My sons grandma gave him soda against my wishes...advice?

Yesterday I tell my sons grandma he can’t have pop for the simple fact that he’s 2… today she has to watch him bc I work and she posts a photo of him on facebook drinking a soda…what can I do about this…She doesnt respect me at all

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Yea maybe disrespectful but also thats what grandparents do ilmao

I would consider bigger battles. :woman_shrugging:
Is your child loved by his grandparents?! Do they want to be involved in his life, is he well taken care of?! If so, a bit of soda should be the least of your concerns. Grandparents wont be here long, but your kids will forever cherish all the memories spent with them♥️

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That’s what grandmas do and grandparents it is what makes them special!

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All the comments of “it’s just soda” “grandmas will do whatever they want”…
Grandma still needs to respect MOMS rules. Period. It’s not a debate. It’s disrespectful.

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Gramas are like children themselves when it comes to spoiling toddlers. It used to bother me when my son was small that his Grampa spoiled him so hard. Today he’s a teen and I look back at my actions and think :thought_balloon: WHAT a stupid thing to be upset about.

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Only thing you can do is find someone else to watch him.

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She has to have him??? …Nooo she doesn’t…
She has him to help you out… A bit of soda now and then won’t hurt… As the saying goes …what happens at grans stays at grans… If your not happy …get someone else to watch him x

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You are lucky to have family to watch him…he’s still alive ain’t he !! :blush::england:

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I used to get mad when my mom let my babies taste something when they were little but now I wish I could go back and enjoy the moment. Because now I have a 3 month old that doesn’t get spoiled by nana. Talk to her and give her your concerns on soda and also make sure it was actually soda my mom emptied a can and put water in it so my kids would think they had soda

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Stop complaining and find different childcare :woman_shrugging:t2: grandparents do what they want when they know it isn’t going to harm the child.

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Grandmothers will always spoil kids . If you don’t accept that get someone else to watch him :woman_shrugging:t5:

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How about relax it’s not the end of the world she didn’t give him drugs how about let her be a grandma

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As a grandma myself I respect my daughter in laws wishes - it builds trust and I get to see my grandbabby a lot. If she didn’t trust me I would miss out. Even today when he was hungry I showed mom what I had and asked her ok. To me it’s respect. I had issues with my mom when my boys were little - we use to argue - she finally listened to me and realized I was right and from then on my kids loved her.

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That is what grandparents do, they love to spoil the grands. She raised her kids if you feel she sucked as a parent then pay for daycare.

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I would be thankful that he has a grandma and that she has anything to do with him. What I would give for my children to have a grandma and her to give them soda! Cherish it for real! :heart:

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Either pay for a sitter or daycare or get over a little bit of soda with grandma. It’s your choice.

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You have 3 choices but one likely is pointless.
1 have a more stern talk with grandma telling her that you want your choices respected.
2 accept that grandma is standardly synonymous with special treats/“spoiling” and it’s really not worth getting upset about. Allow them both that special bond as it won’t last forever.
3 find someone else that you’ll likely actually have to pay to watch your little one and HOPE they follow your wishes. Not likely but you’ll also not know because they won’t tell you or post on social media.

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if you want someone to follow your rules then find an outside babysitter. grandparents will ALWAYS spoil a child . who’s to say the soda wasn’t just sittin in front of him? let me remind you child care is expensive as hell.

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Bring over what you want him to drink. No 2 year old should be having soda. She should respect your wishes. Looks like she is doing it on purpose.

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Grandparents literally do what they want :joy::woman_facepalming:t3: I feel you! (I bake my mom with her bringing a good bit of junk food every time she watching my 1 yr old and 4yr old) I would try to talk to her again just let her know your trying to keep healthy habits for your kid and it’s not good for their teeth ect ect. You could also supervise the visits or let her know you will if she can’t follow your wishes for your child’s health. Or accept it as long as it doesn’t get out of hand… I keep on my mom hanf the time and she has been doing better that I knew of :joy:

Be glad she watches him and loves him. This is not the end of the world, please pick your battles wisely.

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My aunt did this on my sons second birthday. She had him less than hour. She made him drink soda, eat candy, ice cream cake etc. He got sick. She NEVER was alone with my son after that. Only reason she ever saw him was because of my mom. After my mom died I ridded myself & son from her. She has never met my younger kids. Soda was just a part of her disrespect of me & my child.

