a real date just yet. She does know she can talk to me and her dad at any time about anything and everything and I believe she does come to me for everything.
I was 16 when i dated that was my parents rule for both me and my older brother
My girls will be 16, I was 16. Let the boys come over for dinner or go out with her as a family but no solo dates.
Yes. My friend wasn’t allowed to date til 16 and she became very sneaky and conniving because she knew her parents were against it. It got her in a lot of bad situations because she felt she couldn’t talk to her mom about it.
Ask your mil if she would be ok if her granddaughter was verbally and physically and emotionally abused bc that happened to my daughter and he was best friends brother 
. I noticed her and I couldn’t go shopping or do lunch without his controlling ways by phone calls and his trying to know and control what time we were leaving or coming back 
, thank God she left him bc he is still the same way with his wife now 
, final argument was him holding her in his apt. until she nutted him up and ripped his shirt off so she got control of her car keys from him 
Talk privately to your daughter about why your decisions are what they are and just explain that grandma sees things differently, but house rules our House rules.
I think 16 is a very good age for a young lady to start dating.
My daughter is 18 we told her that we had to know who what and where if she wanted to go she never did so she never did until she was 18 but the guy came to me to see if he could take her out rules still applied who what when since she still lives under my roof so mom just make sure that you meet the kid and his parents and put rules down and i even asked to see id and if he didn’t care to share his information then he could be a half way decent kid
You cant force teenagers to follow your rules, they live in their own little world… heres hopeing she doesnt go behind your backs, because thats when accidents can happen and she could end up pregnant… what works with one child does not always suit all your children good luck, hope you work it out…
I think 16 is a good age depending on the maturity of the child and if they understand the consequences of unprotected sex.
Continue being the Gestapo and protect your daughters at all costs. They are your sole responsibility until old enough to make responsible choices themselves, period… In the end they will respect you for the guidance and responsible parenting other wise know as love for them.
I honestly don’t think you’re wrong, plus they are YOUR kids so she has to step aside.
Not mil’s business! YOU are her parents and YOU know what is best for her! Do not cave to their pressure!!!
As always… do what you feel is best for your child…
The only input I have is this…
If you forbid something like this… they are gonna do it anyway, but because you forbid it… she won’t be likely to tell you about it… and in turn, may not come to you with issues from it…
But if you “allow” it, invite the boy over, let them spend time together in your presence, now you are not only opening the door for communication… but you can monitor their behavior around each other. See how each of them act and react to each other and offer guidance…
With my oldest step daughter we didn’t allow it, and she dated and then some anyway…
With the middle step daughter we “allowed” it with in our terms… if we saw something we didn’t like, we would pull her to the side and allow her the opportunity to correct the behavior… if it didn’t stop or change, we then would talk to both of them…
Again… you know your child and her needs better than anyone else… go with your gut…
I feel it’s not the grandmas business. In this day and age boyfriends at that age pressure you like crazy for sex and to basically make porn for them. I feel your rule is valid you don’t want to be a grandma too young and I’m sure you want your daughter to try getting an education or a trade after high school.
I don’t let my kids date… After school when they graduate… They can
We don’t allow our kids to have unsupervised dating until 17 and that’s only if they show they are capable of the maturity required to be safe. Between 15-16 they are learning to drive and maintain academics. Between 16-17 they need to develop their driving responsibilities while maintaining academics and appropriate behavior. If they can show they are responsible and safe at 17, then they are allowed to date as long as we meet the partner first and we approve.
We’ve caught a lot of crap because of the strictness of our rules but hubby and I are both cops so our kids occasionally find themselves targets and I refuse to stand by and allow them to be victims if I can prevent it.
You can always have someone double date with her … Set ground rules for the people going … Or you all could go
Yeah sounds like a busy-body MIL you have on your hands. I know you probably don’t want this to cause any type of problem with you MIL, but you or hubby need to sit her down for a little chat! I’m so glad I’ve stayed out of my sons (23 yes old) relationship bc I’m still very close to his baby momma, she even wants me to move to her property (her a current boyfriend have a lot of land) which I really wouldn’t mind bc my son treats me like crap! Anyway back to you, sorry, but tell hubby to have a serious talk with his mom…a serious talk.
I have parents allow their daughters to date at my restaurant. The parents sit in one room and the kids in another. I know parents that go to the movies and sit in the back. Its you’re kids!!! It’s no one else’s business!!! You do what you are comfortable with.
We did supervised dates when our daughter was in 9th-11th grade, traditional dating in 12th grade.
Your the parent, not anyone else do what you think is right screw others opinions, they not dealing with the consequences.
