My sisters boyfriend flushed her meds, what can I do?

My sister just told me that her boyfriend flushed her antidepressants a month ago and told her to take some sort of supplement instead. She has been taking the supplements because, in her words, “he flushed my medication so I didn’t have a choice”. Is there something I can do?? Is this illegal?? I take similar medication and I know how dangerous it can be to stop taking them abruptly. She has been with this guy on and off for 10 years and they have a 1 and 2 year old together. He works on naval ships overseas so he’s gone most of the year, and thankfully he just left last week for a few months. They have a history of pushing/shoving each other but other than that no physical abuse that I know of. But this last time he’s been home he’s been very verbally and emotionally abusive towards her and I can’t stand it. He is also very verbally abusive to my nephews and hits (more than just a spank) my 2 year old nephew when he’s “naughty”. She has been a mess the last month and now I finally know why.

I am happily married with 2 babies, but she is the only other family I have. Our dad passed away when we were 17 and 19 and our mom has never really treated us the best and thinks we should worship the ground our partners walk on.
I can’t lose her. She assured that she was calling her doctor first thing in the morning to get more of her medication but I wish there was something I could do for her. She has always been the stronger one growing up and has always defended me and had my back, but I don’t know what I can do. I have never seen her like this before. She has always been one to do things her own way and nobody could tell her different. He’s got her so beat down and it’s so hard seeing her this way. Please help.

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She has a few months to breathe and get her thoughts striaght, she needs help and a lot of courage, but she has to leave and start the process of getting her life sorted and custody on her kids, she has custody by law, but she has to make sure they don’t have to go to their dad often as to not suffer abuse, good luck to you 2, you will have hardships together, but she can do it!!!

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My sisters boyfriend flushed her meds, what can I do? - Mamas Uncut

She needs to find the strength to leave. She also needs to call her doctor.

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She needs to call her doctor and tell them that he flushed them and needs her meds

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She needs to contact his chain of command asap. He needs to be held accountable for what he is doing.

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Oh ya, totally illegal. If she’s ready to leave y’all should call the cops.

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Definitely call her doctor stopping depression meds can be serious! With all the other things she is going though with her husband this could end bad. She needs so seek help right away.

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I know it’s way easier sad then done…hopefully she will get away from him! Prayers for u and ur fam

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She needs to call her doctor and tell her/him what happened so she can get her meds, and take her boys and leave. It’s dangerous to stop medication cold turkey.

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Just leave your current relationship, get your new medication, be honest and life will be better for you, like these girls said below it’s a lot easier to tell the truth about what happened, he seemed angry with you threw out the meds, I would leave him while he’s away you don’t even have to explain you’re leaving to him and you can block his number and get a new place without him

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Not sure where you live but she should be able to go to her pharmacy and they can give her some until she can see her doctor.

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Maybe talk her into going to counseling??? This is an extremely toxic relationship. She needs out. But unfortunately only she can make that choice.

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She should leave him. Maybe offer her help to leave or a place for her and her kids to stay for a while.

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If she needs someone to talk to who’s been there I always have an ear and would love to help her

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She needs to call her doctor and call his chain of command that is not ok.

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She needs to contact his chain of command person and let them know he needs to be held responsible for what he’s doing. And also she needs to grab kids n go

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You litteraly need to move her and the kids into your home. Like call off work, arrange babysitter, go get her

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She can press charges, but she had to do it.
She needs to leave.

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If he is in the Military he needs to be reported. They don’t allow spousal or child abuse.
But if not she still needs her meds and to move on.

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Please help your sis to escape this relationship. Most towns have battered women’s services and even if she can’t go to a shelter the can counsel her or offer support groups. She can try to get new meds from the pharmacy or if not call her doctor.

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She needs to contact his supervisor at work they won’t tolerate that shit

She needs to make sure he comes home to an empty house. What is stopping her from leaving?

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Not only she needs counseling. But she needs to prepare to leave him. He’s controlling and that leads to hitting her. He’s already hitting the innocent children teach them to hit or except being hit. This will escalate. She has u as a family member to help in her escaping. But its not goin to get better. And it’s better to leave now b4 the violence elevates. For her and the children. Omg I’m gonna pray for her. Because I’ve been there and done that and it never gets better.