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Honestly, I understand 100% how you feel but I also think that maybe you should give her a bit of a break.
I would definitely tell her how you feel about the situation and let her know that you feel disrespected. At one point in time I might have felt disrespected and ignored as well.
However, I think it’s kind of a given that grandparents tend to spoil a lot and likely give in to more snacks, drinks, and essentially “junk” than we would. Hell, my mom loved her children immensely but we definitely didn’t get all of the stuff my children get from her.
I would be upset if it’s happening daily or over more serious issues but at the end of the day you’re not going to stop a spoiling grandparent who seam to be wrapped around our children’s fingers and honestly, idk why you would want to.
Take a deep breath and ponder the situation a bit more. Express your feelings but also keep in mind grandma’s side of things. You never know!! Someday you might be that adoring grandma who just wants to spoil her grandchild.

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What does it hurt a drink of soda once in a while

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She doesn’t HAVE to do anything. You sound so freaking entitled. No one owes you free babysitting especially when they’ve raised their kids already. Be grateful that you have someone that helps you. You could be stuck with no one to watch or love your kids.

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People act like this is no big deal but it is. She blatantly disrespected you as a parent!! And it starts with pop and then will continue to escalate.

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I would be upset too, a 2 year definitely shouldn’t be drinking soda smh I would simply say “I do not want my son to be drinking pop and I want you to respect that. There is no reason why he needs to be drinking a soda with 60 grams of sugar at 2 years old.” Unfortunately if she watches him u can’t control what she gives him. So u either hv to put up with the disrespect or find someone else to watch him.

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Either get another person to watch them or accept that she’s going to give them soda. There really isn’t much you can do. You can try and talk to her and explain why and explain how it bothered you that she didn’t do what you wanted. But sadly those two things are really your only options

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I personally say let grandma be grandma and you be thankful you have her help. Some people would kill to have help from any family and don’t have it. A little soda isn’t going to hurt anyone. Pick your battles :woman_shrugging: just sounds like this is such a minimal silly complaint I’m sorry

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This child is loved. That’s what matters. She is not doing anything harmful and she does not have him all the time. Moms need to relax and be thankful you don’t have to worry about your child when they are good hands.

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I’m going to be the devils advocate and ask if that was for sure soda? Was he holding a can? If the child was holding the can was it open? Was grandma just being goofy taking a picture? The reason I ask is 1) if it was for sure soda was it more water than soda? You can just put a drop in the cup and fill it with water especially if the child was wanting to be like grandma. 2) if you told grandma that the child can’t have soda maybe they picked up grandma’s off a table and it wasn’t even open yet but grandma thought it was cute and snapped a pic. 3) if you’re so offended that she didn’t listen to your wishes find somebody else to watch your child.

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Depends. Is she being the spoiling grandma or Is the child dietetic/ allergic? Most likely not medical, hence the post.

She is spoiling, let her be grandma. Your child will have the sweet memories of being with her and getting spoiled a bit. My ex MIL gave my boys cake for breakfast on their 5th birthday. Would I, their mother, do the same? No. But it’s a memory they still talk about 13 years later. When she passed away 6 years ago, it was that and many more stories we talked about that kept her memory alive and helped them get through the loss. To me, she was being grandma. No harm, but a memory my boys will tell their kids some day.

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Find someone who will respect your wishes.

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OK simply she doesn’t have to watch YOUR son. Sounds like she is doing YOU a favor. It’s not the end of the world she gave your son a little pop. It’s not going to hurt him. Gheeze. Find another sitter if it’s that big of a deal.

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Eeek. That’s a hard spot to be in. Ultimately if she doesn’t stop, you are going to have to do what’s best for the child.

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I’m all about the “Grandma will spoil them”, but to me, that was a TOTAL SHOUT OUT of “kiss my ass”.

Pick your battles! It won’t hurt him!

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The way I take it is you asked her not to and she posted a picture of him with the soda in his hand for a reason. To get under your skin. Kind of like a “I can do what I want” move. Grandparents are supposed to spoil yes, to an extent. If the parents ask you not to do something you should simply respect their wishes.

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Well grandma is probably watching him out of the goodness of her heart for free or nearly nothing. If you want to set all the rules pay for a daycare. Everyone knows grandma’s spoil kids. It’s kinda in the job description. You have the right to set rules for your child but grandma has the right to say hey I don’t like those rules and if you don’t like it take him elsewhere. My grandma and mama spoiled my kids but I let it happen… if I didn’t like it I’d pay a professional . If you don’t like the grandma services provided don’t leave your child with her alone and pay real daycare prices where employees are trained in the up to date information on child rearing.:woman_shrugging:t2:

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Stop letting her spend time with him unsupervised if you don’t like the way she cares for him. Pretty simple. I don’t know what magic advice you think you’ll find. You can’t control anyone but yourself

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find another sitter. that is your child and you have made a choice on his eating habbits and i too do not let my children drink pop. my son is 7 and HATES it because he was never givin any and didnt even have juice until 2/3. my daughter was 2 when she was givin pop without me being asked and i see the difference. If someone who is caring for your child isnt going to respect your rules for your child they dont get unsupervised access. a daycare would respect your wishes.

