Need to leave but have NOTHING

I’m 25 & a mom of 2 under the age of 3. My bf (their father) is a huge a**hole and always acts like I’m the problem. If I’m too tired to have sex, it’s “fuckin bitch” “cunt” “fuck you bitch” so sometimes I’ll just do it to avoid his anger. If we get into an argument about something as simple as the dishes, he’ll turn it into personal attacks on me, calling me the usual “bitch” and saying he doesn’t even like me and doesn’t want to be with me.
If the kids are loud he will tell them to “shut the F up” and just things that you should NEVER say to children. When I defend my kids, he’ll say things like “I hate all of you!, I don’t even want to be here, I don’t even want to be with you, you ruined my life” he’ll tell me he can do so much better than me and that his exes treated him so much better than I do… and tell me no one will ever want me with the way I act. I never go anywhere and if I do, I have to bring the baby because he can’t deal with him crying. My sister came to visit out of state and wanted to go have drinks together and when I asked him he said “yeah I want you to go so I can realize how bad I don’t want to be with you! Go be a whore!” I feel like a really bad mom for keeping the kids in this situation. Some days he’s okay and is sweet to the kids and other days, you have to tip toe around him. I would leave but I’ve been a stay home mom for 4 yrs and he “wipes my ass” he does pay the bills which I know can’t be easy. He saved up a bunch of money and hasn’t been working for the last couple months. He’s been out hunting all day with his buddy and when he’s home is playing Xbox and being pissed off all day. I miss when he was working because the kids and I, had much more peaceful days. I don’t have a car, don’t have a bank account, don’t have a working phone (works with WiFi) and I have absolutely no money and nothing at all. I’ve taken the kids to stay with my mom but she seemed to get easily stressed with them and it was just miserable for the kids and I because we have no car to get out. I feel like no decent man is ever going to want to be with me because I have two kids and I’m not as pretty as I was when I met him. Im just a gross looking mom who has nothing. I really need advice, have any of you been where I am and gotten out? I feel so trapped and miserable. Please don’t judge me, I know this is not good for the babies but I don’t know what to do! :frowning:

First, you are not gross you are a beautiful mother who is taking care of her children, i suggest you try to stay either with your mom or sister please, your bf won’t change he may change if he went working again