My toddler has been having issues at preschool: Advice?

My 3 year old has been hitting and kicking at pre school…mostly other kids but sometimes the teacher…what can I do? I cannot afford for him to be kicked out


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My toddler has been having issues at preschool: Advice?

Spankings worked wonders back in my day. Ijs…

EDIT: I gave my advice. You don’t have to agree, and I’m not here to debate. If you want to argue, just go ahead and hit that block button…


I would highly recommend getting a professional evaluation done.


This isn’t uncommon at this age, especially among only children. Practice sharing at home. Start with parallel play. That’s when two kids sit together but each play with different toys. State the ground rules ahead of time, so the two kids know what to expect. Be around to mitigate conflict, but don’t hover too much.

You can rehearse this in advance by being the second “kid” yourself.

It’s also possible they’re struggling with sharing attention. 1:1 attention is very different from being in a class. Fun fact: mothers spend more 1:1 time with their kids today than they did during the 1950s. Kids don’t need all of the doting we give them. Sometimes less is more. Let them play with toys on their own or look through a picture book.

Lastly, talk with the preschool teacher and ask for tips. She’ll be glad you did.


Set guidelines and follow thru with punishment. I used the 1 2 3 your out. It worked great. Even thru high school. You. Are the parent. Not the child. Teach them


There is a series of books to read with your child. They start with “Hands are not for Hitting” I found them to be very useful when my kids were little…

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My son is going through the exact same thing we are already almost 2 months into school and he is warming up to it and settling down. Thankfully his teachers have been patient with him cause I did let them know that this was his first go around and he’s never been around kids he’s always been home with myself and his baby sister. I also did explain to them that he understands and if fully aware of what he is doing because he is very smart. My son is 3 and knows his colors numbers letters etc and he knows right from wrong.

But however they have play therapy for him and it’s helped him a lot with interacting with other kids and how to control emotions and how to express emotions etc. so that has helped him a lot.

Don’t get discouraged mama it’s just a faze they go through cause they aren’t use to being without their moms. Everything will get better

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He is communicating in a way he knows gets attention. Not great but it’s what he knows works. Teach him what big feelings are. Ask are you mad? Are you sad? And instead of kicking teach him to tell you. At 3, they can work on it. Reward him when he tells you his feelings, even if it is frustrating. Read lots of books. I really like shy spaghetti excited eggs and How I feel. Those 2 books my daycare kids will actually listen to and it helps. I have all under 4 years old and it’s one of those things they just have to figure out how to communicate

If they can’t get him to stop I would get the child evaluated and get him/her into early intervention. While it’s common, there are some kids that just go beyond what daycares are responsible for


I would see why he is hitting and kicking others. Ask him how it makes him feel and tell him it hurts others when he does that. Then set a punishment and follow through with it.

You need to see why he is doing it the daycare and not at home.

Eventually your child will hit or bite the wrong kid, who will in turn, retaliate by striking back. Someone bit my daughter in pre school. (35+ years ago) My daughter instinctively bit her back. Left nasty marks on her cheek That girl never tried to bite anyone in that class again.

Why. Call the teacher and have a nice discussion about …why. Yes , she will know although she may not say. He could be getting bullied and is trying to defend himself. Some teachers do. I had several do that. But if it is your child doing the bullying I would look into therapy. Talk to your child as well. Find out what’s going on before you go to the teacher. Let him know that this will be a time of no punishment if he tells you the truth. You just need to know what’s happening so you can help in either way. Pray with him as well. Maybe find a church family. It helps. God bless.

Following my 5 year old does the same thing at daycare

Following… going through the same thing

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He might not be Ready for school. You need to find out why? Go observe the class, talk with teacher, child, if it continues you maybe looking ar their future school behavoir.

Take him have a old fashion discusdion. 3 ur olds know

Look into a behavioral therapist before it gets worse. You don’t want him labeled a bully.


Start teaching your child better behavior and if it doesn’t stop get your child evaluated to see if they have an issue

Talk to the school about a *504 for the kid.

They dont understand hitting hurts unless they’ve been hit. Pop his hand when he hits and say. “That hurts”

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Soft ass generation. It seems like each generation wants to protest spanking, however each generation gets more disrespectful.

POV Behavior Specialist here (specifically works with aggressive elementary children).

At this age, they have a split second between emotion and action. Hitting is an instinct in their fight or flight, I would start by teaching them there are “good ways” to get the mad out and “bad ways” to get the mad out. Hurting people is clearly always a bad way.

There should absolutely be consequences at home any time they hit another student or teacher. Preferably not spankings. Doesn’t really make sense to say “hitting is bad, but it’s ok when it happens to you.”

There should also be praise for letting their “mad out in a good way”.

See if you can start by letting them hit a pillow. Work with the teacher, maybe send some to school. Eventually moving towards squeezing balls, taking themselves to a quiet place, scribbling on a paper, etc.

If it continues, have them evaluated by a specialist. The schools (public) will also have a behavior specialist.

Time out, and put in the corner.

Consistent Discipline with follow through

Have him evaluated for autism. HFA is super common and over looked. He may be dealing with sensory issues