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I would have a conversation with her for sure
Having too much soda at a young age like that I can impact, bone development, and health
 Every once in a while, it’s fine for over two years old but that’s every once in a while I wouldn’t be giving it every day. It’s some thing you need to have a conversation and tell her if she can’t listen and follow rules I’m gonna find somebody else.

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Unpopular opinion: but you need to pick your battles. pay a babysitter who will listen, or let family help that has their own parenting guidelines. It stinks I know I had this same argument with my own mother, but I trust her with my whole heart and know she would never put my son in harms way. So it’s a matter of what you’re willing to give and take on. If you don’t like it that much don’t completely cut her off spend time together when you’re there to supervise but if you want ALL you rules followed pay someone who will be accountable.

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Just out of curiosity… Was the soda in a cup or a can/bottle? Now I ask this because the pic itself could have been staged to get under your skin if she disrespects you as much as you think she does or she posted a dummy can/bottle because she feels that you don’t trust her parenting skills so she purposely posted to egg you on. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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I have 3 kids and 2 are legally disabled. I finally had to put my foot down with my mother and grandmother that if they didn’t start respecting my rules and boundaries, then they couldn’t see my kids until they could. It stopped that entitlement very quickly. Just because she is the grandmother doesn’t give her the right to throw your rules and boundaries out the window. Stand up for yourself and your child.

Tell her you will be finding someone else to watch him cos she is not respecting your boundaries.

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I fought with my mom tooth and nail over my oldest who’s now 10 about everything lol HES MY KID !!! now with my 2 yr old and 6mnth old I couldn’t care less how she spoils those kids . For one it caused so much tension between me and her just for the kid to turn out perfectly fine ( except the fact he likes to be under her way more ) let her have it . More time with the babies less time bothering you.

Be thankful you have a mom in your life and he has a grandmother in his life. Look at the big picture. Don’t let petty things ruin a lifetime of memories to be made…

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Sometimes I give my grandkids something mom and dad don’t approve of but I try to do it in moderation and respect for the parents diets for their children.

My mom passed away long before my children came. I would love for her to have been able to be in their lives.

Pick your battles… be grateful she is willing to watch them.
Then have an honest chat w her about why you feel so strongly about it. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I think its a mother in law shes got issues with her and she looks for a reason to fight because if its your mother you would say my mom spoil my son or child not my sons grandmother . Its all about mother in law show her my grandchild back off

Lol. Get used to it if you’re going to have grandma continue to watch your child. That’s what grandma’s do. Did your child even like the taste? My kids can’t stand anything with carbonation.
Be careful how you approach talking to her about this. You don’t want to burn your bridges with a FREE babysitter.

Your child. You have every reason to be mad! Find someone another sitter

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Don’t have her watch him anymore. She doesn’t respect what you tell her so you either have to let it go or don’t let her watch him anymore and find someone else to watch him.

The best advice I ever got was “they grow up regardless of your worries” . Pick your battles and don’t fret the small the small stuff.

Find somebody else to watch your son. The grandmother obviously isn’t interested in the boundaries you set for your child.

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Well if she doesn’t respect you stop allowing her to watch him seems simple enough

For all the people saying, that’s what Grandparents do and blah blah blah, NO. It’s extremely disrespectful and if that child gets sick from all the soda, candy, etc it’s the PARENTS who have to deal with the sick child at home and not the Grandparents… So please tell me again how it’s fair to disrespect the parents wishes just because they should “very grateful the Grandparents are in the child’s life…” :woman_facepalming:

If it was a sip of soda that’s one thing. An entire can or cup is another. A sip is something you can talk about an entire can or cup is just blatant disregard for what you asked.

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I wonder how all u moms siding with grandma would like it if u clearly stated u didn’t want ur child to have or do something and someone blatantly let them and then posted it on fb almost rubbing it in ur face…I for one damn sure wouldn’t put up with it nor let my child back around thst person alone. That’s a good way for a child to get seriously hurt or sick if they happen to have an allergy to something. When it comes to children their parents word is law. It doesn’t matter if someone has different rules in their house. When I watch other ppls kids and they tell me their kids aren’t allowed to have something or can’t do something then they don’t get it or do it.

Pick your battles. But also, you have every right to remind your mother or mother in law that she had her chance to parent children, and this is your chance to parent your child, and she either needs to obey by your rules. Were you don’t want to pump your child full of caffeine, or else she will be on a six month sabbatical away from her grandchild. You have to set the boundaries while they’re young. These grandparents need to realize yes, they can spoil the child to a certain degree but when a parent asks or tells you not to do a particular thing, don’t do it. Be respectful… everyone wants to preach about. Oh, the Bible says you must obey and have respect for and honor your mother and father, BS! If they don’t have it for me as a child’s parent, then I don’t have any for them. If the grandparents cannot act right then they don’t get visitation.  and they absolutely never have the right to tell your child not to listen to you. Trying to pull the well they may be your mother, but I’m their mother. That shhh don’t fly either. 