You Do What You 2 Think Is Best!! Believe Me They Will Appreciate It In The Long Run!!
16 is acceptable. I was 15 when I lost my V card because I thought I was “grown” enough to make the decision…
if only I was held to better standards.
You have to do what is right for your family. I dated seriously when I was 15 but I was very mature. I also drove to Charleston to see my boyfriend at the Citadel when I was 16. There is no way in hell I would let my boys date right now and they are 18 and 19. They are not mature enough to handle a dating situation. They will grow and mature but they aren’t ready now. We are criticized at times but it is our family and our rules.
First off tell your Mil to" stay out of your childs business "! And i was allowed to have a boy friend at 13 and go on dates at 16. We did the loop hole of going to church and stuff like that which wad ok since we were with a lot of people. Also allowed to have him come withvus places or to our house. Going out on dates and having a boyfriend is different.
You do as you see fir for the mental an maturity of your child screw what everyone else says they dont have to deal with the consequences
I have boys. I also had a rule, no dating until HS but my boys were very much into sports so they did not have much time for girls. Communication is key, talking about pregnancy is huge. I had that conversation with my boys. You make them, You raise them…My youngest is 18, so far no teen pregnancy. MIL needs to stay out of it. Boy friends, group get togethers, so many things she can do as a group, but NO dating with just him. Too young.
My daughter was 16 years old!! So tell your MIL that it really is your decision! 
Your MIL needs to step aside and let you be the parent. She had her turn to raise her kids & now it’s your responsibility to decide what is right or wrong with your girls
That’s about when I got my first bf of over 3 years…(longest relationship so far)… My parents didn’t let us ever hangout alone (that they knew if)… nor his… and my mom kept in touch with his mom… him and I are still good friends … Different paths of life … and he’s engaged and I couldn’t be happier for him. I can say that the more “leash” the more she will act out and disobey… I’d keep those guide lines in place of an adult has to be around just in case of sex and whatever for the most part… Give her the talk and those are stipulations on having a bf … It worked for me and if it was just about sex it wouldn’t have gone far 
… but ours wasn’t
Yes tell MIL to butt out or you will limit her relationship with your children if she keeps undermining your parenting
Just remind them why it’s important. Ie the value of ones self emotionally & sexually
Your the parent, you the law. stick by your rules. Your daughter has the rest of her life to meet boys and so on. Let her grow up. Tell the mother in law, she raised her children her way, and you are the boss to raise your children the way that you and your husband have decided.
Mil don’t always know what’s best. You know your kids better then they do. My bf got his highschool gf pregnant when she was 16. Both parties parents let them spend way to much inappropriate time together. My point is. You know what’s best for your family, for your kids. Think about your own actions and if you feel that your over restrictive.
No ones decision but yours. As for this household 16 was the age they could start dating. Our other reasons were school work once kids start focusing on dating they sometimes lose track of school work, being able to work was another cause they need to be able to afford dating. Plus once they start the dating scene they worry to much about this or that. I try to keep my kids their age as long as possible.
16 is the age to start dating but still have a curfew and rules.
U R the parents.
How most look at it as long as theyre in youre house you can teach them what a healthy relationship is and what to avoid. Its better than them being 19+ in college not knowning whats normal or not. As for your mother in law just give her a spoon of her own medicine, if she wants to say something like that say something similar back when she gets upset ask her why its ok to talk about a teenager like that but not an old lady who should know better
I think your mil is the bigger problem here…she needs to stay out of y’all business
I have always found it odd that kids not old enough to drive are dating…like how? I think 16 is fine and she is your daughter, not everyone else’s. Obviously kids are going to have boyfriends/girlfriends but being able to go out alone on dates younger than 16 seems irresponsible to me. The thing is though its a personal preference. If that is what you are comfortable with than that’s what you go with. She is 15…she can wait another year.
Your child your rules and I agree . You know your child and the level of maturity . If she tends to be irresponsible I would be saying no also . Its a privilege not a right as long as you pay her bills and she lives under your roof .
None of your MIL’s business!!! Do what you think is right for your family!
All 3 of my daughters were 16 before they started dating. That age seemed to work for us.
Stick to your guns or you might be raising your grand child.
16 is early enough for a 1:1 date. Group dating bowling, movies, etc. teaches them a lot.
My kids couldn’t date till they were 16 .
As for age of child that’s what her parents decided not the in laws
Um your mom in law isn’t their parents and should mind her business…
As for the 15 year old being boy crazy it could be a faze if not letting her date won’t change that …
Don’t let her be with the MIL who will undermine you and let her see boys behind your back.