I don’t think ADHD is something to just assume! It sounds like behavior issues more than anything and that’s apparent from this child having the ability to behave appropriately when not in the home! Yelling is a reaction to bad behavior, maybe try a different approach, like communicating with him on a level he can understand! Sounds like a cry for attention and affection! I’m not a doctor, just a Mom, Grandma, and Great Grandma! Prayers you can find answers!
I use to work as a behavioral therapist. Obviously I can not diagnose. I do not know much about your child. Make sure he’s getting enough sleep. I suggest limiting the tv and ipad to about an HR a day.(especially keep him away from high flashing tv shows) another thing would be to watch out for red dyes in foods. Try practicing impulse control games with him. (There’s many good sites for this) Obviously these just help with the behavior and not what is causing the behavior.
Take the iPad away for a while. That’s what I have to do with my 4 year old.
Have you had him tested for ADHD and autism.?
When my son was evaluated for ADHD, one of the first things they look at is whether the behavior is consistent in different settings. If it’s ADHD, he isn’t going to be able to just turn it off at school. And a psychiatrist will probably decide it isn’t ADHD in that case.
It sounds like some sibling rivalry and maybe feeling kinda lost in the middle with two other kids. Not saying you don’t give him attention, and I know it’s hard to carve out time for each child individually when you have multiple, but I think doing that would do wonders for your boy. Also, if he’s screaming bloody murder every time the tablet gets taken away, take that as a sign that he’s too dependent on it. Set a strict routine on when he gets to use the iPad for a short period of time and don’t cave or steer away from it. He will get use to it and it won’t be such a battle every time.
Whatever is going on with your little, I hope you’re able to get answers and help for both of you.
Hugs to you, I know it’s hard and can get so discouraging.
The adults in the kids life must all be on the same team dealing with this horrible behaviour, I have seen this so many times, when the parents are giving in just to get the kid to stop they are the ones making the behaviour stay longer!!!
All must be on the same team always focusing on the united punishments for behaviour adjustment
My son was like that hes 6 now diagnosed with autism and add or adhd I cant member possible bipolar disorder will be diagnosed in the future. When he’s angry he does this thing jow where he yells hulk smash and growls and its better than his throwing stuff. When he dont wanna go to bed he likes to throw things at me only now and then he’s way better than hr was. I would try therapy
Was he given iPad to keep him quiet?? Check diet to see if allergic to something!!!
My daughter was like this, we struggled at home, EVERYTHING was a battle. I asked her 4k teacher if she had any issues… nope. Asked her kindergarten teacher if she had any issues… nope. Then finally her 1st grade teacher said something during PT conferences & I could have hugged her. Finally somebody else seen what we had been dealing with at home. I called our pediatrician as soon as I walked out of that conference & got in a couple days later. After some paperwork & him talking with both me & her teacher she was diagnosed with ADHD & the medicine is a night & day difference for her! My kids get very little screen time, they spend most their time outside weather permitting so that wasn’t as issue like some are suggesting but it could be! Otherwise I also agree with others to watch his diet, I’ve cut so much out of her diet, especially dyes & I can tell when she goes to grandmas or somewhere & has to much crap.
Have you tried talking to him and asking about it? Giving him a save environment emotionally to open up in? My two year old was hitting my twins and they’re only 7 months now. But we talked about why she can’t hit them and I’ve had to calm down no yelling, no harsh punishments. Idk it might not work for everyone because Hazel is pretty unique but she’s wild and it’s helped to just treat her like I would want to be treated
If this was kid I would have already giving him a whooping I don’t play:rofl: kid sounds spoiled not a disease
Slap his arse. That,s what was done in the old days. Spare the rod and spoil the child. Show him who,s boss.
I’m not a doctor but it sounds like ADHD is a possibility. What you’re describing sounds a lot like my son at that age; they have no understanding of cause and effect. They know right from wrong but have trouble controlling impulses. I’d suggest getting him tested and see what they say, mine ended up having ADHD and depression-which we later found out that depression in kids can manifest as aggression. We chose the medicstion route and counseling, it has been a huge help for him. Don’t let these negative comments on here bring you down, you know what’s best for your kiddo!
