My sister in law falsely called CPS on me: Am I wrong for not wanting to be around her?

Life is so short------and I mean that in that life is way to short to let anyone cause you harm. I am a social worker who used to work with CPS. One time, I removed a baby from the hospital and I sobbed while they were cutting the bracelets from the mom and the baby. The nurse mentioned that I was more upset than the actual mother—but the issue was that the baby started screaming the further away she got from her Mom. So when I read how the sister in law called CPS (and seemingly the family accepts that), I have to think about how that “Aunt” wanted her niece or nephew to be taken away from the parents. She wanted her niece and nephew to be laying in a crib in a stranger’s home screaming and wondering where his or her mother and father was. When people show you they do not love you, believe them. In my book, that “Aunt” does not deserve a relationship with any of them. And I am all about working out problems in marriages, but for me, that is non-negotiable. If my husband did not feel the same way as me on that, then he can start sleeping on his beloved “sister in laws” couch.

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I’d go and have a wonderful time with my husband and kids and show her she can’t ruin anything. Take the high road and just ignore her and enjoy your time.

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Lotsa folks on here saying let it go. And if it were just a personal attack on you id say the same thing. But this woman went after u kids. You are right not to want be around her.forgive her yes create opportunitirs for her to hurt ur family? No. They need to understand this was an attack on your family. That is an unforgettable act in my mind

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I agree with everyone here. Especially Angel. She took the words from my fingertips. If I were in your shoes, I’d be having a serious talk with my husband. If that is how he really feels you married a jester and you need to drop him and find a king. In my marriage me & my husband put each other first. That’s how it should be. To hell with any family that comes between.

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I wouldn’t go and neither would my child. Your husband needs to understand what damage could have been done. In my eyes messing with the well-being of my child is unforgivable.

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I wouldn’t go, & I’d tell my husband to kiss my a**. Your feelings matter, the way you were treated matters. If your husband feels otherwise, then he needs to go & play king of the mountain elsewhere.

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Go, and laugh, be positive and kill her with kindness. No revenge is sweeter than her seeing you and your husband happy, and still together. Trust me, if you don’t go, she will think she got to you. Instead, prove to her she doesn’t matter in your life or happiness. Plus your husband and mil will be happy.

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The best revenge is for you to show your happiness. Show you no longer allow people to live in your head rent free. I will say though I would take a huge issue with my husband if he told me my feeling and emotions did not matter. That’s a conversation that needs addressing. But as far as the party you have to feel comfortable. I personally could go to that party have a great time and never even know that she’s in the area code much less the room. But that’s me when I cut someone out of my life for my own sanity they are gone out of site out of mind and my life is most all the time bliss. You be you and live your happy.

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I wouldn’t go, nor would I let my child anywhere near her. She is a danger to you and your family.

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If your child is going I would go to make sure she’s safe. Have a great time with the children . Make sure you have it out with your husband. He is wrong.

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No, you’re not wrong!! Not only would I not go…neither would my child. You and this lady didn’t have a disagreement, she went after the well being of your child…that’s a huge no-no!! Stay far away from people who do not have your or your family’s best interests at heart. Your husband should be just as upset and understand how you feel!

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There is a verse in the bible leave and cleave. You leave mom and dad and cleave to your spouse. Do not walk, run! Do not set your child and yourself up for this to be done again. Stand your ground. It should be about your child and your husband should see that. It is not about him.

My mil and brother in law did the same thing. We have nothing to do with them whatsoever at this point due to the fact that they have no remorse. So to me that means they would do it again. This goes on your permanent record. Can affect adoption, custody proceedings later, and just of things that they just don’t take into account.

Take the higher road and go. Distance yourself from her at the gathering. Hold your head up high as you did nothing wrong. Don’t give her the control she may be looking for. Talk with your MIL and husband before the party and have a plan in case she needs to be removed by acting out. Don’t let her prior behavior dictate your future happiness.