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This is abuse …tell her to get out . And he better get on some meds himself

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Ignore if this is to much, but I ask my husbands advice on some things that are posted and he always gives outside of the box thoughts. Here is what he said: I wonder if he plans on doing something to the kids or to her but make it look like she did it. Make it seem like she is unstable and unsafe and he can take the kids. Or something horrible. It has to be illegal that he flushed it since he has no rights to that medicine he’s not a doc and has no rights to what the doc says she needs to take”it kind of made sense to me what he said if your sister talks to her doctor make sure she tells him what the boyfriend has done and did. Get it documented so if God forbid something happens, she has proof that he was involved

I wish I knew how to help better, but she definitely needs to get out. I hope you can encourage her to leave❤️

If he’s hitting the child, I’d call cps first of all. Especially if it’s not just a little spank. Other than that, you really can’t force her to do anything. It’ll be her choice. If he’s hitting your sister too, I’d call the cops. Also maybe try reporting him to his commanding officer, but I’d be afraid they’d suspend him and he’d be home more then. Maybe talk to her about leaving while he’s gone. It’ll be easier for her to get out while he’s not there

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I’d say first she needs to speak to her Doctor about her medication. She should not just quit them , one has to be weaned off of them. Also, she could probably get help for her physician on how to handle the situation and be referred to a therapist.

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They need a counselor to stop his behavior and get into anger management classes if she wants to stay and make it work or leave if she doesn’t.

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If its been a month since hes flushed them then she should be able to get more. If hes treating her amd them kids like that she needs to leave that non man alone!

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Get her to the pharmacy ASAP and get more pills. It’s extremely dangerous to cold turkey meds like that - no joke. Have her call her doctor and be honest about the situation, they can help.

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She needs to leave him while he’s gone. But it has to be her choice. I’ve been there, it took me 5 years to leave. She needs your support, but needs to make the decision.

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She needs to leave before it’s too late, especially for the kids. They can’t defend themselves and have no choice,she has to do that. Sending prayers. :pray:

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Call the police, make a report on what he did and then the insurance will refill her medication and she can get right in the head again. That’s the only way she can get her meds before the next refill date. Take her to the emergency room and she will be able to get the ball rolling by telling them her boyfriend flushed her pills. They are mandated reporters and will call the cops to make the report.

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Get some advice from a DV organisation and then support her to recognise that this is domestic and child abuse. It is very likely that he is hitting her and she just hasn’t admitted it to you.

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She can call her doc and have them call in a refill. She needs a new man.

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Call the doctor, explain what happened and get a refill. And dump him

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All you call can do is be there for her and let her know she has options and a safe place to go when she’s ready.

News flash…pushing ans shoving IS physical abuse… you cant help thosr that wonr help themselves. She has to WANT the help and do it herself. You just offer support.

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That should be illegal and it’s definitely messed up she needs to leave him

I really hope she gets out!!!

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Have a frank discussion with her about your concerns. It’s dangerous to stop taking meds, especially with small children involved. If he’s hitting the child call CPS immediately. Two is way too young to be smacked and it’s abuse. Prayers for you.

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Pushing and shoving is abuse. He’s abusing her and the kids. Mentally and physically.

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Why is she still with him If he hitting the kids I be away the minute he wasn’t there get out before it’s to late

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Have her call her doctor

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Reach out to a women’s shelter and give her the info and they can help her leave and start over.

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She needs to wake up and leave him.

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Call Dr.get a refill

Sounds like she needs to call her dr and have her prescription refilled. She also needs to leave the guy. There are resources to help woman in these situations. Her and kids need to get out but she has to want to save herself because if she doesn’t then no one else can help her. As for kids if she won’t help herself and kids then the best thing you can do for them is call social services. They need to be safe. Get everyone out before the monster comes home! Possibly even a restraining order.

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Oh shit. That won’t work. Get them refilled asap and report it to the police.

She needs to report it to her doc. That is literally abuse

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I’d call the police IMMEDIATELY

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That is abuse she needs to get away from him

Help her leave before he gets back

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….call the doctor, set up an appt and get more?