You need to have consistent follow through and set consequences.
ODD is usually caused by not being consistent
Take him to see a doctor.
My son was the same and I got him into therapy. He is ADHD he no longer hurts ppl for no reason but his anger issues
Get some parenting classes, hes clearly struggling and taking things away and yelling at a child who can probably not even tie his shoes WILL NOT HELP
Remove ALL dyes from his diet…especially RED DYE 40!! (Any red dye actually)
In some children dyes can cause serious behavior problems, been there. Eliminating helps a lot, there are still some issues but counseling will help.
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I would use a lot of positive feedback towards your child, when he does something good make sure you call it out. Try to get family time if possible. Definitely see a Dr or neurologist. Karate classes might help very structured. Keep your child in a routine structured environment.
Sounds more like ODD than ADHD. 4 years old with an iPad? Not judging but maybe that’s partly the problem.
ADHD is severely overdiagnosed. Actual disorders such as ADHD cannot just be turned on and off. If he is only misbehaving at home but he is fine at school and everywhere else, the issue is behavioral. Getting him to behavior therapy should help.
But at 4 wait to get him tested
Yelling is the least effective form of parenting. Yelling also escalates his emotions and when you lose control, he doesn’t feel safe
It’s important to note that kids will act the worst where they are most comfortable because they feel safe. I’d say check diet and search out more constructive activities than an iPad. Try to diffuse the situation rather than yelling everytime.
Natural consequences are better than “big” consequences, in my opinion. “If you are mean to your sister, you won’t be able to play with the kids outside today” is better and less astronomical of a consequence to taking away a tablet (could be how he decompresses/copes with negative feelings, so losing it triggers his big reaction) In the “real world” he won’t be losing his tablet as a consequence. It’s not liable, it doesn’t really teach kids any lessons. Try to switch up the dynamic of your son and yours relationship. Get back on the same team, let him know you support and love him. Maybe get a behavioral eval. But first, I would try finding the root cause of his behavior, especially if it’s relatively new behavior. Bullies at school? Did you move recently? Any divorce or separations? New siblings? Need more info. Change is hard on kids. Especially when they feel like their big emotions are too much to handle. I really would try to limit/stop yelling, you can definitely work on that. Try to provide some calm to his chaos— not add to it.
after you take his Ipad BUST HIS ASS that is what it is for
I recommend Positive Parenting Solutions
Each child is different you have to approach him differently
My son was just like this when he was younger! Started at about 2 yrs old. At 4 yrs old he was diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, O.D.D. and bipolar. He has been on medication since and he is so much more pleasant and well behaved. He started pn quanfacine but then was switched to adderall. Which actually helps with all 4 of his diagnoses. doesn’t hurt to have your child assessed!
Sounds like Adhd to me. My son is 6 and was diagnosed at 2 and a half. Had same issues but for the most part has grown out of his violent stage
Sounds like a lack of a good azz whoopen
My now 15 year old was like that as a young child got him tested and he had it 100% percent put him on meds and he was a totally different child he was an angel he is now off the meds and doing great he was always good with school work and sports also helped just at home he was like a Tasmanian devil his older brother also has adhd but the symptoms were very different And I have it too I was told it runs in the family
I don’t know what his diet is but I know my son acted up at that age. His doctor told me to stay away from anything with red dye and artificial cheese flavoring
Get him away from food dyes asap.
Why would a four year old have an iPad? He should be learning how to play. How to develop interactions with others. Mom you need to put your iPad down and interact with your children.
I would suggest getting a psychiatric referral from your pediatrician ASAP, get him assessed, and hopefully, it’s help for all of you.
Check his IPad to see if he has any violent games.