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I understand you not wanting to be around the stupid girl but you need to think about your husband first and not allow anyone else to control your happiness and what you do. don’t allow her to drive you away from doing something with the family, hopefully she just won’t show up or will decide to leave

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I would go if i were you, be civil and be there for the kids. But him telling you that your feelings don’t matter, is bull crap. You have every right to be angry with her. She tried to get your children TAKEN from you. Who does that??? Someone who causes problems for others, so that no one can be happy around them. It sounds like you and your husband need to have a talk about what really matters, the kids first, and both of your opinions and feelings should be a priority. Although, If you feel she would do anything to harm your child or affect your mental well-being, stay far away from that party. You’re a person too. Keep that in mind!! Hope it works out :two_hearts:

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Yes your are 100 percent right I don’t understand why your husband is not very angry with his sister for what she did

There’s 2 sides of this. . . 1 people underestimate those who struggle with addiction. She owes you an apology. Although, you should never know who called it in however, you do which makes it worse. 2 they need to validate your feelings that what she did to you hurt you and that it is not taken lightly what was done. You may forgive her but you don’t plan on forgetting.

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I wouldn’t go, stay away from her/them. Who knows what kind of trick they might play on you. I wouldn’t trust her or anybody from her fam.

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I would go, stay close to my child and ALWAYS make sure there was a witness if you are both in the same room!

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Your child is what matters. Because, they depend on you to make the right choices for them. I don’t know how long ago she called on you, but if it was recent then your husband needs to respect your choice of not wanting to participate with a family activity at this time. Let him know that maybe one day you all can build trust, but today is not it.
Good luck!

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I see a huge red flag here, when he said your feelings don’t matter. That is BULLSHIT. This is a sign of either an abusive or toxic relationship. You’re feelings DO MATTER in fact they are the most important issue here. I wouldn’t want to be around someone who did that kind of crap to me either. The fact that he is forcing you onto a situation you don’t want to be in is another sign of an abusive/toxic relationship. Anyone doing these things to another is NOT OKAY.

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Nope if it wasnt for a good reason for her call …I’d confront her ass and knock her out…but that’s just me

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No you are not wrong, and your husband should be standing up for you. Nor would I let my child go. If she hasnt formally apologised to you, she is still a threat

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NO and if your husband thinks you should just let it go then maybe he was in on it too . Been there done that . I do not like a damn liar. It takes a LONG time to trust people like that after doing something like that. You might forgive her but you can do that from a distance don’t have to Ever be in her presence again and if the husband and mother n law are feeling that way then they must be guilty and was in on it too

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The fact your HUSBAND says your feelings do not matter … boy bye! Don’t deal with that shit! Stay your ass home and let him tend that event with them alone!

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That’s emotional abuse from your husband. You do what your heart tells you!! Stay away from her and sounds like all of them tbh.

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It doesn’t matter right or wrong…your feelings is what matters. In a marriage compromise needs to happen (on both parts) maybe go but have your husband run interference with your sil. He also needs to respect what happened and that you could’ve lost your kids even if for a short time. CPS is no small matter.

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Your feelings absolutely matter.

Having started with that, you should be at that party. With your head held high. You passed all their tests. Teach your child what it is to be the bigger person. Sounds like no one showed your in laws, so it’s up to you my darling! :sunflower::cowboy_hat_face::heart:

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If she’s on drugs still I wouldn’t myself or cmy child around that

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I think you should talk with her about what she did and how it affected you so you can put it behind you

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Take the high road. Be nice. Speak when spoken to. Ignore if something negative is brought up. Be the better person. Do it for you. If you dont she wins.

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If she is on drugs no way I would take my child around that

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The biggest problem in this whole post is this: ‘husband said my happiness and feelings don’t matter, just his and our child…’ That is huge red flag.
But let’s address the SIL issue first. If my SIL (or sister, mother, stranger, etc) ever dared to call CPS on me, especially when I’ve done nothing wrong, it would be a cold day in hell before she would darken my doorstep or vice versa (at the very least it would be a loooong time before I could even entertain being in the same room with her). My children (and husband) are a line you do not cross. Period, end of story, it’s a dealbreaker. If she genuinely had concerns, she should have come to you like a grown woman and talked to YOU about it. Calling CPS should have been the absolute last resort. That is a bell that cannot be unrung.
Now. The husband. Your concerns and opinions and feelings are absolutely valid. For him to say that is incredibly dismissive and hurtful. Especially when you have every right to feel that way. Your SIL put your child in harms way. She would never have access to me or my child again. And he needs to support you on this. Tell him he can go, but you and the child will sit this one out. I wish you the best.

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If it isn’t resolved it probably isn’t safe to have your kid there. More could be made up against you. I have had all sorts of stuff made up against me, my ex told cps a bunch of stuff like we had no running water. We never found out who, but someone kept calling CPS on us years ago saying we had no food and our windows were too low. We had a lot of food.I don’t let people in my home anymore, because of it.