Grandma shouldn’t be such a disrespecting A$$…have a talk w her…

I did not let my kids drink soda until they were in their mid-teens. If they were at a party where soda was the beverage on offer, I let that slide; but as a general rule they didn’t get it. Luckily, most of the adults in the family respected my wishes. Kids don’t need soda in the diet during the years when their bones and brains are developing–they need milk, water, and a little orange juice. Bottom line, it’s your child and you have the right to make those choice

I’d sit down tell her do not do that I’m strict on soda in my house my in law did same gave my child a sip when he was a toddler I told her don’t do that pleas we don’t want our kids hooked on soda and Suger he’s 6 almost 7 and still no soda and my kids drink water happily we have a water machine and go throu a 5 gallon jug a week

Get a at home job and never allow her to watch him without you again

If you don’t like it, find other care for your child

Inform her …shes giving you no choice to find another sitter…Keep in mind tho…if it was just a sip…N its her house…

I was like this, but after having 3 kids, more things in the world to be more pissed off about. My 2 younger kids look at all the coffee cups and drink drink the last few sips, my youngest drinks all the last sips out cans and bottles. My mum was giving my girls sips of coke from their 1st birthdays, yes I hated the fact of it but my mum raised me and I feel safe leaving my kids in her care when I need time away from them

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Honestly it happens…just talk with her again and let ur child know also that soda is not allowed for kids🤭

Stop letting grandma have kid until grandma can respect you.
They are out of hand.

Get a sitter. She has shown you your word does not matter, when it comes to what she does with your child.

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They either do what you ask or don’t get left there with them. I don’t believe in giving kids soda. Look for someone more responsible to watch your son. Luckily he doesn’t have allergies

Tell her your son it’s allowed to have an iPad.

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Take him to a daycare and pay someone to do things your way. She didn’t “have” to watch him so you could work, she elected to.:woman_shrugging:

We all parent different. If your unhappy with care someone else should watch him. Daycare is pretty strict on diet. Try them?

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You don’t have to leave hom with her you know. Find childcare that will follow your wishes.

its not about what it is…its the disrespect of your boundries

Your his mother she should listen to you, she shouldn’t disrespect you, xx

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Take a water bottle with him and healthy snacks he likes.

That’s what grandma’s do. We spoil the kids. How much did she give him? A sip or two, no biggie more than that’s a no-no… maybe she did it to mess with you, like haha see what I did kinda of joke… talk calmly and ask about the picture…

Pay for daycare , you get what you pay for. or deal with grandma being grandma.

Could it be possible that your son’s other parent told grandma it was ok to give soda to your child?

Don’t let her watch him anymore

Find alternative babysitter

Pay to put him in daycare.

Bring allowed drinks with you to grandma’s when he’s being watched.

Deal with it or find another sitter. It’s just soda.

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I’d be pissed. The fact she posted it on fb as well. Childish she needs to be put in her place.

It’s literally a soda. Do you know how many kids and/ or parents would be grateful for an active grandparent . Reevaluate your priorities

Maybe find another babysitter. Problem solved.

Only few things you can do:
Speak with her and let her know that you’re serious about this and then give it another try.
Ignore it.
Stop letting her watch the child if she refuses to listen to your rules and respect you.

If you don’t like what she does and thinks she doesn’t like you nor respect your rules, how far is she willing to go? Is it truly just ‘I’m gramma, I can spoil them’ or out of spite?

In the end up to you on what you’re willing to turn a blind eye to. Find a different baby sitter if you don’t like it or trust her.

If she doesn’t respect you as the mother of the child she should NOT be watching your son period….
Find a babysitter and problem solve

Don’t let him over there🤷🏽‍♀️

All these people saying it won’t hurt have never seen the rotting teeth and poor health of today’s children :woozy_face::woman_facepalming:t2:

Hire a babysitter that adheres to your dietary rules.

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She wouldn’t be seeing him

You’re in for a surprise when you learn the difference between feeling disrespected and being disrespected and most of our anger comes from within ourselves, you may want to control everything he does but a sip of soda at 2 is in no way a danger to him. I’d save the “what do I do” dilemma for a real issue

Give her a print out of how all that sugar is not good for her grandchild.

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Who cares Lol I’m a grandmother and give my grandchildren whatever they want and I don’t give a crap what their mother’s say Lmao