So much is wrong with this. For one denying a person their prescribed medication is medical abuse. He is verbally and sounds like physically abusive. And emotional abuse is far worse than physical in my opinion because it effects the psyche and can take years to a lifetime to recover from. It leave long lasting traumas. She is probably really feel into depression and understandably. She needs your support now more than ever. She does need to leave him. But on average it takes women 5-7 attempts to stay gone from an abusive relationship. She’s gonna need a lot of support and help. Hugs to you both and Thankyou for being supportive and wanting to help

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Call the police and ur dr. Don’t think he will refill until due date??? Abuse

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She needs to leave that controlling freak

Doctor’s will refill antidepressants and anxiety meds if lost. Make an appointment and let them know about the abusive relationship so it’s on paper.

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She must have Repeats on her prescription tell her to go get new ones if it past a Month

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That is illegal! Call the police!

She has the ability to abandon him…and she should!

You need to have a very serious discussion with her.
Now that he’s gone, she has the opportunity to change the locks, have him legally evicted, and get a protection order for her and the children. Do the evict last so he wont know till last min.
Go to court and get emergency custody of those children and request anger management and and parenting class because he has shown to be dangerous to her and the kids.
Make Sure she gets any witnesses to his violent behavior, copy any texts and email of threaths, or any mention of flushimg her meds. That’s illegall.

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Time for her to pack up and leave while he’s gone.

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His house or hers ?
Take her to the Dr and explain whats happening…go in with her for support…get a lawyer …either pack his bags or hers. She needs out now for her sake and the safety of her children. This behaviour will only get worse.
If he has ptsd he can get therapy through his work I assume and perhaps in time they can be a family again…but right now its safety first

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Maybe he is the reason she is going thru what she is going thru. I suggest she get rid of the problem and start working on a solution… Leave him and start a better life. What he did should be the answer to her beginning of her end … I myself believe in natural healing of mind n self . Meditation… Taking these drugs is like drugs on the streets…

She needs to disappear before he gets back.

She needs to call her doctor and tell them what happened. Most likely they won’t refill it as it’s against the rules of pharmaceutical companies and whatever but she can at least try. Do try and find some natural ways to help with depression, I know its here say about that, vitamins b12, coq10 is amazing. Eating right, getting walks in, maybe do some kinda painting class or whatever at home together like a YouTube tutorial, stuff like that. Movie nights together. I know you have kids so get them together have some sister time.

She can let the one who prescribed them know and they will put out a new order. I had to donot when I lost my birth control. And that’s abuse but I’m sure she’s not going to leave him. He will probably do it again since he knows he has power over her.

She needs to either leave with her babies or kick him out. The babies don’t deserve this!! They are innocent lil babies. Call the police on him. He can’t flush them. Or get a ppo on him.

I say whoop his ass like a crazy person and after tell him if you had your proper medications he wouldn’t be in physical pain right now

Well if he flushed them a month ago she can get refills. As far as the abuse their isn’t much you can do until she is ready to make the change. Tell her to hide the pills if she is worried and wants to take them.

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She needs to get away from him. He is over seas help her get away. What he is doing is abuse. Call her doctor and see if you can get in to see them, explain every thing you just did. You being there the doctor may help you with a new script. Please get her out of that situation. He doesn’t care about her well being at all.

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As long as it’s not a narcotic she can get them replaced although she’s probably going to have to pay outta pocket on them unless it’s time to renew them. I suggest trying too have a serious conversation with her and try to help her realize the gravity and reality of her situation and get her out of there ASAP! Have her file for sole custody and child support. And leave!

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Pack. Up. And. Leave go. To. A dv shelter most. Of. Them. R. Nice. That’s. Bull. Shit you. Liveing. Like this.