I would allow him to take your daughter but I don’t think you should go you are absolutely right about the feelings you have it would be difficult to be around her or trust her

I would not go. My husband would never want or try to make me go. Just the thought of how angry I would be makes me feel for you.

No way. I would never be able to deal with that. How long ago though?

If ya husband said your feeling don’t matter, then he don’t need to be your husband. And, you are right to avoid her when she has a drug past in order to protect your child and yourself. You are welcome to bring your child here for Halloween.

Neither your husband or MIL has defended you to her?

Your hubbs should have your back. I wouldn’t go

you are right. but remember her mindset you now have the family she lost. not making excuses but at some point for your happiness either forgive/move on or cut ties but understand this sounds like it could cause other problems with your husband. in life we have to choose our battles. good luck

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What is wrong with your husband???

Dont ever let another person control your life, you go have a blast if she says something to you tell her gracefully to fuck off and get your husband which should always have your back.

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It’s good to forgive to help you heal. You don’t have to put yourself in that situation with those who hurt you!

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kinda had the same situation yrs ago…
I’d stay away because u r still upset (and should b) you may b provoked or pushed to far and things could go bad quick…Is she off drugs I wouldn’t want her around me or my child if she is gonna b strung out.if she is off drugs sounds like she owes you and apology so everyone can move on.
good luck.

No you have right to stay away from her. She lie and not funny. Forget her but don’t let in your life anymore. Be busy with other things and don’t get catch up in this drama. May God bless you.

She’s what I call dangerous so no I wouldn’t go!Who the hell would want to be around someone who made a false claim to get their child taken away no matter who it is…If you care about your child stay far away!!Your child is what is important!If your husband cares about his child he would too.Sounds like you need to kick daddy to the curb!

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He’ll no…if you don’t want to go your husband should understand…especially if this is still fresh…sister or not…he should kick her ass

Why is there no punctuation on this post?

Why doesn’t your husband think you matter too I would stay away from that sister in law as far as I could get and have a heart to heart with hubby

Nope it’s your job as a parent to protect your children at all cost.

Toxic is toxic even if it’s family. Stay far away!!! I dont see my sil and neither do my children. My husband still does but he does so without us.

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Show up and knock her teeth in if she starts talking trash.

Get away from all of them! This is not good for your child.

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Your happiness and feelings does matter don’t ever let anyone tell you they don’t. I wouldn’t go

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Go and make sure you take one of your family members with you

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I wouldn’t want anything to do with her!!!

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Make up your own mind on it.

That’s a no from me.

I would not want to be around her either!

Nope…i wouldn’t go…

I wouldn’t want to be with her wither

go, don’t let her have any more control over your life, but don’t have anything to do with her,

Nicole Cook, I agree!

Don’t go. She was wrong.

You can’t pick your family. You are stuck with them. I hope she is clean now. It is a sickness. But doesn’t deserve a pitty party by any means.
She was projecting and wanted you to suffer too. You were better than that. Thus you have your child. Keep being better, don’t let anyone pull you down, and never ever let anyone goat you into showing your ass. Especially in front of kids and family. Don’t do or say anything that anyone can whisper BS behind your back for ever. Watch your own back. As tempting as it is, don’t add alcohol. Make this a kids thing. When and if she calls CPS again the others there won’t be able to say anything bad about you. You can hate her all you want, you just have to keep to yourself

I’d go and take the best “bitch friend” you know and throw in her face she lost her kids…all nite long only for her ears…ya know, then it’s you never said 2 words to her…play that high school shit right back

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go where youre celebrated not where youre tolerated

Your husband is a mama’s boy or an egotistical idiot!

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I say screw him and everyone who is on her side don’t go and specially don’t let her near your kids the hell with that shit

My MIL did the same thing to us and we haven’t spoken to her in over 2 years. Cut that bitch off and if ANYONE has a problem with it, let them know that they will get cut off, too.

Kick that POS husband to the curb.

They seem like the type that their family can do no wrong no matter how much they fxk up it’s always someone else’s fault. With all due respect, your husband is an asshole for saying that crap to you. You and his child are suppose to be #1 above everything and everyone no matter who it is, even his own mother! I wouldn’t go and I’d demand respect from your husband, if he still acts like a jerk…you need to seriously evaluate your life with him because I promise you this is just the tip of the iceberg, it will get much worse!

She’s JEALOUS! Straighten your crown and walk in and own that bitch ! :wink: Flaunt it honey! Don’t let her get you down… make her eat her pain