If he eats alot of sugar things made with white flower could be making him hyper. Is his dad involved in his life? My son was like that I tried meany diffreant ave.with him that didn’t work he was 3. The meds they give children can effect them when they get older I ended up taking him to a chirpactor and that was a God sent blessing made a 100% diffrance in my child he was never put on meds of any kind.
If he is fine at school I say he is having to much screen time
Look into ODD, PAD and ADHD. Or a combination. A lot of children with the conditions mask at school and “act out” at home because you are their safe space. Look into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and the Time in Program you can get for at home.
Since when can a child just turn off ADHD when they choose? I highly doubt that’s the issue
Taking the iPad is only a start. What else can you do? Is he getting positive attention as well at home? Have you sat him down and talked about what is going on? The fact that his behavior is only consistently sour at home says he does know when it’s going to fly and when it won’t. Kids with disorders can’t turn it off.
He is 4. Take his iPad away completely and start doing stuff with him. Involve him your day to day tasks, not screen time. An do some one on one stuff with him.
Strip out his room get it padded and lock him in it with a mattress 2 or 3 pillows and a cover that way his angers let out on them if he hits you again do it back it’s the only way he’s gonna learn until you at least find out what’s causing it I’m gonna hate for this but I couldn’t give a fuck
Why does he have an iPad if this is a constant issue?
Studies show diet can effect behavior, especially in children.
Cutting dyes, especially red & yellow, gluten & overly processed foods have made a huge difference in tests.
Don’t yell use a quite time out. Time out bu age 4 years 4 min. When he has sat quietly for 4 min then you get down on his eye level and explain what he did wrong and tell him tou live him. Hug it out and go. You could try like mini can of Mt Dew. Most likely if it is adhd that will Mello him out a bit. You can try to cut out red dyes and don’t give sugary snacks.
My son saw a therapist since 4 for odd. Electronics made it worse so we took tablets away altogether and limited tv time.
Odd question, does he consume any dyes? Unnatural Dyes effect behavior, red 40, induces Anger & ADHD like symptoms.
I’m sorry but why does he have an iPad?
Sounds like he is left for it to babysit him instead of patenting. He’s a toddler.
My daughter just turned 4yrs old and is currently in the process of seeing if she has autism plus we think she has a sensory disorder. Shes considered non verbal, she has only spoken a few words and is in speech therapy. When shes mad, she will either hit herself or objects/furniture. She has hit us in the past. What works for us is “CALMLY” sitting her down and talking to her. Explaining that hitting isnt nice. To do nice touches by showing her light touches on her hands or arms. And when that doesnt work we usually take her tablet away, turn her tv off and have her stay in her room until she calms down. And if she comes out we just redirect her back to her room and calmly explain to her that she has to lay in bed or sit in her chair until she isnt mad anymore. Sometimes her being overstimulated makes her act out. Sometimes even just hugging my daughter while rocking back an forth helps her to calm down
I had a really hard time with my son when he was 4. He didn’t end up being diagnosed with adhd when he was 6 but before I got him diagnosed there was a lot that I had to do to help his behavior. First. Stop yelling. Yelling helps NOTHING except get him to act out further. This isn’t something you can learn to do on your own, especially when you’re overwhelmed. You need to learn how to incorporate gentle parenting, and taking time to spend with your kids even if it’s for 10 mins at a time per kid every couple hours (no electronics, no distractions). It’s really hard at first, especially when it’s something new to you but in time you’ll see the change. There are other ways to discipline, and you need to find ways that work for your family. Good luck momma.
Personally I don’t think he needs an iPad??? Maybe once in awhile but I hate to say it but kind of sounds like thats his “emotional support thing”
Odd dmdd autism they all come to mind have him checked out by a child psychologists
Get another opion maybe 2
Oh an the tablet should be a treat for doing good not a normal everyday thing!