I went off antidepressants cold turkey due to no insurance when my husband lost his job. I felt as if I were waking from a long sleep. All of a sudden I could think clearer and see that it was dealing with problems in the past wrong. I felt regret that I had allowed them to cloud my mind. It was like the sun was coming out from a cloudy sky. I think her going off them nay help the situation and give her the courage to seek help. Maybe you can give her hope and a hand out to her to leave him. I have an encyclopedia of vitamins it was left here in the house when we lost our home. It says that vitamin D3 keeps you from depression. My husband was talking of killing himself when I read it. So I started him on 2 a day. A few weeks later and he started apologizing for talking that way and that he was feeling better. I was amazed that a vitamin could turn him around so much. Maybe it could help. I know she’s not talking like that but,it is a good supplement and I’m thinking when he comes back she can let him know she is using that for it. I’m worried if he sees the medicine again he may beat her. Many prayers for y’all. God bless.

Take her and your nephews in if you can, get her out of that situation. If he hits the 2 year there’s no doubt he’ll hit the 1 year old and her if he isn’t already. My therapist told me if they’re verbally/emotionally abusive they WILL become physical. It’s just a matter of when.

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That is jail time. I’d turn him in. She’ll have to more than likely see her doctor and tell them what happened as well.

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If he is absusing the children you 100 percent need to report that. Protect those babies.

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You said he works on naval ships, if he’s in the Navy could she ask for help from his superior? In the Army my ex had a 1st Sergeant, not sure what it would be in the Navy. But I would imagine if he’s in the military they could get counseling on post, her husband may need some encouragement. If not, she should find civilian couples therapy services.

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Have a talk with her about your concerns. Unfortunately that’s about all you can do. You can’t force her to leave him, she needs to want to leave him.

Find her a good divorce lawyer.

If that’s the case she will need to file a police report to take to me her doctor and hope that the doctor refills them

Former military wife here. And I’m not one to usually say this, but she should get his command involved. If he won’t act right in his own. His command will make him.

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If it’s been a month she can just get them refilled.

Have her call the head of command on the base.
And the Dr as well police throwing away anyone’s meds is mental/ medical abuse highly frowned upon.

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Google narcissist and sociopath. I bet he’s one. Mine turned out to be and we were married 29 years, I believed everything he said, especially when he verbally assaulted me and our 4 kids…he chose one he liked to hit but to this day still denies it. He was military also, gives an arrogant air. He is always right and she is always wrong and bad or stupid. Try to get her to leave him. Report your findings to his superior. Those meds flushed and hes gone and she’s left alone, depressed and that puts everyone in danger…because of one dirtbags action! Can you find her a therapist to speak with???

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Go to an attorney. Try to get a court ruling that he can’t touch her meds. If he does he goes to jail. What he did is against the law I think.

She needs to get away from him

I know what it’s like to be beaten down to the point where everything seems so hopeless. It gets to feeling where it’s easier to wish for it to just be over already. She needs help and support and I think it’s amazing that you’re looking for resources to do just that. Be her rock💪 Good luck💕

Hope he falls off the ship and washes out to sea? Get her out of the situation while hes gone. Get her on her meds. If hes abusing the kids, hes doing it to her too. Can guarantee it because hes trying to make her lose her mind.

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You can’t help her if she doesn’t want out of the situation. Especially if she knows he’s abusing her children and not doing anything about it….

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Tread lightly. Try not to talk about her husband its already stressfull. Thankfully he is gone for now. Just be there for her the best you are able. Maybe she should keep her meds in her car when he is home.

She can get a refill and claim that she lost them. She’s making excuses at this point.

She needs to report this to someone, if someone else reports the abuse of the children she could lose the kids to social services. If she reports it aleast they could do something to him .

Him hitting their child the way you make it sound like he does should be plenty enough reason to get out. She’s the one who has to make that call to protect her child, as the child can’t.

If he is hitting the kids like that then most likely he is hitting her to and she is hiding it. Can her and the kids move in with you? Maybe she can get a job and save up so she can leave him.

If he’s in the Navy file report with his command

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I’m so sorry :pensive: this has to be super hard on her. It sounds scary but you should get the police involved. That’s totally illegal for him to flush her meds. They will open an investigation on it. You sound like a pretty great sister so I would just keep on loving her and being her support system. She’ll need you :heart: don’t be afraid to remind her just how much she means to you as often as you want. She has 2 sweet babies that need her :heart: