Should I let my kids claim my boyfriend as their dad?

What do you do when you have kids with an absent dad and tho you’ve never pushed for your partner to replace yours kids dad the kids are now expressing/demanding your partner be their dad? Do you just let it happen? So you explain (even tho they know) that’s not your dad but he will always be here for you? Kids age 8&10

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Don’t stress it. No need to push that on your kids or your boyfriend. If he’s just your boyfriend why would that even be a thought?

Question… are you just shacking up or are you building a family? Answer that and you will know what to do.

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He may not be their “father” but if he’s stepped into the role he is absolutely a Dad. If he is comfortable with it and the kids view him as such why wouldn’t you let the bond take that next step and allow them to call him Dad?

My older son calls has called his younger brother’s dad, dad since he was two (before we even had little brother). I’m no longer with the dad but he still calls him dad and my ex still treats him like his and spends time with both boys.

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Yes that just shows you how much they respect him and how good of a job he’s doing with your kids there is nothing wrong with it as long as your not pushing it on them I don’t see a problem with it .

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Talk to your partner first and make sure that he’s okay with it. That if he bonds with them like that, he’ll have to stay their dad. They’ve already been abandoned by their father, they don’t need it to happen twice.
If he’s okay with it, and your kids are comfortable and loving him like he’s their dad, let it happen.

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I think it depends on how long you have been together honestly. If this is a “newer” relationship then I would not allow my kids to call him dad until you have been together longer and definitely see a long term commitment with him. If you two have been together for a while and he’s your person then I would be fine with it.

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Their feelings should definitely be know…and it sounds like u got a good man

My “step” dad came into my life when I was 6 or 7 and I’ve called him dad for as long as I can remember. My mom just let it happen on its own. My bio dad was still around. I was seeing him at least every other weekend. It just shows that your kids are comfortable with him and feel safe. I’d say let it happen on its own time. Especially since they know he’s not their bio dad

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When I met my partner, I never expected my oldest to call him dad. He came to me asking if he could. I said it was ok with me but he had to ask my partner cuz it would be up to him if he wants to take that roll on. I also warned my partner that my oldest was starting to question it and that he may come talk to my partner about it. He appreciated that. Nothing was done. 6 months later my son came to me and asked again if he could call my partner dad. Again I said it was something he needed to ask him himself. He eventually did. And has been calling him dad ever since.

Let them I say talk to your so but IV always let my kids figure it out themselves my older 2 call my husband richy but do acknowledge him as step dad :person_shrugging: they call my step dad grandpa my step dad been in my life since I was 11 and my husband been in my kids life 8 years my oldest is 13

Id let the kids and your bf work that out as well as I would talk to your partner about how it makes him feel about it .

Honestly that all depends on how long y’all have been together… are y’all wanting a future together? Does he even want kids? Does he have kids?
My dad was in a relationship with a woman for years they got engaged and I called her mom gosh when I knew it was the right time and the right feeling for myself……I would never let my kids call another person dad unless they were committed to my kids and my family for a very very long time. When they know and feel he is going to stay then let it happen when they want it to happen. Don’t ever push them.

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Just let it happen naturally they are old enough to know what’s going on I was the child in this situation and my step dad is my daddy still to this day nobody can change that

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Honestly if the child decides to call him dad I would talk to my significant other and make sure he’s ready for that role. My husband had two babies prior and an absent mom. So when they chose to call me mom I was ready. If me and my husband decided to call it quits together or not I will always be their momma. :heart:

My older kids were 5 , 8 and 9 , when I got with my now husband , I was pregnant with my youngest, the older kids asked if they could call him dad, I asked him , he said he would be honored to be called dad by them
And that’s the way it’s been for over 20 years . Their bio dad was absent most of time

Definitely need more info. New boyfriend? Absolutely not. Been together a long time, as long as boyfriend is ok with it. Since it sounds like bonding has already started, just have a open honest conversation with the boyfriend about your thoughts (good and bad). My husband is not my son’s bio dad…but he’s been around pretty much since day 1. To both my son and my husband, my son is his son. He’s 15 though.

The bonding appears to have already happened, your job as their parent is to make sure that he (or anyone else) in close proximity to your children is psychologically “potty trained” and safe

My daughter has called her step dad, daddy since she was 5.
He’s her daddy still, she’s 20 years old. If he earned the title from their viewpoint, let him have it

have a conversation with your bf about how would he feel if the kids called him dad and go from there. he knew it was a package deal and seems like the kids are comfortable with him . if they want to call him dad and the bf is ok with it then do it.

If it happens organically than nothing wrong with it. It’s when it’s force its a problem. Big high five to the man who stepped up. Step parents are important.

I think that theyre old enough to understand the whole thing and if you guys have been together for a decent amount of time i wouldnt see an issue.

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Not their dad??? Do they live with him? Does he provide for them, support them, guide them, love them? If so he IS their dad. The other guy is just their sperm donor.

Kids aren’t stupid,give them credit they know how they feel

It depends on yours relationship, it’s great that you are not pushing the situation , but they are old enough to understand that he is not their father.

If you guys break up they will feel abandoned for a second time.

What does your partner think and how does he feel about it?

Absolutely not until they committed to marrow

Is he a good candidate as a dad?