It’s a choice for him if he is not that way for all. Sounds like he needs to play ball outside. Get dirty and jump in mud puddles. My five year old got grounded off of his usual after dinner tv episode last night. (Being rude to his sister) He protested. For two minutes and decided to set up all his dinosaurs in the living room and have a war between them. Kiddos need to burn that energy. Yeah I believe my kiddo has some level of adhd, but as long as he is able to make the right choices and understand why he is having privileges taken away, no need for dr intervention. My kids never get electronics (phone) until the age of twelve. It’s a personal decision. Kids need to be kids and have snowball fights and have to change clothes five times a day because they are dirty or wet from playing OUTSIDE.
Sounds like it could dmdd.
Sounds like ADD ADHD ODD something in that nature jealousy of other child why he wants to hurt her or throw stuff try dividing attention
It could be ADHD … was he tested for that? He also could be bored so he acts out for attention…
I refuse to give my children I pads like that. It’s a privilege not a way to control emotions
Sounds like ODD my son had this was violent towards us. He had to see a a child psychiatrist and was put on something. He did grow out of it. Get him tested
My son has ODD we have good days and bad days but you will learn the control methods yes struggles will happen but just keep correcting the behavior and explain to his level the consequences and time outs. Sometimes us parents are in the heat of the moment and can get rowdy and not realize it until afterwards but just apologize for the rowdyness and explain how you feel and just ask him what’s causing you to be upset? Kids at that age including my child can be hard to put their feelings into words so they act out on their frustration.
If hes good at school and a terror at home…that is manipulative behavior and he needs counseling. And well honestly just hope he can or wants to be helped…
Taking it away is not enough time out in corners for a start then some kids are head strong so when he does wrong do not give in it will get worse every time
Have a boy they said… it would be fun they said… not.
Ur looking at ODD… Optional Defiant Disorder maybe with a bit of ADHD. You need to have him rechecked… Honey i dealt with this for yrs. It will only get worse… Get him into some counseling. And so they can help him set boundaries of knowing his space and Etc. Also if you can find you a good MST therapist for yourself they will help you learn how to correct him with his behavior. Had one with my son and she was great. Good Luck Momma
Where’s his father ?
For one, don’t give him back an ipad, he doesn’t need one and especially not if he acts like that.
I have to tell you he needs to be seen and diagnosed. He has behavioral problems and sometimes it’s stress anxiety ocd depression. In my family we have Autism did we think it was that ? No but now we understand and try to help out family anyway we can
If hes good at school but not at home then hes pushing your buttons. Personally id see him outside running around playing with you and his siblings rather than sitting with an ipad. They need quiet time before bed of course but at those ages they need to be burning off energy . Lock away the electronic gadgets and get them involved with games they can all play together so they build a strong relationship. Discipline needs to be fair and consistent whatever you choose to do and the child must be reprimanded immediately so they know why they are being punished.
Get him into a doctor/psych consult asap. Something is going on that he doesn’t know how to deal with so he’s taking it out in a violent way and he’s going to need help to learn how to deal with it in a productive and safe way. It’s tough, I know, my youngest has ASD and didn’t speak until he was 4 so he would throw fits and get angry because he couldn’t communicate. It’s so hard to watch them struggle. Also, try not to yell, it rarely gets you anywhere with kids. It’s much more productive to lower your voice, get to their level and talk calmly about what you expect of them.
Have him evaluated for ADHD? Sounds like it.
Young one - sounds like he may be demonstrating frustration- ADHD ,ADD, or SLD(Specific Learning disability)- you might get his vision and hearing checked. This will help but you need to talk with your school- What you might start with - is- why he doesn’t want to go to school- it may take a bit - (but listen to him - he will tell you)ask him how was his day was - what made him happy - sad- mad - etc. I’ve had a career in SPED - observation, listening, communication-are our three special tools. You have the complete advantage at this point - he is your child - you know him- start keeping notes for yourself and later down the road.
Another thing - teachers always say a student is fine - if they follow along- especially if they have 1 instructor to 20 students (or more)ratio. Unless the grades are low.
There’s a good chance (in my opinion) that it could be ODD, ADHD, or both. My daughter was diagnosed with ODD when she was 4, and then ADHD at 5. She’s never been violent directly at other people, but when she gets in her “rage state” she will lose her ever-loving mind in her room. Throwing things, knocking stuff over, screaming, crying, the whole 9 yards. I would also recommend finding a good child therapist to see if that helps. My daughter has been in therapy on and off since she was 4!
He’s young to be diagnosed but bring him to your dr or therapist and get a referral for adhd. I struggled for years with this with my twins. Always thinking I did wrong because I was always disciplining them. It’s most likely not his fault and he needs his momma more than ever right now. Hang in there
Sounds like a passive/agressive behaviour…he need a pysic eval…he is a danger to others.
Hummm if he acts fine at school but only bad at home it’s not a disorder stop trying to label it. Lack of discipline needs a time out
Possible Emotional disability
It’s tough because he’s behaving at school. That’s where majority of support would come from but still have him evaluated
My students reverse it most of the time. Behaves at home but not at school
A 4 year old shouldn’t have an iPad, but that’s likely beside the point.
You need to get him evaluated immediately. Family therapy and individual therapy for him. He also needs physical activity daily. Play games outside. Go swimming. Also, is he in preschool? If not, the structured environment could really help him. He needs to learn that the world doesn’t revolve around him (as every 4 year old tends to believe).
It’s sounds like a bigger issue than just the iPad, but I would ditch it all together. When my kid is on the iPad a lot, she has a very short temper and I notice more behavioral problems than when she plays with toys or reads.
If he is ok at school then he more likely has behavioral issues. Why does a 4 year old need an iPad ? This kid could cause big problems for your other kids by hitting them. Could cause serious damage emotionally and physically. Get him to a psychiatrist. My nephew was like that when he was really young. He ended up getting mad at people when he didn’t get his way and ended up killing somebody
My brother did this. He was diagnosed with ADHD and Tourette’s syndrome at age 4. It is never too young to have him evaluated and start therapy or whatever else he may need.
Who the he’ll gives a 4 year old and IPAD,?
Bust his ass and set him in a corner
ADHD… His behavior is probably due to impulsiveness and overstimulation. He needs to learn tactics to calm himself. Sometimes sensory items… Touch toys, music, even a personal trampoline, to sometimes can help. I would try to see if you could find someone who specializes in that area can help you find the right path… Good luck
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A 4 year old should only have a tablet for 3 hours a day
If your child acts bad
TAKE AWAY anything fun .He will change
My kid was acting out for a while… and then I tried spending more time with him. I think he was feeling a little left out because baby brother was taking up more time than he was.
Maybe try giving him some one on one mommy time and see if that helps. Maybe he’s doing it for attention even if it’s negative attention.
First, get him on a good vitamin supplement. His little brain may be lacking some minerals that are needed to help him develop. Second, stop yelling. That only teaches him that yelling is how you communicate with others. Third, use time-outs for punishment, not withdrawal of toys. Of course, he should not be allowed to use his iPad during time-outs. Fourth, give this little guy some love and attention. He may respond in kind. Good luck.
And take him to s good doctor.
Sounds like my son maybe ODD or RAD
Sounds like ODD
Get him evaluated for adhd/dmdd or bipolar possibly. If he does those things it may not be purely in his full control, so trying to reason coryell or punish during times of deregulation is a waste of energy because they cant process a thing that’s being said until they are calm and regulated. Ot and BT will be helpful, meds arent always the answer and without the proper diagnosis he wont be on the right treatment.
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Karate or some type of marshal arts that teaches control
ADHD all the way!!! My son did the same till he was put on medication to help! It’s been years and is still on them. It takes time but definitely have him evaluated for Add and adhd
My son is 14 and adhd and odd… He’s doing exactly what your son is doing… It has come down a little bit… I’m still trying to figure it out…
No more tablet. At all. Check his diet. Do engaging activities
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My son was also diagnosed for adhd and we began treating with medication and now he’s a completely different kid. He’s passing school and able to sit and do homework. He’s not WOWED out everyday. Still picks on his little sister but life if definitely soo much easier since we got him help.